Sunday, December 27, 2009

Some days I realize that I'm a jackass

Yes, me...a jackass, selfish, self-centered and oblivious. Please, let me explain. See, some times I get really caught up in my own life, I think most of us do, however I do this when my very best friends are going through hell and back. They don't really NEED my support as all my girlfriends are powerhouse women who shoulder the world and then some, but it doesn't mean that they don't appreciate the support.

It seems this year has been riddled with difficult beginnings. I think I had all of my "difficulties" last year and I was just enjoying this year for being fabulous and filled with nothing but simple peace. Then I think about these things:

Sexy Hippy's baby was born with something, we still don't have real answers, but she came out of the womb like a wet noodle. Precious little babe, adorable and eyes that are so wise that you just know that this isn't her first go around. She was in the NICU for 10 long, excruciating, weeks. She's already had two major surgeries, one being a tracheotomy so her parents can't even hear her cry or babble. But they just look at her and she communicates with their hearts. SH has a toddler at home, a little cutie pie that is handling this with some grace that most of us don't possess. The baby was able to come home this week. I don't know how they do it, I mean obviously they ARE doing it, I just can't imagine how. I'm a jackass for being so far away and unable to help. I just send her loving sentences on Facebook of all thing...jeezus, what a jackass...Facebook.

Legs' baby boy #2 was born with a bilateral cleft lip and pallet. When you look at the scale from okay to worst case scenario he was the latter. But this baby boy is the sweetest, most charming baby I've ever met. I'm sure he gets the charm from his dad...swear to goodness it oozes out of his pores, and this baby...he has it, that gift of charm. He's been through five major surgeries this year (I think it's 5, it may be 6), the last one being on his birthday. One, I'm a super jackass for not sending a card for his 1st birthday and TWO, even more of a jackass for not knowing that he had this last surgery coming up. I mean, Legs is a mover, a shaker, a mommy with a purpose. She works full time at an oil company here in TX, which is high stress. She commutes over an hour each way and yet still makes it home in time to pick up both her boys from school/daycare with a smile on her face and an ear for her older toddler who has the vocabulary of a 6th grader. He's 3.

There are other stories of jackassedness (like that word?) but these two stand out. I think mostly because they are dealing with little beings that really can't communicate. It's hard enough when the baby is a newborn and all you can do is guess at what the cries are for (so I've been told, my babies scratch at the door), but when they can't make a hard is that?? When they just look at you with love in their eyes like THEY are trying to comfort YOU? How do they do it?

The kicker with these two cases? I know they read this superficial blog of mine. My trivial little stories. I don't know, maybe it helps by taking them away from the seriousness of their lives. Maybe they read my stories and laugh at the situations I find myself in? Maybe they celebrate with me when I've found the peace in my life that they've wanted for me for so long? I don't know what it is, but they always manage to write a kind word to me, to let me know that they are there for me. How fucking ridiculous right? THEY are there for ME? Seriously.

And I guess this is just my way of saying, I'm there for you too. I'm always here. If you need to call and just cry on the phone I can do that. If you need me to drive 3 hours in the night to take you out for a glass of wine, I can do that. If you need me to fly out to see you and take you out for a margarita (just one, you're still pumping after all!), I can do that. I can do whatever you need me to do my fabulous ladies, anything at all.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry December 25th!

What a wonderful day it has been thus far. It's only 10am here and I've had a fabulous x-mas. Hoe left yesterday (more on that perhaps tomorrow or the next day.) After we dropped Hoe and her beau off we went to eat at Galaxy Cafe (who has the BEST mac n' cheese ever!) and after that Trainer asked, "Anything else?" We were somehow strategically standing in front of the Flying Saucer. Huh, wonder how that happened? I said, "Well, you're probably going to run so we can just head home." He looked at me and said, "It's cold, windy and shitty out. I'm not running. Do you want to have a beer?" Eagerly I nodded my head YES and we had a beer...or two...or more.

I love having company, LOVE it, truly no reflection of the visit. However, living a certain way (like with just your husband and two dogs who could really give a rip if you get up in the middle of the night naked to get more know, the little things) company can make your life a little weird. So we had beer and a great conversation about the upcoming year, the past years and our distant future. It was a great ending to a nice visit. Then we were home at a little after 5 (yes, I had my first beer around 1:30pm) just in time to feed Fifi, you know how she loves her food! I popped a pizza in the toaster oven (still my favorite appliance) and drank another beer while rockin' out to Godsmack. Then we sat down to watch some more episodes of Dexter, a new show that Hoe turned us on to. We started watching at around 6:45 and Trainer was out like a light by 7:30. No, we didn't have THAT much beer, I guess waking up at 4:30am with very little sleep that week took its toll.

Well, I wasn't going to re-watch the episodes by myself so I ran a nice hot bath and read my book. We had stripped the sheets so by the time I went to bed it was just with the comforter. But that was okay. Trainer slept just over 12 hours, got up, fed the pups, took them out, made coffee and brought me breakfast in bed. And it wasn't just oatmeal! Eggs, toast with pb and a half an orange. I even forgot that it was Christmas. We didn't exchange gifts this year (see post about financial planning), but you know what? It wasn't missed. We didn't rush out to see what his mom had sent us, we didn't have all this paper to clean up, we just chilled with the pups and had an awesome morning.

Now I'm just loading all my Starbuck's gift cards onto one card. I figured, 'Hey, no time like the present to write a blog!' So here it is. My non-Christmas post. My 'You know what? Life is awesome!' post. My 'You know what the best part of today is? Hanging out with my husband!' post. Here I leave you with your loved ones and hope that you are having a fantabulous day, just like me. Merry Christmas peeps. Even if you don't celebrate December 25th, go out and celebrate the day, just today. Love, peace and all that good stuff.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

The upcoming weekend

Oh, you have no idea how excited I am for this upcoming visit from my Hoe. Well, maybe you do since I've been talking about it for some time now! Over the time of my blog I'm sure I've told you a little about Hoe, and so you're thinking...'Big deal, a nice little visit.' For me it's a big deal. Let me take you back... *cue mystery music with sparkly sounds taking us back....way back*

I met Hoe when I was almost 4 years old. My family had just moved to Colorado, had built a house in a new neighborhood, and of course I knew no one. Not that 3-4yr olds have a big group of friends, but I was out of my element. Hoe's family had just moved to Colorado from upstate New York. I remember walking around the block of my new neighborhood and going up to this door, ringing the doorbell and waiting. A beautiful lady opened the door and I said, "Do you have any little girls?" She smiled, let me in and there were two girls there. An older one and one that was about my height, my age, and she had a shy impish smile. We hit it off right away. I'm sure my mom was there some place, how irresponsible would it be to let your 4yr old daughter walk around the block by herself, but I don't remember that part.

Fast forward a year and I remember us walking to kindergarten together that first day. Her sister, evil just like my older brother, walking ahead of us, pretending not to know us. (And yes, these were the years where kids actually walked to themselves...almost a mile!) We were in the same class, not to happen again until much later, and we stood outside the classroom door, all lined up waiting to go in. I remember that afternoon, notes pinned to our dresses and me falling down, seeing blood and throwing up. I remember her being there with me the entire time.

Elementary - We started brownies together and stayed in scouts longer than most people would imagine. I remember at Easter that we would have matching dresses and at the start of school we had the same Keds shoes. I remember playing on the playground together, even when we were in different classrooms. Throughout elementary she had the BEST toys...she would get barbies and I got a little brother. We played at her house a lot because she had the goods. But every day after school she was at my house until her parents came home, my mom watched the neighbor kids.

Jr. High - Oh my Hoe wanted to be popular, she already was. She tried out different groups, the stoner group, the intellectual group, the music geek group...she was everywhere. I was solidly in with the intellectual/music geeky group. We still had sleep overs at her house, the same as we did when we were little. What I know now, that I couldn't have known then, was she was in a complicated household. I think as kids we really don't pay attention or think about other people's households. We assume that they are all the same. My dad worked nights and on his days off had a beer. My mom worked at the school, was home with us all the time and went to all of my events. Her dad worked nights as well and when he was off had more beers than he should. Her mom worked an 8-5 job, if not longer hours, and was hardly there for her events. Her parents didn't get along in the private space of their home. If you saw them at a party you'd never know it. A case of 'let's stay together for the kids.'

High School - Oh the drama of high school. Hoe was still on her quest to be popular (again, she already was) and I was still in my same little group of friends. I had a lot of friends. Hoe and I were still best friends though. We rode to school together, we always had each others back, and our household situations were still the same. We only had a couple of major fights throughout this time. One was because I couldn't resist teasing her until her breaking point, that was when she threw me up against a locker...and everyone got mad at her. Whoops. One other time was over a boy, she didn't want him, we started dating and she decided that was not a good idea...just because she didn't want him didn't mean anyone else (let alone me!) should have him. But we dated and became serious. Then....

The summer after HS - Hoe used to go back to upstate NY every summer and she asked me to go. I never thought my mom would let me as she was the Queen of No. However, surprisingly to everyone she let me go...for the entire summer. Hoe had her objectives for the summer. 1. Breakup me and the boy 2. Get me drunk and 3. Get me laid. I'll tell you that she was successful in all three. And that summer shaped who I am today. I broke up with said 'boy', met a new boy who I fell in love with (and suffered my first heartbreak later that year), lost my virginity to that boy, and drank my first sips of alcohol. Not all in one night mind you!

College - Hoe and I went to different schools. I wanted to, HAD to, get away from Colorado. NEEDED to get away from everyone and everything I knew. She went to a smaller school in Durango, I went to the big-ass campus of Arizona State. I was a number, she was a force. But, we remained close and talked on the phone a lot. She came to visit me, I went to visit her. We could go months without talking, but when we did it was like nothing had been missed. We worked summer jobs together when we were back in town for those months. She got me a construction job, we were flaggers, in tight jeans and t-shirts, downtown Denver, driving the menfolk crazy.

After college - Hoe went back to Denver and worked various jobs and finally got into the industry that she She climbed her way up, the hard way, and is now a very successful very recognizable figure in the world of DJ. Me, well...I majored in music, started waiting tables my last semester of school and finally (FINALLY) found my true rebellion. I graduated and stayed at the restaurant, meeting a new crowd of people who spent all their free time and money on having a good time. I let loose, like really let loose for about 6 months. During that time I met Trainer and how we got together? Yeah, I've covered that right? Obviously we got married and then bought a house. Hoe came to visit me once I after we bought the house, she met my pups and I had a girls night for her. And then I moved once more.

Present day - See, we have this special history. We have dark, deep, secrets that only we know and only we will ever know. Not the kind of secrets that you are thinking. Mostly about our families, our lives, the heartache and triumphs. The ones that usually go down in your journal because you are afraid to share it out loud and be criticized. I love her so much, just like a sister. That's why this means so much to me, this little visit. And bonus, I get to meet her new guy, I think he's the one who actually made this happen. So I'm grateful and thankful that he's in her life so we have this time to make more memories.

Future - One day Hoe and I will own a house together in upstate NY and we'll be rocking our chairs on the porch. We'll hoot and holler at the young men driving by in their truck or on their Harley's. We'll go to the grave with most of those secrets and memories. And we'll always be together.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Quick Fix

Okay, my Hoe blog is coming later, but had to do a quick one.

Can I just say that financial planning sucks? I know it will be good for the future...yada, yada, yada, but it really sucks right now. Be prepared to read about the most boring person around! We're going to find a way (with the help of our beloved Financial Planner) to put an additional $500 towards our credit debt. Seriously. Not sure where that's going to come from!!! (Actually, I'm pretty sure it will come from: Beer, wine, eating out, concerts, movies and anything involving fun.)

Later kids.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Getting to know me

Okay, so I'm totally ripping this off of an email that The Saint sent to me. I love these little email things that tell you about your friends. So, here it is:

01. High heels or boots? Boots, cute ones, with heels
02. What time did you get up this morning? Uh, 7:30am
03. Diamonds or Pearls? Diamonds, pearls never did it for me
04. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? The Hangover, I love stupid/raunchy humor
05. What is your favorite TV show? Right now it would be House, and has been for a while
06. What do you usually have for breakfast? Quaker Old Fashioned Oats with a tsp of honey
07. What is your middle name? Jean...I know right? I'm half Mexican and my name is very 'farmer'
08. What food do you dislike? Hard one, there aren't many I dislike...I'll say liver (bleech!)
09. What is your favorite CD? Oh jeez, uh...Sheryl Crow, self named album
10. What characteristic do you despise? Self righteousness
11. Favorite clothing? Jeans (ratty old ones) and a sweatshirt
12. Anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? St. John still has my heart, but I'd be willing to find another beachy city...perhaps in Europe
13. Are you an organized person? If you saw my desk you'd think not, however...very organized in my head and thoughts
14. Where would you retire to? Oooh, tough one. Probably San Diego
15. What was your most recent memorable birthday? My 35th last year, Trainer threw me a party!
16. What are you going to do when you finish this? Continue working until we leave for our company Holiday party that is being thrown downtown! WOOHOO!
17. Furthest place you are sending this? Well, since this will travel via blog who knows?
18. When is your birthday? August far away....
19. Are you a morning person or a night person? I'm actually a DAY person, but if I had to choose between the two it would be night. Mornings and I do not get along.
20. What is your shoe size? 8 to 8 1/2
21. Do you own any animals? Uh, I believe they own me. Yes, two Akita pups
22. Any news you'd like to share? Well my Hoe is coming to visit starting next Sunday!!! (She is the start of my blog for tomorrow)
23. What did you want to be when you were little? A concert pianist
24. What is a day on the calendar that you are looking forward to? December 19th when Hoe gets here!!!
25. Do you wish upon stars? Yep, and I make a wish any time I see the clock hit 5:55
26. If you were a crayon what color would you be? Burnt Orange (and it has nothing to do with UT, this would be my standard answer going back years and years!)
27. How is the weather right now? Fricken COLD!
28. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Smiley at work
29. Favorite soft drink? I really don't like soda, but if I had to choose I would say Dr. P
30. Favorite restaurant? Ooh, hard one...right now it would be the Flying Saucer, although more of a bar than restaurant.
31. Hair color? Plain ol' brown, and I dye it on occasion to be a darker brown
32. What was your favorite toy as a child? Probably my piano or my books, I know, not really toys, but I didn't have much in the way of traditional toys.
33. Summer or winter? Winter I think, really it would be Fall...but that's not a choice
34. Chocolate or vanilla? Swirl (me too Sexy Hippy!)
35. Coffee or tea? Hands down COFFEE - bring on the JAVA
36. Boy, do I wish I was still... Hmmm, wish I was still at home reading my book and not having to "work"
37. When was the last time you cried? Uh, probably when I was PMSing and a cotton commercial aired
38. What is under your bed? My winter running/cycling clothes
39. What did you do last night? Worked until 7, came home and made rolled tacos and started on our financial packet. Fun. Fun.
40. What are you afraid of? Failing
41. Salty or sweet? Mixed, one after the other!
42. Best quality you have? Listening and being open
43. How many years at your current job? 3 1/2 (feels like 21 as in dog years!)
44. Favorite day of the week? Thursday!
45. Do you like finding these things out from your friends? Of course!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The ...'to be continued' Saturday night post

I'll try to make this's going to be tough. Look out for blog-o-mania this week, lots of stuff going on!

Budgeting - Well, Trainer and I have been pretty lax about our budget lately and then we received a letter from our CC company about them raising our interest rate by 4%. Mind you we have good credit and we always pay our bills on time so I was SHOCKED to see this increase. We have until January to either continue or opt out. SO, I spent all of the weekend before last making a new budget and seeing if we could fit everything into our plan and still save etc. Then I decided that we needed the help of a professional. Trainer agreed and even had some questions of his own about our retirement.

Financial Planning - We enlisted the help of a professional. He was likable right off the bat, making me feel pretty comfortable laying all the cards out on to the table. I have a feeling that I'm not going to LOVE everything he suggests, but at least we'll be on some kind of track to get where we'd like to be (debt free...some day) in the future. If we can pay off a big chunk of debt, fix the house, sell the house, move and start saving for retirement in the next 5 years I'll be a very, very happy girl! Albeit boring in the mean time as I won't be spending money.

Volunteering - So the Machine (new friend, training person from T3) got me to sign up to volunteer for the Jingle Bell race in our area. I worked the packet pick-up. The cool thing about volunteering for this particular company is that you get points, and those points turn into race fee discounts! How cool is that? The actual volunteering was boring, there were a lot of us and not a lot of people. But, I did my couple of hours and had the rest of the day to....drink.

Flying Saucer - This is our favorite bar...currently. They have about 60+ beers on tap and about every bottle you could think of. I'm fond of dark beer, porters have been the choice of late, however the Saucer was out of my favorite. So I started sampling and the bartender asked if I had tried stouts before. Besides Guinness in a Black and Tan...I'm a stout virgin. OMG, was it ever good to give it up to Young's Double Chocolate Stout. I layered it with the Rogue Hazelnut and wah-lah, my new favorite beer was born. I mean, dark beer that tastes like chocolate, coffee and hazelnuts? Hello??? Did I mention that we started drinking at 3ish?

Frozen Pizza - This was our dinner after we got home from the Saucer. I popped it in while Trainer set up the Kissopoly table. We continued to drink at home where we had some porter and ale and no one had to drive. ;) (Safety first!) Dinner of champions.

Kissopoly - So this wasn't like our usual game play. One, it was too cold out to make the necessary outfit changes. Two, we were both pretty tired. So it ended up being 2 games, I won the first round, he won the second and the bed won out over anything more fun for the evening.

Sunday - However, Sunday morning proved to be awesome. I was cleaning out my drawers, getting rid of old clothes and putting things in neat piles. I wish I were a neat person by nature, but it's just not in me! Trainer is super-neat, so really I try to be neat for him. Anyway, I was doing this and apparently it was a turn on. Holy wow, I'm going to have to find a reason to clean out the drawers and closets every weekend!

After we made lunch at home Sunday (we blew our entire eating out budget for the week at the Saucer - whoops!) I got an email from the Machine and she wanted me to ride with her. OMG, I had my ass handed to me by a 50+ year old. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, it just made me realize that I want to grow up to be like her. We rode 40 painful (for me) miles, and 20 of those were going back with a head wind. I barely made it back home, not enough nutrition or fluids on the ride, and Trainer had to make dinner. Nothing like a good ass kicking to end your weekend eh?

Well, it's getting late, I need to get home and I have SO much more to say! Until tomorrow peeps!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Saturday night!


Financial Plan


Flying Saucer

Frozen Pizza


More in the morning....that would be Sunday some time...

Friday, December 4, 2009

It DID snow!

Okay, just a really cute picture of me and my little buddy, this is Little Zen, and he is the best! You can't really see the snow, but how adorable is this picture??

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Let it snow!

Okay, is "supposed to" snow tomorrow. During the day even, yep, like between the hours of 12 - 6pm. In Austin. Texas. I'm NOT buying it. It seems like no matter where you live they try to make headlines out of the weather, as if there is nothing else to talk about. Huh. 'SNOW STORM 2009!!" I can see it now. And we're only supposed to get 1/2" to 1" at best. Can't wait to see if it happens.

The only reason it might snow tomorrow? Trainer and I have concert tickets to see KISS tomorrow night with Big Country and Brassy. I can't remember if this will be my 7th or 8th KISS concert, huh, I'll have to look. (Trainer keeps all of his ticket stubs) Super excited about the concert, I even have a little babydoll tee to wear, courtesy of Trainer! I'll take pics, well maybe...if my allergies have subsided by then. I have NO idea WTH I'm allergic to right now, but I look and sound horrible. I wake up with 'drug head' know, all fuzzy and puffy? Hmmm...snow would probably be good, kill whatever is killin' me!

Okay, sorry...short blog, I actually got busy at work...annoying, but it's job security you know!?!