Another Leap of Faith

One dream becomes reality

2011-10-16T08:05:00.000-05:00

I started riding my bike in 2004 when my friend Legs suggested that Trainer and I do the MS150 the following Spring of 2005, a bicycle ride from Houston to Austin. She had done it the year before and so we said, great! Sounds Good! Lucky for me a co-worker rode and so did his 2 sons. They had an extra bike that he was willing to sell me for $200. We didn't want to invest too much money into the bike because we didn't even know if I'd like riding. Another $100 went into the bike - seat, handlebars and some other little things. And the next week I went on my first 10 mile ride. Which I thought was SOOOO far!

In 2005, before the ride, Trainer got a brand new bike with Dura Ace (top of the line) components for a GREAT price, it was one of those...'we have to do this, too good to pass up' kind of deals. We trained and trained (he used to bribe me with scones in the middle of our ride) and finally made it to Houston, with our bikes in boxes, and did the ride from Houston to Austin. I loved it. That is also when we fell in love with Austin and decided to move here!

Once we moved here I didn't do much riding, running...anything...for about a year. I gained 10 lbs and was working all of the time. In 2007 I started running again. In 2008 was my first attempt at swimming, that didn't stick. Then I met Mid-West Girl. During our friendship she started training for the Austin Triathlon in 2009. So I told her I would ride with her. It got me back on my bike and remembering how much I LOVED riding. Just for the joy of being outdoors, alone with your thoughts, looking at all the beauty that surrounds us...for me it's like a sanctuary. A really big one. Anyway, after riding with her for months and months, running with my running partner I decided to take real swim lessons with T3 Training group and then I started Triathlons. But my love was and is the bike.

We put off getting me a new bike because something else was always more important. New windows, vet bills, paying off debt...and once we started doing that I wasn't going to spend thousands on a bike. My little, heavy, Cannondale got me through several Century rides, countless weekend rides, 6 triathlons included a Half Ironman, and brought me peace when I needed it the most. I will always love that heavy monster.

It's been a year now that I've been with my new training group FOMO, well...my Coachy Coach is a sponsored athlete and she can share some of those discounts with her athletes...such as myself. Those discounts included (drum roll) bicycles. OMG. I scored a complete deal on this bad boy below...or will it end up being a bad girl. Hmmm...ponder that. Anyway, no, our debt is not paid off. Yes, this will add about 2 months to the end of our schedule. BUT, this is a one time shot to get something really nice for myself for a really great price. Not everyone understands it. One of my girlfriends said I was crazy and that she'd spend that money going to Europe. (PS - that kind of money won't get you very far in the EU.)

So - here it is...my new ride...that should arrive on Wednesday or Thursday (most likely Thursday b/c that is how my life goes):

What do you think...male or female....hmmm...

Well, time for my long run, I've put it off long enough. Peace out my pretties!

Six weeks until Vacation!!!! (Rambling post)

2011-09-27T10:14:00.001-05:00

GAWD I cannot wait to go on vacation. This hot weather is sucking the life and soul out of me. And now with the wind my allergies are mimicking a sore throat and shitty attitude. :)

Okay, so first I have to respond to Shan's comment on my last post. Love my Shan, Sexy Hippy Mama, with all my heart. If I told all of you readers how much sleep I get you might hunt me down and slaughter me in the middle of the night. I get 8-10 hours every night (albeit broken sleep - thank you Brody, but still.) I do sleep, and sleep, and sleep and if I didn't have to get up I'd probably sleep some more. And just to point out to all of my parental readers: Believe me when I tell you that my athletic endeavors are SO much easier and less energy sucking than your adorable children. I can go out on a 7 hour bike ride, run for 30 min and still be able to make it through the rest of the day (with a short nap of course) and be fine the next day. When I watched my precious little 'H' man while Yoga Babe was giving birth (yes, remember I was there during a home birth) for 8 hours I was exhausted. Mentally, physically exhausted for the next 2 days! My point is that child rearing (haha) is effing hard work, a lot harder than this tri shit.

Speaking of tri-shit. I am on my maintenance plan and enjoying it. I have one week left and then I start training for my 1/2 marathon in January. I'm excited. Running with a purpose is good at times, especially when I'm trying to refocus on me, my body, my motivation...etc. You get the idea. Blah-diity-blah-blah-blah.

Fun stuff in life: Went to tea with Yoga Babe and a new friend on Saturday. (side note - I was completely lazy on Saturday, read a book and a half, did no exercise...blissful day.) The Steeping Room is one of our favorite places and after tea we walked around the outdoor shopping area and well, we shopped. I got new UNDIES! YEAH!!! Yes, I am super stoked about my new undies, and they are not Fredrick's undies, they are good 'ol day to day underwear. They have come along way in 7 years. I think that is the last time I purchased undies for day to day. I have plenty of uncomfortable, only on for an hour max, sexy, sassy, play things underwear. I bought 14 new undies. Bikini and thongs. They are SOOOO comfortable. I threw out all of the old undies. Very satisfying. UNDIES!!!! Sorry, still excited and it was 3 days ago. :)

OH, and I remembered why I quit WW this last time. It doesn't quite work right for people that exercise a lot. I guess it could...I don't know, maybe I'm doing it wrong?? Regardless I'm paid up through December so I will lose that $$, but I did join a nutrition challenge through my nutritionist. Probably a better way to go since it is custom to me, my workout habits and life habit...ie; pizza Fridays and pastry Sundays.

K, I'm just babbling again. I will post again tomorrow (mostly b/c work is sucking the life out of me and this makes it bearable.) I will pick one of those topics from my last post. Have a great day! It's Tuesday, 4 days to go. Rockin.

I need a tape recorder...

2011-09-17T20:07:00.000-05:00

...for my bike. So that when I'm riding and have all of these fabulous ideas for blogging I remember them when I actually sit down to WRITE the blog. *sigh*

This is the phrase that has been plaguing my thoughts this week:

"Wanting something means nothing if you're not going to DO anything to get what you want."

When I was trying to organize my 'crap' room I came across my old (seriously old, like when I was 17-18years old...old) journals. Here is the opening sentence to one entry: "I want to be thin...and I'm writing this as I eat a snickers bar." Well duh honey! That's not going to work! And today I find myself doing the exact same thing. Well, not really a snickers bar, but too many calories, not enough burn...etc. Whatever.

My score for the week on getting up early = 0/5, that's right. NO early mornings! DAMN IT! But, I will try again next week. I have to keep trying. One of these days I might actually get a foot on the floor, followed by the other foot, dressed and out the door. It could happen. Really. Swear.

Other things that were going through my head on my ride, which will become blog post (so stay tuned!):

I need new friends, ones that aren't talented...so I can feel like I am talented.
This fat leg thingy issue is a curse, but a blessing.
Why do I stay at my job.
Women CAN be crazy and over sensitive, and then there's the other side of the coin.
Why did I start this blog.
If self-loathing were a competition I could podium.

And so on and so on. At least I have ammunition for 6 new posts, and I think they'll turn out well.

But really, back to the 'wants'. Action is needed to make these 'wants' into reality. If I want a new bike I need to save for it. If I want to become a better athlete I have to practice/train. If I want to lose weight, like really lose the weight, I'm going to have to take action (fortunately I'm on the right path for this one!) And if I really want to do an Ironman I am going to have to DO a lot of 'somethings' to make it a reality. Actions speak louder than words, even if the words are only in your head.

My solo ride was good today. I rode 26 miles at 16.4mph, so getting my speed back...slowly. I'm still about 2mph shy of what I was riding in 2009, so I'll keep at it. Can't get a new bike and suck. I completed my brick (run right after bike) and it was a struggle, but I didn't short myself. Yesterday I did my run, I didn't short myself. Tomorrow I will run AND swim...and that's right...I won't short myself.

Tomorrow and the next day and the day after that I will strive to become a better version of myself. What will you do today or tomorrow or the next day to take a step towards those 'wants'?

Control

2011-09-10T10:17:00.000-05:00

Getting back into the swing of things takes a certain amount of control.

During my lunch with Coachy Coach she asked me some great questions, many were just to get me thinking, but most were to get me moving in the right direction. One was, "well, how ARE you going to get control of your eating and working out?" Legit questions coming from the person who writes my workouts and is seeing no progress...to no fault of her own, which I tell her every week. :)

Anyway, the good news is that even before our meeting I had just joined (or re-joined) Weight Watchers. They have yet another system, I think this will be my 4th time doing the plan?? The first time didn't work, but I don't think I really wanted to lose the weight. Or rather, I didn't want to work at it. And losing weight takes work...a lot of work and perceived sacrifice. (Because really...saying no to a donut isn't a 'real' sacrifice...) I started on Tuesday morning and by my weigh in on Friday I was already down 3lbs. Yes, water weight, however if I keep drinking the water - the weight will stay off - so I consider it a real loss. I will weigh in once a week like I'm supposed to and log-in online and TRACK my shit. Yes, you have to track what is going in your mouth and you are forced to make decisions. I feel more in control and know that this is all in my hands. Good.

And guess what? From there, the weight loss comes the benefits of exercise. I get more 'points' if I exercise...meaning I can eat a little more when I exercise, not the entire farm. ie; after a 2 hour workout I can go have a slice or two of pizza and not worry about it...however, I cannot have the 2 slices of pizza, a cinnamon roll, ice cream and mac and cheese for dinner. Which sadly, yes I admit it, has happened before. I haven't gained a ton of weight, but I popped back into the 160s which ticks me off. So now I am less than 2 pounds away from the 150s (yes, that would be 159) and I'm motivated to get there. (Oh, and more than that...it is so much easier to run and bike when you weigh less, every 5lbs makes a HUGE difference.)

Motivated to get there....and to do my workouts. Every week my dear Coachy Coach write these workouts and on Sunday I get ALL excited for what the week holds. Then ultimately I work a few 10-12 hour days, come home, feed the pups, start dinner and it is 8pm and dark outside. And then my lovely 9month old pup wakes us up every couple of hours to go outside...and not because he needs to relieve himself, but because it's cool outside and he wants to bark...so I get no sleep and am exhausted and therefore do not get my ass out of bed to get to the gym. Then a pattern of missed workouts start to pile up, I start to feel like shit from missing the workouts....and then we repeat the pattern. (Pete and Repeat go into a bar, Pete comes out, who is left? Repeat...Okay, Pete and Repeat go into a bar...)

Well, Trainer has no choice and has to get up for clients. I've made another decision that I'm going to get up at 5 am every morning next week and GO TO THE GYM (that opens at 5:30 and is 5 min from the house) and do my workouts. At least the ones I can do at the gym, like mid-week cycling and swimming, the running I will only do on the dreadmill if there is no other alternative.

I have the puppies in Playcare 2x a week so on those days (Monday and Thursday) I am going to workout in the AM and/or at lunch. There, I said it. Now I have to accountable. Which is something I obviously need. I will report back next weekend to tell everyone (my millions of readers....hahaha) what I did and did not do. I'm not superhuman, I know that, but I can do SO much better than what I've been doing. I AM better than this. I am. I know it.

And...we're back! Again

2011-09-08T18:40:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I don't have the best track record for blogging. *Le Sigh*

I think I'll start the new chapter with - A year to remember...my 37th year.

As we know, if you follow me, my b-day was just a week or so ago. The big 38, so I've decided to do a year in review. What did I learn this year? Well, I learned that grief and depression suck. I learned that when something bad happens it really can get worse. I also learned that when you feel like you are alone, which you are because you've been isolating yourself, there really are people there waiting for you to rejoin life....right where you left off.

Actually year 37 started off awesome with a 65 mile bike ride on my actual b-day. I completed a half Iron Man in under 7 hours. I steadily worked at my debt (which is still there, but dwindling.) And then...well G-buddy passed away. We won't rehash, I've written a lot about it already.

I read a lot of books, I took about 5-6 months off of training...well, really life. :) And then I tried to start back again...and again....and again....and I keep on trying. But I found that this is the key. You have to keep trying. I love my life, my husband, my pups...I mean, I have it really great. So it's worth getting up every day and trying to make myself better.

Today I had lunch with my Coachy Coach (she's so effing adorable) and she was trying to get 'What motivates me' and it is making me think. Self analysis, I know I've been down this road before, but delve into it we must.

I am only competitive with things that I am good at....say like music (although I don't know if that is true any more either! HA!) Obviously I'm not competitive with triathlon. At least not with anyone but myself.

I don't know if it's because I am a Virgo or that I was born to my mother, but I am extremely hard on myself and want to please people. If I don't make a goal I feel like I've disappointed someone...how ridiculous is this??? Ri-dic-u-lous. So each week I get workouts and I can complete them however I want, but lately I've only been doing about 50% or less...and I feel bad about that. This shouldn't be stressful...I do this for FUN...HELL I PAY FOR THIS SHIT! Okay, so how to re-frame my mind, how to get this to be enjoyable again? Suggestions? Ha, actually suggestions wont work, it has to come from within, I know that. Ugh.

So here it is...next year I am pre-training for the 2013 IMAZ. Along the way I am going to set some goals and see how it goes. Here are a splattering of goals for 2012:

-Run Ladera Norte, no walking (really effing steep hill in the NW Hills area)

-Run the 3M 1/2 marathon in January

-Do a Spring race, never done one before

-Do at least 2 charity rides (or non charity, but just fun rides) of 70+ miles in the Spring

-Participate in the Splash and Dash series, they are cheap, fun and I'll get pummeled in the water.

That's it for now, will fill in more along the way. Sorry for the long ass post, but hell...I've been gone for a bit!

'Til later my sweets!! Rockin

Blogging Project - Day 21

2011-05-20T09:06:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite shows

Hmmm...well, this doesn't specify what kind of show. I'm assuming they mean television right? Because my favorite show...as in musical...is Wicked. Hands down. Awesome. I was able to see it in Chicago while I was on a business trip.

Okay, one of my favorite television shows. Growing up it would have been a toss up between Family Ties and The Cosby Show. Thursday night prime time, we were only allowed 1hr of tv on that day, other wise it was 30 min a day.

Today one of my favorite shows is House. I love the dynamics between the characters, I love the basis of the show, the medical mysteries...everything about it. We DVR it and watch it on the weekends. I say I don't like reality tv, however two of my other favorite shows are just that. Top Chef and Dancing with the Stars. Yes. I'm not ashamed...and I hope Hines Ward takes it all!!!

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Today I am all packed up and ready to head to Houston after work to cheer on my friends that are doing IronMan Texas!!! We won't get in until late and tomorrow my day will start at 4am, helping my peeps, driving back and forth to hotels and trying to calm nerves. The race will go until midnight, although I believe most of my friends will be done by 11pm. Still...a long day for everyone. I've never seen an IronMan live, very, very exciting stuff!!!

OH, and since this was the only day I could do it...I rode my bike to work today. 'Cause it is National Ride your Bike to Work Day. In case you didn't know. :)

Blogging Project - Day 20

2011-05-16T10:18:00.002-05:00

Holy Crap! Can you believe I've done 20 of these so far? Me either. And yes, I'm behind. :)

How important I believe education is

Extremely important. Not just for the knowledge, but the social skills and interaction with adults that aren't your parents. You learn how to adapt in different situations, you learn tolerance, you learn so many thing aside from the books. And yes, books (or information) are important to. :)

So many kids today go to school, yet are uneducated. Seriously, get on FB to see how many youngsters misspell or use words incorrectly. DRIVES ME CRAZY! I'm so glad that I went to school at a time where teachers weren't forced to teach to a test. That is what is happening today. Back in my day....a LONG time ago...teachers were unique, you wanted to be in their class! Now most of the creativity has been driven away. I'm not saying that the teachers today are sub-par, I just believe that they don't have the same opportunity or freedoms that my teachers did. Sad.

College. Is it important? Yes and no. I went to school for music education, I have a degree in K-12, however I have never stepped into a classroom after I finished college. I waited tables (talk about a life lesson!!!) and then went into accounting, and I love it. I think my degree opened the door for me, it shows employers that you can finish something. But I know many people who do not have a college education and are intelligent driven people and are very successful. Toss up. And today's world is based on 'who you know' rather than 'what you know.'

Okay...on to the next day. :)

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In training news last week was awesome. I completed 5 workouts and they were assigned. This week is not going AS well, but I'm still plugging away.

Me...college days:

Blogging Project - Day 19

2011-05-13T16:25:00.002-05:00

Disrespecting your parents

This is not a tough one for me. I believe that your parents deserve respect. I didn't even curse around my parents until maybe the last 5 years, and still I cannot say the 'F' word in front of them. I never talked back. My mom was pretty hardcore with the verbal discipline, and I never wanted to find out if she would make good on her 'promises' and I learned to just fade into the back ground.

I only got in trouble once in my youth, I think I was 12, Little Bro would have been about 4, and I said something like, "I wish he had never been born!!!" and my dad grabbed my arm and said, "So you wish that he was dead??" and I got sent to my room. No, I mean...I didn't wish he was DEAD, I just didn't ever want him there to begin with! I was the baby for 8 years! COME ON! That was it though, I didn't want to disappoint them or hurt them.

Our parents have gone through a lot of shit. I mean, most of us have it pretty darn good, but refuse to see it. My dad was tossed from one foster home to the next when his mom was tired of him and his sisters. When grandma needed the money she took the kids back for more Welfare $$. And my mom...well, her house was made of mud...in Mexico. 'Nuff said. They deserve respect. They earned it. And it drives me crazy that kids today get away with way too much and have no consequences...and they think they're entitled. BUT, that is a whole different post...sigh.

Respect your parents. Always.

***Disclaimer....there are certain parents out there who do not deserve the kind of respect that I give my parent. Abuse, neglect and other ugly realities exist and those people don't deserve the children that they had/have.

Blogging Project - Day 18

2011-05-11T10:17:00.002-05:00

My Beliefs

Hmmm, how to approach this...list? I think so.

I believe the children are our future...oh, wait....that's a song right?

Seriously, I think I covered a lot of my beliefs along the way here, I'll just do up some bullet points:

I believe that everything happens for a reason
I believe there is something guiding the universe (faith) and every person's 'something' can be different
I believe that a run, coffee and chatting with a friend is great therapy
I believe that shopping, margaritas, trying on fancy dresses and chatting with friends is even better therapy!
I believe that every person meets for a reason, we all play a role in this movie called 'Life'
I believe that teachers are severely underpaid
I believe that parents should take responsibility for raising their children
I believe that I grew up in the best decade ever (the 80s-90s rule!)
I believe that mistakes are life lessons, we should all make them
I believe that you should pick up after your dog - Pooh Kharma is real people!!
I believe that every day is a gift, some days it may feel like a prank, but hey, we're still alive
I believe that I don't want to live past 80, we'll see what I say if I'm still here at 79 :)

That's about it. I mean, there is a LOT of stuff that I believe, but really, this is the good list. Now, in theses past couple of days some of my college day friends have been posting pictures...OMG, funny. I'll be posting these in the next couple of days, starting with this one (take note, I always drank good beer!):

Blogging Project - Day 17

2011-05-10T15:40:00.004-05:00

My Highs and Lows this past Year

Ugh, I knew I couldn't go too long without a heavy one! This year, from May 2010 to May 2011 wasn't the hardest year of my life, but man...it was a roller coaster.

Starting on a high note I met D-Bomb at the Rookie Tri last year, we were volunteering. She was really nice, by herself and no one was talking to her...except me...cause you all know that I love to talk...to anyone. We hit it off and have really been friends ever since! Then I did my first tri of the Texas Tri Series, Skees Greets. I trained hard last year, through the summer and met a great group of girls that I believe will be life long friends.

Ummm, got an ulcer from stress, both physical and mental (work!!), but other than that was very healthy last year. My in-laws came in and we reconciled after a long 7 years. And of course Trainer and I continued to grow in our relationship.

Now for the tough stuff... I met my goal of completing a half IronMan on October 17th. Ooh and just before that I was a part of a home birth with YZB and that was amazing...right before my big day! I finished my race in 6hr 55 min. I was sick as a dog from dehydration, but it was amazing. I think right after the race I said, "I'll never do that again!!" (However I'm starting to train for my next one.) I took the next 2-3 weeks off and started with a new coach. THEN Trainer and I went on our much deserved vacation to Florida for Thanksgiving.

That started the downward spiral that I'm just now coming out of... My beloved Gunthar died while we were gone. And for some reason I just could not cope. I tried. Exercise didn't work. Food didn't work. Alcohol didn't work. Talking about it only made it worse... *sigh*...it was a horrible couple of months. I stopped going out with people, stopped exercising, stopped participating in life for a bit. THEN I got help...from a medical professional. Like I said before, just asking for help took a load of pressure off of my heart.

Now I am back to being social, exercising...drinking (responsibly!) and of course talk, talk, talking! (That encompasses blogging IMO!) I teared up just a little writing that above paragraph, but before I would have been in a heap of tears. (Can you be in a heap of tears??)

Back on the upswing. We got a new puppy...Brody...the Brodster...Schmoopy...Pooh Bear...sweet little guy. I got a tiny, ensie-weensie raise, got offered another job on my qualifications, made good life decisions and whacked off another year of debt! So all in all it was a good year. The lows made me stronger. The highs made me appreciate everything that I have in my life.

Blogging Project - Day 16

2011-05-09T09:09:00.003-05:00

Sorry, sorry... (SHANNA)...I fell off the wagon temporarily. There are days I actually do have to work where it takes the entire day. :) I know... sacrilegious!

My view on mainstream music

LOVE IT! Okay, really I don't love all of it. But sadly...for being a music major...I don't have a strong opinion either way. I love all kinds of music. Not a big fan of R&B, heavy rap or thrash metal. Everything else from classical to funk to heavy metal is great in my book. Living in Austin you'd think that I'd be a bit of a snob, but really...not so much. My FAV kind of music is an original 'sound' if that makes sense. I love Pink, no one sounds just like her. Sheryl Crow, James Hetfield, Macy Gray...these are people that aren't cookie cutter. Never been a big bubble gum pop fan....Britney, Christina, Miley etc.

Eh, to each his/her own. Oh, and I love mainstream big box office movies too. Yep. Sure do.

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This past Saturday I did the Shiner Ride. It's a 100 (97 actually, but we round up) mile ride from Austin, TX to Shiner, TX...right to the Shiner brewery. Score! Last year was awesome and this year was good, but not as successful for several reasons. It was hot and effing windy. Very, Very windy. The last 10 miles were the worst, but I did have some great spots on the ride. All of this swimming...or finning as I prefer to call it...is helping me with hills! Well, that's my theory anyway! I rode with D-Bomb and it was her first time doing a century ride. These are not for the faint of heart. You have to have a strong resolve and a high tolerance for pain b/c your Whoo-haaa will feel like it's being caught on fire...over and over and over again.

Then yesterday I finned my way around the Quarry with my Ironfriends. I'm just a Sherpa (pack mule that does whatever you need on race day), but I'm an Iron Sherpa! All I do it put on my fins and grab my kick board and swim in front of my friends. They sight off of my feet and board, well, I turn around and put up my bright yellow board when they start going off track! Major leg work this weekend. But I'm getting my training mojo back. Very excited about that.

Hope everyone had a fab Mother's day!! Here's a geek'd out pic of me and D from the ride:

Blogging Project - Day 15

2011-05-05T18:41:00.003-05:00

My Favorite Tmblrs

Okay, I must be really, really old because I have no idea what Tmblr is! Okay, just looked it up, and in case anyone else is as old and uneducated (techwise) as I...here you go:

From my Google search

Web definitions

Tumblr is a blogging platform that allows users to post text, images, video, links, quotes, and audio to their tumblelog, a short-form blog. Users are able to "follow" other users and see their posts together on their dashboard. Users can "like" or "reblog" posts from other blogs on the site. ...

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tumblr

So does it just mean 'Blog'? Eh, whatever. I'm not playing on this one since I don't understand it. HAHA! How old and crotchety do I sound???

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Went to the Dr today for my shoulder that has been jacked up since November. I didn't tear anything, but the therapy is super painful. I'll have to go 2x a week for a couple of weeks to release the muscles that are pinching the tendons and ligaments in my subscap. I almost threw up when he was doing ART (Active release therapy) on it.

I'm doing the Shiner Century (100 miles) on Saturday and I'm so not as ready as I was last year. That's okay though, I will just have fun and peddle my legs off. I'll report on that Monday. :) Ta-ta for now peeps! The Austin Motel sign always cracks my juvie a** up!!

Blogging Project - Day 14

2011-05-04T10:41:00.002-05:00

My earliest memory

Have I talked about this before?? Hmmm...maybe. My earliest memory is at age 4, going over to Hoe's house to see if they had any little girls my age in residence. I'm sure I didn't say, "Do you have any girls that are 4yrs old in residence" more likely "Do you have any little girls to play with?" And they did. My mom must have been with me...but I don't remember her as a part of the equation. I do remember Hoe's mom, and her sister...and of course her. She had her golden brown lock (similar to mine) pinned back in barrettes. I can't remember what she was wearing, maybe a dress...but that part of the memory is not clear.

Funny thing about these random memories. There are chunks of my life that I cannot remember at all! But I'll remember the name of a friend of a friend that he/she mentioned in a story...once. My memory is so bizarre. I forget little things all of the time, which kind of scares me, I'm sure it's normal, but lately it's been happening more. Eeek!

After that first memory I remember my kindergarten year, I was burned with a cigarette by this kid named Carlos. I was wearing my Cookie Monster cardigan. We were both just 5 years old and how he got a ciggy I'll never know, but he burned me and put a hole in my sweater...loved that sweater.

I remember dressing up for Easter with Hoe in our matching pink checkered dresses and white patent leather shoes. (We had a lot of matching outfits...) I remember parts of Girl Scout camp. Ooh, I remember in 4th grade...my mom loved my teacher (she was awesome...Ms. Spitzer) and made her a fresh strawberry pie. The teacher cut me a slice and I was allowed to sit out in the hall and have a piece! I remember almost everything my mom baked for my birthdays in Elementary School.

I don't remember much about Jr High or High School. Crazy huh? And there are big chunks of college that I don't remember as well. And no...I didn't do drugs and really didn't drink. No idea why these memories are repressed.

Anywho...those are some of my earliest memories. :) This below is not my earliest (obviously) but one of my favorites.

Blogging Project - Day 13

2011-05-03T15:48:00.003-05:00

Somewhere I'd like to move or visit

Hmmm, well...if I could move and live a comfortable life (and own a house that does not resemble a shack) I'd live in San Diego, ON the beach so I could have coffee outside every single morning. But since that is not going to happen any time soon I am content where I am living. I LOVE Austin. There is so much to do...if you say there isn't then it's your own fault for not wanting to leave your house!

And somewhere I'd like to visit...SO many places I'd like to visit. Fiji would be at the TOP of the list. Amsterdam, Ireland...well Europe in general would be cool. Although I do tend to favor the sunnier places on earth...that have white sand beaches where I can read and sleep while listening to the ocean soothe away all of my thoughts. Ahhh...wish I was in St. John right now!

Blogging Project - Day 12

2011-05-03T15:34:00.003-05:00

This is a day late because...I had to bullet point my day...yawn! Not that I didn't want to do it, it's just not that interesting!

A day in the life of Rockin' Austin

Wake up at 6:30ish...
Trainer brings me breakfast in bed (Oatmeal supreme and coffee)
Leave the house at 8am (yes, I'm supposed to actually be AT work at 8)
BORING PART...work from 8am-1pm...at my desk answering angry people all day.
1pm - Every Monday I go to the grocery store for my lunch if I can and get the weeks worth of stuff
1:45 - unpack groceries and start making my ghetto-tizers for the IM meeting at night.
2:15pm back to work
5:30pm - leave work, get home, play with pups
6:10pm - leave the house to head to Coachy Coach's house
6:35pm - arrive 5 min late, set out my food, much and visit with my tri-peeps
7:00pm - IM meeting (for the athletes, we're just spectating, but it was cool to hear all the info!)
8:45pm - Drive ALL the way back home...it's like 10 miles or something ridiculous! (HA!)
9:00pm - Arrive home, play with pups
9:15pm - Take pills, wash face, brush teeth and hop into bed
9:30pm - Watch silly tv to try and fall asleep
10:45pm - Turn on CNN and the sleep timer and lay my head down.

Boring right? I think so. No exercise in there since I rode 86 mile on Sunday, my legs were a bit...shall we say spent and let's not get in to the coochy area. OUCH!

Blogging Project - Day 11

2011-04-30T12:05:00.003-05:00

10 random songs from my iPod

Well, this is an easy one! Although I have a shuffle, so it's always shuffled. :)

Gravedancer - Velvet Revolver
Home - Daughtry
Home - Sheryl Crow
Hot in Here - Nelly (explicit version of course!)
In Da Club - 50 Cent (Explicit once again)
Into the Ocean - Blue October
Jar of Hearts - Christina Perri
Keep Away - Godsmack
Lady Marmalade - Moulin Rouge Soundtrack
Lately - David Gray

Funny thing, this is what I take with me to run or do other cardio (aside from the bike b/c we all know my view on cyclists wearing headphones!!!) I love to run to slower songs, I'm sure it doesn't help my pace any, but it makes me happy.

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Went out for D-Bomb's birthday last night. It was hellafun! Her husband rented a Hummer-Limo and there were 11 of us, drank too much, danced too much, wore high heels and make-up. Crazy good times. Trainer even went (he's such a trooper) and didn't say one thing when we went dancing at Rain (a Gay club in the heart of Austin!) I even danced in a cage...twice... Needless to say we cancelled our 80 mile ride for today. I will have to run, but that's much easier to do when feeling...well, 37 after a night out!

And as you can see, I'm getting back on the workout train. I did a spin session on Thursday, ran Friday morning and then swam 3600 meters with TB (tiny bunny) at lunch for an hour and a half! Today I'll run and possibly swim then tomorrow I will ride long. It feels good. My mind is good. Overall...good!

Blogging Project - Day 10

2011-04-29T09:40:00.003-05:00

I know, I know...two in one day! But, I forgot to post my 'Day 9' yesterday!

My first love and first kiss

Well, they are definitely not one in the same! My first childhood kiss was with Alan D., a kid who lived down the street from me, we were in 4th grade. We snuck behind my fence and it was over in a millisecond! Ha! My first 'real' kiss (that made me feel all tingly) was with Dan R. in the back of his mom's van on the way back from watching him play hockey. Super romantic!! (NOT!) We had no idea what we were doing, I believe I was 15 at the time, Sophomores in HS. I was pretty much a prude, so 1st base was really it for me. Okay, that's a lie, I think I got to at least 3rd base by the end of HS. BUT, didn't go 'all the way.'

Until...

My first love...*big sigh*....Ricky. The summer after HS Hoe and I went to upstate NY to spend the summer up there. I supposedly had a job (that is why my mom let me go), but in reality Hoe and I just split her paycheck and we were both the grounds keepers at this pool. I'll have to find some of the pics and scan and post. HIL-AR-I-OUS!

Anyway, within our first week there I had met most of the town (it's really tiny) and we went to a party at the 'beach.' (The beach was really a sandy area where there was once water.) All of the kids hung out there around a bonfire drinking and doing stuff that kids shouldn't be doing. It was great. We were just hanging out and this guy comes up to us, he is CUTE and has the most beautiful smile, hair, eyes...and he wanted to talk to me!! ME! What? I know, I was shocked. At this point I didn't believe myself to be a very good looking person, nothing special and I wasn't an outspoken person (my, how things have changed!), or comfortable as the center of attention. Ricky was the homecoming King, the best looking kid in class, very popular...all the things I wasn't.

He ended up taking Hoe and I home in his little sports car (which was the best car in the area) and gave me a small kiss when he let us out. SMITTEN as a kitten I was. We started hanging out, a lot. He was a runner (yep, apparently my 'type') and used to run 8 miles up to the pool. He would get there all sweaty...and drive my 17yr old hormones crazy! We got pretty far on many occasions, but it wasn't until I feel in love with him that I was ready to take that next step. But I did, and it was awkward...the first time...and glorious...and I loved him even more.

Then the summer ended....and he broke my heart. Not right away. We promised to write, call, do all that sappy shit that teenagers promise. I got to school, he wrote me one letter (ONE!) that said that he started dating this chick the same week that I left. I went back a couple summers after that, he was getting married...yes, to that chick. And he almost called it off after we went driving and all of the feelings were still there. But alas, he went through with it. *Le sigh* And I continued on my path...that led me here.

I'm going back to NY this summer for Hoe's wedding (yippee!!) and I hope that he's there. I don't think he will be though...and that's probably good b/c there was a short period of time that I kind of got stalker like on him. :) Hey, I was young! Can you find my younger self?

Blogging Project - Day 9

2011-04-29T09:06:00.002-05:00

How I hope my future will be

Hmmm, well, we already know what I would like the next 10 years to look like. Aside from material goods...I hope that my future will be spent living in Austin (or San Diego if the 1,800 square ft houses on the beach become affordable) and traveling with Trainer.

I also hope that one of my brothers have children that I can spoil so I can bribe them into taking care of me when I'm old! That is one (really the only one I see) downside of not having children. Although, my alternative plan is for T and I to check into one of those adult living areas (like the one from In Her Shoes) and party it up like we did in our 20s.

From now until retirement this is what I hope:

To be happy with what I'm doing for work
To open a wellness center with Trainer
To build a savings account that will leave us more than ready for retirement
To build a spending account for travel and then...well, travel!
To stay in shape and be participating in tris into my 70s!
To possibly, maybe, if the stars all align do an IronMan (shit...did I really write that?)
To write and publish at least one book
And a lot of other stuff that I cannot think of right now!

But for now I just want to be content with my life. Roll with the punches and keep a smile on my face every day.

Blogging Project - Day 8

2011-04-27T11:05:00.002-05:00

Holy crap...are you all as amazed as I am? I've blogged every day with the exception of Sunday??? (That is my weekly gift to myself - no computer Sundays!) And on with the project:

A moment I felt the most satisfied with my life

I can remember the first moment I felt the most satisfied with my life. I was 23 years old, living in Oregon with a random roommate (who I got through 'Roommate finder') and sitting in the park by the water. My roommate had to work, I had the day off, it was a Monday. (I used to work Tues - Sat) And I decided that 'today was the day' that I was going to be okay. Trainer had left me in Oregon to go back to Arizona. This would have been April of 1997. Our 1 month of true separation. He wasn't happy, which was making me a nervous wreck and we decided that he should move back. Like I mentioned, I got a random roommate and stayed in our cottage like apartment. (I loved that place.)

This one perfect Monday in April I took my journal down the the waterfront, a blanket and some water and just sat down and watched life happen around me. I didn't wait for anyone to come home and be with me, I didn't want to meet up with anyone, I wanted just to 'be.' The day was lovely and eye opening. I was okay, I was really going to be okay. Everything happened for a reason and maybe Trainer leaving me was the best thing that had happened. I grew up in that time. I gained confidence, awareness and a freedom that I didn't even realize was missing.

After that day I would go see movies by myself, eat out at a sit-down restaurant by myself...I did everything solo. In the cheesiest terms...'I found myself.' And the person that I found was (IS) awesome.

Don't be fooled and think it was happily ever after from that point on. My life became very turbulent after I moved back to AZ in 1998. And stayed in this vortex of confusion until 2008. When again it hit me (over the head like a ton of bricks) that I will always be okay. I always have myself and everything else (my love, friends, house) is icing on the cake. (That would be yellow cake and chocolate icing - fyi!)

Today and everyday I'm satisfied. Like I said, every single day is a gift. Some you have to wait to open, and some seem like it's a 'white elephant' gag gift. Just open your eyes, your eyes, and see all of the gifts around you...starting with yourself. (Below - me in 2008, Oregon coast)

Blogging Project - Day 7

2011-04-26T13:33:00.004-05:00

My Zodiac Sign - and do I think it fits my personality

My Sun Sign is Virgo, with Libra Ascending and a Virgo Moon. :) I dabbled in Astrology for a bit and had my chart done. I'm fascinated with it. The funny thing is so are my two brothers, although we didn't know that each one of us was looking for the same information at the same time...siblings. Ha.

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Here are the basic traits of Virgos (from http://lilycat.net/virgo.html):

The sixth sign of the zodiac is concerned with:

* self-perfection, critical faculties

* altruism, honesty, responsibility

* cleanliness, hygiene, health, healing

* efficiency, daily routines, reliability

* strength of character, veiled sensuality

* service, hard work, passivity, modesty

* incisive communication, shrewd logical thought

Elemental Quality

Virgo is the mutable earth sign of the zodiac, indicating adaptable practicality. It can be likened to a semi-shaded patio which has been adapted to make a garden filled with a great variety of plants, climbers, and an arbor. Half-hidden, here and there, are garden chaise lounges with rich patchwork covers, bottles of homemade organic wines, and other unexpected practical delights.

Spiritual Goal

To learn to discriminate between destructive criticism and simple wisdom.

The Virgoan Female

If a woman behaves in a way that is distinctive of the personality associated with the zodiac sign of Virgo, she will have a tendency toward the characteristics listed below, providing there are no influences in her personal birthchart that are stronger than that of her Virgo sun sign.

Appearance

The typical Virgo woman:

* has a pointed chin and a face in repose

* the eyes are often soft and very beautiful

* the hair may be long or short but is normally impeccably groomed

* the mouth and lips are well formed

* is typically clean and very neatly dressed

Behavior and Personality Traits

* can analyze situations in detail

* is devoted to her work, usually serving others in some way

* is basically shy

* has incredible strength of purpose

* will pursue happiness wherever it leads

* is pure of mind but not naive

* thinks of herself as more orderly and efficient than other people

* has a delightful, straightforward personality

* does not express her feelings easily

* can be soothing one moment and critical the next

Young Virgo

If a child behaves in a way that is distinctive of the personality associated with Virgo, he or she will have a tendency toward the characteristics listed below.

Behavior and Personality Traits

The typical Virgo child:

* is quick, alert, and an excellent mimic, and so can learn many things in a short time

* gets upset if he or she forgets something that has been learned by heart

* rarely questions authority but frequently questions facts

* is honest and reliable

* is usually shy among strangers

* loves to do jobs around the home imitating an adult

* is sometimes a fussy eater

* is usually tidy, with occasional bouts of disorganization

* gets very upset if teased

* is often an early talker and reader

This next part from the website gives me a LOT of insight:

Bringing Up Young Virgo

Young Virgos will try very hard to please, as long as they know what is expected.

As they grow up they will often find close relationships with the opposite sex very difficult.

Virgos take a lot of convincing that they are attractive people. Lots of genuine praise and encouragement early in life will help to smooth the path to true love in teenage and early adulthood.

Parents should never interfere when their young Virgo begins to notice the opposite sex. Even the slightest hint of criticism or teasing may cause Virgos to withdraw and choose the single life.

Young Virgo's Needs

Young Virgo must have physical affection, in the form of hugs, and sincere compliments every day in order to build the self-confidence that every typical Virgo child lacks.

Negative Factors

Virgos are nervous worriers, and a friend who in some way feeds the worries will reduce Virgo to a nervous heap.

Virgos can be cold and critical, so a friend who softens the barbed remarks with caring laughter will bring out the Virgo wit.

Most Virgos find it almost impossible to admit they are occasionally wrong.

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The website goes more in-depth and I agree with the majority of traits on there. I display the good and the bad of the sign, however with the Libra rising I'm also a peace-keeper/moderator...which has been/is prominent in my life. So, in a rather large nut-shell, yes...I believe it fits me.

Blogging Project - Day 6

2011-04-25T15:59:00.004-05:00

30 Interesting Things about ME

Okay, some of these may be repeats from the past, but if you're a new reader and not obsessive (like me) you may not have seen these!

1. I am not a morning person or a night person, I'm a day person.

2. I have no favorite color

3. My dad calls me Pumpkin, still. To this day. And I tend to call other people's kids Pumpkin.

4. I believe that everything happens for a reason, even the bad stuff.

5. I love my birthday, I try to make it last the entire month, although Trainer only indulges me with a week.

6. I've had 4 major surgeries, two that put me into the ICU.

7. I can play every instrument proficiently, with the exception of the guitar.

8. I love peanut butter. Love, love, love.

9. I did not want kids prior to learning that I cannot have kids. But it still hurt when I was told.

10. I work so I can live, I do not live to work.

11. I love the Fall, you still get the warmth but with some crispness in the air.

12. I have to work at being athletic, it does not come naturally.

13. I believe that everyone should read a contract before they sign it.

14. People that take advantage of 'the system' make me angry.

15. I love the Akita breed and cannot fathom owning a different kind of dog.

16. I want to write a 'coffee table book' about pizza, just travel, try different local pizza and write about it.

17. I love dark chocolate, red wine and black coffee. It's a rich (tasting) life.

18. I love breakfast in bed, fortunately I found someone who loves me enough that it happens often!

19. I love growing old, every year is a gift.

20. I love to read.

21. I love hanging out with my cronies (as Trainer affectionately calls my friends!)

22. I hate scary movies.

23. I am the middle child and have a classic case of Middle Child Syndrome.

24. I am messy by nature, but have a very organized mind.

25. I love buying athletic clothing.

26. I love road trips.

27. I love staying in expensive hotels.

28. I think the worst feeling in the world is rejection.

29. My favorite movies are: Chocolate`, Bridget Jones' Diary, any Harry Potter movie and the Bourne Series.

30. I am spoiled. And I deserve it!

Those are just 30 things. Wow, that is a lot of 'I' there! I hope everyone had a nice Easter and a fantastic Monday. Later Gators!

Blogging Project - Day 5

2011-04-23T11:54:00.004-05:00

A time I thought about ending my own life

Hmmm...this is going to be a very short post. I have never thought about ending my own life. I've been overwhelmed by sadness many times in my life, to the point of not wanting to get out of bed or function, but the thought 'death would be better than this' never crossed my mind. I believe that suicide is a very selfish act. I've known people (personally) who have taken their own life, and then I witnessed the aftermath. The shattered lives that are left behind. I could never consciously do that to another human being.

Plus, as we know, my life is pretty darn good. I've always had a roof over my head, food on the table and people around me that love me.

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In other news, Brody is growing like a weed! Trainer and I had a good night out last night, started at Opal Divine's for some awesome local brews, then went for sushi at Tomo (amazing sushi, like seriously amazing) and then back to Opal Divine's for some more awesome local beer. Passed out by 10pm....sad.

It was a late start to the morning. We ventured out to a closer Farmer's Market...which was a complete bust. Had coffee at one of my favorite bakery's and then drove through my dream neighborhood. We took a flyer from a house that is for sale, I was thinking 'It's got to be at least $350k' and I was wrong. $599,000!!! Holy crap! We'll have to do some hard looking to find a house that is not in shambles that is in our budget. Two years to get there...two.short.years.

Off to do stuff...have an awesome Saturday!!!

Blogging Project - Day 4

2011-04-22T12:01:00.003-05:00

My views on Religion

How to approach this... I guess I'll start with my background. I was raised Catholic, by my mother. My father's religion was Sunday football, which I learned to love and embrace. I was in the 'contemporary' choir and went to the 9am mass when I could drive myself. Before that my mom and I attended the 6 or 7am mass. I was baptized, I was confirmed, and then I went to college.

When you go away from home you leave everything you know. My church was pretty straight laced Catholic, Gregorian Chant was the early mass and what I was used to, even the 'contemporary' choir wasn't too loose. I went to Sunday mass on the ASU campus and was appalled. People were wearing SHORTS and FLIPFLOPS to church!! What kind of madness was this? There was no 'and also with you' part of the sermon, I just didn't get it, it didn't fit into what I knew, so I refused to go. No one cared anyway, no one was watching over my shoulder...which was why I went out of state to attend college. :)

After that experience I started learning more about Theology and religion and found that I really don't care for organized religion. Believing in one meant that you thought someone else's beliefs weren't just or correct. Perhaps that is an extremist's view?

My aunt once told me that astrology was the work of the devil...and that I shouldn't be reading that rubbish. Really? For real? I have more of a universal approach...for my belief system:

Everything happens for a reason.

There is a higher power that I pray to, but it is neither man or woman.

I will pray when I feel like praying, and my church is usually on the road, whether I'm running or riding.

That's about it. Wishy washy? Yeah, you could say that. Simplistic? Yeah, maybe that too. But I won't apologize for my belief system or lack of structure. That's it for today!

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In training news (or lack of training) I ran today, 3 miles with D-Bomb and we did it so we could have coffee talk afterward. I love training days like today! I may actually get 4 or even 5 workouts in this week?? Crazy. I know.

What I believe makes images like this possible:

Blogging Project - Day 3

2011-04-21T09:50:00.003-05:00

My views on drugs and alcohol

My drug of choice is caffeine. Yes, it's a drug. And we all know how I dig my red wine and fancy beer. But as far as being an advocate of drugs...not so much. I experimented with pot in my early 30s, did it 3 times. Each time I just wanted to find a dark room and go to sleep. So for me it wasn't a big deal. I've never tried harder drugs. I guess I just don't like that 'out of control/out of my body' feeling. I like control, I'm a bit of a control freak (and I'm okay with that!)

Each time I was in the ICU I had access to some pretty hard drugs. I was allowed Morphine every 30 minutes. I only took it once. I wasn't out to prove anything, but I would rather feel pain than be in pain and not really care. Does that makes sense? Any surgery I've had I was prescribed Percocet or Oxycontin and I always had most of the 'scrip left over. Just not interested. It's all Nancy Regan's fault...'Just say No to drugs!'

In a nutshell - LOVE wine, LOVE beer, not into drugs.

Blogging Project - Day 2

2011-04-20T12:44:00.003-05:00

Where I'd like to be in 10 years

Hmmm...where would I like to be in 10 years? Alive and kicking for starters. Seriously though, I'd like to be living in a much smaller house about 5-7 miles South of where I reside today. I would like to own his and hers beach bicycles that Trainer and I could ride everywhere together. Mine would have to be equipped with a basket so I could go to the grocery store. I can see us peddling to the coffee shop on Saturday afternoons or Sunday morning and to the bar at night! It's going to be great.

Job wise I really don't know. If I'm still here and growing I'd be okay with that. If I get stuck in this position for too much longer I'll have to find something else to do. I've always tossed around the idea of going back to school...for psychology...to be a therapist. But more than anything within the next 10 years I would like to take some writing classes and get these stories that I've started published. I know, it's cliche' but I want to write books and if I can get something off the ground in the next 10 years I would be very, very happy.

Also, in 10 years (more like less than 2!!) I will be debt free, with the exception of my house. I will have an emergency fund and a HUGE retirement fund started. And Trainer and I will finally go on our Trek trip to Napa.

See what I mean about getting older!! Look at all of these things I have to look forward to! Getting older, aging, letting the years go past...it's a celebration I tell ya! Bring.It.On.

Blogging project - Day 1

2011-04-19T16:46:00.003-05:00

My current relationship

Oh, let's see...I've been married for 11 1/2 year and together with Trainer for 16 years. Can I stop there? No? Really?

I've blogged about my relationship before, I've blogged about marriage before. It's like this (for us anyway) - marriage is work, it is hard and can get down right brutal (emotionally) some days. But, every single step, mistake, trip leads us down this path...a path that is full of love and reward and understanding, not only of the other person but of yourself. I never knew how to value myself until I was forced to look into the mirror. Was I worth love? Yes. AM I worth loving? Yes. Do I love myself? More than ever.

Trainer and I met when I was 21, graduating from college and entering my 'wild' (haha) phase. For me 'wild' was spending all of my tips (@ $40 a night) on beer, staying out until 4am and going back to work at 11am. We didn't hook up immediately, but once we did there was no looking back. We had a connection (albeit completely sexual at that point) that led us from the bedroom 16 years ago the the alter. Life is funny that way.

I love him, I love myself, I love our life. Marriage is hard, it is work, but it is worth every tear, every heartache, every smile.

A new challenge...

2011-04-19T11:09:00.002-05:00

Okay, so my friend Sprinter started this challenge on her blog this past week. She is an amazing person, talented writer and a great friend. I never finished my other 30 day challenge, so hopefully I can do a little bit better on this one! We shall see. Day 1 - to be released by end of day!

Taxes and bike rides are both a pain in my a**

2011-04-18T09:28:00.004-05:00

Okay, well the bike riding is a literal pain in my a**! This weekend I went on a 77mi bike ride with D-Bomb (this will be her nickname, training partner from last year and now great friend!) The funny thing is that our Coach didn't think we could do it, or feel good doing it rather. But we did and I felt great afterward. I mean, I WAS ready to get off my bike at that time, but the whole experience was rather pleasant. Sure the wind was blowing, but nothing compared to our ride last weekend. There were some hills, but nothing too severe and the scenery was beautiful. All in all a wonderful day.

Last weekend Trainer went out of town for training and I started the taxes. Ugh, I loathe taxes. We always owe. We own a house, but the interest is just not enough of a deduction and since we don't have two footed children we lose out there as well. Last night I settled in to finish and see if I could whittle away some of the payment. The ultimate goal is to owe $0 and receive nothing back. The goal was not met, but in some ways it is a privilege to pay taxes. Call me weird, that's fine, but it does support a lot of good programs (a lot of bad ones too, I'm not a complete bleeding heart) and I've known people who have used those programs. But it is never fun to see your savings account shrink in an instant.

This week I'm ready (I say this every week don't I?) to get started on my program. Really, I'm tired of being out of shape. I'll refrain from saying 'fat' but seriously all of my muscle has turned to mush. Blah. I have to get in more than 1-2 workouts a week and start on my strength training again. I hate starting over, but if I don't stop then next year maybe I won't be in this position? Maybe? And maybe this pollen will clear out of the air so I can breathe just a bit easier.

Nothing much to report otherwise. The Brodster is a cutie and he starts training this week. We'll see how that goes. Sprinter is doing a 30 blog challenge and I may steal it, give me some writing inspiration. :) Until then peeps...have a great day!

The Friend Keeper

2011-04-09T10:04:00.002-05:00

Instead of the bee keeper...get it? No, okay...fine.

Way back, like at the beginning of my blog, I think I mentioned that I'm a friend collector. Not on purpose, it just happens. I'm a good listener and it makes people like me, then they get to know me and love me. I love back. This used to drive Hoe crazy. She sometimes got annoyed that I had so many friends. From kindergarten through college and then onward into 'real life' I just accumulated some really great relationships. Every one of my friends has meaning in my life and despite the time lapse...or even distance. I keep those people in my heart and thoughts and when we do connect it's like not a moment has passed.

Last year I had a rupture in a friendship. It was horrible. This person was one of my best friends. A person who I could go to with anything. A person that I could ask advice and trust that I was getting good information. One slight problem. This person was a man. *Gasp* I know...shocker right. Because men and women can't be friends? Bah. We were great friends. We dated EONS ago in college (we know what 'dated' means right?) and continued our friendship after a break of about 5 years I think? We would email weekly, I could talk to him about issues that I was having in my marriage and he would give me some perspective that I wouldn't have thought about. He was supportive of my tri efforts as he started down the road before I did.

We talked about everything. Training, spouses, work, his kids, my dogs...our lives. And yes, sometimes he would start his email with, 'What's up cupcake?' or I would say, 'What's going on cookie?' I never thought it was lewd or inappropriate. Trainer knew that I talked to him on a regular basis. I was very open with that fact. He knew that this person did triathlons and was a newbie like me. He knew of our past life. He didn't have a problem with it, but I think it was because it was all out in the open. SO, what do you think happened?

Right. This person wasn't as open with his spouse and she intercepted an email from me while he was racing. I think the email said, "what's up cookie? I think you should do the race anyway. You're going to be the asshole either way, so might as well do it." Apparently she didn't appreciate it and went through ALL of his email accounts. He unfriended me not just from facebook, but from everything. And I understood. And I accepted it, until he made me feel bad about it. Then I got angry. Angry that he wasn't honest. I mean...we don't have to go into every single detail of our 18 year relationship, but maybe talk to her about perspective and how I'm married etc. I guess he did tell her that and she lashed back that I wasn't happily married if I was writing a married man starting with "What's up cookie?" How dare she judge me.

Eh, maybe I crossed a boundary? I told Trainer about all of it as it was happening. Yes, even the part about "What's up cookie?" and he didn't care. But maybe some people would think that I did cross some line. The worst part is that is was all so sudden. Whack! No more emails. No more support. No more friendship. He emails sometimes to check up on me if I haven't posted here. So I know that he still cares. And I respect that he is abiding by her wishes. I would do the same. I know that. It just hurts though. No one wants to be the main topic of a married couple's argument.

I believe that men and women can indeed be friends, close friends. I have one at work. He's married, I trade books with his wife, and I get coffee with him at least 3x a week. But I learned my lesson. I don't email him starting with 'What's up cookie?'

Anyway, love and loss. Life. I don't know why I had to share that story...I wanted to write about it when it happened, but I needed distance from the situation. And I still feel the same way. I hope that one day we can be true friends again and he doesn't have to sneak to email me a message asking me if I'm okay.

Have you ever lost a friendship? It sucks.

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In other news... Training is started! Okay, so I only ran for 30 min, but more than I had done in a while. Tomorrow I will ride 50 miles. I am getting back at it!! My goal is a 1/2 Ironman in the fall. There. I said it. Shit.

This is family year. Trainer's dad is coming in May, I have my reunion in June so I'll see Hoe and my brothers, my parents are coming out in July, Hoe is getting married in August!!!! (And we're going up to New York for the ceremony. I'm so flippin' excited!!!) Trainer's mom is coming out in November. Holy crapola!!

It's going to be busy, crazy and overwhelming...and I cannot wait!

Going towards the light *explicit language

2011-04-08T08:59:00.005-05:00

Two months...I think that is the longest I've gone without blogging, but it was a good and necessary break. I'll try to make the recap short.

So we know that the shit storm happened from November through February. There was a point in which I decided to go get help. I'm not sure if it was when I broke down in front of the CFO (my old boss) when I was SO angry that the flood of tears just broke through...or if it was every time that Trainer and I went to grab a drink and I would end up crying. While out at a BAR. Seriously it was getting ridiculous. I am a happy person I think. Sarcastic, yes...but overall I think I have a good outlook on life, especially the older I get. I love my years of aging, they make me feel wise instead of just old. I am secure with myself and my relationships...so really I was getting tired of all of this crying and not being able to say Gunthar's name or the phrase 'Yes, my dog died' without the tears. The hardest part was actually going to the Dr., and when they ask why you are there, replying 'I'm sad.' That was it. THAT made me cry too. He put me on a magic little pill...vitamin Z as my other friend affectionately call it. I take a 1/2 a pill a day and I don't know if it is the placebo effect or the fact that I went and got help...but I felt better in just a couple of days!

Just now...like in the past 2 weeks...I started seeing my friends again and exercising. This is an improvement. I'm motivated to get moving again. Yay! I met with my coach and have a plan. Of course my allergies aren't cooperating, they put me down for a week, but the drive is there even if the lungs are not. I'm staying at my current job for now. They gave me the tiniest of raises (but hey, it's something) and more options. But really it came down to economics. I have 1 1/2 yrs left to pay off the debt, hopefully less if I can swing it. I don't need the extra gas expense or benefits or an hour commute...and..and...and...you get the idea. I took the emotions out of it and here I am.

Brody, the new little guy, is a monster, but a cute monster. He's going to be huge. Right now he's in the puppy biting stage, but housebroken. Sydney is doing great with him, I mean he's a pain in the ass, but she is tolerating okay for now.

Alrighty...well, enough for today. Tomorrow's post, or perhaps Monday, will be about the loss of friendship. I have a great story. Peace out my little peeps!

Chapter Fifteen Thousand and something

2011-02-07T11:38:00.002-06:00

Today....today I get to pick up our new addition. It's been a weekend of waiting, and the more I waited the more I thought about Gunthar. Weird huh? I'm just a ball of emotion. Poor little Sydney is trying NOT to soak it all in, but I know that some of it is filtering through to her. This morning I got the little puppy collar and leash out that were Gunthar's, she smelled it and wagged her tail. Then when we went on our walk she stopped at all the places he used to mark and smelled, like she could still pick up his scent. Maybe if the new pup has G-dogs collar she'll be more accepting? Let us hope.

I'm still digging out of my hole of depression. I've never been a depressed person, it's foreign, I don't like it. But that's how I know it's true depression, because as much as I don't like it and am trying to dig out, I just can't. Months now, months of having my tears so close to the surface. I hate it. Truly hate it...and I don't 'hate' things. This sucks though.

This too shall pass. I will be okay. I will. If it doesn't improve I may just have to get professional help, I have no problems doing that. I'm really hoping that the new addition will change my focus. And then maybe I'll get a new job...and then maybe I'll start exercising more consistently! Poor little pup has no idea how much I have riding on his arrival! :)

It seems as though our (Trainer and me) way is never the easy way. Something always happens, most of it out of our control. When everything is going wrong and I feel that the world is against me (and us) I try to give thanks. Yes, when everything feels like it is in the crapper I try to remember that we are lucky. We have a house, two incomes, food on the table and pretty good health, and for the 'pretty good' part we have insurance. So, as much as I whine and cry I do realize that I am one lucky lady...even though Lady Luck does not grace my door that often.

Okay, off to Costco (you thought I was going to say, 'Oh, here's the pizza guy!' didn't you? That was last night!) and then to the pet store to get puppy pads. Let's see if RA has enough patience to get us through Puppy Potty Training. Help me. Peace out Peeps!

My tolerance is being tested

2011-02-02T18:26:00.002-06:00

I swear, every time I convince myself that I can make it two more years at my current job something happens to where by the end of the day I want to go home, open a bottle of wine, order pizza and soak in a tub with a flighty historical romance novel. Let's see...if we're keeping up with the pizza count this will be the third time within 8 days that we've had pizza. That's right, I ordered it. And I have a nice new silly romance novel started, a bottle of wine in the cupboard (that may or may not be opened) and I'm SURE the tub will be filled by the end of the night!!

They say that perception is everything right? Well, my COO has decided that we have to be present AT work, meaning in the office, every day from 8am to 6pm. That way we will be working the required 9 hrs a day to get our every other Flex Friday off. I really don't have a problem with the 9 hrs a day rule, I work that, however I start my day between 6-7am at home working with my EU customers, answering emails and getting the morning items taken care of. But this doesn't count towards my hours. Nor does working on the weekends when the sales idiots have a question and I answer, nor does answering emails and phones during my lunch hour...if I get to take a lunch hour. None of these 'extra' hours count. I'm salaried. I'm supposed to be able to work the hours that get my job done. It shouldn't matter if it takes me 5 hrs a day or 12! So guess what? After my vacation next week (yay for Staycations!) I am going to tell management that I will be working 8-5, taking a one hour lunch and NOT taking my Flex Friday. What did they accomplish with this? A less productive (and now very pissy) employee.

I should be going to the gym right now. It is 22 degrees out (and before you give me the sob story about how cold it is where you are...I know we are not the icebox of the nation), I am dehydrated, and I am frustrated, which unfortunately does not translate into 'I want to work out to get out my aggressions!' So here I sit, getting it all out there. Talking to my friends that I know read this....and maybe scaring some that don't read regularly. I almost called a girlfriend to meet me at Truluck's for HH, but I don't need THAT much wine, fattening food (yes, I know pizza isn't health food) or to spend the money.

Had a job interview today. I really didn't want the job, but I wanted the experience of interviewing so I met the guy for lunch. Then he tells me that he really can't eat b/c he just had a temporary crown put in. So...awkward. I asked about the soup, he perked up and we both had soup for lunch. If I had wanted the job I believe it would have been mine, but I told him (honestly) that I didn't believe that it was a right fit for either of us...and you know what? He appreciated that. He told me that some people would take it just because they were in a bad situation and end up wasting everyone's time. I told him that I don't like to disappoint people, least of all myself, and that I didn't think that it was in me to do inside sales. We left on the note of him asking me to spread the word about the position (which I will) and I asked him to keep me in mind if he ever has a Customer Relations/Retentions job opening, or if he hears of anything else. Networking is good right?

Oh, before I forget....HAPPY BIRTHDAY MS. T!!! I want her to feel special today. We weren't super close in HS, but I really dig her now. And she reads this so she must like me a little bit. ;)

Ahhh, feel better already. Peace out my dear friends...as always...thanks for listening.

One of my favorite lines...

2011-01-30T13:10:00.004-06:00

...from a song, "Every new beginning starts with every beginning's end'...at least I'm pretty sure that's how it goes. I suppose I could look it up, but really it's close enough for me.

Yesterday I woke up sad, I sat in bed for 2 hours crying on and off while watching One Tree Hill. The waves of grief are unexpected and unprovoked, they just happen. I asked T if it ever happened to him and he said yes, but not as often as it used to. I'm the same way, except it lingers...for days. Like right now, choked up. Part of me thinks that it silly to grieve like this for my pup, but the other part knows that it is okay. I think it started on Friday evening when I said to Sydney, "You're going to have a new best friend soon!" and then it hit me...again. Eh, can't control everything in life right?

Here is a picture of the new baby...

Isn't he cute? I'm sure he's going to be a trouble maker, just look at that gleam in his eye! We haven't named him yet, that will be determined after we meet him and play with him.

Okay...let's see...on the job front I'm out and looking. Putting myself out there and seeing if I can catch anything good. So far I have scored two interviews and one very informal lunch/interview. Not bad. Better to look while you're still employed. And at least I have an up to date resume now!

On the exercise front it has been a struggle. Work is getting in the way, hence the job search. I signed up for the Olympic distance Tri in March so really...I need to get on the stick. (Or the pool, bike and road!)

OH, pizza just got here....I'll have to post more later! Peace out Peeps!

If I only played the lottery

2011-01-20T19:19:00.005-06:00

Of course that would be wasting my money. I mean, my odds would go up just by buying it, but really...yeah, I have better things to waste my money on. LIKE - a new puppy. We're getting closer to 'the one' and we should find out this weekend which one we'll receive, when he'll arrive etc.

Okay, so on the exercise front I'm getting better! I made more than 1/2 of my workouts last week and although this week is starting out terrible I have faith that I will make more than 1/2 this week as well. They'll just be crammed in to 3 days. Bring on the doubles! Work is just kicking my ass right now and I feel like I can't catch a break. Paycheck, must remember the paycheck...and the benefits help as well. I should go workout RIGHT NOW, but I'm exhausted from sitting on my ass all day working. Sad, sad, sad. Yesterday I worked about 12.5 hours, left work at 8pm and went to the gym. Did an hour swim workout and arrived home after 10pm. Couldn't get my ass OUT of bed this morning to workout and now I'm tired again. Vicious circle. I'll be swimming, biking and running tomorrow. Maybe. At least swimming and biking. I have a long run Saturday and don't want to tire my legs out too badly...which is going to happen anyway if I do a double tomorrow...so why not go for the triple? Yes, this is how my brain works. Are you spinning yet? Did I mention that I signed up for my first tri of the season? Yep, on March 26th I'll be doing the Champions Olympic race. Again, I should be at the gym right now...

Food is going okay, could be a lot better. I go from not eating enough to eating too much junk. I mean, overall my diet is pretty good...if we compare to most Americans these days. I don't eat fast food very often, I actually portion out my ice cream, I cook at least 5 nights a week and my biggest treat meal is pizza. Not too bad right? Then there are days like today...I started out good with oatmeal and then I had this incredible craving for a doughnut! I never eat doughnuts as they really make me feel sick after I eat them...but one of my co-workers went out and got me a cake doughnut. THEN they brought in BBQ for lunch, Rudy's for those of you that live in TX. Good stuff. And THEN (yes, sadly there is more) I overdosed on coffee today (you didn't think it was possible for me did you?), forgot to drink water all day and when I got home (just a little bit ago) I ordered pizza for dinner...although it is all organic gluten free pizza....haha.

Two weeks until our life is turned upside down. Two weeks until I get to smell puppy feet and puppy breath. Two weeks until I'm up every 2-3 hours for potty breaks and the first sleepless night because the new baby will miss his momma and litter mates. Two weeks...is not a lot of time my friends.

Well, I'm sure hoping that the pizza will be here soon. I'm a hungry, hungry hippo right now. Alrighty, I'll be talking at you all later! Peace!

Inspiration or motivation

2011-01-15T09:33:00.002-06:00

What drives you? Is it being inspired by something or motivation to complete something....or are they linked?

Right now I'm trying to get motivated to get back in to my workout routine, but find myself struggling. I have a spectacular supporting cast of family and friends. My husband seems to know what I need before I do, or rather reads my mind. Maybe that is the 15 years of being together? Does it finally pay off?? Haha. No, really he's great and has been so good to me through this little period of grief. I have my friends are always there telling me that they are inspired by me (I'm sure not currently) and the other friends that try to get me to do this race or that race.

Last year I had a specific goal. I was motivated by that goal and inspired by other people that had already completed that goal. It was to do the Texas Tri-Series. Starting in February I knew all of the dates, had my calendar all set up and had the BIG race pegged for October 17th. I worked diligently throughout the summer, in the hot weather, through the humidity, through any obstacle that came my way. It was a tough year, but well worth the end results.

This year...I have no athletic goal in sight. I'm wishy washy about any race that people bring up. And I refuse to do a race because of FOMO (the Fear Of Missing Out.) I'm not afflicted with this 'thing' that most athletes are, I'm still (in my head) not an athlete! But seriously, maybe it was my mom asking of me (please...she was TELLING me) 'If everyone else jumped off of the bridge would you do it??' And of course the answer was no and it's still no. People have tried to guilt me into doing races...doesn't work. So here I am. Without a true goal.

One of my oldest friends, we're talking like Elementary through HS friend, told me: "I need to read your blog to get some workout motivation!" And I was thinking...'Oh my, if she reads my blog right now she's not going to get much of anything!'

What to do, what to do... Ideas? Anyone?

Oh, and a nice side note - I'm pretty sure I screwed up my shoulder. It is either my rotator cuff or I tore some of my pectoral muscles that attach to the shoulder. Having it worked on right now, haven't seen a Dr yet. BUT this is putting a damper on my swimming progress. I swam last night, did 1hr, nothing fast but got in 1900 meters.

Wow, just re-read this. Very random post.

To be more random - we're getting a puppy. He'll arrive the week of February 3rd, that is when he'll be 8 weeks old and can travel. SO, T and I won't be doing much in the way of traveling this year. Having a 'new born' at home, can't leave 'em. But, we're very excited to have two dogs in the house again. Syd will get some much needed company and we'll be taking the next steps in trying to heal our hearts.

Okay, enough for now. It's raining outside so I am setting up my stationary trainer for my bike (trying it inside this time!) and will pop in a movie. Hopefully the hours will fly by.

Peace!

2011 - A new year - A new hope - Just new

2011-01-04T15:05:00.002-06:00

Yep, new. New goals for the year, new perspective, new appreciation for life's delicate balance.

Goal 1 - Try to blog more consistently! I use this more for myself than anything, kind of like an online diary (sadly)

Goal 2 - Do something athletic this year. A new race perhaps, a new practice...yoga maybe?

Goal 3 - Don't sweat the small stuff. I work on this every day

Goal 4 - Love myself, appreciate what I contribute to life and appreciate my body for what it is

Goal 5 - See more family this year

Goal 6 - Keep on the debt smashing train, we've made it through year 1!!!

That's all I have for now. These are very broad on purpose. We don't make resolutions in our house, but goals...something to work towards.

I stopped training for the 1/2 marathon in February. I thought I was over my little buddy's passing, but I wasn't. I'm not. But I'm healing with time. I still cry, but it hurts a little less. I try to explain it to people, but unless you've had that one special being in your life you may not 'get it.' And that's okay. Trainer gets it, he lives it, so he's there with me. We talk a lot about it, every weekend, every time we're sad. This is good, this is healthy, this is how I'm going to heal.

Work stinks. My boss left the company. He resigned...and for good reason. Hopefully my job will change somewhat this year, but right now I'm just putting my head down and doing what I need to do. I get in at 8, I take a lunch (well, I try anyway) and I leave at 5...kind of...or 6...or whenever my customers don't need me. I guess I'm trying to conform to the 'I am just doing my job' kind of worker instead of the 'whatever we need to make this successful' worker. If you were in my shoes you'd understand. Anyway, stressful.

Working out. Like I said, it's been interesting and I just haven't been doing it. My precious Coachy Coach is working her tail off trying to get me motivated so we decided that the next two months of workouts will be based on just doing it, getting back into a routine, loving it once again. My longest run these days is 8 miles, my most comfortable run is 4-6. Swimming has been non-existent, but I start Masters Classes this week. I go to a yoga workshop tonight, hopefully. And cycling has been a hit or miss. I still love it, I just dislike getting ready for it and riding when it's not perfect out. :)

Any goals for 2011? Anyone? Bueller?

Peace to all of you. May we all have a joyful and prosperous New Year!

Coming up for air

2010-12-08T10:36:00.004-06:00

Patterns - life is all about patterns. I've been looking at my history and discovering patterns. Such as...when someone in my life passes away I become ill. I don't know if that is due to the break in routine of my exercise schedule or just my body's response to grief. Either way I've been ill since Friday, getting better both mentally and physically every day.

Sadly, I think I grieve more for the loss of my little buddy than I did my grandparents. It makes sense though, doesn't it? He was a constant in my life. He wasn't in my past memories, he was present, he was life itself. Not to say that my life revolved around my dog, that is absurd, but he was in the here and now. I don't know if dogs grieve for one another, or if they comprehend really what has happened. But it seems that Sydney is grieving...or that I'm just projecting it on to her. :)

The time has come where I need to come up for air and really start living fully again. I need to stop going home after work with the intention of working out and just sitting on the couch instead. Lucky, lucky me though...I have a great support team that seems to understand.

I have a wonderful husband, who is taking the loss hard as well, trying to motivate me and doing little things for me that I really appreciate. Example: I bought a basil bunch a while ago, it had the roots and everything, I put it in water to preserve it and kept meaning to pot it, never got around to it...but lo and behold it was done when I got home last night. I never even asked. I have a coach who reads minds, as I was stressing about missing so many workouts, and writes and tells me that we'll get through this and to do what I can right now. I have friends, both old and new, who seem to know when I need to hear certain words, who are there for me if I choose to call...countless friends. I am so blessed.

So thank you to my support team, all of you, even the ones who don't read my blog...like my husband. :) I couldn't make it through times like this without you all.

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Training - As I stated above it's not really great, however my intentions are there.

Currently I'm training for the Austin 1/2 marathon and the time I'm shooting for is going to be a challenge! My fastest 1/2 marathon was in 2007 at the 3M Half, time was 2:29. The hardest course that I have done is the Nike San Francisco 1/2 and my time for that was 2:36. My goal??? 2:15 Yikes! I can do it, I know I can. I just need to follow my plan, do my workouts and believe in myself.

After that I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Coach C has me riding and swimming as recovery days during the run season so I won't lose those completely. I have no idea what tris I want to do next year. Right now I have no desire to do any, but we'll revisit in a while. I'm going to be very selective next year, volunteer a lot, but just do a 2-3 tris. One, budgeting constraints and two, I enjoy training more than I do racing. :)

Well...time to get going for now. I'll be on more often (sorry about the lapse in blogging the past couple of months!) Peace out kids!!

Goodnight my little buddy...rest in peace

2010-11-27T12:27:00.006-06:00

It is with a very heavy heart that I share with you that Gunthar has passed on. I realize now how much I relied on him, more so than he relied upon me. He was in every way my baby. He picked us to be his caretakers, his 'parents', his world. He was the first of his litter to venture outdoors, taking that first step with confidence. At the tender age of 5 weeks he chose us.

He was the best kind of dog, loyal and loving and a little bit naughty. He liked to 'help' me cook, meaning that he was glued to my hip looking at everything that I was doing, hoping to get a morsel of whatever it was that I was cooking. He loved to go on his walk everyday, just as he loved to get up on the couch or bed and laze around with us.

You can barely see him here as he blends in with the couch so well. The worst part (for me anyway) is that this happened while we were on vacation. The pups went to the kennel on Saturday, we left Sunday (there is no drop off on Sunday) and he passed on Sunday afternoon at approx 2-4pm, we're not sure when. We had just landed and picked up our keys to the condo as T got the call. We knew it was bad news because the kennel never calls us, but I never expected this kind of news. As T was taking the call I started shaking and say, 'Please no, please no...' over and over again. I was bargaining with God or anyone who was listening, but it was too late for bargaining. He died of bloat, what Sydney had just a few months ago, that we were very, very lucky to catch. You lose them within an hour, if you even get that much time. I just weep for him as he died in pain and alone, not knowing what was happening to him. I weep for Sydney as they've never been apart for more than a few days when she was in the hospital.

It did not seem real. We couldn't pick Sydney up until today because of the holiday. So we just went on with life on Thursday night and Friday as if everything was the same as we left it, that we would pick up both the pups Saturday. It was just before we left for the kennel when T put away Gunthar's food bowl and left only one of the water bowls out that it started to hit me. Something small, a detail that I teared up over, reality was coming fast. I cried silently all the way to the kennel and wept openly as Sydney came out from the back...alone. They handed us his leash and food, I put it in the truck as Sydney jumped into the back as if to say, "Okay, let's get the hell out of Dodge!" And I wept all the way home. She came in the house and could smell him so she checked out all of the rooms. Everything about this was breaking my heart.

He was a great pup, a strong and loving soul put into a dog's body. My baby boy.

The Blogging Project - Day Thirteen

2010-10-30T08:50:00.000-05:00

A Fictional Book

Didn't we cover this? I guess that was 'My Favorite Book' post. So, I'm just supposed to write about a random fictional book? Maybe just fictional books in general.

I love fictional books, they take me away from reality (not that my reality is that bad) and into a dream world. My favorite 'fluff' books are historical romance novels. I know, I know...so typical, but I love reading about London society in the midst of war. I always wonder what kind of standing my family would have had. I'm assuming that we would have been of the working class with land out in the country, farmers or the like. The books are easy to read and fulfilling because almost all of them have a happy ending. Yep, sucker for happy endings OR sequels where we find out more about the characters in another book along the way.

Other fictional books, the Merry Gentry series by Laurell K. Hamilton, I know I've mentioned her before. Awesome books about good and evil...and sex...I know, you're shocked. Um, I used to read Dean Koontz until it was a little out there for me, James Patterson is awesome with anything he writes, Patricia Cornwell...so many, so many... I just finished A Great and Terrible Beauty and I could go get the book to cite the author, but it is upstairs and I'm downstairs and feeling kind of lazy on this Saturday morning. It was decent, I like the content...it ended abruptly, but then I saw that there is a sequel, so I'll have to find that and see how it ends.

I do like dramas, such as Good Grief and Water for Elephants, books along those lines. But some of the heavier stuff I just don't enjoy as much. I'll read it, think about it, but really give me a fluff book, a cup of coffee and a pastry and I'm in heaven.

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In other news:

I had to get new compression stockings yesterday, mine are about 4 years old and have lost what makes them valuable. My athlete friends believe that they understand the compression thing, they don't, unless they have medical grade compression that is for something other than recovery, maybe that's not a fair thing for me to say... I guess mine are for recovery, the recovery of circulation and a damaged valve. I spent the better half of last night trying not to get into the 'this really sucks that I need these' depression. I just have to be firm with myself and remember: 'There are worse fates, you are not dying, you have two legs that are functional, and you live a pretty damn good life.'

Life, gotta love it, I know I do.

On the training front. I'm not doing TOO bad this week. I missed a run and decided to forgo the second swim, BUT I met with my new coach!!! I'm so excited for next season. We met on Wednesday for lunch and kind of mapped out my first 'A' race for next year, which is the Austin 1/2 Marathon. This style of coaching will fit me better, I believe anyway. Warning, I'm about to sound like a parrot that repeats itself! In every other aspect of my life I LOATHE being told what to do, but with this athletic stuff I need a firm hand and lots of direction. Left to my own devices I discovered (the hard way) that I mash all of my training into a small window, I get it done, but then need more recovery and the cycle keeps repeating itself.

With this new training regime I will get a weekly schedule that is already mapped out for me. And I report back and someone is looking over my shoulder and giving me frequent feedback. VERY excited. I'm staying with the T3 team on the weekends and joining a gym. This way I can do what I need to do with a facility that is just a couple of miles away. At first I felt guilty, but then I remember that this is my life and I need to do what fits and is good for ME.

Goals for next year:

-Become a stronger runner

-Volunteer a LOT

-Be very picky with races

-Keep it fun and light - I do NOT make money doing this...I pay to do it

-Be selfish with my training (this will be the hardest one)

Alright, time for me to feed my crazy cold weather loving pups and then head to the new Natural Grocery Store that opened up this week! Peace out Peeps!

The Blogging Project - Day Twelve

2010-10-27T10:07:00.002-05:00

'Something I am OCD about'

Hmmm... I don't think that I am OCD about anything really. I've been sitting here wracking my brain to think of something (anything) that I do every day. The only thing I can come up with is washing my face and brushing my teeth. Is that really OCD? I do it even if I'm three sheets to the wind, always wash my face and brush my teeth. I don't think it's OCD, just a lifetime of habits.

Oh, maybe there is one thing (again, I don't really think it qualifies as OCD, but whatever) that I do almost every day. I re-arrange the dishes in the dishwasher. Trainer just puts the bowls in there however they fit instead of putting them one after the other. It's not efficient or a good use of space so I end up re-doing every day. Is that OCD? Other than that I've got nothing. Unless someone can tell me what I do that would be semi-OCD?

Huh, well, this is a short one then!

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On the training front - I'm back on the horse. I took my one week of bliss and unmindful eating - meaning I had WAY too many empty cals and fat and didn't give a crap, AND I didn't work out aside from walking all week!!!

Sunday was my first exercise day back, a nice (EASY) 15 mile no-drop ride followed by a yummy brunch. Monday was my usual rest day (I really needed it after that brutal 15mi ride...haha), Tuesday I ran 4 mi with D (need to come up with some new names...) and today I hitched a ride and made it to Coach Pain's swim practice. I've been wanting to go to her practices for a long time, just couldn't wake up to do it. SO I bribed a friend/teammate with coffee if she picked my ass up, and it worked! And now my shoulders are going to fall off...but worth it.

Today I'm meeting with my new coach!! Very exciting stuff. AND she's effing hilarious, we're going to get along great, I just know it. Back soon with Day Thirteen!

Reflections...

2010-10-21T11:37:00.002-05:00

My first reflection is: should have waited a day or two to write my race report and let myself process everything. But, I didn't...so here we go.

I recently wrote this to a friend: 'You do not make me who I am. I define myself. I am me.' I think I made it up, but I read so much that I could have taken it from somewhere. :) However, looking at my advice or words to her I can relate them to myself. The race did not make me a triathlete...the months of training did. I still define myself and I am me - an awesome wife, dog mom, friend, athlete, funny (even witty at times) person who decided that racing 70.3 miles was a good idea. And it was.

I like to push myself beyond my limits, and sometimes I choose to do too much too soon. But hey, we have to keep life interesting and it gives me good fuel for my blog.

The race pictures came out last night. I was relieved to know that I wasn't crazy and my left leg was indeed swollen. I was also happy that they came out decent, I was even smiling at the end. If you didn't know me well you won't even see the grimace in the last picture! And looking at the pictures made me realize (once again) that what I did WAS amazing, even more so considering my leg! So I AM a badass rockstar!

This experience has made me stronger, it has given me the opportunity to meet some really great people who will be in my life for a very long time and shown me both my strengths and weaknesses.

Now...on to the entertaining parts of the race:

-I am always amazed by the 'outfits' that people wear for these races. Some people were wearing the bike shorts that they had JUST purchased a day or two before - can we say 'Chaffage?'

- The conversation you have with yourself during a tri:

Swim

Mind - Okay, let's do this!

Body - Yep, let's do it!

M - Strong strokes, remember what your coaches say

B - Yeah, yeah...tpr, rotate, alligator sighting...got it.

M - Hey, we're slowing down

B - Um, yeah...that happens when someones arm is grabbing my leg and we're not on a date!

M - Go, go, swim faster!

B - Look, just trying to breathe, not take in the entire lake, meanwhile belching underneath the water!

M - I see the shore! I see people!!

B - I see...'Ouch. MOFO! (&#%!! Hit in the head!!'

M - We're out of the water!

B - LAND!!! Shit, where did my legs go?

Bike

M - Woohoo, our favorite part!!

B - Yep, let's get into this rhythm thing

M - Circle, circle, keep drawing circles

B - Got it, doing it

M - Oooh, pretty sights...look at that field

B - Hey, concentrate! Focus! Eat! Drink!

M - Be Merry??

B - NO, not merry, shift

M - Uphill, you know what to do

B - Yep...oh, wait, sheister...Hello quads, nice of you to make an appearance

M - Only 2 more hours to go!

B - $(^&#$# 2 more hours to go.

M - Pretty...

B - SHUT UP!

Run

M - We got this. 2/3 of the race down!!

B - Why are my legs always missing through transition?

M - Helllloooo??? 2/3 down,check?

B - Check. Gotcha. Going to start...run...ning...maybe not.

M - Okay, just 2 minutes, get into your zone, we've done this.

B - Yep, I remember the amount of times that I've done this...thanks.

M - LOOK! People!!

B - Crap, people, must run. Ok, shuffle. Ok, keep moving at least.

M - Into the park we go, there has to be shade! :)

B - Yep, somewhere...where is it? YOU PROMISED SHADE!

M - Eat something, you're grouchy.

B - Eat, drink, not very merry.

M - More people!

B - Feet won't go faster, sorry.

M - Come on! People are watching!!

B - Do I look like I give a crap? I'm trying to breathe here!

M - Look, last mile.

B - Oh, sweet, I'm awake now...all good. I'm good. Ouch. Shit. I'm good!

M - Camera alert!

B - Smile!

M - I see the last turn!

B - Oh, look! My stride has returned! Look at my feet lift off the ground!!

M - About time...

B - Hey, doing what I can...

M - Woot! Woot! Finish line baby!!!

B - Rockin! Smile, smile, grimace, smile, cry, smile!

That's all for now. I have plenty more to say and I still need to complete my little blogging project, but it will wait another day!

Thanks for hanging with me through all of this craziness peeps. Next year will be so much better! Wait...did I just say that? HAHAHA!

Longhorn 70.3 Race Report (LONG POST!)

2010-10-18T10:32:00.002-05:00

So, buckle in and grab some snacks, this is a long report.

My morning started off at 4am, woke up, made the coffee and oatmeal and sat down at the computer to check Facebook. It's relaxing and mundane which is good for race morning. I had my bags packed and ready to go. I stretched on the floor with the pups (well, they weren't stretching, they were still sleeping wondering WHY THE HELL we were up so early.) My bike was already racked so I gathered my stuff and left the house at 5:20am, should have plenty of time to get there, drop off my run back and put my nutrition on the bike.

I brought a banana and bagel with me to get extra cals in before the start. Coach told us to eat about 600-800 cals before the start. I had 300 down with my oatmeal, the banana would be an additional 100 and the bagel is over 200. Perfect!

Okay, so this is where it gets 'not the way I planned it' and I sat in traffic for 1hr and 45 min. Reaching the parking lot at 7:05am, transition was supposed to close at 7:15am and I still had to catch a bus to the lake. I ran in my flip flops from my car (which they had us park really far away!!) to the run transition, found my number and dropped off my bag. Then I ate my banana as I got on a bus to the lake and bike transition. Got there at 7:13am to the announcement that the race would start on time and 'Please exit the transition area.' I finally heard that the delay was an accident, and I couldn't believe that they weren't going to delay the race as there were still athletes parking. But, I squeezed into transition, my training friend had put my helmet out for me (thank you!!) and I got my water bottles on. At the last minute I remembered that I hadn't pumped up my tires. I found a pump got one tire done and then went to the other side and it was deflating my tire instead of putting air in. Stressed to the max, I finally got it to at least 90-100psi (My usual is 110psi so I was a little freaked) and left transition.

I was so mad from the morning's events and my adrenaline was pumping, but the good thing was that I didn't have time to stress about the 1.2 mile swim. As we all know, swimming terrifies me and I'm not a great swimmer, not to say that I haven't made great strides within this year. Well, it was too late to eat my bagel, I had never done that before swimming so I didn't want to have cramps and dnf (did not finish) in the water. Got my wetsuit on and saw a lot of my T3 peeps volunteering and already giving us morning cheers.

The swim - I rocked this (for me) and finished in 46:35 (2:27/100), which is better than my normal pool time of 2:30/100!! Very excited! I got my wetsuit down, plopped on the ground for the wetsuit strippers to do their thing (sounds dirty doesn't it? Teeheehee) and off I went. Coach called out, 'She's right in front of you! Go get her!' He was referring to one of my training friends. I tried to run up the hill, but it didn't happen. I got stickers in my feet and decided to take my time, get my heart rate down and relax. Transition 1 - 7:27 (whoops!)

On to the bike. We were told to start eating asap, I waited until 7 min had passed making sure that the blood transferred to my legs. So far so good, got my first bottle down within the hour. Took 2 salt tabs and was enjoying myself. The second hour is where things started to go South. I ate 1/2 my power bar and it didn't sit well at all. I tried drinking water and the stomach cramps came. I kept eating and drinking, but I only got half of it down. I poured water on myself like I was told, but MY GOD the chaffing was terrible. I forget that we don't often practice swimming then biking, need to do this more. The ride started to feel really hard, and in spots where I usually fly. It felt windy, but when I looked around I didn't see the trees moving. In the third hour I started on my second bottle of nutrition. Got 3/4 of it down. Didn't finish my water. Total bike - 3:08:17 (17.85 avg mph)

As I rolled into the transition my back hurt and my shoulders hurt. Very unusual for me after riding. But I took out all of my run gear (we had to keep it in bags, which was different) and put all my bike gear in. I saw T and he was saying 'Go, Go!' and I said, 'I'm trying, not working!' and off I went. Transition 2 - 4:57 (way too long!!)

I started jogging (shuffling) and quickly realized that my quads were toast. And they shouldn't have been. My plan was to run an 11 min mile, as I've been doing 10-10:30 on my longer runs. Well...as I got to mile marker 1 I was at 14 min. I DID stop and use the port-a-john, but that didn't take too much time. I did some calculations in my head and knew to make my goal of 7hrs I would have to do a 13 min mile. Here is where it got really, really hard. The sun was beating down (or so it felt) and by mile 3 nausea had set in. I carry my water with me and it has a pouch for nutrition. I started chomping on these gummy Honey Stingers (tasty) and sipping my water. The really hard part about the run is that it's two loops. So when you're on your first loop the first sign you see is 'Mile 8' and knowing that you haven't even hit mile 2. Big bummer.

Through the park we went, the volunteers were great, thank goodness they were there since no one else was in the park, and 2/3 of the course was away from spectators. I made myself a deal. If I needed to I could walk up the inclines, but had to jog any decline and flat section. It worked for the first loop, kind of. My run coach was at the top of this long ass hill and as soon as I knew he could see me I started jogging (hahaha), but man did it help with him out there. At mile 5 I started feeling really sick. I dry heaved and had to stop, but then kept going. I ran past all the cheering sections and they said 'You're looking great! Almost there!' and bless their hearts I just wanted to bite their heads off b/c I knew that I didn't look great or strong and I just wanted to cry!!

I ran past T at the turnaround for loop 2 and he said, 'Almost there!' and I said, 'WTF would you say that???? I'm just starting my 2nd loop!!!' I was pissed. Which I guess was his intention, except unlike most people I don't get motivated with that kind of thing, I get into self-defeating mode. So onto the second loop. I try to take a Hammer Gel and I have to chew it because it does not want to go down...at all. My clot leg was like a lead weight, it felt like it weighed 5lbs and was getting more and more swollen by the mile. I kept sipping water, had 2 oz of Gatorade and as I reached mile 10 I was sick of eating and drinking. Nothing was making me feel better. I really wanted to stop. But I didn't.

I kept going and ran up the section of the hill where my run coach was. I ran through the park and let the volunteers put ice down my back (THAT was awesome) and walked/ran until I got to the spectator section. I ran it in, finishing with a forced smile on my face (you have to have a good finish photo right???) and seriously was wishing that there was no one there. Run time - 2:48:31 (12:51min mile)

I wanted to cry. The overwhelming emotions of finishing, feeling bad, relief...etc. You get the idea. But my husband, friends, co-workers, teammates....they were all there. I finished in under 7hrs, my goal.

It was a good race and it was a bad day. I finished and I'm proud of myself. There are so many lessons and takeaways from this day. But for today it's just - 'I finished!'

Tapering is supposed to be fun???

2010-10-14T15:54:00.003-05:00

There is a period in training called 'Taper', pretty self explanatory, you wind down your sessions and rest your body getting it ready for the event. Every time I think about the event I get a little sick, yep, still.

Okay, so I took Wed - Fri off of work to rest and now I'm BORED! There are a ton of things I could be doing, like sorting the crap room (Trainer's name for it, it's really the craft room.) I could be cleaning the floors, house, doing laundry...lots of things. What I want to do is go shopping, however we're trying to save money and I would end up buying crap that I want, not need. I could be cooking, but even that didn't hold my interest, last night we had pizza. Yes, I was off ALL day long (all I did was run 4 miles and do 45 min of core) and we ended up with pizza for dinner. *sigh*

Tapering does not set well with me. Today I rode my bike to work and back (30 min total) and I'll go swim in a little bit in some open water. Yawn!!! I've been on facebook all day, uploaded some albums I've been meaning to get to and really just wasted the day. I think I'm one of those people who need to be busy to be efficient. Maybe? Or do you think I'm just lazy? It could be a combo. Restless, that is what I'll call it...I'm restless...but rested.

Alright. Well, maybe I'll vacuum before I hit the water, maybe that will make me feel like I did something today.

OHHH, please leave a comment and give me a story to think about during my 13.1 mile run. I'm going to dedicate these miles to the people in my life, stories will make it go by faster. Please?? Pretty please? :)

The Blogging Project - Day Eleven

2010-10-11T11:59:00.003-05:00

This is supposed to be about a recent picture of me...hmmm, there are so many. Be right back...

Okay, so this picture is from July, not super recent, but it's one that I love.

Not because I look awesome (b/c I don't think that), but because there, on my face, is exactly how I feel when I finish these races. I had just sprinted my way up that little hill to the finish line giving it everything that I could...putting it all out there.

This triathlon thing is hard for me. I think I've expressed that before. Athletic endeavors...yeah, well it's just hard work. Give me a new piece of sheet music to sight read, or a new book to devour...all over it. Give me open water and ask me to jump right in?? I'll look at you like you're evil and slowly lower myself into the water and panic for about 3-4 minutes.

My journey though this past year and some months has been incredible. I've met some wonderful people, new training partners, new friends and found some new confidence. Looking back at the start of this 16 weeks of training when we had to ride 40 miles and then the next day run 7 and then a month or so later be able to ride 75 miles and run 13...well, it's just flabbergasting and it's ME doing it! My race is rapidly approaching and every time the word 'Sunday' is spoken I throw up a little in my mouth. :) Nice right? Sorry, but really this is how I'm feeling.

What have I learned?

That I am capable of more than I give myself credit for.

That my husband does support me, even if it's not in the way that I expect him to (ie; the way that I would do it for him!)

That I have no ambition to do a full IronMan, I won't say never, but seriously this takes enough of my time...I can't imagine doubling up on the training.

That I have incredible friends that have helped me through this time in one way or another.

That the will to finish will overcome the physical challenges of any given day.

And that said...

That I WILL finish this 70.3 mile race on Sunday.

Thank you all for hanging with me through all of this. I hope to get back to the entertaining blogs soon. I miss them as much as you! Peace for now!

The Blogging Project - On hold

2010-10-08T13:45:00.003-05:00

Okay, so obviously I've had little time (or motivation) to post in the last umpteen days. The Half IronMan is approaching fast and I've been training, recovering and now tapering. This taper period is not fun. I like the longer miles, the feeling of doing something significant. Now I go run 30 min and I'm like, 'Why bother?' I know the reason of course, but still...eh.

My bestie Yoga Zen Babe had her baby!!!! Sweet little Zen Baby and she is precious. I got to watch my little Zen Boy while his mom was upstairs being the strong, beautiful, warrior princess that she is - having her baby. Home birth, no drugs, no tearing, just a little yelling and it was all over in a jiff. Or that's how it seemed to me...being downstairs and not pushing a baby out my va-jay-jay.

Update on stats: Born on October 6th at 11:15am, 9lbs, 10oz and 19 3/4 inches long!

Truth time, I'm freaking out. I feel like I should be doing so much more. I feel like I'm not ready. I feel like I'm not going to get out of the water. ANXIETY!! And then I breathe....and the butterflies quiet down a bit. Not completely gone, but quiet.

Alright, back to work. I'm going to be a super slacker next week. I took Wed - the next Wed off. I love having paid vacation time. Peace out my lovelies, I'll post next week.

The Blogging Project - Day Ten

2010-09-17T16:01:00.003-05:00

Okay, so this post is supposed to be about a photo of me that was taken over 10 years ago...however I don't have one! Oh, maybe on FB someone has tagged a pic of me from a long time ago. I mean, 10 year...I would have been 27...there WERE digital pics back then. Where are they all? So here is what I came up with:

This is me, my senior year of HS and I'm with my a'capella group that we named Octapella...so smart we were. I'm the one sitting next to the teacher. I was 17 and thought I was fat and I would KILL for those legs now!

I was a 'goody goody' kid in high school, I didn't drink, didn't do drugs, hadn't had sex. The furthest I had gone with a boy was french kissing and some feeling up over the clothes. I dressed in clothes that would hide my body. Being a curvy size 4-6 I was embarrassed about my body, I couldn't wear junior sized clothing because of my hips and bust, so my clothes were from Casual Corner. Yep, hip as can be....if you are a 27-35 year old professional....haha.

I don't know what I would tell that girl in this picture. Maybe nothing at all. She ran far, far away from home to get away from everything. The competition she felt with her friends, the repression she felt with her mother, the sense that there was always someone watching and judging... She made her way and became her own person. She discovered that she could be funny and witty. She made a lot of friends, hurt some people along the way (herself included), but in the end came out looking pretty good.

Some days I wonder if I'm still running away. From what now, I have no idea. Maybe distance is something I need to see the world clearly. Or maybe I'm just full of sh*t. My eyes are brown after all. Well, until Day Eleven...peace out kids!

The Blogging Project - Day Nine

2010-09-05T10:37:00.003-05:00

A Photo I Took

I guess this is supposed to revolve around a photo I took. Hmmm, should I pick a person photo, the pups, a nature scene? Let me go through my photos really quick and pick something that I can talk about. Oh, here we go, my dad.

My dad is the best, ask anyone who knows him and they'll agree with me. This is all he needs to make him happy - his Broncos cap, a t-shirt, and a beer...although I believe at this point he was drinking water. My father had a rough upbringing, although if you ask him about it he'll tell you stories and just chuckle at the outcome. He was raised by my alcoholic grandmother and was in and out of the foster care system until my grandmother decided to sign him up for the Army at age 17. I thank my lucky stars that this actually happened. I think the Army saved my dad and his future.

My dad hardly ever complains. He was my grandfather's caretaker until the end, and sure, there were times when he was frustrated beyond belief, but he still did it. Married to my mom for 38 years a quite a feat in itself. (Don't get me wrong, I love my mother, but she's a hard woman to live with!) He worked his fingers to the bone to provide for his family, always picking the third shift because it paid more. He was the one that would tell me that he was proud of me, he even wrote me a letter when I went to college. Trying to keep the peace in my family is difficult, that was my job as a youngster and his job now that he's retired.

We have a special bond, I am his little girl, his 'Pumpkin', and I get him. If I can be just a tiny bit like my dad then I think I'll have accomplished something in life. That means that I grew up to be a kind, caring, hard working person that takes nothing for granted and sees the humor and greatness in all events that life gives us. My dad, my hero.

The Blogging Project - Day Eight

2010-09-04T08:42:00.005-05:00

A Photo That Makes Me Angry/Sad

Well huh...I don't know that I've ever taken a photo that makes me angry or sad, and if someone took one of me I'd probably delete it. Let me see what I can come up with... So, I was just looking through my pictures and the ones that make me sad are the ones where I'm out of shape and I look 'fat' in my opinion. But, I've come so far from that person that I really don't want to post it...or bring up those feelings of inadequacy. I could get all political an show you pictures of things that disgust me. But really, that's not what my blog is about. I'll have to settle for this:

Why does this make me sad/angry? Because this young girl didn't have parents that looked after her best interest. She had greedy parents who gave into her whim to become famous, and famous she became and then self-destructed. Yes, she made some bad choices, but her parents were supposed to protect her from herself at a young age and give her the foundation, the boundaries, the moral compass...I can go on and on. I'm not a parent so most people don't take me seriously when I get on a soap box about parenting. Understandable, but this is just common sense. It really angers me when parents take the easy road. You really should have to take a test, get a license...SOMETHING...to become a parent. It's okay if your kids don't like you for putting rules in place! I really disliked my mom for a LONG time, but now I cherish her and understand why she did what she did. Okay, off the soap box...

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In training news:

I got new cycling shoes. They run about $200 (I know, expensive - but they last for 10-15 years) for the medium pair. With my discount it was going to end up being $150. Well...I went in again yesterday (I had gone in on Thursday as well to look and try on since it's such a big investment) and talked more to the guy there. The lady on Thursday recommended the Mtn biking shoes b/c of my pedals (all pedals are specific to the cleat/clip on the shoe.) If I got the Mtn bike shoes I wouldn't have to change my pedals, BUT it would limit my pedal choices in the future.

The pedals that I have are pretty beginner, the same kind of clips that are on spin bikes. SO, after talking to the guy in the store yesterday he recommended the top line shoe and changing out my pedals since I've been riding for 6 years and I could be more efficient and have more power with new pedals. When I put on the uber expensive shoe it was like heaven. We looked at the pedals as well and he recommended a mid-line pedal of a better brand (which happens to be a brand that Trainer really loves and started with) and I added it all up in my head and I told him I needed to go talk it over with the husband since it was a BIG purchase.

Went home and talked to T about it over lunch and he agreed that if I'm going to make the investment it should be in the better shoes and I should really have new pedals anyway, since new bikes don't come with pedals I can just transfer them, one less expense when we make THAT purchase! Went back to the store, the guy looked at me with his eyebrows raised (as in, 'we're a go?'), I nodded my head and now I have lovely SIDI shoes (hand-stitched Italian leather, made BY Italian people) and LOOK pedals. T's mom sent me money to buy new clothes (athletic of course) so I just used that and the rest was out of our pocket...which ended up being the original $150 that I thought!

The knee? Did the Zilker relays last night, it went okay, the knee hurts like a bitch this morning, but overall not a bad performance. I went a LOT faster than I thought I could...so naturally both Trainer and think the course is a short 2.5 miles. Right now? Going to get ready, put on those shoes that make my heart sing and go for a short 25-30 mile ride. LOVE!

The Blogging Project - Day Seven

2010-08-30T16:38:00.006-05:00

Okay, Okay...so I skipped the weekend? It was my birthday weekend after all! (Which, btw, was fabulous and is still ongoing - I take my b-day week to extremes...it's sad really.)

A Photo That Makes Me Happy

Just one??? Really? I may have to use a couple...or more than a couple...you can guess why they make me happy.

This is a picture taken before Yoga Zen Babe and I ran the Nike Women's San Francisco Half Marathon. I got into the best shape of my life and met one of the most wonderful, inspirational, beautiful people I could have ever hoped to meet. We were running partners and became best friends that shared more than you can imagine. She is still in my life and I thank my lucky stars every day for that. :)

These are the babies, not too hard to guess why this picture makes me happy. The best part about this picture is the way he is looking at her, almost like, "Get Serious Syd!" This was taken during their obedience class when they were 4-5 months old.

And this last one...Trainer, relaxed and on vacation in Cabo. I'm sure he had just said something snarky and this is his, "What??" expression and gesture. This whole week made me happy, it has made the past 15 years worth every minute. Not that given a choice I wouldn't have taken an easier road on some of those journeys, I'm not a glutton for punishment after all. But if those heartaches and headaches meant that I'd end up with him at the end of the day, stronger for everything we've been through? Yeah, I'd do it again.

The Blogging Project - Day Six

2010-08-27T20:05:00.001-05:00

20 of My Favorite Things

Not in any particular order:

The smell of rain, especially when the air is crisp
Sitting by the ocean, listening to the waves and soaking up the positive ions
Being told "I love you" for no particular reason
Sleeping in and watching Sports Center in bed, not getting out of bed all day...hehehe
My Kate Spade purse (took me a long time to get one)
Reading books
When I'm feeling down and my puppies come and love on me b/c they just know I need it
Peanut butter
When my dad calls me Pumpkin
Coffee/Espresso
When my buddy Zen Boy (no longer a baby!) yells out my name and jumps into my arms when I go visit him.
Pedicures
Sitting on the porch/balcony of a place near the ocean drinking Coronas at sunset
Cooking and mostly watching people enjoy the food I've cooked
Making people smile or laugh when they're having a hard time
The feeling I get after riding an absurd amount of miles on my bike
Hanging with my girls, any of them at any time, love my friends
Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream by Hagen Daaz
Baths, love them! Wish I had a bigger tub in this house!!!
My BIRTHDAY! (you knew that was coming right?)

Those are just 20 of my favorite things....that wasn't as hard to do because I didn't have to pick just one! What are some of your favorite things?

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Ran my 12 miles, the knee is not doing good. It just had to hold out for two more races. I just can't bend it...shouldn't be a problem right? Have a great day everyone!

The Blogging Project - Day Five

2010-08-26T20:31:00.002-05:00

My Favorite Quote

Oh, how does this quote go...I should have it memorized right...if it's my favorite??? Yeah, you figured right, I don't have a favorite quote. Here are some that I'm very fond of:

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” –Albert Einstein

“Leap and the net will appear.” –Zen saying

“Everything we do affects other people.” –Luke Ford

"Pain is temporary, but quitting lasts forever!"- Lance Armstrong

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” –Winston Churchill

All, have the same concepts: struggles, difficulty, learning, understanding, accepting and the will to keep going. If I had to chose a favorite it of these it would be "Leap and the net will appear" as this is how I've been living my life. A series of leaps and unknowing. AND if you notice, is the founding phrase for my blog - Another Leap of Faith. Sometimes the net is a little lower than I thought, but it is always there, always supporting and enabling myself to bounce back up and jump again.

Sorry for the late post, this means two blogs today...but my wireless wasn't/isn't working and I prefer to write my nighttime blogs in front of the tv so I can be with Trainer.

Do you have a favorite quote that inspires you, makes you think about your choices, or one you just really like?

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Training news - I'm supposed to run 12 miles today, solo. Which about a month ago I would have been okay with. But I've been running with people and you get used to that. So it will be me with my Shuffle out today on the road. I should have gone out about 2 hrs ago....which would have meant me getting up at 5:30am. My alarm was set, but my hand got a mind of it's own and kept hitting the snooze until said hand just turned the darn thing off. Up at 7am, no bueno. Just took the pups out though and it's still a little cooler out. I'm leaving in 20 minutes whether I like it or not.

Tweaky knee - still tweaky. We're just dealing with it and moving on. Everything on my body is in revolt, tightening up and screaming at me...but, I just put on my shoes and go until I can't hear it anymore.

The Blogging Project - Day Four

2010-08-25T18:50:00.002-05:00

My Favorite Book

Are y'all bored yet? See, I thought maybe blogging everyday would get some of my older readers back, but really I think it's made them go...eh, whatever...we'll catch up next week. No? Yes?

I think there are two more 'favorite' posts and then on to other topics.

Books....oh lordy...books. I love books, as in 'Puffy Heart with Glitter on it' love. I've been an avid reader since I was 8 I think, yes, 8 was my first long chapter book. Then I fell in love with being in another world when I was 9. My parents read all of the time, my older brother read and when he was old enough I used to read to my little brother to help him go to sleep. Of course he reads now as well. We weren't an athletic family, but man...we were a well read family!

Once again, I don't have just one favorite. The only kind of books that I don't care for are Horror novels, at least ones that will scare you...because I like the Anita Blake series by Laurel K. Hamilton, and that is considered Horror. And I could do without most Sci-fi and Fantasy. I tried reading those in my youth and they didn't take.

The one book I can say that I truly love is Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I went on a rant already in this post so I won't bore you with the details again, but in short - changed my outlook on life and how I deal with things. VERY healthy book for me. Other books that I can read over and over - All of the Harry Potter books (I used book 6 to get me through my 4 hour tattoo) and all of the Merry Gentry books by Laurel K. Hamilton.

Books that I eat like yellow cake with chocolate frosting??? Historical romance novels. LOVE the ones with great sex scenes. ;) Yes, the dirty girl continues to rear her lovely head! I also love them when they are in a series so you can continue the family/friend line and read more about their lives. Ahhh....to be transported to England during the Napoleon years.

Do you have a single favorite book?

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Went on a three mile run with the tweaky knee and it was doing okay until mile 2 point something. Then I had to stop, hopped on one leg and massaged the knee area until I was able to go again. I didn't walk though, did not want to walk any of these three mile. I came home, iced it and put on a compression stocking (the whole leg is gross and swollen so that may be adding to it) and went to work.

My eating has been crappy lately so I decided to make Crockpot Applesauce Chicken for dinner, I'll let you know how it turns out. I just about burned my rice while blogging...so that may not turn out either. Low-fat, Low-sodium, hopefully not 'Low-taste.' Anywho....tune in tomorrow for my next 'Favorite' post. :) Peace!

The Blogging Project - Day Three

2010-08-24T20:29:00.002-05:00

My Favorite Television Program

What is it with all these 'favorites' topics?? In the time of my life where I'm really trying to cut back on tv...ugh. Again, I don't really have a favorite.

Growing up it would have to have been a tie between Family Ties and The Cosby Show. Those were great shows. I didn't watch tv while in college (too busy studying) or the years following (too busy drinking.) I really don't remember getting back into television until my late 20s after we were married and moved into the house. My favorite show then would have to have been Alias, although I didn't watch it while it was on...I rented all the DVDs through Netflix. We'd have all-nighters watching just 'one more' episode. In fact my pups are named after Alias characters! Sydney Bristow and Gunthar Jack. :)

By day:

Monday - Football or Intervention

Tuesday - White Collar

Wednesday - Top Chef

Thursday - Grey's Anatomy or Burn Notice

Friday - nada

Saturday - nada

Sunday - nada

On the 'nada' nights we'll watch a movie or I'll read OR I'll be getting my stuff ready for the next morning when I get up at o'dark thirty to exercise.

These are shows I like to watch, but it never kills me if I miss any of them. They just don't make shows like they used to! OH, what I don't like?? 'Reality' dating shows. Gag.

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In other news, the knee is still tweaky (I like that made up word.) I'm going to try and run tomorrow, see how it goes. Frustrating.

In fun news I found some OLD, OLD friends on facebook. Good times. I spent some time last night talking to my lifelong best friend who is really more like my sister - Hoe, as we all know her. It was good to chat and laugh and today we talked some more and cracked up over old boyfriends and how awesome our lives are now. Ahhh...we've come so far...and still have so much to learn! Be back tomorrow peeps! Peace. :)

The Blogging Project - Day Two

2010-08-23T17:17:00.002-05:00

My Favorite Movie

Another hard one, not quite as hard as the 'favorite song' topic, but still...I have to pick one? I think these are all hard for me because really - I have no favorites...see #17 of that post. (Funny side note - today I was bored at work...well kind of avoiding work...and I was going through my older posts, good stuff in August of 2008!) Sorry, back to the topic at hand.

Maybe I can break it down into genre?

Favorite action flick - Indiana Jones The Last Crusade

Favorite historical movie (loosely based on historical events) - Gladiator

Favorite Western - Tombstone

Favorite comedy - Tommy Boy

Favorite teen movie - The Breakfast Club

Favorite drama - Chocolate (Hmmm, this probably doesn't qualify as a drama...) so maybe Dead Poets Society

Favorite chick flick - Bridget Jones' Diary

Favorite series - Harry Potter

Overall Favorite - Good Will Hunting (I think...well, I really love it anyway)

Eh, not a great topic for me. I'm so wishy washy with this kind of stuff. But I'll ask (because I want to hear from you!!) - What is your favorite movie??

In other news....today was a much needed rest day. My left knee is killing me and I hope it's just a tweak and not anything serious. Tomorrow is strength training and swimming at night so really one more day of rest before I do more running/cycling. Going through my older posts today was kind of fun, some of them I don't remember writing and I was actually entertaining myself thinking, 'Where did this funny girl go??' Then I remember that work is slowly killing my soul. ;) I really need to get my shiznit (not a word) together and start writing...and maybe actually go to some workshops to hone that skill...and maybe, just maybe make some money doing it....maybe.

Oooh...did I mention that it's Birthday Week???? NO? Really? Well it is. And I'm not too excited this year...why is that? Maybe I'll enlighten myself as this week goes on. See you tomorrow for Day Three!!

The Blogging Project - Day One

2010-08-22T18:13:00.002-05:00

My favorite song

Wow, this is a hard one. I've been studying music since I was 7 years old. I love all kinds of music, really there are only a few styles that I don't like and only because I don't see any musicality in them at all. Such as Thrash Metal...I just don't get it.

I have several artists that I adore, several composers who have put life into my soul. To pick just one song...gah, almost impossible. Well, it won't be a composer because I consider those compositions works of art, and I believe this Blogging Project is asking something a little more mainstream. (However, 'The Planets' and 'Finlandia' are my two favorite compositions.)

If we're talking mainstream music, songs that most people would recognize I would have to say 'Soak up the Sun' by Sheryl Crow. She's in my top three favorite artist of all time. The song is upbeat, fun, makes me want to be driving along the beach in San Diego with the windows down and singing loudly with the music. Here is my favorite part of the song:

I don't have digital

I don't have diddly squat

It's not having what you want

It's wanting what you've got

It resonates with me and this is how I've tried to live my life, loving what I've got and trying to not want materialistic thing (which of course I do...I'm human!) over things that are irreplaceable. Some of my other favorites:

Dave Matthews - Crash

Ashlee Simpson - Beautifully Broken

Velvet Revolver - Fall to Pieces

Wow, this project may be harder than I thought! But look for a post a day for the next 30 days.

What's your favorite song?

PS - The run was great, knee is hurting a bit, but I got 10 miles in.

The Blogging Project and other rambling

2010-08-22T05:53:00.003-05:00

I still have readers!! And thank you for the comments, love you guys too. :) Yoga Zen Babe sent me this 'blogging project' that one of her friends is doing and she suggested that I give it a try - so here we go: 30 days of blogging, I have the topics in my inbox for each day. I'm not sure if I'll start this today or tomorrow, probably today, but later.

Right now it is o'dark thirty and I'm up eating my oats and drinking my coffee in anticipation to go run 10 miles. Since my body is all jacked up it takes it a while to be able to 'go' in the am, and 'go' I must before a run or the consequences can be dire. As in, 'if I don't find a bathroom RIGHT now we'll all be in trouble' kind of dire. I started running with the group, now that I've found my own little group of turtles. We're not the fastest, but we always finish. It's been great. I'll have to think of nick names.

The girl I'm running with today I'm going to call Little Bit because she is tiny, tiny, tiny and so sweet. I met her out on a random ride one day, her group was coming in and I was riding solo and we chatted the whole way in. Ever since then any time I've seen her she's been super friendly and made me feel really welcome. My tri-group has been great through this Longhorn training and it really has helped finding my little niche of peeps that I can hang with.

Yesterday was a 54 mile bike ride on the Longhorn course, that was okay, less than fun, but not terrible. Another girl and I did a 30 minute brick (running right after you ride, no break, simulates a triathlon - kind of) right afterward and that was hard. It was hot and it's really hard to get your legs going, but that is the point. :) THEN I had to come home, stretch and recover in time for Trainer's first Client Appreciation Happy Hour!! It was a success. I had two beers while at the restaurant and have figured out that exercise and booze - bad choice for me. NO more drinking until this triathlon is over. And it's not a 'healthy' decision, it just makes me feel like crap.

Well, time to suit up for my run, I have my running skirt on, my watch and some random tank top. Now it's time to put on the bullet proof vest (my running bra), socks and my shoes. OH, best part about today's run?? We meet at Barton Springs and after we're done with our run we take off our shoes and sit in the 68 degree water. We go to the free 'hippy side' with all the puppies. Not quite as cold as an ice bath, but pretty close. Definitely something to look forward to! Have a great day and I'll be back later to start my project!

And once again...

2010-08-19T21:10:00.003-05:00

It's now the middle of August....two months (almost) since my last post. I'm not sure what happened but I really stopped feeling like I had anything to say that was entertaining. Of course that isn't why I started this blog, but some days I think 'Wow, my life is dull and who the heck would want to read about it?' Out on my rides (that have gotten much longer) I think of all of these things to say and when I get back *Poof* they're gone.

I am getting ready for my next event, the Austin Tri Olympic. Last year this was my 'A' race and this year it's just another brick in the road leading to Longhorn 70.3. This past weekend was my longest weekend of training yet, I rode 70 miles on Saturday and ran 11 miles on Sunday. It was supposed to be 75 and 15, but sometimes your body just doesn't cooperate. All this training just makes you tired. I want to get to the point where I feel stronger! Not happening.

I cancelled my trip to AZ to see my best girlfriends and then watch my teammates race in the IMAZ. It was a fairness/money thing. If Trainer and I only get one trip this year (which has been decided) we should really do it together. So we found a week that works for both of us, Thanksgiving weekend, and made plans to go out of town. A nice, cheap trip that lands us on a beach and gives us some much needed time away from here - together. I guess I was being selfish, not really considering that he hasn't gotten away at all since our trip last year in October. I mean, why wouldn't he want to get away too right? So there you have it.

The pups are good, just trying to survive the summer like the rest of us in the blasted nasty humid really gross Texas heat. It wasn't too bad until the temps reached over 100 degrees with 91% humidity. Can't breathe....which makes it hard to do many other things...like train for a triathlon!!

Well, that's all for now. I'll come up with something witty this weekend I'm sure and I'll try to get it down so you have something entertaining to read! I hope I haven't lost all of my readers. Peace to everyone!

Has it really been that long?

2010-06-26T11:43:00.002-05:00

It has!!! Wow the time is flying by and June is almost over. Just a quick update as I'm about to meet Yoga Zen Babe to go have tea and shop. LOVE these afternoons. Tonight I'm meeting up with Mz. Kitty and her crew, they just moved here from Utah and I'm SO excited. They wanted BBQ so we're taking them to Rudy's.

Had a 20 mile ride this morning followed by a 20 min run. Hilly route and I found out that I'm very allergic to coconut. Kind of sucks. I can eat it toasted but one swallow of the coconut water made my throat start to swell up. NOT good when it was my "nutrition" for the ride. I had put my carb powder in it so I just had plain water in the other bottle. Ugh, no bueno. My throat is still swollen, but I can breathe easier now.

Pups are good, Syd had another vet visit. She's scratching the heck out of where her hair is growing back in on her belly, leaving her with all sorts of sores and scabs. $200 later and antibiotics we're doing good.

Well, time to get going! Tomorrow is another 20 mile ride and then a 4 mile run, although I'm doing the run in the am and riding the 20 'recovery' miles with Mid West Girl. I'll try to update with more details next time! Peace everyone!!!

OH, and a very special shout out to my T3 teammates who are AMAZING and doing the CDA triathlon tomorrow. GOOD LUCK!!

I need to get my sh*t together

2010-06-16T07:54:00.002-05:00

3 1/2 weeks until my next event. Last week I only got 7.5 hrs of training in, I was supposed to be in the 10hr range. You may not THINK that it's a big difference, but really it is.

See, I keep doing these silly things...like participating in this event called 'The Tour of Tens' which I had NO intention of doing!! This was a non-sanctioned/sponsored event put on by the Austin Hill Country Trail Runners (and I do have to say that the event itself was awesome, well thought out and fun in a Ireallyliketobetortured kind of way.) Anywho, the idea was to go to 5 of the hardest hills in Austin and do 10 repeats on each. When I saw it posted by one of my T3 teammates I thought 'Trainer would LOVE this' so I forwarded it to him and told him I would be the support vehicle. Little did I know that I would get sucked in.

I did two repeats (up and down the hill) at this really long hill called Jester (hmmm...yes, the hill was quite entertaining) and then ten at this other hill called Wilke. Now, Jester is 0.8 miles up/down and Wilke is only 0.38 miles up/down. However, Wilke is a steep mofo and this was my first time EVER doing hill repeats. Probably not the smartest thing to do while you're training for triathlons. I mean, yes...hill repeats are a good part of training, just not 12 when you've never completed 1 before in your life.

Sunday - Tapped out man. Couldn't even walk, there are knots in my FEET. IN.MY.FEET. Should have walked it out, foam rolled the calves (that were screaming wtf were you thinking?), and should have done so many things that I didn't do.

Monday - Uh, it hurt to walk to the bathroom in the morning, not a good sign for the day ahead. Did manage to take the pups out, although they were schooled in heeling once again.

Tuesday - Legs better, feet...not so much.

Today - Well, walked the pups. This afternoon I will swim and tonight after work I will run, possibly bike.

Trainer? Yes, he did two of the longest hills and ended up with 16 miles of hill repeats. He looked fabulous on the first hill and not too shabby on the second hill. However on the way to Wilke he cramped up and I had to pull over and shove salt tabs and nutrition down his throat. Thrilling. Really. But he was running on Monday, rode yesterday and probably got a run in. I swear if I didn't love him so much I would really hate him.

Side note - Went and saw my dietitian on Monday, we're going to tweak things, take ALL the salt out of my diet. I'm retaining on average about 5lbs of water and I drink about a gallon a day. SO, out with the sodium. Do you realize how much stuff has sodium in it? It's insane. No more lunch meat for me. I'll give more details about the meeting later. This is already a long post. :)

Peace to you kids out there!

Just a quickie

2010-06-07T17:12:00.002-05:00

You know how I love those! Tee-hee-hee!

Kidding aside, I had a great weekend of training. It was rough adjusting to the heat and humidity, but overall not too bad! Got in two swims, a 35 mile bike ride with the team, an hour of core/strength and a not-so-successful-but-rolling-with-it run!

Stomach issues...well, we're still having some. However I'm willing myself to be completely healed by Friday when I go back to get my blood checked. :) Think it will work? I see my nutritionist on Monday the 14th so this week I'm documenting what I'm eating (again) and taking notes on what is less than pleasing to the tummy. Hopefully with her help I'll be able to get my 'issues' under control and have a good performance plan for the rest of my season! Easy Breezy (beautiful...always want to add that...)

I'll chat at you later!!

It's not going to kill me...so it better make me stronger!

2010-06-01T10:46:00.003-05:00

I never intended this blog to be a whiny account of my life and ailments...but lately, really...WTH?

Saturday May 22nd - As we know I didn't do the Real Ale Ride, which by the end of the day was probably a good thing. I had my massage, good timing as my lower back and side were starting to feel really achy. I believed it was because of the adjustment. I figured that maybe the pain just transferred or that maybe it opened up some movement. Anyway, the massage felt great. Then I had dinner with an old HS friend and his family. We went to my favorite pizza place but I could hardly finish a slice. When I arrived home a few hours later I couldn't stand up anymore, the pain was bad...really bad. I was on my bed in tears and I couldn't breathe very well. I just figured it was a bad muscle spasm or something. Trainer helped me into a chair and we put heat on it and the pain subsided a bit. I slept with the heating pad.

Sunday - Woke up with the same pain in my side. No running. I cooked most of the afternoon for the week. Every now and then I would sit down and put heat on it, but sitting started to hurt as well.

Monday - No core workout. Woke up with pain, went to work, balanced myself on my left side all day b/c my right lower side/abdomen/back hurt. It was a constant dull pulsing in my side, hard to pin point and felt deep. I talked to a guy at work and he scared the bejezus out of me and convinced me that I needed to get the ER and have it looked at. I called my chiro to check and see if it was possibly related to the adjustment, it wasn't. But I had an appt with him Tuesday morning and he would check it out then. So, I waited.

Tuesday - Woke up once again with pain. It starts out dull in the am and then by the end of the day and especially when I ate the pain was super intense. Went to Chiro appt and he felt around in there and he hit a spot and I almost cried...again. He was convinced that it was my gallbladder and suggested that I go see my primary asap. Which was my next stop since I had to get my blood tested anyway. When I arrived there the nurse asked me how I was and I told her about my pain and I asked if I should make an appt. She told me to hang out and the Dr would be in shortly. The Dr came in and started asking questions, told me to lay back and he was poking and prodding my organs and when he hit my appendix it hurt so he was convinced that I had appendicitis. They scheduled me for a CT scan and told me not to eat, just in case I needed surgery. (He was prepping me just in case - WTF!)

Went to the CT appt, they asked if I had already drank the barium, which I hadn't since my Dr said it would be a CT without contrast. I was told that it wasn't up to my Dr and the radiologist wanted the barium AND iodine. Yippee. Not. Barium is disgusting, my happened to be banana flavored and I had to down about 22-24oz of it. I wanted to puke, however my better sense told me that if I did I would just have to drink more. You have to wait 90 min before you can do the scan so I went home and laid down. Went back, had the scan and my organs are clean! However I am still having the pain at this point...not a good thing.

Wednesday - The last thing to come in was my blood work, which showed both above and below normal white blood counts and an assortment of other inconclusive stuff. With the localized pain, type of pain and the fact that it hurt any time I ate and/or drank anything my Dr diagnosed me with an ulcer. He put me on Prilosec and took me off the aspirin.

Thursday - Nothing significant, except the fact that my Father in-law and his wife came to visit...not so good for the ulcer.

Friday - Dr Appt: I have two weeks to lose all of the symptoms, if not I get a GI scope, and THAT is something that I do not care to experience. We're (as in the Dr and his colleagues) looking into other kinds of platelet therapy.

Saturday - Nada. Although the pain has lessened. I've discovered one dietary change - no spicy food. It hurts ON the meds, can't imagine what it would be like without the meds.

Sunday - Ran 2 miles, some of the ugliest miles I've ever run. I almost puked on the way back. Awesome. The best part of Sunday? After we dropped the in-laws off we went to the Saucer (where I drank a heavy beer, less carbonation) and then back home to play Kissopoly....heheh...good times.

Monday - Not much, read a book. No exercise.

Today - Well, not too much. Worked, Dr, worked out, grocery shopped, came home and cooked and now I'm typing this. Which is super long...my apologies. Just had to get it all out.

I just updated my training log with my zero workouts for last week (except my 2 mile run) and I'm a little scared...because I have a tri in 6 weeks. Flippin' A.

Real Ale Ride: DE-nied

2010-05-22T07:39:00.003-05:00

Better sense or maybe the pain upon waking this morning deterred me from going on the ride this morning. At first I tried to bargain with myself 'I'll just do the 30 mile, or maybe just the 15' but when I turned my neck and pain shot through my shoulder down to my hip....let's just say I fed the pups and sat up in bed.

Sometimes doing the right thing really sucks. I'm mad and disappointed that I didn't go, although I know in my mind that it was a good call. Pfffttt...that's what I say. Not sure what I'll do today. Maybe the pool will open and I can get some soothing laps in or something. At least I have the massage and dinner plans to look forward to. :)

One step forward...and then another

2010-05-21T15:23:00.002-05:00

Yeah, you thought it was going to be '...and two steps back.' But, it's not. I took Monday off as my rest day. It wasn't supposed to work that way, but it did. Tuesday I woke up and did my 4.5 mile run. On the way out I was feeling pretty good, my muscles weren't too tight from the race, like I said - good. I have to cross over some railroad tracks on my route, usually not a big deal, however today as I was ON the tracks the lights started flashing, bells ringing and the cross arms started coming down...fast! Holy Sh*t! As slow as I am I ducked and crunched my neck and made it out on the other side as my only options were ducking and going under or going off into a ditch on the side of the road.

Whew! Close one that was. I kept on my merry little way down my route and on the way back the arms were down again...this lead me to believe that the RR x-ing is jacked up and that there was no train earlier.

6-8 hours later my neck starts hurting, bad hurting, but I didn't think too much of it...until I couldn't sleep that night. When I woke up in the morning (at 4:30am) I asked Trainer to leave me the number of his Dr. It hurt to breathe, raise my arms, move my head...well, it hurt to move. I went to work and looked up the Dr, they didn't open until 11:30 on Wednesday, just my luck, but I made it through lunch and they got me in late that afternoon. (bless them)

The Dr. said I had a compression injury, he said it was as if someone squished my head into my shoulders with a violent impact. I was thinking, 'Well, I did get tossed around in the water at the tri,' but really that was nothing too severe and for the pain to be so delayed? I didn't even think about the RR incident, but that is probably what happened. Just moved wrong and it ended up compressing two nerves, one in my neck and one in my back. He worked on me, manipulated the tissue around the nerves and sent me on my way.

Bottom line - I need to work on my posture doing just about everything: sitting, driving, cooking, reading...bah! The really jacked up thing? I am a MUSIC MAJOR, we've been taught to sit up straight with our shoulders back our WHOLE lives! I think the slouchy thing is a rebellious thing. Haha, I wish. It's just bad habit upon bad habit picked up since I graduated ASU in 1995...gawd I'm old.

Anyway, this weeks training has kind of sucked, I did manage to make it to 2 swim practices (I only made it through 30 min, but better than nothing), a strength workout and tomorrow I'm attempting the Real Ale Ride. The Dr cleared me to ride today, although he added that I will probably regret it b/c it's going to hurt. The good thing...I have a massage scheduled for the afternoon and then pizza with friends in the evening!

So, we just keep taking those steps forward, one foot in front of the other. The finish line is out there somewhere.

Skees Greets, Race 1 of 5

2010-05-16T20:59:00.002-05:00

My tri season has officially started. Today was my first event of my season. I say 'my' because there are a TON of tri's going on and my goal this year is to finish the Texas Tri Series, which is a series of 5 races. The race today was a mini-sprint and it went really, really well!

Up and at 'em at 5am. My alarm went off and as usual I was an unhappy camper. (I really want to be a morning person...really...) Trainer got up at the same time (bless that man) and made me coffee and oatmeal. I had all of my gear packed up the night before so there wasn't too much to do, just eat, drink coffee and take care of 'business' before we left. All went according to plan.

Got to the race site with plenty of time to go, I wasn't nervous, this is a BIG improvement. I got my body marked (my race age is 37 even though I'm 36...that kind of sucked) by a fellow T3er who is coming back next week (yeah, love her), went into transition to find another T3er showing me where to rack my bike (next to more teammates!) and then my old lane buddy was there to give me some tips on setting out my stuff. Seeing so many people that I knew was AWESOME! I went to the timing chip people to write down my chip number since I have my own and then I got in the bathroom line...that was really, really long.

At my previous races I never got in the water until I had to, but this morning I did a little practice swim to check out the water, very glad that I did, it helped with the nerves. Then it was time for the race director to go through the course, the anthem and then 'POW' it started.

I was the third group in and I wasn't nervous until I got into the water. Still it was a big improvement over last year. My group started and it was chaos. I got kicked, hit, pushed back...you name it...it happened. The water was N.A.S.T.Y! I gulped some when I got kicked and I thought I would hurl right there...but I kept it down and kept going. I made it through the swim in under 10 min, that was my goal. *300 meters is not long enough for me to have a good swim.

On to the bike, my favorite part. I took over 2 min in transition, trying to get my damn socks on. I'll have to practice without socks... Anyway, I cruised through the ride, not going too hard so I could save something for the run. I was passing people along the way, riding @ 17mph avg for the ride and the last mile I was killing it. It was awesome. My second transition was less than 2 min, a good improvement. *I love the bike..hands down.

I ran out of transition for the run start and was miffed that there were stairs within the first .25 mile. WTF man? But, I got up the stairs, legs felt really heavy, and on to the course. It took me about 5-7 min to get my form and pace locked in. It was only a 2 mile run, so really...not too bad. I finished the run in under 20 min, I thought it would be 22 min. Very happy. *Need to run more!!

Overall a good first race! I was really happy with my overall time of 1:10:4-(something.) My official time is not posted, I don't know if that is because I used my own chip. Not that it matters, I know what I did and I know that this year is going to be a good one!

Back to our regular programming...

2010-05-12T13:23:00.002-05:00

Well, Syd is home and sleepy (we're keeping her a little drugged so she'll rest) and doing well. We have to feed her 8x a day for 2 days then we'll start to transition her to kibble. She's so sweet, I keep getting puppy kisses, probably because she thinks I rescued her from the vet. I'll take it!

In training news...my first race is coming up on Sunday. Holy crap. I was supposed to run Sunday, yeah...well we know that didn't happen! Monday I was too exhausted (mentally/physically) and yesterday I chose to go pick up Sydney instead of exercise. Choices... Today I ran my 3 miles at lunch. BOY is it muggy out. I forget (daily) what a pita it is to run in the hot and humid weather. This would be my 'taper' week, but really...how much do you taper for a mini-sprint?

The race is 300m swim (should take less than 10min), 11 mile bike (should take about 40 min) and a 2 mile run (should take 22 min.) With transitions that would put me at 1:20 or so...that will be the goal anyway. You never know what can happen on race day.

I've already started on my new schedule for my next event, July 11th is the date. It is an 800m swim, I think 14mile bike and 3.1mile run. And it's a tough course (IMO), but I'm excited because it was my first tri EVER last year and I can see if I've improved.

I leave you with this picture of Gunthar looking over Sydney while she sleeps...Love these guys.

Last update on Sydney

2010-05-11T12:54:00.003-05:00

She's coming home today!!! I get to pick her up in a bit and then she'll be home. I'm so happy.

I didn't sleep like I wanted to yesterday, I was probably over tired. Plus I spent the day waiting for the vet to call so she could come home. However, when I finally did hear from her she told me that Syd wasn't eating and they still had her on IV fluids and drugs. That meant another transfer from the regular vet to the emergency vet for overnight monitoring.

Here's a pic of her in the puppy ambulance (notice her colorful wrap that is holding in the IV catheter:

We picked her up at the emergency vet this morning (again at 6:30am) and took her back to her regular vet. She was in much better spirits and was just trying to get us to take her home. Much more like herself. I just got the call from her regular vet and she said that she is very alert and watching what is going on. AND she's interested in food again, which Sydney is ALWAYS interested in food. We'll have her on a special diet for the rest of this week and then transition her back to her regular kibble.

I know it was a lot of money....a lot...like we could have bought 1/2 the siding for our house or a used car kind of money. But, when I look at those baby blue eyes I know we did the only thing that we could have and saved our baby's life.

Sydney Update

2010-05-10T08:49:00.002-05:00

She made it through the surgery and I picked her up this morning to take her to her regular vet for monitoring. She is still on IV fluids and meds, but if she can eat and 'process' today then she can come home tonight. Her incision is about 12-14" long down her belly. That poor dog has been shaved once again. They said she did 'fair' overnight (not sure what kind of scale that is...) and at one point when the doorbell rang (for security I'm sure) she started howling. The vet said, "It was like she was saying 'I'm back here! Come get me!!'" Haha, that's my girl. She does NOT like to be behind bars.

I have slept a total of 2-3 hours off and on through the night. I did a lot of work last night so I'm going to catch some Zzzzs and head to work late.

Oh, and to Juliebean...I would walk through fire for the pups. They had my heart from the first moment I saw them at 5 weeks old. It is an insane amount of do-re-mi, it will put us back months on the debt plan, but I'm just not strong enough to say goodbye. :)

My million dollar dog

2010-05-09T21:19:00.002-05:00

My baby girl was rushed to the ER Vet tonight.

I was making dinner and we heard her dry heaving (I know...gross right?) which isn't too bad. She does it every now and then, spits up some water (because she chugs it like a college student at their first kegger) and then all is good. Well, we checked on her and nothing, she was laying down. Breathing hard, but it's been humid out and she's like her mama...does NOT like the humid weather. As we were eating dinner she would come in, lay down, get up, walk around with no purpose and try to lay down. Repeat this over and over again.

Her ears were to the side and her breathing was more labored. She was getting disoriented. We were following her around, trying to sooth her, but then she would walk away like she wanted to be left alone. We called the vet and while T was on the phone she came up to me and put all of her weight on me. Her whole body was shaking and I was trying to calm her breathing down. Her eyes were blood shot and then I noticed that her stomach was distended and growing. My mind went straight to GDV (gastric dilatation and volvulus) or bloat with a twisted stomach. The call service gave us the number of the closest animal emergency center and we were on our way. Our dinner was left uneaten on the table.

When we arrived at the ER she wouldn't jump out of the car, she knew she couldn't do this and it freaked me out. I ran inside and said, "I think my dog has bloat and she can't get out of the car." I broke into tears, bah! I hate when that happens. The techs were very sweet and said they would help and as they were about out the door T came in with her on her leash. She christened the floor like she usually does at any vets office...but for once I really didn't give a shit. They took her right back and I had to sit there and wait, trying to hold back the tears.

They called us back and the Doc told us what we thought. GDV. I said, "You mean bloat right?" And he informed me that no, it wasn't bloat. You can have a bloated stomach without it twisting, the twisting is what is serious. The heart is still pumping blood, but it can't get through and there is nothing coming back. He said that there is really no known reason for this to happen, although it usually happens in larger breed dogs and the dogs tend to be older. Syd is not quite 6, too young for this, but she's special...*sigh*

We waited for the blood work and estimate to come through. He estimated 3-4k. Well, there goes another year waiting for my bike. (This is what T told me...trying to break the tense mood I suppose.) We had to pay the 3k+ before we left and if there is a balance I pay it tomorrow am when I pick her up. She was cleared for surgery, it will happen tonight, hopefully she's in there now and doing good. I'm staying up and waiting for the call. Then I have to be up early to pick her up by 6:30am so I can transport her to her regular vet. They'll observe her all day and hopefully she can come home tomorrow.

I'm scared. I'm not ready to lose my baby girl.

Shiner

2010-05-04T12:42:00.003-05:00

Wow, what a ride!! 97.07 miles from Austin to Shiner and I finished with a HUGE smile on my face.

The morning started off early. Trainer was up and making coffee before I could even think about getting up, so he brought me breakfast in bed. (I know...lucky I am!!) He also pumped up my tires and got my water bottles ready. I looked through my cycling clothes and realized that I would have to wear tri-shorts instead of cycling short (the difference is in the padding) because both pairs of cycling shorts had holes in the thigh. My bike bag (a little bag attached to the stem of the seat that sits underneath the seat that holds important things like extra tubes, air, tools etc) has a piece of Velcro that was catching my shorts in the same spot over and over again on my 50-60 mile rides...resulting in a small hole....that turned into a bigger hole....that I was not going to risk wearing on a 97 mile ride and have it rip. (Because you know, that is something that would happen to me.)

We loaded everything into the truck and headed for the start. There were 2,000 riders and the first couple of miles were dealing with the crowd. After that it thinned out and it was great. The wind was blowing 10-20mph ENE, meaning that when we were going East we got a TAIL wind! Yehoo!!

The ride itself was very well organized, lots of rest/water/food stops and great support along the way. I saw so many T3ers along the way, and when they passed me they all said, 'Hey!' even if they didn't know me...that was cool. I let Trainer ride ahead of me without a guilt trip, so it was nice not to feel alone on the ride. It was rollers the whole way, up then down, nothing too steep either way (I was secretly hoping for an awesome decent...but not to be.) The scenery was just gorgeous. Since it's been so wet lately the fields were green and lush, it was overcast that morning and it created a mist over the fields. So pretty. The 50 mile mark came up and I was feeling GREAT! I was drinking my nutrition (something I've been struggling with) and at that stop I was able to eat a PB 1/2 sandwich and a 1/2 of a banana. Back on the bike and off we go!

In my head I was saying, "as soon as I pass 60 I'm on new ground" and then "70 miles, still feeling great!" and then "80 miles, the farthest I've ever ridden in one day in my lifetime, check!" and then "holy Shi*t! 90 miles! 90 miles!! less than 1/2 hour to ride!" and then "Oh, there's the camera...SMILE...and I'm DONE!" I did it!! And I finished with a smile on my face. It was a great day, a good ride and a confidence boost for sure. I rode 97 miles in 5hrs and 30 min. Yippe-ki-ay-mother trucker!

After the ride I ate a brat, drank some beer along with recovery drink (note to self: bad combo), and then we showered up and waited for the bus. Sunday I made up for Saturday and made Trainer pancakes and served them in bed. It was a super fabulous lazy day.

I'm in week 11 of the 12 week tri program for Skees Greets, race is on May 16th. However I'm already in week 3 of my next 12 week program for Couples. Yikes. I guess it's 'ON, like Donkey Kong!' Here's to a good week!

Happy FRIDAY!!

2010-04-30T08:14:00.002-05:00

It's Friday!! WOO-FLIPPIN-HOO!

*Officemate is out for the day so I have the office to myself.

*I already completed my 3 mile 'keep the muscles loose' jog around the 'hood.

*I have a wax/facial appointment at 2pm today so I'll be a girl once more!

Yesterday I had a great swim practice. I put Nuun in my water bottle instead of straight H2O and I think it made a difference. Or maybe my attitude made a difference? Hmmm...anyway the swim workout was building by 100s. The first set was 100 swim/drill, second set 200 swim/kick, third set 300 swim/build etc. It went up to 500 and then back down. I had to leave after an hour so I missed 500, but I did do the last set, a 100m as fast as you can go. I have it down in the books as 2:15. For me this is good. I was swimming consistent 2:20s last year, so I think I can bring the 2:15 down even more!!

Tomorrow is the much anticipated 100 mile ride to Shiner, TX! So far the weather is going to be cloudy in the am with little wind. YES! I realize that the wind will pick up and the sun will be a blazin' but the start will be good. If we can ride 30-45 miles like that I'd be stoked.

Well, time to shower up and hit the road. Thanks for all the suggestions, I do favor the all out tantrum. :)

OWS -

2010-04-28T13:48:00.003-05:00

The first time I saw that I was like, "What the heck is OWS?" Open water swim. Yehaw. Tonight is supposed to be my first one of the season. I'm doing this instead of track practice tonight. Is it wrong that I'd rather run?? Getting into open water is a necessity however, and the sooner I do it, the better prepared I will be for my first event...on May 16th. Crap-o-la it's coming up quick!

I didn't run Monday afternoon, instead I listened to the Critter Ridders (not kidding) tell me how they were going to drain my bank account and make the squirrels move out of the attic. You should see what they've done with the place, very classy nests everywhere. It's the creme de la creme of squirrel flats! Anyhow, after that conversation I chose to eat and get back to work. I didn't run at night either, it was 90 degrees. Which is hot for here...for now...like the quarry is cold....for here...for now. Excuses. I know.

I ran Tuesday morning and had my session with Trainer at the gym that afternoon. Not my best session, not my worst.

Lunch today was a treat as I got to see Yoga Zen Babe and Little Zen, he's so adorable. I ask him, "Can I have a hug?" and he say, "Yes!" And then he runs into my arms and I scoop him up and he just hangs on me and I can feel the love. It's the best. At lunch I was telling YZB how I'm just cranky this week. I have no idea why. I don't like it. It's not me. It started with that bad ride, but COME ON..I'm so over it. In fact today we were cracking up at my outbursts on the ride. Weather change? Hmmm...need to figure it out and as Soul Mate would say, "Squash it!" Yes, need to squash the negativity, focus and have FUN with this training.

Anyone have any "feel good" tips? Any special way that you focus in on the positive? Anyway to face the fear in a "Eff yeah baby!" kind of way instead of my usual "Oh sh*t!" response?

And today...I'm so thankful

2010-04-26T12:17:00.003-05:00

I'm so thankful that I have lovely readers who know just what to say when there really isn't anything to say. M always makes me feel like superwoman, Sexy Hippy is always my partner in crime and T finds a way to make what I say acceptable and funny, even though it really isn't. So...thank you for giving me my day to rant and rave and rage.

Monday is here and I about to go on my afternoon run...during work hours! That is what makes it so cool. Running during the day makes me feel like I'm getting away with something sneaky. Although my quads, hamstrings, calves and glutes will beg to differ. They'll actually beg for a rest day, that would be super sneaky right? But no...I need to run when my muscles are fatigued. How else am I going to run 13.1 miles after swimming 1.2 miles and cycling 56 miles? Well...I really don't know how that is going to happen ANYWAY (there is a way, I'm just not there yet!)

Okay, much better day today. A Monday of all things. Huh, never thought Monday would be a good day. I think Legs and Sprinter are rubbing off on me today. :)

Angry Post

2010-04-25T13:57:00.003-05:00

If you are easily offended by cursing or petty complaining please stop reading now...

I FUCKING HATE THE FUCKING WIND! I had a really shitty ride today. I don't even know what the wind speed was today...hold on I'll look it up. 10-20mph winds with gusts. I was SOOOO angry (and obviously it hasn't abated yet...) on the way out. We had head wind and cross winds...meaning the ride in won't be fabulous and carefree. PLUS the fact that you're already beaten down by the ride out. I'm NOT a happy camper...at all. I'm being a sulky baby.

At one point Trainer had stopped, just so I could catch up and make sure that I was okay. And of course I bit his head off b/c when he does that it makes me feel even SLOWER...if that is even possible. Really I wasn't even mad at him, I was mad that I suck so bad. I was cursing all the people that were riding on their way back b/c I was jealous. What I really wanted to do was to stop and throw my bike at something. Lot's of rage today. And no, I'm not even pms-ing!!! I'm just angry, angry angry. Angry that after years of riding my bike I don't seem to be much better.

To top it off my bike is not shifting correctly after I just had it in the shop for its annual tune-up. To down shift on a hill I have to basically STOP pedaling...uh...great, then I have to work that much harder in the middle of a fucking hill to get going again...genius. I only got in 55 miles, just about the same as last week. Saturday is the 95 mile ride. I'm so screwed. At least there SHOULD be people that are slower than me so I won't feel like a fucking beginner.

In other news...well...I can't even think of anything right now. I need to go stretch and shower and maybe sleep.

Friday post...and it's SUNNY...for now

2010-04-23T10:59:00.003-05:00

Yay for the sun before I go do my afternoon swim. Yesterday was a cloudy misty "looks colder than it really is" kind of day. But I still got my swim in. I was pretty pleased with myself. My training is starting to shape up, even with the set backs of last week. Officemate was out so I had to man the ship and that meant long days and late nights and little room for training. BUT, so far this week I have in two strength workouts, one run, one swim (soon to be two), and after swim I'll either bike or run. Tomorrow is a short bike with a longer run (brick) and Sunday is my 70 mile ride down Parmer. Somehow I'll get two of each in!

I've been checking in with my friends through Facebook. Sometimes I don't mind, but some days I want more than just to 'Like' this comment or that. I miss my AZ girls this week. I'll see them in November if everything goes as planned. I'm heading down to help and cheer on the Ironman athletes from my team and will stay longer to see everyone. I want to go and sing silly Karaoke with them, want to talk about their kids and how THEY are doing (aside from the mommy stuff), I want to drink good wine with them and tell them about all my training. I want to sit in a circle and sing as we used to... Ahhh, memories and longing. No singing for me in Texas.

Hmmm...maybe I am feeling less than stellar about my training and want to do something that I'm good at to make myself feel better? Gotta love self-analysis. Well, time to suit up for swim practice. Please Mr. Sun, stay out until 1 or so. Later gators.

Learning to Love....exercise

2010-04-17T08:44:00.002-05:00

Let's start from the beginning... When I was born (in Garden, CA) I had a crust formed over my eyes. The doctors said that I was going to have severe allergies. They also told my parents that living in Los Angeles was going to cause problems for me because of the pollution. When my dad was offered a station change to Denver he jumped at the chance since he loves the outdoors and the opportunity that would come with move was great. The air was cleaner...but of course there were a lot more "living things" that I could become allergic to...which I did. I was on allergy (OTC) meds from the time I was in grade school. Then when I was 13 I had my first major asthma attack from sitting in choir. That's right...I was not moving, I was sitting and then couldn't breathe. I've never seen my dad drive so fast as when they picked me up from school and rushed me to the ER. :) He's a safe driver.

After that incident (the first of many) I got the full blown allergy test and started shot therapy, for the next 8 years. During all that time my mom didn't really want me to play soccer, because of the grass...couldn't play softball, because of the dust...couldn't participate in track, because it was outside. Haha, my brother used to call me 'Bubble Girl' because I was allergic to the outdoors. I got to stay inside and practice...the piano, the clarinet...whatever kept me indoors. Anyway, I didn't have that strong sports or athletic background.

College days, I carried 18-21 credit hours every year so I was able to graduate in 4 years, it was a 5 year program. The closest thing to exercise that I did was marching band. Now, don't get me wrong, it burned a LOT of calories, but it wasn't for the intention of going out and exercising.

After college I was working at Crapplebee's (where I met Trainer) and the only exercise I picked up was 16oz curls! Then after successfully navigating my way through my 20s, well maybe successfully is the wrong word...but I made it to 29 pretty much unscathed, my world turned. I've talked about this before in my Fear post, but not the after, not the daily.

I'm a lucky girl. Lucky to be here today and I'm grateful...thankful and I don't take it for granted. I also know that I don't have a terminal disease or something so serious that it disables me. So, please, this is not a "poor me" post.

I started exercising in 2003 because I had to. At first I was just able to walk on the treadmill for 20 minutes. It was exhausting and my leg would swell up even more. In 2004 I started a walk to run program and it helped. My doctor said that since I have no valve in my knee to keep the blood from going back down to my calf running is one of the best things for me. Oh my...running is hard for me. I am not one of those lucky people who tried running for the first time, loved it and miraculously run a 7-8 min mile. No, after YEARS of putting time into this silliness called running my fastest mile to date is a 9:45 min mile...once. My usual 1/2 marathon pace is an 11:30 min mile. Yes, I've run more than one 1/2 marathon.

In 2005 I started biking because Legs and her husband invited Trainer and myself to ride the MS150, a bike ride starting in Houston, TX and riding to Austin, TX. I bought a used bike for $200 and put about $100 in to it and I headed out to ride. I wasn't good at this at first either. I'm much better now, but after months off of not riding Trainer can still kick my ass on the road. Depressing...but I still do it.

In 2006 I moved to Austin (best thing we ever did) and I wanted to try to find MY activity that I could love. Something that was ME and that I could be good at. I tried sculling, and liked it, but it was hard to get down to the lake and after months I gave it up.

In 2007 I tried boxing and LOVED it, Trainer got me private lessons and then I started at a boxing gym. The jump roping started a stress fracture and I was out of the gym for more than 6 months. I could probably go back to that again, well have to see.

In 2009 my friend Mid West Girl was training for a triathlon and I decided to motivate her on the bike portion by going out with her a couple days a week. I was running at the time too (have to run) and she kept saying that I could do triathlons too. Well, my swimming lesson disaster in 2008 kept me out of the pool. But, I decided to try again and took a swim clinic with T3. And once again, I sucked at this too. And I'm still not much better, but I go at least once a week to practice. I joined T3 and I love the group, even though I haven't made any close ties with people yet (working on it.) Now I'm surrounded by triathletes that all pretty much kick ass.

I wake up with leg pain every day. My blood thinners cause me to be tired if my levels are the slightest bit off, which can be caused by simply eating too much broccoli or not enough spinach on and given day. I don't talk about it because I don't want people to think that I'm making excuses or whining.

When I exercise it's like I have a 1-2lb weight attached to my left leg...always and it's painful. I dress according to how swollen my calf is. And usually 6 days out of the week I figure out what kind of exercise I'll be doing that day. (Today is a run day btw, just in case you were curious!) I'm learning how to love it, the same way you learn to love a difficult relative. Maybe one day exercise will feel like a good marriage, I'll keep hoping.

Yawn...another week gone

2010-04-13T15:35:00.004-05:00

Do you ever notice how the days drag but the weeks are flying by? Today, for example, the morning was a bit crazy becuase I'm on my own this week (YIPPEE!), but the afternoon is dragging minute by minute. But I'll blink and it will be Sunday night all over again! I just deleted my post...boring.

It said that I had a really hard and windy ride on Saturday, only did 50 miles, beautiful...but I really hate the wind. I don't care that it's supposed to make you stronger, it just makes me angry. :) Also that Trainer and I went out for crappy bar food (it really was crappy and I should have cooked) and a few beers on Saturday night before I passed out from exhaustion from the ride. Sunday was a chill day where I cooked breakfast and then spent the day with two of my favorite people in the world - Yoga Zen Babe and Little Zen. It used to be Baby Zen but he's 2 1/2 now! Too cute and he loves me. We shopped all day after some great tea and then I punked out on my long run.

Which meant....I had to run at lunch yesterday. Not a travesty. I love running in the afternoon, well, with the exception of the additional shower. After work I did an easy 46 min ride down the wind tunnel that we call Parmer Rd. and came home and made Salmon. Well...actually it was Steelhead Trout, that looked like salmon at the store and I just pointed...and that's what I cooked. I seasoned it with coriander and salt and it was delish. It was an early night and that is the trend in our house these days. We get ready for bed by 8:30p and are usually IN bed by 9. Now, most nights I have issues actually falling asleep, that will change when my training hours start to get longer.

I'm looking for new blog topics. I'm open to suggestions. Here are some that I'm tossing around:

Learning to Love...exercise ('cause I'm not there)
Personal Question that bug me
Everything is meant to happen for a reason...yes, even the bad stuff
Why, in my 30s, do I have both wrinkles AND acne??
Motivation...where does it come from?

So, those are the things that are tossing about in my head. Care to add some? Help me stir the creative juices? Please? :)

I'm off to help move furniture, cook dinner and possibly get in a run this evening. Here's a picture from my Saturday ride. My bike is the blue/purple one.

Fridays Rock

2010-04-09T16:32:00.002-05:00

I love Fridays, well...my favorite day of the week is generally Thursday because it's the day before Friday. Work doesn't seem so dreadful on Friday. Most Fridays anyway, today is an exception. It's like the whole sales force got lost in a forest and they only way they can get out is by bugging me and Officemate. Seriously, I'm not sure how they find their way out of their houses' on days like this. Today I'm working part of my day from home, I would have been working it ALL from home but yesterday threw up on me and I had too much to do and it was just faster to go in for a couple of hours. I get to do this every other Friday, it's really nice...one of the ONLY perks at my job, aside from 100% paid benefits. That's the biggest perk.

Let's see...last I left you I had track practice. Here's the thing with me, I'm NOT an athlete (in my mind, but thank you M for saying that, you're sweet!) but I do athletic things. I take direction well, I could probably repeat word for word what the coaches have told me. However, when it comes to execution I just don't have 'it'. That doesn't stop me, nor will it ever, from trying and doing...no matter how slow or badly it is done. Track...didn't want to go, I mean I did, but then I didn't. I got stuck in traffic and thought, well...maybe I'll just go to the bicycle shop instead and get my team clothes...but my faithful car drove its way to the track, and I did a two lap warm up, then drills, then 1200m repeats, just three (in the same time that other people did 4 and/or 5...speedy bastards), and then a two lap cool down going forward on the curves and backward on the straightaways. TOUGH! But I'm glad I did it. My abs feel nice and tight and I was super happy that I had come home at lunch and pre-made dinner!!

Thursday was week #2 of swimming. This was my first attempt at the 9:30a class to see how full it was and if it would work with my schedule. I work from home from 7-9a, then take off for the pool (about 30 min away) then swim for an hour, drive back (30 min), shower at home and back to work within another 30 min. That is a 2.5 hour lunch! But then I go to work, and eat lunch there and usually work until 6:30p or so. It worked! Then today I went to work for that time, then left for swimming at 11a, did the hour and 15 min of practice. Came back, worked for an hour, went and had coffee with Trainer (that was really supposed to be my weights workout but I'm cashed), came home and I'm working once again. Well...I'm blogging while waiting for my forms to load!

So, here is my improvement with the swimming in just 3 workouts:
Swim #1 (Last Friday) Did 1000m in 45 min (couldn't do the full hour b/c of crappy endurance)
Swim #2 (yesterday) Did 1500m in 1 hr (still slow, but better)
Swim #3 (today) Did 2150m in 1:15 (getting better!!)

Please remember that there are rest breaks in between sets (kind of like weights), for those ultra good swimmers out there. :) Okay, so while I was swimming (after I was explained to my lane partner what one of the drills was) I was thinking...I can explain it...just not execute it! When I came back for rest the coach says, "I just don't know how we're going to get your arms to open up...*sigh*...this has been my problem for MONTHS now. And I supposed a 2 month hiatus didn't help.

Ack, you know what I forgot today??? Fricken sun screen!!! I can feel the burn setting in. Blah. Suckage.

Tomorrow is a 48 mile ride. I was going to attempt the 62 miler...just not sure about it. I really should do it since the Shiner ride is three weeks away...and is 95 miles. *eep* Ooh, you know what I just thought of?? I could do the 48m route, see how I feel and if good do the 13 mile route! Waahlaa! That would also mean that I could store food in my car as well as extra water...better and better! That's what I'll do. Settled. Whew....now time to close it up for the day and spend some QT with the pups. Peace out kids, I'll check in tomorrow.

THAT time of the month

2010-04-07T13:26:00.003-05:00

Oh no, this is NOT a girlie post...well, it is because I'm a girl, but has nothing to do with my cycle. It was the time of the month to get weighed and measured by my trainer, who happens to be Trainer. I sometimes wish that my husband didn't know how much I weigh...and I wish I wasn't aware that we are always only 3-5 pounds away from each other. Let's not forget that he is 5'10-1/2" and I'm 5'6". Disheartening. Anyway, yesterday I was bloated (I always say and feel that on the day that I know I'm getting measured...I'm SURE it's in my head) but I let him pinch me with those silly calipers anyway.

I can't believe I'm going to put this out there, but when I started we didn't do a baseline, so what I have is starting in February, about a month into training if I remember correctly.
Feb - 31% Body fat
Mar - 30.5%
April - 30%
My inches have gone down body wise and my weight has stayed pretty much the same, only fluxing up and down by 2 pounds. Which I guess is a positive thing since I'm eating more?? Maybe? I've just bumped up my cardio (yay for swimming) so maybe by the end of this training I can be in the mid 20%? Hell, I'd be happy with 25% at this point. :)

Anywho, in other news...I told you I was perusing the web for new blogs and I've found some!!! I follow Sprinter's blog which is fab-u-lous. Fun, entertaining and real. Although sometimes I have to read it mid-morning b/c she's super chipper in the morning and we know that I'm SO not there. But I love it. Then this one caught my eye (I shop blogs by the title...sorry, it's just what I do) because I loved, loved, loved the book Eat, Pray, Love...so check out this one Eat Move Love. I found her on Sprinter's blog as well as this one The Empty Nut Jar, which I love because of the name and the fact that one of the first blogs I read stated that she eats way too much nut butter...HELLO sister! I love me some peanut butter, almond butter...etc. I guess I could have linked the names instead of 'one' right? Oh well....laziness set in and I'm not changing it. I deem all of these the 'blog-diggity'! I'm really hoping that I've made up a new word. How cool would that be?

Shout out to Sexy Hippy who is currently my hero. I sent her a card that I meant to mail off more than 2 years ago. Love you girl!

Shout out to all my T3ers that are 1/2 way through their IronMan training, crazy-ass people. LOVE them though, truly.

And really I have nothing else to say. Right now I'm just postponing work that I'm dreading. It's not even hard work...just boring. Track practice on the agenda for tonight. (I got to sleep IN this morning!!!) Tomorrow am swim, just in time for the cold front to move through...it figures right?

Fine, fine, fine...going to start/finish work now. I'll chat at you later gators!!

Just some random stuff

2010-04-05T12:40:00.006-05:00

I was re-reading some of my older material and I have to say, it was kind of funny! I was witty and entertaining. My more recent stuff has been either depressing or just "blah, blah, blah..." rambling that is really not going anywhere. So, I'm going to try and go back to my previous self, no guarantees. Let's just see if I can recapture some of my story-telling capabilities. Of course there will be a LOT of training crap in here because that is what I'm consumed with at the moment...although you'd never guess that if you took a look at my training journal. I keep saying, "I really need to get on it because my tri is just around the corner...but look at all of these shows we have dvr'd..." And so it goes.

Here are some pics of Trainer's bday night:

This is probably Black and Tan #3...or so. Notice how the pinkie finger is sticking out. Please note that this is not a pretentious thing, but a habit picked up from years and years of torture...I mean practicing the clarinet.

And here is Trainer on his Black and Tan #...4? 5? Who cares it was his birthday!! I took some other pics of him, but I was buzzed...on the way to tanked...and they didn't turn out or do him justice. He's a hottie.

Oh, did I mention that I drunk dialed my old boss...like at 1am? Well, my phone did anyway, it's been calling people lately. Yeah...whoops. And I thought we had fallen asleep/passed out by then!! Also, after getting all gussied (that's for you Soul Mate) up and wearing the most uncomfortable shoes EVER I ended up walking barefoot back to the hotel. :) Yes, barefoot, in the city, about a mile. And I leave you with this...and only because I think it's a cute picture of me!

CHEERS!

Holy Swimming

2010-04-03T09:55:00.002-05:00

One, Two, Three, Four....*gasp* and One, Two Three, Four...*gasp* and repeat. Yes, holy swimming and there was no praying involved. This was me, in my head counting my strokes and trying to re-learn how to breathe in the pool. I finally overcame my anxiety about getting back in the pool after a 6 (or maybe 9) week break.

Not coming from a swimming background (just really learned how to efficiently swim last July/August) I need to constantly remind myself that consistency is key to this part of my training. (Yes, I know that consistency is a key part to ALL of my training, but swimming most of all!) I managed to squeeze in 45-50 min in the pool. Well, realistically 45 since I probably stopped for 5 minutes throughout trying to stall...and catch my breath. *side note: This was the maiden voyage of my new suit, and it was a success! No "that girl" moment! Yippee!

After that little workout I went to see Trainer at the gym and did a 45 min strength session that KILLED my legs. The rest of my day off was spent doing nothing until it was time to do the monthly waxing maintenance. I swear, it's like one morning I wake up and I look fine, no stray hairs and then next morning I have a full 'stache and my eyebrows look like I just came from clown camp!! I know, I know...it's a part of life and being half Mexican doesn't help matters. But now I'm a girl again and I can go out in public and not talk with my hand in front of my mouth.

It is 10am on Saturday and I should be out on my bike right now, however my body is tired and I'm dragging. The team ride left at 8 or something like that. A lot of them are doing 100 miles. Can you imagine??? Right now I have my laptop in bed and I'm watching re-runs of Top Chef Masters. I will eventually go out, probably around 11 or 12, for 40 miles on my favorite route, which means two killer hills back to back on the way back home. Probably with a head wind as well, why not right? Crap, and I JUST remembered that I have to change my tire to my road tire, my rim has my trainer tire on it...bummer. Looks like 12 after all with a good dose of vitamin D! Have a great day everyone!

And...onward we go

2010-03-31T12:46:00.002-05:00

I think this is the hardest part about experiencing death, well not being dead obviously, but affected by it. Moving on, getting up out of bed and moving.

Friday late afternoon was the funeral for my friend Smiley's husband. It was a nice service, he would have liked it. SO hard to watch his family in the front row, the grief was so open and raw. I absorbed it, like a sponge. I do that sometimes when I'm close to someone. I feel and reflect their pain...and I know that their pain is much, much worse. Empathy...I have too much empathy.

Saturday I was supposed to go on a nice 40 mile ride. I thought it would clear my mind and give me some time to reflect. I couldn't get out of bed. Trainer had to work most of the day so I lingered in bed, cried on and off and watched crap tv until I finally got up and made plans for the evening, it was Trainer's birthday.

I had two gift cards left and I used those to book a hotel for the night and pay for dinner at Eddie V's AND buy Trainer his new Oakley's that he wanted/needed. Yoga Zen Babe drove us downtown and picked us up, it was a really great night. I got hammered, thinking that just maybe I could forget about the prior week for a moment. Of course it didn't work, although I am proud to say that I didn't turn into a complete mess at the bar while under the influence of the 'oh so yummy' Black and Tans that I was drinking. I had 5. True pints. 20oz each. Whoops. Guess what though? I had the WORST hangover the next day and that was all I thought about. No death. It was a start.

Monday I had to go back to work and that was crappy. Everyone was asking about Smiley and her family and then it all came rushing back, the sadness, the tears, the horrible reality of what happened. Tuesday was better, I didn't have the mini-breakdowns and I even made it to my afternoon workout with Trainer. Wednesday I finally got my ass out of bed and went to spin in the morning. Secretly I HAD to go because I had dropped my bike off to be cleaned and that is the only way I could get it. BUT, I did it. Made it to the workout, hosted by Coach Pain who runs some of the best workouts I've ever experienced. Wednesday night was a long one, I was at work until 10:30p because of our year end and then last night I got home at 8p after getting to work at 7a. YAWN.

Today I have the day off (YAY working for a company who gives us Good Friday off!!!) and I got up at 7:30a. Not bad for a day off. I plan on swimming this afternoon (first time in over a month!!!) and then working out with Trainer right after that. Right now I'm just enjoying my coffee and perusing the web for new blogs that I might enjoy and catching up on ones that I already love.

Has anyone seen my motivation? Still looking for it... If found please return it to me, I'd really appreciate it. Oh, and I am signing up for my first tri of the season, so really...if you find it...I could really use it.

A simple prayer

2010-03-26T10:41:00.002-05:00

Last night was gut wrenching. I don't really like viewings, but they are good for closure. My emotions were already ready to spill over and of course they did when I saw her and embraced her in a hug. I have the day off again, just waiting to see if her and/or her family needs anything. I'm so glad for this because I'm sure I would just be a puddle at work. I ran while I was in California, we were only 1 mile from the beach and ocean. I love the soothing sound and peace that it brings to me. In the middle of my run on Wednesday morning I sat down, and let myself become entranced by the waves. The tears came as I thought about my Grandma and Smiley and I put my hands on my head. I looked up at the clear blue sky and said,

"Please give Smiley the strength to get out of bed every morning. Please, please take his soul and give him peace. And please grant me the strength to be her rock through this time."

Amen.

A sad week

2010-03-25T11:53:00.002-05:00

So my week started off with a funeral on Monday and it will end with another funeral on Friday. One of my very good friends Smiley lost her husband. I believe it was on Monday. I got the call on Tuesday and today I'm going over to be with her and her family.

I left my family yesterday and it gets harder and harder. My parents, bless their souls, are not spring chickens (although with my mom you would never know...) and every funeral that we attend together I'm reminded of that fact. I spent a LOT of time with family starting on Sunday and ending with yesterday afternoon before being dropped off at the airport 4 hours early. Over at my aunt's house (that she shared with my Grandmother) I was able to look at some really, really old photos of my family, that was pretty cool. I took some for myself of my dad and my grandpa (who passed away 26 years ago.) My little brother did make it out and it was good time spent with him as well. I wish my older brother could have made it, but not this time.

My grandmother had a long, good life filled with success and happiness. She, like everyone, had family issues that linger on for my aunt, but overall a good life. Her funeral was quaint, the words spoken kind, just like her. She took in my dad when he was 12 and turned his life around after he got out of the service at age 20. Thank god for that, otherwise I wouldn't exist. Bless your soul Grandma.

My friend's husband...his life ended much too quick, he was only 37. Terrible circumstance, I won't go into the details as it's not my story to tell. He leaves behind a precious wife, a seven month old baby, and two children from a previous marriage ages 16 and 11. Tragic. Bless your soul and I hope you have found peace.

After tomorrow I regain normalcy in my life, my own at least. Trainer's birthday is Saturday as well. He has already picked out what he wants but let's see if I can give him a little something to remember.

Peace to you all.

Times a flyin' and so am I

2010-03-19T10:43:00.003-05:00

Wow, it's been another week or so since I posted. Here are the updates:

*As I said last post, found a flight out of Austin on Saturday night. My little brother IS coming out, and he'll wait at the airport for me so my dad just makes one trip. We're all staying together in a 2 bedroom suite, that ought to be "fun." BUT, that will keep us in one place and it will be easier on dad, I'll probably end up driving.

*I had a virus in my Pharynx, they put me on a high dose of steroids for a week, that really messed me up...especially when I paired it with tequila.

*My friend from UT came out for the weekend, we had a great time. She might just be moving here for a job so we looked around houses in the area and had margaritas on Friday night at Jorge's. (FABULOUS margs and food if you're in Austin.) However, that night and the next morning I was paying for the combination of steroids and tequila. Eh, it was fun while it lasted.

*I sucked it up and went to see a scary movie. For those of you who are semi-new...I HATE scary movies. My older brother used to chase me around the house in a ski mask with real knives and guns. Apparently my parents thought that he was old enough and responsible enough to watch me while they were out for a couple of hours. I would barricade myself in the bathroom, my room, the cars....anywhere I thought he couldn't find me. He always did. I think I helped him develop his keen hunting skills. However, this scarred me for life. I hate being scared, feeling scared...anything scared. Poor Trainer hasn't seen a scary movie in 15 years. And if he starts watching one on tv I go into the other room and put headphones on so I can't hear it. I know, I know....it's silly. So, I was very proud of myself for going to see this movie.

Shutter Island, it looked scary in the previews. It wasn't scary. A little suspenseful, but nothing hair raising. Bummer. I'm still proud of myself for deciding to go...but kind of a let down. Eh.

*I signed up for a charity ride, a 62.5 mile ride through the hill country. It's been beautiful out, in the mid to high 70s, slight breeze...perfect spring weather. And do you know what the weather is supposed to be like tomorrow??? Fricken thunder storms and a 70% chance of rain...IN.THE.MORNING. So, the ride may be postponed, which changes my plans since I have to board a flight Saturday late in the day. I need time to get the swelling down in the left gargantuan leg before the flight, which means an hour or more of putting my leg up in the air. What are the chances? Oh...and they say that it is going to be breezy and in Austin that translates into 'a wall of wind' that will change direction so you will have a head wind most of the way. If it's nice out today maybe I'll go out on Parmer and do at least 30.

*I'm getting my hair cut today. Yes, I'm trying to grow it out for Tri-season. I don't know...I look terrible with long hair, but to be able to pull it back would be great. I thought about just getting the bangs trimmed, but it's a mess. And no one wants to go see family looking all crazy. I haven't seen some of these people in 24 years. I was 12. So, I need to look decent.

That about wraps it up. Sorry for the long post. If I don't chat with you tomorrow everyone have a great weekend and I'll report back next week. Peace out Peeps!

What the....

2010-03-09T07:39:00.002-06:00

I'm sick. As in can't swallow anything but warm fluids sick. I'm going to see if I can get in to the Dr early today and make sure it's not something contagious. One of my best friends is coming out to visit me this weekend and the weekend after that I am flying to CA (found a flight!!! the last of two tickets!) for my grandmother's funeral services....it's also our end of quarter/fiscal year. NOT A GOOD TIME TO BE SICK!

I'll be hitting Sprouts for some Emergen-c today, drinking a lot of fluids and hopefully taking some antibiotics by night time to kick this out of my body. I have to make it to spin tomorrow, my bike is at the PTC (Performance Training Center that T3 uses for spin/core/yoga/seminars...everything) since I did spin yesterday.

A super big shout out to Sports Mama today, it's her b-day and since she's the one who inspired me to write a blog...well, you can blame her....

Anyway, Happy Birthday! You're an amazing person, valued friend and move to Texas. Wait, did that just slip out? Happy Birthday gorgeous!

A knock at the door

2010-03-06T08:10:00.002-06:00

I received a call from my dad yesterday afternoon. The feeling I got when the phone was ringing wasn't a good one. I let the call go to voicemail as I was driving and couldn't answer in time. My dad's speech was broken as he tried to tell me that my grandma (his step-mother who was in all rights our paternal grandmother) has passed away. She was 83 or 84 and becoming increasingly depressed and frail. She wasn't ill, but I suppose she just didn't want to live anymore.

I'm fighting the emotions. Should I be really upset? I think the hardest part for me is what it has always been...seeing my dad hurting. He's my person, I'm his Pumpkin. When I called back he struggled again and my heart just broke. He told me that the services will be on the 22nd of March since my aunt cannot make it to California until then. She will be buried next to my grandfather who passed away back when I was only 12 years old. He told me that he'd send me the address if I wished to send anything and I assured him that I'll be there. In person.

Now I'm trying to figure out how to get to CA on the 21st, all the flights are sold out going OUT of Austin because it is the final day of SXSW, the film and music festival. Trainer told me to use our free ticket, but the times and dates are blocked out, can't use it. If I go the day before I'll be breaking commitments that I've already made. I KNOW that no commitment is greater than my family's need....so we'll just have to wait and see. What channels can I go through to get out of Austin without spending a fortune??

My little brother is going to be coming to CA as well, I hope he does. My older brother can't make it. Trainer won't be coming either, it's just not feasible. I'm lucky that I'll be able to go.

This morning it was hard to wake up, I just wanted to roll over, and after waking I just wanted to stay in bed. Today I'm going over to a sports club close to my house for a fitness expo. I'll be there exercising for several hours. Hopefully that will put some endorphins into my body...make me feel better...pull me up while the quicksand of depression is just hovering. Death. It sucks.

Rockin' the track!

2010-03-04T11:46:00.004-06:00

Okay, so I've told you how much I love my track workouts right? LOVE them! Last night was no different. I trudged through rush hour traffic to get to the track a couple of minutes late, but still was able to get in my 7 min warm up. Have I ranted about traffic lately?? I know, it's relative...Phoenix was so much worse. Anywhoo...

Last night's workout was the ladder work out, sometimes you go up and sometimes you go down. Usually with the shorter distance you're pushing to go faster, but not in this work out. We started with the 400 meter at half marathon pace, then the 800 at 10k pace and then 1200 at...well, faster than the last and finally the 1600 (MILE!) at 5k pace. I ran with this awesome lady who's nickname is Underdog (a play off her last name) and we did 9:50 for the mile. It.Was.Awesome.

Some people would say, "Well, that's not really that fast." But for me it is. The last time I ran a mile pace that had a 9 at the beginning was 2005 with YZB. Needless to say I was stoked. The first track practice that I went to with T3 my mile was 10:53, so I'll be curious what happens at the next mile repeat night. WOOHOO!!! (I know, it's sick and wrong to be excited about track, what can I say?)

All the while we were running around the track we were cheering on the other runners and on our last two laps we had the best support. THIS is why I joined this group. 99.9% of the people are awesome, funny and supportive. I know that when I'm struggling to run the last two (to ten!) miles of my triathlon they will be out there for me, cheering me on and making me smile through the pain.

So, my lovely friends and blogger peeps, no need to fly to Austin to kick some booty, all is well. I mean, you can come down and we'll get our 'silly' on...that would be cool. But, thanks for offering...I know you always have my back.

I was asked why my hands were so messed up after changing my tire. Well, for two reasons really...1. I have a new tire, very inflexible, and I suck at changing tires AND 2. I think I have thin skin, it tears and cuts easily. I don't know if the blood thinners have anything to do with it. Probably not, it just makes me bleed longer. :) I know, gross right? Well, I'm doing this at work (Slacker McSlackerson!) so I'd best be going for now.

Effin' People

2010-03-01T16:53:00.002-06:00

It was either that title or "I hate People," which I don't...most of the time...and hate is a really strong word. I digress.

This weekend was pretty cool. I did the HH thing on Friday, it was cold and there were some people inside and some outside. Generally friendly crowd, I just stayed for 1 bevo as I knew I had to get up early in the am for the group ride. I was really looking forward to the ride because it's one of my favorite routes.

Got up, made it there with time to spare and was trying to talk to people in the parking lot, most were cool. The ride was great, my legs felt really good, I averaged 16.4 and rode by myself pretty much the whole way. I'm an in-betweener, not fast but not too slow. When I was in riding shape I was up around 18mph for that ride, but I'm working back towards it and was happy with how I did. Now, when I got back to the parking lot there was a small group of girls gathered and I rode up. I had been to HH with one of them about a month back, had talked to another after swim practice and they weren't talking about anything privately. One of the girls (the one I had gone to HH with a month back) just didn't acknowledge me, completely ignored me and almost made an effort to make me feel uncomfortable. Blatant. That's what it was.

I get that there are long standing relationships within this group. I get that not everyone is going to be like, "Hey, welcome to the group!" and be all cheerful. However I felt that she was being very rude (on purpose) and unwelcoming. Who knows, maybe this girl and I will eventually become friends...maybe...one day far far away. I can be a bitch, I know that about myself, but when I first meet someone I don't put all those cards out on the table. You have to be liked before any of that is funny. It's just disappointing I guess. Maybe they didn't recognize me, I seem to be unforgettable these days. People that I've met 3 or 4 times over these past 5 months ask me if I'm new...like every week. Eh, Eff it.

Saturday late afternoon/evening Trainer and I headed out for a beer...or two. I had my favorite of the month - Young's Double Chocolate Stout (be still my heart!) and we munched on some tasty eats. It wasn't healthy by any means, but it was a good time. We came home, drank a little more, stayed up too late once again on a Saturday night and slept in on Sunday morning. I woke up, made a fantabulous breakfast (egg and veggie scramble with a side of whole wheat raspberry pancakes), had a hangover lunch, watched movies all day and then ended with roasted chicken....and chocolate chip cookies. Whoops.

I had to change out my bike tube AGAIN, when I took it out of the truck the back tire was flat. Thank GAWD it didn't pop on the ride, there were no shoulders to the road. My fingers are all cut up from the change and then this morning I decided not to go to spin until I get the training tire. Otherwise I'll be spending big bucks on tires all year...and changing flats.

Today I ran 3 miles...STRAIGHT! That's right people, 30 min of running with no walk breaks. Hills, declines and flats were all included. Tonight I'll need to foam roll it out and stretch really good. The return may be slower than slow, but I'm coming back baby!!

It's Beer:30

2010-02-26T15:25:00.002-06:00

Ok, well...it's really only 4:20p, but beer time is getting close. Tonight I'm going to HH with the T3 crowd, this will be my first one with them. Trainer is training Brassy and then she's coming over to give him a massage so I'm flying solo. Eh, hopefully my mingling skills haven't completely lost me.

It was SUCH a nice day in the office, quiet, steady...nice.

OH, I had my lunch with Sprinter! She put all of my data into her handy little system and the results were the same...not eating enough. This is the theory as to why I'm so tired. So this week I have been doing what I was told, eating more and eating earlier. My dinners are late, but have no starch or very little if I need it. I'm not sure of what it's going to do with the Coumadin, but I'll check that out in a couple of weeks. Here's a sample of my day:

Breakfast - 400-450 cals (depending on workouts)
Oatmeal with peanut butter or vanilla yogurt (I put these IN the oatmeal)
Piece of fruit
OR
2 eggs + 1 cup of veggies + starch (beans or grain) and a piece of toast (with PB if I don't have the starch

Snack - 200 cals
Fruit + cheese or yogurt or cottage cheese

Lunch - 450-500 cals (biggest meal of the day)
Leftovers WITH the starch (pasta, beans, rice etc) with salad
or
Turkey sandwich with salad or fruit

Snack - 200 cals
Veggies + hummus + turkey

Dinner - 400 cals
1/2 plate made up of salad 1/4 lean protein and if I need it 1/8 starch and if not 1/4 veggie

Snack - IF needed
1oz dark chocolate

I haven't needed the snack after dinner and for me it's better if I don't even start on the chocolate. It's a "none is better than one" item for me. So far I've had more energy in the mornings this way...even though I still haven't made it to the 5:45am swim. Now that I have my food down AND a cool new suit I'll be trying it next week. 30 min to go people...30 min. And no, I haven't figured out how the beer fits in yet, but I will...oh...I will.

A new suit!!!

2010-02-25T18:04:00.009-06:00

Today was a pretty cool day. Well, I mean work was 'eh, work' but the rest of the day was good. Tomorrow I get the office to myself as Officemate has her Friday 'work from home' day. Last week a girl from T3 told the group about a website that was selling swim suits for $25. Now if you've actually gone shopping for 'swimming' swim suits (not the 'I really want to look cute at the beach' swim suits) you'll find that the lamest Speedo's run about $50-$60. I've been needing a new suit (maybe this will motivate me to get IN the pool) so this was good timing.

What do you think? And I'm telling you that I've made HUGE strides with my self-esteem to be even posting these pictures. Yay me!

As you can see I'm a little chubs , but we're working on it! It is one size smaller than my last practice suit. Oh, and the reason that it is so cheap is that you don't get to pick it...just the size and they send you whatever. They didn't have my size in the Speedo so I picked a Nike suit. I'll have to re-establish my tan lines as this suit is a little lower in the back (you can see more of my tat!!) and the straps are thinner. And no...I am not TRYING to get a tan, I wear sun screen, a lot it. The fact that I am half Mexican just makes it easier to get and keep color...as I haven't been in the pool in a few months where the sun was shining.

And here is a favorite picture of mine....he's so darn sweet...

In other news today:

I am not eating enough. That's right. Not enough. That is why I am staying the same weight as I move it and shake it along the tri-course. So, I've altered what I'm eating and when I'm eating. Out with the candy though. It's just not good for me and does nothing as far as fuel for my body. Now...the occasional scone with YZB I will not give up. That's more than fuel, it's food for my soul. :) Peace out peeps! Time to make din-din!

Oh Mr Sun how I love thee

2010-02-21T20:08:00.002-06:00

It was sunny today, and warm! (bonus!) It's amazing what a difference it made in my overall attitude.

The weather has really been challenging my will to train. I still haven't put on a swim suit, it's been over 2 weeks. Just thinking about putting on my suit in the 30 degree weather keeps me in bed. I did just 'okay' with my training this week. I went to spin once, strength trained once, ran twice but did manage to ride outside both yesterday (in crappy weather) and again today (in AWESOME weather!) Still...no swimming.

Trainer and I went out for a beer yesterday, it's been a while since we'd been out. You remember...all of this financial planning stuff cutting into all sorts of fun stuff that we used to do! (But it will ALL be worth it in the end, when we're debt free.) We had yummy food and strong beer, then went home to drink more beer, stayed up way too late talking about life and had some fun between the sheets before we both passed out. Good stuff.

Not much else to report. I had a lot to say, but it's all escaped me for the time. I hate it when that happens. Later gators.

Valentine's day post

2010-02-14T09:40:00.002-06:00

Okay, I hate Valentine's day, always have, always will. It's such a corporate holiday that guilts people into spending money on crap to show their love for someone. I'd rather show it all year and be shown in surprising ways. I know...I know, a ton of people love it, and it IS fun for kids. But whatever, I hate it. So...Happy Crappy Day peeps!

This morning I went downtown at 5:30am to support Trainer on his run. He ran a 1/2 marathon this morning and I have to say he kicked some ass. I LOVE supporting him at his races, especially if they are designed well and I can see him ON the course in several places instead of just the start and finish line. Really, that is when the runner needs you the least. There are a ton of people there cheering, where they really need you is half way through and towards the end, when it seems like the race is going to go forever and the hills feel like they are getting longer and steeper as you climb. This is where I station myself. Mile 6-7 and mile 12 towards the top of the hill. I shout things like, "Great job! Keep it up! Looking strong" at the midway point and, "Pick it UP Trainer!! Stay strong! Finish STRONG! Go, Go, GO!!!" And it seems to benefit him in some way. It's fun for me to be in that atmosphere and I get this great swell of pride when I see him running strong, determined face, muscles are working and seeing that running is just as natural to him as breathing.

The funny thing is, if it's a race for him I don't mind the cold or getting up early. I love being the support team. I love feeling like I'm an integral part of his run (in my head anyway!) I just look at him running and love him, for everything he is and the happiness just about bursts out of my body. Now, for my own races I loathe getting up in the morning, the tediousness of getting everything ready, the nerves...ugh. But his races...love them!

My January and February have been filled with inconsistent training. MWG asked me how it was going...and I told the truth...crappy. It's been so cold here (for Texas people) that I haven't wanted to get in the pool. I know it's heated, but it's still outside and there is still a five minute window when I have to be unclothed and COLD AS HELL before I get into said warm water. And cycling with the team has gone to pot as well, I meant it when I said I wouldn't ride unless it was 45 out. Or I'd even go if it was 40! Yesterday? 37 by 9am. Didn't go. I rode by myself at 4:30p, when it was 50. I got a flat tire on my way out so I only did 13 miles (I had planned for 30), but was doubly happy that I didn't ride in the morning b/c if I would have gotten a flat while it was in the 30s I would have died. Okay, maybe not died, but changing a tire sucks as it is...adding the cold to it and cold/slow fingers?? And running is sucking b/c it's hurting.

My motivation and confidence are in the crapper. I have no schedule to follow b/c I haven't signed up for (read: committed to) a race yet. Ugh. Crap. Is anyone selling motivation and confidence these days? If so, please email me...I'll buy a case.

Oh, and side note (b/c I promised Sexy Hippy) the best thing for pre-race jitters at night...when you're having trouble falling asleep...is getting laid. I had the honors of de-stressing Trainer last night. It.was.awesome.

Holy COLD batman!!

2010-01-31T13:29:00.003-06:00

Last night a group of women in T3 decided to get together. Most that attended consider themselves the "turtles" of the group. I most definitely fit into that category. We may take our time, but we'll finish! Anyway, we met at this cool little wine bar downtown and introduced ourselves, told everyone what our goals were, what we needed as far as support and gave our average speeds in each discipline. I left feeling a lot more connected to the group. Nothing like a little vino to bring people together!

Well, there was a cold weather option ride for today since yesterday it was in the 20s in the am. You could either sit on a trainer for 2-3 hours or come out on Sunday to do a nice ride on Parmer, my favorite road. My love for the road comes from it being a mile from my house. I don't have to drive anywhere, I don't have to get up too much earlier...you see where I'm going. One of the girls that I met last night said that she was going to the ride and I said, "Cool! I'll see you at 9am!" I know that I live in Texas, and that it can get a little chilly...but when I woke this morning it was 29 degrees. At 8am I checked again and it was 30. I checked the T3 board to see if anyone was bailing (I was praying really really hard) and there was no such post.

SO...I sucked it up, got my weather gear together, pumped up the tires, filled up my water bottles and left the house at 8:50am, 31 degrees. HOLY EFFING COLD people, like seriously.

Here is what I was wearing:

Socks and cycling shoes with a cold weather toe cover

Tri-short and full length leggings, they meet at the short and tuck under (ultra flattering...not)

Base layer sleeveless dri-fit, short sleeved cycling jersey, sleeveless cycling vest

Full arm warmers (again, they tuck up under your sleeves)

Winter gloves

Beanie cap

Helmet

Orange lenses on my cycling sunglasses

Here is what I should have been wearing:

My pajamas, in bed, with my big dog Fido and husband.

I started out from my house and by the time I got to the meeting place my thighs were squeezing out between the leg warmers and my tri-shorts. Apparently I should have paid attention and worn the longer pair of shorts. (note to self) I yanked the warmers up as we were waiting to take off and yanked the shorts down as much as I could. We left the meeting place and on to Parmer we rode. I was going to do 30-35 miles. That morning I had decided on 20. Once I got going in the below freezing temps I decided on 15. Truth be told, I really wanted to turn around 3 miles in....but I sucked it up and rode longer.

I couldn't feel my fingers, oh they hurt so bad (and still do mind you!), so I had issues changing gears. Nothing could stop the wind from finding the finger tips and toes. My core was nice and snugly warm, the rest of me...well, I was numb. The freakiest part was that when I came to a stop light (as I hit every fricken light both ways!!) I was afraid of not being able to dismount, or afraid that I wouldn't be able to feel my legs and that I would just fall over! I did make it home, I did 15 miles. I was even a good teammate and rode with the girl who said she'd be there on the way out. She had more miles and I wanted to book home so we parted early.

When I got home I just wanted to crash into the yard and hope that Trainer would look out the window and rescue me. After realizing how insane and silly that idea was I made it to the door, pieces of my thigh hanging out for the world to see, struggled to get my key out of my jersey pocket and stumbled through the door. My hands hurt so bad, especially once the blood started to return. Ouch, ouch, ouch...I kept repeating that over and over. Trainer had to help me get my gloves off. The pups were looking at me to figure out what was wrong. Finally I stripped down of my gear, my entire body (sans my core) was bright red. I took a hot bath, but nothing is warming me up today.

Lesson for the day: I will NOT go on any rides under 45 degrees unless I'm training for an Ironman...which is not in the cards, like ever. I can't decide if I kick ass...or if I'm just a dumbass today. :)