Now, don't get the wrong idea here...I wasn't parenting, my parents were in town for 10 days. I'm going to see if I can remember the "highlights" of their trip up to this point.
"My mother...the travel agent for all my guilt trips."
Day 1 - Monday of last week. I was very excited at this point, my parents only come to visit once a year since they drive down...and that is why they stay for so long. I mean, who wants to drive 20 hours just to go back again in a couple of days? They arrive and everything is okay for like 10 minutes. She starts...yes, I'm talking about my mother...everything that comes out of her mouth is negative, or even if it is something good it comes out sounding negative. 'No worries', I think, 'it was just a long drive, she's just irritated.' Tomorrow will be great!
Day 2 - Tuesday. We decided to go up to the outlets. I needed to get Trainer new work clothes and a new stop watch since his stopped working. Shopping with my mom is a marathon event. Wine is opened early.
Day 3 - Wednesday. Today we went to the "big box" stores. Costco, Sams and the MEGA Whole Foods that we have here in Austin. (Which is a fabulous store, come check it out...hint, hint.) My legs were aching after Costco...then we had to go to Sams to see if they had the right kind of oatmeal (quick oats) that Costco didn't have. Although I could have just gone to the store...but no, I needed the year supply apparently. My friend the Democrat came over for an after work HHH, that is Happy Hour at Home, so I had some relief from entertaining alone. Poor thing had to listen to my mother talk about her home town as if she knew it better than the Democrat. I just sat there...drinking.
Day 4 - Thursday. We went visiting wineries in Hill Country, which is just an hour away from Austin. Beautiful scenery. The first place that we went was an olive farm, very cool, but small...and of course mom had to make some remark about it...dad just rolled his eyes. A good start to the day. Mom wanted to start wine tasting at 10:30...hmmm...I think not. I drove on the way up (our destination was Fredricksburg) and dad drove on the way back so I could drink. On the way home mom asked about what we should do for dinner and I asked what they wanted. Mom says, "I don't know...something light...like a salad." So, I think about all of the places that we're going to pass and she says, "How about we pick up some Rudy's?" Rudy's is bbq, and not light...at all. Trainer was home early so we picked him up and went to Rudy's...where you order meat by the pound.
Day 5 - Friday. Four days is usually my limit. Going on day five and it happens to be a holiday. What to do on a holiday?? Well, we went to the liquor store (do you see a theme here?) and bought stuff to make Mojito's, and beer for dad/Trainer. Then we went downtown to my favorite hamburger place, Hut's, and then we went to check out Trainer's new training facility up in Lakeway. After we arrived home my mom and I read books and the boys watched baseball. Trainer made Mojito's and they turned out pretty good. All was quiet until about 9pm...that's when we hear this 'tap, tap, tap,tap...' It sounded like someone was tapping their fingernail on the front door. Fifi and Fido went NUTS! They stood there in attack mode, barking at the front door. It was the fireworks of course and I had to let them poke their heads through the door to let them see that there was no intruder on the porch. Boy, I wouldn't want to break into my house and face those two...
Day 6 - Saturday. Yep...day six. Trainer had to work in the morning so we chilled out at home and waited for him. This is the day that we were heading down to Houston to see my dad's cousins. They're a riot, I've talked about them before...pretty redneck, but they're family and my dad LOVES seeing them and I love seeing my dad happy. We made the 3 hour trek down there and they were ready for us with beer and wine. They'd been cooking dinner for 48 hours, slow cooked bbq, no one does it better. We ate and drank, and drank...and drank. Luckily we were spending the night.
Day 7 - Sunday. The next morning we had a really fattening breakfast and just after noon we headed back to A-town. Stopping at a couple of places on the way back we didn't get back home until 5 and just had leftovers for dinner. The pups were glad to see us and I was glad to be home. No wine was opened. Trainer had work to do on the computer and the three of us just read.
Day 8 - Monday. Seriously. This was my last official day off from work. Got up early and walked the pups and I drug my mom along with me. After the pups were walked I asked if she wanted to go for another couple of miles, she agreed and we went on a loop around the neighborhood. I was hoping that she would get her "talk" on and out of her system. Boy did she, and that was fine until she started complaining about my dad. THAT was difficult and I think my silence was enough for her to know that it wasn't okay to talk about him. I mean, he's my DAD. I want a friendship with my mom...but not like that. Anywhoo...we got back and had breakfast out with both of them and then we got dad ready to meet with Trainer. My dad wants to get into shape so I thought it would be good if he got a session in with a real trainer. We dropped dad off and then mom and I went here and there. All in all it was a 'eh' day.
Day 9 - Tuesday. Back at work. I don't know what is worse at this point. I had a crap load of emails to catch up on and so much had been happening at work. I was glad that I had the week prior off...crazy c-level people were just that...crazy. I worked a full day and while I was there my dad was a busy baker at home. He was making banana bread, lemon bars and brownies for the office. How cute is that? The Democrat came by to pick up something that she had left the week prior so of course I had to open a bottle of wine. ;)
Day 10 - Wednesday. Back at work again, but only for a half day. My mom wanted to get her hair cut and colored and had me make an appointment with my stylist. I asked her, "Do you know what you want her to do?" Mom, "No, that is what she gets paid for." Oh boy. Maybe I should have picked a random stylist so when I go back I won't be mortified. It turned out okay, though it was touch and go for a minute there. After my stylist was done she asked if mom liked it...and here was her reply, "Well, I like the color...I'll have to wait and do the hair myself to see if I like that." O.M.G. Trainer had to work that night so we went to a restaurant that was close by, then came home and the parents packed up the car. They were getting up at o'dark thirty to beat traffic in the morning. No wine this night.
Day 11 - Thursday. That's right...o'dark thirty arrived and they were ready to go. It was 4:30 on the dot when they pulled out of the driveway. I made them some strong coffee and wished them a safe travel back home. I was exhausted, and not just from getting up at 4 in the morning.
I love my mom, I love my dad, I love that they came all the way down to Austin to see me.
But, I love my house, my freedom, my lifestyle that allows me to walk naked throughout the house...yeah, until next year. I'll drink to that.