Weekend Woes

Ugh, it's Sunday...which means that I have to work tomorrow. I'm SO bummed. I'd really like to call in sick tomorrow morning, in fact the excuses are running through my head as I type. I could have some food borne illness, a killer headache, even the flu - just a little late. The options are endless and I'm a pretty accomplished fibber. This isn't something that one should be proud of...but I am, good at it that is. But, as we all know, I'll go to work. I'll suffer through the accounting meeting that's been called by Plain (CFO) and be oh so efficient. Tomorrow also marks the end of our fiscal year, I would never miss that day...even if I was truly sick.

This weekend was Trainer's birthday weekend. That is my thing more than his, but I try to be fair and give him what I want. I know that sounds funny. But I would want a birthday weekend, week...month if we were to get carried away. So, this is what I do for him. It doesn't work so well the other way, when he gives me what HE would want. A low key evening, doing nothing... Anyone who really knows me knows that I LOVE my birthday. To me it is a holiday. Probably has something to do with that whole "middle child" thing. You know, the thing that makes me seek out anything that makes me feel special? Oh crap, there I go...this isn't about me...it's about Trainer.

His actual birthday was on Thursday. I wanted to make it a perfect day. That morning we had an appraiser coming over and I had to wait for him, and since I was already home I decided to decorate the house with streamers and a banner. I wrapped up his present and left it for him on the counter. I was pretty proud of myself. Of course later that morning I got the anticipated text saying, "nice decorations" and that was it. Not "WOW! Thanks babe, that was cool" or anything like that. But again, that would have been ME not him. That night I wanted to make the perfect dinner so I went to Costco to get some Ahi tuna steaks that I had seen the week before, I was going to sear them (I got instructions from Sprinter - GOOD cook) and make some garlic mashed potatoes. I know that he would love that. Well, I got to Costco and they didn't have the tuna...errrg, so I got a salmon fillet instead. Trainer wasn't supposed to be home until 8:30 so I was just relaxing on the couch trying to watch my dvr'd shows. The door opens...Trainer is early and he didn't even text me. Errrrg - again! He say, "So, what's for dinner?" and I replied, "Well..." and he interrupts, "Pizza?" with a big grin on his face. EEEEEEERRRRRRRGGGGGGG! Pizza. I should have known as pizza is a staple in our diet. I said, "Well, I had this salmon, but I'll just cook it tomorrow night." He responds, "Oh, we can have the salmon." and of course I say, "No, no...I'll just order the pizza." So my...I mean HIS birthday night was not everything that I had hoped.

Continuing the birthday weekend....Friday I cooked the salmon and then we met up with some friends at this place called Sherlock's, a bar not too far from the house. It was a "My divorce is final and Trainer's b-day" celebration. More about the divorce, but that's okay. We went and had drinks and Mr. "I'm not going to drink too much" ended up drinking too much. Then at 2am Mr. "I'm really drunk" decides that he is "Mr. Frisky"...I shut that down pretty quick, I mean I LOVE getting frisky...when I'm awake. Saturday was the big birthday dinner out. I had made reservations for this steakhouse that is completely Austin. Meaning that it just has that Austin vibe. I was SO excited. This is where I wanted to take Trainer last year, but again, he just wanted pizza. Do you see a pattern? Anyway, Trainer ended up having a work meeting until 7 so I made our reservations for 8. We went and it was good, not fabulous like I had hoped, but still...it was good. We went home and I was hoping for a little action, however with the drunk night before and the long day that he'd had...no action. I secretly think that he was getting back at me. He fell asleep at 11pm and I couldn't get my mind to stop and ended up watching TV until 2am. Yes, me...lying there watching Save the Last Dance and The Real Housewives of New York. *Sigh*

We (really not WE, more like Trainer and the pups) woke up at 7:30am and decided that we were going on a walk. I took them to the park where I do most of my training runs with The Democrat. Fifi and Fido were beside themselves with joy. There is a lot of wildlife in the park and people were everywhere. After we got home I asked Trainer what he wanted for breakfast...in continuation of "birthday weekend" and he decided on my egg, potato and toast breakfast. When lunch time rolled around we had pizza...again, although a different kind of pizza. We went to his favorite espresso joint and had ridiculously expensive drinks. And then for dinner I cooked a pork loin and his favorite side dish - stuffing. Now we're just chillin' on the couch watching more TV as he stuffs his face with the gummy candies that I bought him. Another birthday weekend comes to an end...ahhh....I love birthdays, even when they're not everything that I had hoped for.

Friday...finally

It's been a LONG week, I think most of you will agree. We've hit that Spring "I really don't want to do anything but be outside and play" time, Spring Fever. Yep, still have it. Growing up in Colorado was a wonderful thing, you truly had four seasons and Spring is just glorious. When it comes to favorite seasons mine is Fall, but Spring has this energy and you just want to bathe yourself in it. The last thing you want to do is work...

I work in finance, it sounds fancier than it is. Finance is a BIG place, well most places, not really here. Some days I feel like I'm not even working and other days it feels like I'll never see the sun again. I've been pretty careful in life not to make my work my identity. Now, don't get me wrong, I take a lot of pride in my work. My work ethic has never been questioned. I think my parents had a big influence on me in that regard. It probably started in elementary school when my mom would say, "You're going to school unless you have a temperature of 101." So I work, rain or shine...even when I'm about to go into ICU, I work. However, today I just don't want to work!

I'd love to write a super witty blog today, but it's just not coming to me. I could go down memory lane a bit, but when I do that I tend to babble on...and then the post is SUPER long. So my solution is to just leave it as is today. Of course I'm now posting this on Sunday...what does that tell you?

Am I Fat?

Hmmm, let's see...how many times has one of your friends asked you that in your lifetime. Better yet, how many times have you asked someone that question? I am a very lucky person in that my friends can be honest with me and me with them. If something is unflattering we say things like, "Hmmm, those are okay, but I liked the other pair better, they make your a** look fabulous" or "You know, I'm really not sure about that color, let's go see if they have something else" even "Dude, no, take them off." Not everyone has friends like this, I'm blessed.

Now, I wish my clothes could talk and tell me things like my friends would. As some of you know, and now the rest of you will, I have been in a walking cast, or a boot, for 7 weeks now. This was supposed to be my last week, but I'm really sick of it and I decided that my stress fracture has healed and it was time to exercise once more. I hurt myself while training for and running a half marathon in January. The stress fracture started about 2-3 weeks before the race and I knew that there was something wrong. However, being me, I decided to ignore the pain. Hey, I was SO close to the race and I HAD to finish. I ran on the bad leg, I finished the race, I couldn't walk for a week...and then was put into this boot. I could have done weights and crunches while I was in the boot, but I opted for the self-loathing path...the one with least resistance, the one that MADE me eat ice cream by the pint and Mexican food like it was going out of style. Anyway...back to the clothes.

This past Saturday was my first day back to exercise. I walked for an hour...whoohoo...and wore one of my new running skirts. The skirt was a little snug at the waist line, but I figured, well, it's new and I haven't worn it before. Fine. Then this morning I met The Democrat, who is my current exercise partner, at 6am for a 30 min walk. I put out my clothes last night, a cute pair of long running pants that have a skirt attached (Yes, I'm in to this new skirt thing, it's flattering and makes me feel girly) and a long sleeved white Nike shirt, oh and a short sleeved Nike shirt for afterwards when I was going to train with Trainer at the gym. Well, I got up...pulled on my clothes, put on my shoes and was thinking...huh, these pants are a little snug. Hmmm....I did remember that they do fit snugly, but I remembered that the skirt was CUTE and kind of flipped up in the right spots to make it flattering. But, it wasn't doing this now.

By the time I drove over to meet The Democrat I was over it. Fine, I need to drop some poundage in the thigh area, it's okay, I'm staring over again...etc, etc. Plus it was super dark out and you really couldn't see. :) After our walk and talk I drove over to the gym to meet Trainer for my weights workout. Now, this is my first lifting workout since our Christmas vacation. I know, I couldn't believe it either...what a slacker I am! Anyway, I get to the gym and changed shirts. Now my short sleeved shirt is a little longer, but it's a little more fitted then the long sleeve. I wanted the longer shirt just in case Trainer had me do some exercises where my shirt would ride up. No...not like our Saturday 'exercise'...these would be actual IN THE GYM exercises...sheesh people...heads in the gutter. I went to the restroom before I started and of course glimpsed at myself in the mirror. O-M-G...WHY didn't my pants tell me that I'd lost all my muscle tone? WHY didn't my shirt tell me that it was going to cling to the tiny roll that was hanging over the too snug pants?? WHY oh WHY? I had no choice but to do my workout in my ill fitting clothes and I was constantly reminded as there are freaking mirrors everywhere in the gym. Trainer was sweet and said that I looked sporty. Code for - not hot, but coordinated. Ah well...at least I was at the gym right?

What is the moral of this story? Can you all figure it out? Well, I'll help you. The moral of this story is that you don't need to ask if you are fat, you're not fat. Your clothes are actually sneaky creatures that start to take a different form if they are ignored for too long, so take them out every now and then and say sweet things or buy some new clothes.

Pieces of a Puzzle

Today is Easter, although that doesn't mean a lot in our household. It's just another Sunday, except for the fact that the Home Depot was less crowded. In fact I'm drinking my Texspresso in jeans and a t-shirt, sitting on my couch while watching Joes vs. Pros. Have you seen this show? Pretty darn funny...if you like sports. The weather is a little grey and cool, perfect weather to nurse a killer hangover. Too much beer and a lot of extra curricular activities makes me a tired, sore and an oddly happy girl.

The title - Pieces of a Puzzle - is how I describe my relationship with Trainer. When we first started "dating" I would tell my friends that it just fit right. I know, I know...TMI...sorry for those who really know both of us. ;) But really our relationship started off on a physical level and grew from there. And it's been that way ever since. Crazy.

Last night we decided to go grab some beers and listen to live music. You can do that just about anywhere here in Austin. There is this brewery pretty close to our house called NXNW (North by North West) which has tried to mimic the microbrew pubs from the NW. Their Pale Ale is amazing so of course we had to have some of that. We split an appetizer and then a burger and listened to some tunes on the deck. I've been feeling pretty insecure since the Craigslist stuff. Call me crazy, but really...if you found your significant other looking at Casual Encounter ads, no matter how funny they are, wouldn't you feel a little inadequate? No? Well, I was feeling that way. So, with the help of a little liquid courage I decided to bring up the subject again. See, my dear Trainer was looking at these silly ads while I was away in Houston. And of course he still doesn't really know how to erase his history so I found out.

I hadn't said anything about the ads until this point. But as we were listening to the music and halfway through my second beer I brought it up. We talked about it, I told him how it made me feel, he did the adolescent eye roll and claimed it was a guy thing, I gave him the "I'm not trying to be your mother, just your wife" speech and he told me that he would never go there again...and now he knows that I can access the information so he'd better not lie. Whew, glad we got that over with. We left after our third beer and drove home. Of course I was a little worked up so I decided to go to the convenience store and get MORE beer.

We continued to drink and turned on some tunes. Then one thing led to another and I found myself modeling several pieces of lingerie that Trainer had bought me the previous year. I came out of the bedroom to find all of the lights off and all of the candles lit. I was putting on my best "stripper" dance show with the 80s hair-band rock in the background. Pretty good stuff. (I think I've been watching too many episodes of Rock of Love.) Hahaha! The fun lasted until about 2:30am, not a record in our 13 years together, but pretty close. Easter morning was a continuation of the evening. I swear, it was like we were 22 again. I guess sometimes when things are amiss you need to look at the what brought you together and go back...go back to a time when you were just two interlocking pieces of a puzzle.

A long drive, a cup of coffee and Toad and the Wet Sprocket

I've been in training all week down in Houston. I actually like going to Houston because Legs lives down there and I can always stop and see her and the boys on my way downtown. I also have some cousins down there that will feed me great food and always have a cooler full of beer. That's right peeps, I have rednecks in the family. Dads side of course. Anywhoodle, I drove down on Sunday night and stopped at Legs' house to see her kids (that would be one son and one husband) and mooch dinner off of her. She always makes good food or has great places to go to if she doesn't feel like cooking. Sunday night was a ribs and mashed potatoes night. Oh yum! The drive TO Houston was pretty uneventful, just the usual dumbass people that insist on driving the speed limit. For goodness sakes people - THAT is what open country roads are for...to SPEED! Anyway it took me a little under 3 hours to get to Legs' house. When I arrived the boys were playing outside (way too cute) and she was inside thinking about dinner. She asks me, "What do you want - Ribs or soup?" Hmmm, tough one. "Ribs, are you kidding?" She smiled and said, "Yeah, that's what I thought too." I had some wine and dined and made my way downtown a little later that evening.

The hotel was nice, nothing over the top, but the bed was fabulous. That's all I need when traveling - a good bed. Of course I couldn't fall asleep...that first night away from home thing. Always happens to me. And of course the morning came too soon. For those of you who know me...remember...I am NOT a morning person. Nothing has changed there.

Training - this was the most ridiculous training I've ever attended. First off, I was the ONLY person in the class. So then the instructor decided that he should sit next to me instead of the traditional instructor up front. Well, this poses a problem for me....how the hell am I supposed to surf the internet and write my blog if he's sitting right next to me? Come on dude! Second, he was reading directly from the training manual. PUH-LEASE! They could have sent me the training manual and I could have read that crap myself. Isn't the point of training to learn things that are between the lines? Tips? Tricks? Riiiiight....not so much. Anyway, the good thing about training (again) is that I'm in Houston. Not at work with Title Girl and Plain.

Monday night I went to see my cousins that live in Sugar Land, that's just South of where I was at. These are my dads "cousins" which would be my second cousins and then their kids would be my third cousins. My third cousin, the middle kid, was leaving for Alaska in the morning, he's in the military and was just back from the Honduras. So they were having a good-bye craw fish boil for him. I didn't think I'd like eating craw fish, but surprisingly it's really tasty! The only bad part, if you could even call it that, was the discussion of politics. I'm a Dem and they are VERY Republican. I just kept my mouth shut for the entire conversation. And shortly after that I left, I needed a shower...

Tuesday night was uneventful, just had some really tasty Greek food. Wednesday night was KICK ASS. Legs came to my hotel to pick me up after she got off work. In fact, she excused herself from a very important meeting to come and get me. Ahhh, the power of the Galleria in Houston. It'll make you do strange things.

Before we shopped we needed some fluids and food to get our strength up, so we stopped at this place called "The Tasting Room" (at least I think that is what it was called) and yes, it's a wine bar. OMG, so tasty. We had wine and cheese...what could be better fuel for shopping? Then off to the Galleria. We went into Nordstrom's first. I L-O-V-E Nordy's. The one in Austin is "far" away (meaning that it will take me longer than 10 minutes to get there) so I never go. We decided to try on designer jean. MISTAKE! Oh, they fit like a glove and made me look 10 pounds lighter and my legs about 5" longer. I tried on '7 jeans' and 'Humanity for something' that I can't remember. Both fit. And even when I looked at the price tag I didn't freak (thanks to the Merlot)...Legs was having the same "problem." Lucky for us we were together and it took both of our brains to make us PUT-THE-JEANS-DOWN and walk away. I mean $200 for a pair of jeans? Seriously...and I was considering it, not just considering it but walking up to the register! Yikes, it was close. After that we saw Ann Taylor Loft, much more reasonable. We each found several items of clothing to purchase and it still didn't come to $200. Now I have some shorts a really cute black weekend dress that can be worn with flip flops. After shopping we needed to refuel so we went and had this amazing pizza at a small chain called Colina's.

Wednesday night rocked - Good friend, good wine, good cheese, successful shopping and pizza. What more can a girl ask for?

Since I was the only one in class I got done early. An entire day early so I slept in Thursday morning, waited until after rush hour was done and started on my way back to Austin. I stopped at Starbucks for a coffee and some water and turned the Tahoe towards home. The drive was beautiful and I put in some Toad and the Wet Sprocket and let my mind drift. I was thinking about my blog and all of the things that I should write about. Then I was thinking about Trainer and the fact that he didn't know that I was coming home early...hehehe. Not that he was going to be home when I got there anyway, but a surprise never hurt anyone right? Then I stopped thinking as 'Windmills' started playing and I let myself just enjoy being on the road with the wildflowers starting to bloom and the wind blowing through my hair.

Internet Porn

Why....why was this created? Wasn't life so much simpler when your significant other could just hide the video or dvd in their sock drawer and you could just pretend that you didn't know? I don't want to take us back to the time of no computers or cell phones, but they were definitely simpler times. Now I have to worry about texting and craigslist...ugh. I shouldn't worry, I know my husband is faithful...so why do I worry? I have no idea. Maybe I'm just not a trusting person. Nah, that's not it. I'm trusting of most people. Too trusting. Something to ponder.

Anyway, have you all been to Craigslist? You can get anything on Craigslist...ANYTHING. A bicycle, a roommate, a quickie for lunch...you know...the essentials! Yeah, NOT kidding. I didn't know that they had such a thing. There are listings on Craigslist for 'Casual Encounters.' Not just Personals, they have those too of course, but CASUAL ENCOUNTERS! I was floored. Anyway, I just happened to notice that my husband was erasing his internet history. And being that I'm smarter than him I found the back way to find out what he was deleting. The usual suspects: Debbie does more than Donuts, Go Black and Never Turn Back, Big *** Shots, etc. Fine, fine...whatever...moving on. (This is the stuff that you can get at the video store and I find to be silly and not too disturbing, fine call me weird.) Then I see a whole bunch of listings for Craigslist Casual Encounters. What's this?

"Hot 29yr old, call me, I'll come over at 7am for a quickie and leave, NSA." Yep, NSA - no strings attached. "Meet me at neighborhood bar, we'll see where it goes, maybe home. Send pic." Of course there are pictures attached. Boob shots, other shots...yeah, pretty. So what does a wife of 8 1/2 years do? I left one of the ads that he had looked at up on the monitor and then put a sticky note on it "Huh, not sure what to think about this..." then down a couple of lines "Going to the store after work, text me if you need anything." Basically, okay jackass, you're caught and you'd better have an explanation...and dinner will be ready when you get home. The Saint calls that behavior passive aggressive. WHAT? ME? No.... ;)

Trainer sends me an email later in the day that say, "Oh honey, no worries, I just think they're funny." Uh-huh...let me tell you what I think is funny! Funny would be your a** being on the streets with no wifey to make you dinner or your mortgage payment! THAT's FUNNY! Sorry, I should have written about this last week when it happened, all of this pent up aggression. Am I worried about him going out and having a fling? Not really. Am I worried that he'll get too drunk while I'm away and do something stupid? Not really, he's a jackass when he's drunk, who would take him?

Well, now I feel better. It's all about letting it out....in the great words of Bad Boys, "Whooosaaaaa" and yes, I'm rubbing my earlobes. I'll write more later kids!

The Perfect Husband

Does he exist? I don't think so...but maybe there is a perfect husband for everyone individually. For example, Trainer may not have made it in any household but my own (most sane women would have thrown him out on his behind by now). For a long time I thought that my husband was the only one who looked at internet porn and just drank to get drunk. But over the years I've found that he's not too abnormal. I won't call it normal, I don't want to generalize and say that all men are sex driven beings with no will power over booze. That's simply not true.

So, last night my dear husband asks me "Hey, would it be okay with you if I hung out with Peter tonight after work?" My response was, "I'm okay with it, I'll have left overs - cool?" His response "COOL!!!" (He LOVES exclamation marks, drives me batty.) Oh, and this is all done by text, I think he feels that it's safer that way. Which brings me to my next point...why even ask? I feel like I'm his mom instead of his wife. Which is another similarity between Trainer and other husbands, what makes them such children after they get married? Sorry, back to the story at hand. So, I don't care that my husband goes out with his friends or over to a friend's house to drink and kick back. I don't care if my husband drinks so much that he can't drive home and has to stay overnight someplace. I DO care that the little rat doesn't call me and tell me that he's going to stay overnight someplace. I was up half the fricken night waiting for a phone call or even a stupid text. Nothing. Nada. Every time I heard a siren I held my breath and waited for the inevitable phone call from the emergency service people. Fortunately that call never came and my husband made it home at 7am with apologies streaming out his mouth as soon as he came through the door.

I have friends who's husbands don't lift a finger to help with housework. I know other husbands who are control freaks with money. I know of husbands and boyfriends who are alcoholics and beat up their loved ones. My husband is none of those. He does 90% of the housework, he handed me the money reins, and he's never laid a hand on me. So do I have a right to complain? Hell yeah I do!

How can the men in our lives make us feel SO insignificant? We are strong women, the lot that I know are incredibly strong. Trainer can make me feel like a crazy, paranoid bi*ch who should be on her way to the loony bin. I swear it would be easier if I were a lesbian. I'm not keen on the girl/girl thing...tried it once, not sure if I liked it...I was in a tequila induced happy state. See, I told you that you may learn something new about me. I didn't say that it was information that you WANTED to know. ;)

For now I'll keep my sanity and maybe buy some spy ware and a GPS tracking device that I can secretly inject into Trainer's arm to keep up with his shenanigans. Nope, I'm not paranoid...not me...