And...we're back! Again

Okay, so I don't have the best track record for blogging. *Le Sigh*

I think I'll start the new chapter with - A year to remember...my 37th year.

As we know, if you follow me, my b-day was just a week or so ago. The big 38, so I've decided to do a year in review. What did I learn this year? Well, I learned that grief and depression suck. I learned that when something bad happens it really can get worse. I also learned that when you feel like you are alone, which you are because you've been isolating yourself, there really are people there waiting for you to rejoin life....right where you left off.

Actually year 37 started off awesome with a 65 mile bike ride on my actual b-day. I completed a half Iron Man in under 7 hours. I steadily worked at my debt (which is still there, but dwindling.) And then...well G-buddy passed away. We won't rehash, I've written a lot about it already.

I read a lot of books, I took about 5-6 months off of training...well, really life. :) And then I tried to start back again...and again....and again....and I keep on trying. But I found that this is the key. You have to keep trying. I love my life, my husband, my pups...I mean, I have it really great. So it's worth getting up every day and trying to make myself better.

Today I had lunch with my Coachy Coach (she's so effing adorable) and she was trying to get 'What motivates me' and it is making me think. Self analysis, I know I've been down this road before, but delve into it we must.

I am only competitive with things that I am good at....say like music (although I don't know if that is true any more either! HA!) Obviously I'm not competitive with triathlon. At least not with anyone but myself.

I don't know if it's because I am a Virgo or that I was born to my mother, but I am extremely hard on myself and want to please people. If I don't make a goal I feel like I've disappointed someone...how ridiculous is this??? Ri-dic-u-lous. So each week I get workouts and I can complete them however I want, but lately I've only been doing about 50% or less...and I feel bad about that. This shouldn't be stressful...I do this for FUN...HELL I PAY FOR THIS SHIT! Okay, so how to re-frame my mind, how to get this to be enjoyable again? Suggestions? Ha, actually suggestions wont work, it has to come from within, I know that. Ugh.

So here it is...next year I am pre-training for the 2013 IMAZ. Along the way I am going to set some goals and see how it goes. Here are a splattering of goals for 2012:

-Run Ladera Norte, no walking (really effing steep hill in the NW Hills area)

-Run the 3M 1/2 marathon in January

-Do a Spring race, never done one before

-Do at least 2 charity rides (or non charity, but just fun rides) of 70+ miles in the Spring

-Participate in the Splash and Dash series, they are cheap, fun and I'll get pummeled in the water.

That's it for now, will fill in more along the way. Sorry for the long ass post, but hell...I've been gone for a bit!

'Til later my sweets!! Rockin