Sunday, October 26, 2008
Moving...it sucks, it sucks no matter who is moving. Yesterday morning after walking the pups their mile and a half, then doing an hour boot camp, Trainer and I helped New Orleans Boy move. He's a great kid, we love him, however...like I said...moving sucks. Trainer and I have moved many, many times in our lives. This last time when we moved here we got it down to a science. Of course it had to be since we moved across country. Sorry..tangent...back to the story.
We went over to N.O.'s place around noon and we saw that the back of his rig was open and there were boxes in there. Cool, he's already started. We get in to the apartment and holy cow it looked like a tornado had hit his living room. 'Oh boy' is what I was thinking...this is going to be a long day. Well, we just jump right in, that's one thing about Trainer and I, we just get in there and starting doing shit. We were in "work" mode and starting loading whatever we could. Trainer was there for the muscle and I was there to drive another big vehicle. We have a full size truck and a Tahoe, good for space and moving. After the trucks were all full we caravaned down to his new place, which was across town and is not too far in big city terms, but in Austin it was "SO FAR AWAY!" Yes, we're spoiled.
As we turned onto the highway access road we notice that there is a traffic jam...game traffic. Dammit, so we re-routed and made it to his new place in about 30 minutes. Not too bad. Unloading is so much easier than loading. We were done in 40 minutes or so, ate lunch and headed back for another load...and then we repeated the process sans the lunch one more time. Three trips total. Now, I do not know where the f*ck N.O.'s got his bedroom furniture, but holy crap it was heavy. All of his furniture was solid wood, all very nice, but all VERY heavy. I carried the bed frame pieces, the headboard was just ridiculous. Anyway, we did it, we got the heavy stuff moved over and it only took us about 8 hours with travel and lunch. N.O. took us out to a Cajun restaurant that rocked. We ate and drank beer, trying to melt away the aches that were coming.
This morning I woke up feeling like someone drove over me with a truck...I have bruises in the weirdest places, no one should have bruises in these places unless they had a really good time. Well, we did our good deed of the year and helped a friend in need. Poor kid had to work today and he was going to make more trips last night...right now I'm sure he hates moving more than we do.
I am always looking for good sides or salads since we have greens with almost every meal. This month there was a really great 'pizza' and salad recipe. The pizza was made on Flat Out Bread, you can figure that part out, easy breezy right? But the salad is what was SO delish and tasty.
Simple Spinach and goat cheese salad
4 cups of baby spinach (use the pre-bagged, pre-washed to save time)
1 cup of red grapes cut in half (I used black since we couldn't find red, I'm sure green would be good too!)
2Tbs crumbled fresh goat cheese
2Tbs sliced almonds
1 1/2 Tbs Olive Oil
1 1/2 Tbs balsamic vinegar
Salt and Pepper to taste
Combined 1st four ingredients together in a mixing bowl, drizzle with the oil and vinegar, mix thoroughly and season with the salt and pepper. Makes two good sized servings.
This took me about 5 min to put together and I made it while the "pizzas" were in the oven. NO EXCUSES, easy, tasty and I can make double the recipe with the ingredients that I bought, so it comes out to about $1.50 a salad. Rockin.
Friday night we had a costume part "ball" to go to. My friend Minnesota is the marketing director for Goodwill and last year she started a Ghoul Ball. We didn't go last year, but Trainer had donated some sessions and we thought we should go. Last year I bought a nun outfit for Halloween, that was our first Halloween party ever...that we went to dressed up and together. Well, with my new schedule I couldn't get out to get a new outfit so I was a nun again.
To spice it up a little I decided to be a naughty nun, unbeknownst to anyone except me and Trainer. I thought, 'Hmmm....I think I'll wear some risky undergarments under this outfit...' And so I pulled out my Frederick's crotchless panties (hot pink) that have the garter hooks attached, paired it with black sheer thigh high stockings and a sexy push up bra. Waaaa-laaah! Naughty Nun, here I am. My mind was running ramped with fantasies of Trainer pulling me into a dark nook at the ball and having his way with me, or in the parking garage, or in the car...you get the idea. Trainer went as a bloody crazy Doctor. My phrase of the night was:
"He can save your life, but I can save your soul..." People laughed and most went the way of the soul saving...interesting.
Well...what I didn't anticipate was this: My panties were/are super stretchy and a little big so the garter straps were pulling them down. My fantasies of being taken into a dark corner were replaced with fear of someone noticing that my ass was now bear because while walking down 6th Street (Yes, the famous 6th Street in Austin) my panties were about thigh level. Who needs crotchless panties when you basically have none on?? On we walked to the hotel, about 6 or 7 blocks, down the busy street....the only ones in costume because we were late to the party and a week early for the actual day. People commented and at every stop light I tried to not so subtly yank up my drawers. Trainer says, "Wow...tough outfit tonight." Laughing at me. Pfft. Whatever.
At the ball I found a spot and undid the back of the garters and that helped a little. Before we left and at the end of the night I undid the fronts as well. My stockings slid down my legs, pooling at my knees, funny. I didn't care though, my crotchless panties were in place. I even got some goods when I got home. Even though it wasn't the stuff of my fantasies, it was pretty darn good.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
After that I went home, changed again, this time in to my running clothes and met The Democrat for a nice four mile run. Of course my legs were all tight from the class and my heart rate was zooming because I had just drank some strong ass coffee, so the "nice" four mile run was...eh...ok. But, I did it. And actually as much as I made us walk we still finished in our fastest time yet.
After this I went to work to get some reports done for the Monday morning Sales meeting, yep, I went to work all nasty and sweaty. Hey, it was on my way home. And really...who's there to see/smell me?? Actually Superman was, but I kept my distance out of respect for his nose. I was there for a couple of hours and then headed home. Took a much needed shower and weighed myself again. I was down to 158.8. HA! HA! I love water retention.
Ahhh...Sundays. This morning we were up early, well early for two people that have no kids and dogs that will sleep as long as we do. Trainer ran a 10k and I took the pups so we could cheer him on. The puppies LOVE going out in public, they love all the attention that they get...touch whores, that is what they are. 'PLEASE pet me' their eyes plead...and people do. They love the pups, most asking what they are. I mean...look at this face:
Could you possibly resist her? And she's SO soft...fluffy coat. They look like little bears. And they're super sweet. People only hesitate because of their black faces, but once they realize how friendly they are the pups get exactly what they want. Love, love, love.
Anyway, we walked around while Trainer ran the race, I think I got about three miles of walking in, not bad for my day off. I may go ride today, but I'm still feeling the boot camp in the booty. We shall see. When we got home we were going to go out for pancakes, drove to the restaurant and the line outside was ridiculous. Looked like at least an hour wait so I told Trainer to drive to the store, I picked up some gourmet pancake mix and eggs and I made breakfast at home. We were done eating before we would have been seated. AND I only spent $6.00 on breakfast...less actually since there is more than one serving in the package. I'm good... :)
This is my favorite part of Sunday. After breakfast I sit here with my coffee, laptop keeping me warm and Sunday NFL Countdown on the TV. I'm sitting in the recliner (thank god for wireless) and Trainer is laying on the couch, resting.
Oooh, you have to check out his blog this week. It's actually pretty good. Trainer's Blog I guess I'm doing a pretty crappy job with keeping this semi-anonymous huh? HAHA! Please leave a comment if you could. He needs feedback, good or bad...just to know that someone is reading. This is me 'doing my part' for the business. :)
Now it's time to watch some good football and peruse through the cookbooks to make my menu for the week. I still think I need to do a weekly sharing of menus or at least key recipes. For those of you who think you have no time to cook...by the time you get home, decide where to go for 'fast food', go there and order, get your food and drive back home you could have had a healthy meal at home and had the dinner mess cleaned up. Trust me, I used to be the Queen of "where should we go tonight" because I was too tired to cook. Now I'm enjoying cooking and knowing that I'm in control of what goes in my mouth. Here was my Friday dilemma:
I went to happy hour, had one glass of wine and went home to make dinner. It was 6:30pm, Trainer was getting a massage from Brassy. I was going to make steak and red potatoes, but I didn't have potatoes, or stuffing, rice takes an hour...didn't have that long. What did I have?
1 Tenderloin steak (Costco...great price, great meat) sliced
1 Red pepper sliced
1 Green Pepper sliced
1/2 an onion, sliced
1 packet Italian dressing mix
2tsp olive oil
1 can of Black beans
Take your sliced tenderloin, put it in a small bowl and coat it with the Italian dressing mix seasoning. Set aside in fridge until you're ready to cook it. Over medium high heat, heat oil and saute your veggies. Open can of black beans, drain, rinse and dump into a small pot. Cook over med-low heat. Lower heat once you see it's cooking. Move your sauteed veggies to a dish and use the same pan for your meat. (I do this with chicken too, yummers) Cook until it's done to your liking (chicken cook all the way through...duh right?) Throw veggies back in with the meat, toss and then transfer to serving dish. Transfer beans to serving dish. This night I had corn tortillas so I heated those up on the stove (we have gas burners). I served it with reduced fat sour cream, reduced fat cheese and salsa. Dinner was on the table by 7, or whenever he was done with his massage. Trainer used the corn tortillas and I just layered my stuff on the plate. Easy breezy.
So tell me...yeah or nah on the recipe deal? I'll do it once a week if you like it, if not I'll just dump it. :)
Saturday, October 18, 2008
I am not my mother.
She gave me eyes of chocolate and her full mouth,
She gave me insight and a silver tipped tongue.
As I grew she taught me kindness and loyalty.
I almost lost my mother,
It was 17 years ago.
She needed me,
She told me to go.
I think she resented me.
The month of October represents so many things. I have several friends who's birthdays are in October (gotta love the Libras and Scorpios!), Halloween is at the end of the month, my dad's birthday is on the 30th, my mom's on the 31st, and of course it is Breast Cancer awareness month. That last one, it's a hard one.
How many people do you know that have been affected by breast cancer? My first experience with is was when I was 17 years old. It was the Spring semester of my senior year of high school. My mom had gone in for her annual appointment, not that I knew...we didn't talk about those kinds of things. But apparently she went in for a follow up mammogram and they discovered that the lump that they (the Dr's) were watching had grown. A biopsy confirmed that it was malignant. I didn't understand, not really, again, we didn't talk about these private matters. All I knew is that my mom had stage 3 breast cancer and she was going to have a radical mastectomy.
I went with my mom to the Dr at the appointment in which they discussed her surgery. The doctor gave her the details and at the end she said, "Ok." The doctor looked at her and said, "Are you okay with everything? Do you have any questions?" My mom said, "No. All good." The doctor glanced over at me and said, "We could talk without her in the room." My mom said, "No need. I'm fine." And he said, "Really...are you okay?" My mom looked at him hard, square in the face and said, "Look, if it has to go, it has to go. It's simple." He said, "What about reconstructive surgery?" My mom said, "What about it? If it wasn't meant to be there then take it off."
This conversation shaped me, it deeply affected me and who I became. Especially in the years following the surgery.
My mom had her surgery right before I went to school. My grandmother came out, only the second time since we had moved there...14 years ago. I did what I could, but again, I really didn't understand everything that was going on. I do remember coming home and seeing my dad with the encyclopedia, sobbing. He had looked up cancer, the days before the internet....where all you could read was in books. He had the book clutched to his chest and tears were running down his face. I'd only see my dad shed tears once before, when his father died. My mom was "fine", she worked up until her surgery. She wasn't concerned. We were all scared, but we didn't talk about it. My older brother was in the army and overseas and my younger brother was only 9.
I went away to college, I left home, when my mom needed me the most, but I didn't even know it. I spent the summer before college in upstate New York (that is it's OWN story) not really thinking about real life. I didn't think about my mom going through chemo and radiation. And after I got home I packed up my stuff, got on a plane and went to Arizona to attend ASU. My mom was still going through treatments, she didn't talk about it.
My mom was angry with me. Angry that I left. Angry that I couldn't read her mind and know that she needed me. Angry that I left her home with the boys who were helpless. What a selfish child I was. I didn't even realize this until years later. How terrible.
My mom made it through her experience. She still reminds me that it was little bro that was there for her...him being 10...I'm sure he lent a lot of support...but that's just bitterness. She still reminds me that I was absent. Little digs here and there. And she can do that, because she survived. She lived. And for that I am grateful.
When I was in my late 20s I lost a co-worker, a good friend, to breast cancer. She had it once every five years until it finally metastasized into the rest of her body and took her in her mid-40s.
Legs' mom is a survivor of breast cancer. She fought a long and hard battle, and thank God...she is still with us...ornery as ever.
I just read about Slick's mom - read his story under Slicksumbich to the right over there...yep, click on it, read it, cry just like I did.
So October is here. I relive my mom's cancer like it was yesterday, not quite finding peace with it yet. I'm a good patient, I get checked every year. I make my way to the smash-o-gram and have only had a scare once. I hope all of you do too, get checked that is...I know it's a pain (both in the ass and your breasts), but please do it. Five minutes of pain can be the difference between losing nothing, losing a breast or losing you life. It sounds so simple doesn't it?
Sorry, didn't mean to get preachy and serious on y'all.
Updates: The job is going ok, I'm playing the good "kiss ass" and getting on the good side of all of my sales people. I am still happy just to have a job...and a paycheck. I'll give you some good stories about all of my sales people, I have a couple already and I've only been doing the job for 2 weeks. Huh. Trainer is good, not sleeping at night, but as far as 'we' go, he's good. I need to take a picture of the ring for you...post it on here...
Just chillin' watching college football, drinking a bevo, my last Pyramid Apricot...damn. I only had one to begin with, probably good though. I'll post more tomorrow. Later gators.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Maybe it's because I'm never going to have kids. Maybe it's because once you've seen one pacifier you've seen them all?? I've given and attended SO many baby showers...and there will be more in my future I'm sure.
Last weekend I went to Home Girl's baby shower. I walked into the hostess's house and as I was sweeping the room looking for her I spotted five other pregnant women. FIVE! And then there were two people who had JUST given birth, a lady who had her 5 month old and 2 year old with her and a couple of other toddlers in the room. I didn't drink the water...that's for damn sure.
I talked to Home Girl twice, once to say hello when I got there and then again to say goodbye when I had to leave. Here's the funny thing - I know more about baby products than the average new mom. Mostly through my friends' experiences. I know which pacifiers are like crack, I know what kind of diapers are best for allergic babies. I know about cloth diapers and how far they've come in the years since my baby brother was in diapers. I know about bottles, breast feeding, chapped and cracked nipples, diaper rash, projectile vomiting, good carries, pack and plays...almost everything. I'm like a consumer's guide for new parents. No one, who does not have a child, should know this much about baby crap.
After the shower I had to drive across town to a one year old's birthday. Which is really just a big party with booze and people are free to bring their kids. I actually enjoy these kinds of parties. It's about the kids, but not really. Trainer went ahead of me and I met him there. So after an hour or so I was ready to go home. I didn't have anything to drink there...not afraid of the water, but it was the day after my emotional breakdown that was induced by a bottle of wine. I think we ended up going to bed at 8:30 or 9pm that night. Crazy.
Back to the showers...I really don't like bridal showers either. I don't mind giving gifts, I don't mind socializing...I hate the games. Yes. Hate. Maybe it's the structure too? I don't know. I'm just anti-shower. The last shower I hosted happened to be a baby shower, and it was done as a cocktail hour, which was fabulous. Legs suggested it (it was HER baby shower) and it was pretty cool. It was done in the evening (another pet peeve of mine...why do they put showers in the middle of the day??) and we had a nice spread. I was the co-host since it was done in Houston. My partner was awesome, I just showed up and paid money and helped set up. :)
Next time you plan a shower make it at 10 and do a brunch with booze, or a cocktail hour at 7pm with booze. Trust me, the pregger people won't care, it saves the majority of your day and you can't go wrong with diapers and booze!
Saturday, October 11, 2008
The beautiful campus at Oregon State University.
Newport Beach, OR. The Oregon coastline is something to behold.
Me, after a lot of Rogue...and I think I'm funny. (See...hour glass)
This is the view from the back yard of my in-laws. In the winter when the trees lose their leaves you can see the Willamette river. (Oregon City, OR)
Me with Mr. Kitty (Kitty is really his name...) on the back porch. The cat is a serious touch whore, we're kindred spirits...
I've been trying to think of things to blog about, ideas are also escaping me... Let's try this approach:
Work - Well, now that I'm in my new position I'm finding that I'm irritated with Plain, the asshole CFO for those of you who forgot. Every day that goes by and he says, "Good morning" or "How are you?" I find myself saying, "Morning" and "Fine" with no emotion in my voice. I reflect on my tone and behavior and realize that I'm being semi-immature. On the other hand I feel like he doesn't deserve any emotion. He cast me aside. The one that was supposed to protect my position, since I was doing HIS work. The team isn't having to pick up any slack b/c I wasn't doing a task related work. Nothing that "so and so" had to have on a certain day. We'll see what happens at the end of the month where my job really came into play.
I'm getting more exercise at work, I have to walk back and forth from my desk to the warehouse several times a day. I'm getting to know the other side of the operation and interacting with a different set of people. AND I'm busy all day long. Which is why my blog has been neglected. It was a rough week, but it ended up okay. I deal with sales people. Enough said. Okay, maybe not...sales people have to be the sneakiest, most persistent people in the world. Great for making a sale, but a real pain in my ass when they're on my ass all day. Everything is NOW, NOW, NOW with them. "They HAVE to have it by tomorrow!" Right...everyone HAS to have it by tomorrow. Give me a break. One sales guy was being an ass and after he calmed down and I helped him with his issue I said, "I like Starbucks and a really good red wine." Hint, hint you bastards.
Home - Home life is pretty good right now. We just struggling with the business side of things, trying to get new clients in the door...hard trying to sell something that requires discretionary spending...something that most of us don't have right now. I think I'm trough my transition with the new job, emotionally speaking. I have a job, I'm grateful, I have a lot more than most people these days. When you can still afford cable, you're doing pretty good in my book.
We do have a goal for this month, which is to only go out to dinner once. It's going to be our reward. And really to tell you the truth I'd rather eat my food than some greasy chain food, it's just the time that gets me. After working 8-10 hours I'm exhausted and really don't want to spend another hour plus in the kitchen. I've been keeping up with my menu and adding a new dish every week. I think I need to post some of these recipes, they are fabulous. And most are super easy...and BONUS...they are super healthy. Our one dinner out this month is going to be a special treat - SUSHI! I 'puffy heart with glitter' sushi. Trainer's aunt and uncle sent me a check for my b-day, it was late and they missed last year too so it was double! That is what we're using to pay for our dinner...BONUS - FREE SUSHI night out!
Hmmm...what else... Oh yes, we had Brassy and N.O. Boy over this week. Love them!! It's so nice to have another couple to hang with, especially 'cause they're easy to be around. All four of us get along. Brassy made her famous margaritas...OMG...she bragged about them and after drinking them, she definitely has bragging rights. Holy crap man...they are the dangerous ones, they tasted like juice and you don't realize that they're strong until you're slurring after two of them. We stayed up way too late and I missed my run the next morning. No big, it was worth it. I made my green chile enchiladas and they turned out pretty good too. I attempted to make my mom's Spanish rice, but it didn't turn out as well as I would have liked. I always do something wrong, not sure what it is! I called my dad in a panic b/c I wanted to make the rice, but I always forget how. He couldn't remember either so he called my mom at work...HAHA! Yes, I'm a daddy's girl and he'll do whatever it takes to make me happy if he can. Yay for me!
Well, that was my week. Nothing too crazy. Right now we're watching the Red River Rivalry and I'm still in my workout clothes. I love weekends.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Oregon was a lot of fun. We got in on Wednesday evening and the MIL had dinner ready for us when we got to her house. Turkey burgers and a bean salad, very healthy and very tasty, right up our alley since we (I - we've discussed Trainer's lack of knowledge in the kitchen) cook in a very similar fashion. We didn't get to bed until midnight, which was really 2am to us, and we were beat. The next morning we were up at 6:30am, really 8:30am in our heads, and stayed in bed and watched CNN. We got out of bed at about 7:30, ate breakfast, chatted with the MIL and her husband and then went for a run. Trainer ran 6 miles, I ran with Money (that will be my name for the step dad) since he's injured and can't run fast and I just DON'T run fast. We went 2 miles. Not bad for vacation right? (Plus I have to add that I ran M, T and W, so these were bonus miles!)
We petered around the house for a while and had to leave by 1pm to drive down to Corvallis. All the papers that morning had mentioned the USC vs Oregon State game. Big time. Trainer called upset that morning and I thought he was dreaming, there was NO WAY that OSU could upset USC this early in the season. But his good mood was infectious and I got into it as well. We ended up leaving around 2pm and got into Corvallis at 3:30. Not bad. Checked in the Super 8...yikes...and drove on to campus. I do have to say that Oregon State is beautiful. I went to Arizona State and all of the buildings are mismatched and it's in the middle of Tempe, a big city. In Corvallis the campus IS the city. And the city was lit up with excitement for the game.
It was pretty cool to see Trainer in this nostalgic state, showing me his old stomping grounds. The first stop was the college bookstore where we could get our Orange on. I bought this really cute layered shirt that is fitted so my boobs looked really good. Next stop was back at the car so we could change. Then we ate at his favorite pizza joint American Dream (you KNEW that we'd have pizza right?), having a slice and a pitcher of beer. OH SO GOOD...the Northwest beer is AMAZING. It was the Deschutes IPA...oh, love...yum. After we were tipsy and full we headed to the stadium. We really didn't get a good look at the tickets so we didn't know where we were sitting, we just figured it would be in the upper deck. Nope. Once we got into the stadium we were directed to our seats...row 11 baby! The entire stadium was dressed in orange, save for a few maroon shirts here and there. Everyone was pretty pumped up. Trainer was in awe of the upgrades to the stadium and the support as well. When he was in school season tickets were FREE and no one showed up. And here we were in a sea of orange. I was pretty impressed.
The Beavs vs The Trojans
And yes, YZB, I totally see the humor in that...haha..Beavers...hehehe...I'm so immature!
The game was AMAZING! I know a lot of you aren't football watching peeps, but that is okay. We (I am siding myself with the Beavs since I'm a fan my marriage - UNLESS they are playing ASU) were up 21-0 at half time and the USC bench looked defeated. After half time we figured that USC would come back strong and they looked it, jumping up and down on the sidelines, getting all excited. But our Beavs stayed strong and didn't let up the defense. The first time USC scored their fans were like..."haha" and we said, "dude, it's only 7 points." In the last 3 minutes of the game the students started climbing down from the stands, just waiting to rush the field. The score was 27-21 at the end and as the clock ticked down the state troopers circled around the goal posts. The kids rushed the field and everyone was high fiving and giving the few SC fans a hard time. We drove back to the motel and dropped off the car, then headed over the the McMenamin's pub so I could drink my Ruby beer. Ahhhh...so tasty. Good beer and victory.
After eating a decent breakfast of oatmeal and fruit we headed to the coast. Since this was our vacation for the year we decided to spend two days of it alone. Newport was just an hour away and we wound through the mountains with the evergreen trees to find ourselves at the coast line. Again, I find it SO amazing that one minute you're in the mountains and then *BAM* you're looking at the Pacific Ocean! We arrived at the hotel early, but they let us check in...and it was a good thing because our brewery tour started at 3pm. We dropped off our stuff and headed back out, traveling a short distance to Rogue brewery. We had been there before in 1996, when it was really, really small operation. My how things change. The tour was cool, nothing too over the top. Afterward we headed upstairs to the bar to sample the product...yummmmm....nothing beats fresh beer, fresh COLD beer. We each started with a pint and then we did a couple of tasters and decided that we should get some beer to go so we could drive back. (Smart, I know...always thinking!)
Back to the hotel we went. As we walked into our room we saw that the toilet was not where it should be...it was IN the room, not the bathroom. There was a call from the front desk and we had to move rooms, just next door so no big deal, it was just weird. We decided to pour our beer into "to go" cups and walk on the beach. THAT was cool. Me and my husband, ocean, beer and the sunset. We were too drunk to go out for dinner and nothing was close so we did what? That's right...called out for pizza. :)
Then back to Portland the next day to spend the rest of our time with the MIL and Money. I call him money b/c that is what Trainer has always called him, not because he HAS money...although he does. We took the long way back to his mom's house, going to see the apartments that we lived in when we were there. They still look cool and I'd still live there if I had to do it again. We stopped at Gubanc's, my favorite restaurant that has my favorite chicken sandwich and then back to Oregon City. His mom made reservations for 7pm that night to have our celebratory dinner for Trainer's new business. They took us to McCormick and Schmidt's. Tasty seafood. I had the salmon Caesar salad, it was okay. This was Saturday. Sunday I ran with Money again and this time I averaged a 9:20 minute mile, which is AMAZING for me, although it was a little challenging. After getting cleaned up we went to pick up Trainer's grandma who still lives in Portland. She is such a cutie. It's a funny thing too, since it is Trainer's dad's mom, not his mom's mom. Trainer's dad lives in AZ and his mom is still close to her ex-MIL and treats her like a queen.
We had dinner and chatted late into the night until we had to take grandma home. Her toilet was running and Trainer offered to fix it for her the next morning, how cute is that? So that is what we did Monday morning after breakfast. The weather was nice the whole time, no rain, although I was hoping for rain...I'm weird like that. After fixing the toilet, Trainer installed a new pump, we went back to the house and headed downtown to shop, there's no sales tax...woohoo. This is where my insecurities were tapped. Before we went out MIL says, "do you a have a jacket?" and I say, "no, I don't think I'll need one." Then she says, "well, you could wear one of mine...although I don't think I have any that would fit you, they'd all be too small. No, maybe one, no...definitely too small." She makes three of these kind of remarks in a matter of five minutes. While I was sitting there eating my oatmeal and biting my lip. UGH! Trainer was sitting right there too so he couldn't deny that she said it.
I know she doesn't mean it in a mean way, but COME ON! Give me a f-ing break! We've established that I'm bigger, drop it. And here's the thing...confession time:
I am 5'6", 159lbs and a size 10. A comfortable size 10, no muffin top, fairly flat tummy. I have an hour glass figure and DD breasts, and a booty to match...otherwise I wouldn't be hourglass. There, it's out there! I'm always trying to lose 10 pounds, always. At my heaviest (when I got married) I was 178 pounds and a size 14...barely. I was out of shape, had no muscle tone. At my lowest weight, 151, I was a size eight and had run a half marathon and the same year rode an 150 mile bike ride through Texas. Moved to Austin and gained 10-12 pounds and now I'm chipping away at it. I do WW Core plan, I run 3-4x a week, I walk 1-2x a week, cycle and lift weights. So...I shouldn't be insecure about my weight. Old demons. When I was 14 I was sunbathing in my back yard, my older brother called me "thunder thighs", I was a size 4-6 and 125 pounds. I hit puberty late and overnight between years 15-16...I got hips, boobs and kept my tiny waist...my best friend teased me and pointed out my boobs in the locker room when we were changing for gym. I was mortified and thought there was something wrong with me. Still 125 pounds and hiding in big clothes. See...some things just don't die.
When we were at the airport Trainer asked me if I wanted anything to eat and I retorted, "Yeah, a big fat Cinnabon for your big fat wife!" And I know it wasn't fair. Poor Trainer. But, he knows that he married both me and my insecurities.
Overall it was a wonderful vacation. I had great espresso all week, tasty beer, ran my fastest mile to date and saw one of the best footballs games in my life. When we arrived home on Tuesday afternoon we picked up our pups and headed home. Oh, comfortable home. The next day you know what happened at work. The other thing that happened...when I came home from work I saw a jewelry box on the counter, a ring box. Trainer rounded the corner into the kitchen sporting a new titanium, beautiful ring on his left finger. He's been wearing it every day and only takes it off for work, which is totally acceptable with what he does.
It's the little things that can make you so happy. So, from today on...I'm looking for the little things.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
What a week. This was the longest "short" week ever. Well, it was a short week for me because we got back on the 30th and I went back to work on Wednesday...Layoff day. And talk about a week?? What about this year?
This year I almost lost my marriage.
This year I almost lost my job.
This year I almost lost myself.
The last one being the most important of course. As most of you know, I still have a job, I'm still married and I'm still surviving.
Last night I had a complete melt down. All of the worries and stress built up and at some point (after a bottle of wine) it all came crashing down. It had to, no one can exist like that...or if they do they end up pretty messed up.
Anyway, here's the scoop on the job crap. In reality I lost my job. I am no longer in finance. I no longer do the things that I've been doing for two and a half years. Also in reality, I'm still employed by the same company and my salary didn't change. I was transferred to another department within the company because "I am a valuable employee who's talents couldn't be let go." That came from my cheesy ass CFO dickhead, mother fuc....I digress... He made it out to sound like he "saved" my job, saved me from the list when in reality (so much reality) he's the one that put me on the chopping block. This week and next were/are filled with meetings with him so I can explain to him how I did HIS job. See, that was the problem with my job. I took on all of the responsibilities that were his to make his job easier. Things so that he could be the CFO and not do day to day or mundane things. Ahhh, now he'll remember what I did and how long things took. Fine, whatever, I have a job.
This was the hard part about my job loss/transfer...there was no mourning period. I know that it sounds ridiculous. Let me try and explain.
I am a person who used to boast about being the type that "worked to live" and not "live to work." Trainer falls into the second category, I never thought I did. Until I realized and said out loud "I have my husband and my work...that's it!" That is when it hit me that I identify myself with my job. I have been in accounting for a long time now. Eight years at my previous company and now two and a half here. I pick things up quickly, I'm good with number and decent with financial writing. So, finance was a good and easy fit for me. Now I've been thrown to the other side of the cube farm. I won't socialize with my finance buddies any longer, my teammates. I have new teammates. I have a new cube, I have a new title (although they haven't decided on what that is...), I have tasks??? Tasks. Weird. I lost my comfort zone.
Trainer says that if I really don't like it that I can quit. Which is a nice statement, but of course I can't quit. I'm very lucky, you see my company pays for both mine AND Trainer's benefits. All of them. Not one penny comes out of my paycheck. Now, if I were to find another job, take a pay cut and have to wait for benefits certain things wouldn't be covered - ie; blood clots. Small problem. Also, if I got a new job I'd be starting over making much less than I am now, clawing my way back up. And really, I am starting a new job, I just get to keep the money and the benefits. Are you sitting there asking - What the fuck is her problem?
I know a part of me sounds like a spoiled child. I should get what I want when I want...haha...that's not the case. It was just a shock to leave my job, go on vacation and to be put into a new position that I know nothing about. Round and round I could go...and went last night...circle, circle, circle...
Well, I have a baby shower to go to today. Woohoo. (That was a completely flat emotion, just in case you didn't get it.) But, it's for Home Girl and she's a fave of mine so I'll go and be merry and try to sneak out early. No drinking...I must not drink today...or tomorrow. Damn.
There is more to the melt down than just my job, but that was the bulk of it. I just wanted to cry and rant like a five year old and I did.
Once I get the hang of my new job I should be able to blog more often, let's hope that I pick up on this stuff in the next week. I know you're ALL dying for more from RockinAustin right? :) Peace out kids, I'll chat at you later.