So, it's Friday night. I made an awesome dinner and we didn't even have the conversation that goes like this:
Me: "What do you want for dinner?"
T: "I don't know...what do you want?"
Me: " No seriously, I don't care, what do you feel like having?"
T: "I don't know, what do YOU feel like having?"
This conversation leaves both parties frustrated and usually heading to the phone to call Pei Wei or grabbing the keys to drive to the pizza buffet. Nope, not tonight. I arrived home at 6pm after a LONG day of work and made the salmon that was defrosted in the fridge. And, it was pretty damn good. Whole wheat pasta for my side with a nice side salad. I stayed within my points today, despite the donut...and kolache...dammit...again, stayed within the points.
After my revelation in my last blog I was determined to get up in the morning and exercise and get back to living. How did that go? Well...I had the right attitude, but my body wasn't in sync. Or maybe it was that I really wanted it in one part of my brain, but the other part was still kind of stuck? Regardless, I didn't make it out of bed before 7am this week.No spin, no running, no Body Pump.
One of my favorite bloggers writes "fatty gets fit", which is a truly realistic funny blog that I love, told me to look up the 7 Stages of Grief, to help me deal with what I was going through. I did just that, and it made sense. I melded some of the stages though. Stages 1, 2 and 3 were really just about the pain of losing someone. I totally was stuck in #4, depression, reflection and loneliness. I believe that 5, 6 and 7 will kind of meld as well. 5 is the upward turn and 7 ends with hope, in between is working through. I've always been an overachiever so why not do three steps at once right? Ha. Anyway, it's just taking longer than I thought it would.
Right now, as I write this, I'm watching tv with Trainer and drinking a glass of red wine. My favorite wine actually...a cheap red blend that the Executive introduced me to. Ménage à Trois, it's fabulous, easy to drink and goes with just about everything. Of course it did put me over by 3 points for the day, but it was worth it.
Something significant happened this week, I have to share. It shouldn't be such a big deal, but maybe because of where my mind has been it is kind of a big thing. I believe it was Tuesday or Wednesday I got an email from Trainer asking me how my day was going and if I'd like to go out on a "date" on Saturday night. What? A date? Really?? (You'd think that being a couple with no kids that we'd go out all the time, but not so much.) Of course I said yes, I mean, what kind of girl doesn't want to go out on a date? The best part is that I have no idea where we are going or what we are doing. The other thing that happened was on Wednesday night we were watching Top Chef in bed and Trainer was being all cuddly (really) and we ended up having some pretty great sex. On a SCHOOL night! Date night. Sex. What's next? Hot damn.
He's also been really sweet this week. We've been talking about our days when I get home, we try to get to bed about the same time...I just feel like he's trying to take care of me. Maybe he reads my blog...hmmm...or maybe he just senses that I need this right now? I don't know. I do love it though. It makes me WANT to come home and make dinner for him. It makes me realize how much he does around the house. (Seriously, I haven't cleaned a bathroom in months b/c they're always clean!) It makes me realize that we really do 'get' one another. Sorry, am I babbling? :)