GGW...part II

Ok, ok...I'll finish this up. I know, I know...I'm a slacker and have been *gasp* working. :)

So, let's see...where did I leave off??? That's right, Saturday at the pool...massages...

Saturday was a pool, massage, relaxing kind of day. As I said, we had a method for the massage. When Sexy Hippy was up getting her massage the girls in the pool (me included) were getting hot so we decided to go back to the room and chat and possibly play games while we waited for The Director to get back. This way we could all get "gussied" up for the evening. While we were waiting a group of us decided (really I decided) that I needed to get my Tarot cards read. The Executive has a talent, she is seriously a medium and I trust her implicitly.

Have you ever done Tarot? If you haven't, you should. Some people don't approve of it, for some religious reason or another, but I'm not religious and I think it's a gift. When you ask a question and open yourself up an answer will present itself in many different forms. Tarot is one of those forms. Anywhoodle...my cards were what I expected. Lot's of decisions to be made about my future...in fact that was my significator card, which is what is happening at the present moment. Now, I wasn't shocked by my cards, after all there is a lot going on, but I was really hoping that the first card (the one that said that I was going to have to make some sort of decision) was in the outgoing spot. But, apparently I haven't fully made my decision yet. Cards are funny, some times they are relative to what is happening right now and some times they take 3-6 months to play out. Usually you'll look back at your reading a while later and go "Ah-hah! That's what they were saying." You can't live your life by the cards, meaning you can't make something happen that is in the cards, just like you can't live your life by what your monthly horoscope says. These things are references, guidance, but not hard decisions, you still have to do the "work" yourself.

After my tarot reading I received a wonderful 15 minute head massage, it was divine, I needed more time, but we were OUT of time. We had dinner reservations at 7:30 at Sam's Cafe`, which was an okay place, not spectacular, but a place that could accommodate the 7 of us at that time. It was also just across the street from the movie theatre where we were going to see Sex and the City - the movie! We got some great shots (pictures not drinks...) at dinner and then headed over to the theatre. We arrived a little early so we had our choice of seats and picked a row not too far up and of course we had our feet on the chairs in front of us. People started filling in and by the time the movie started the theatre was still pretty empty. The Director had her feet on the chair and this couple decided to sit right in front of her...again, the theater was EMPTY, and they looked at her so she put her feet down. Once the movie started she put her feet up again, gently, and the guy turned around and chewed her out! I'm serious, he actually almost threatened her for having her feet up on the chair. Now...if you were in a theater that was not very full...would you really sit in front of a row of SEVEN women? We all wanted to kick this guys ass...and probably would have if he would have tried anything else. What a bastard.

The movie was great, more like a really LONG episode of Sex and the City. There were tears, and not just from us. There were points where you could hear the universal snivel. When the movie was over we walked back to the cars, went back to the room and started talking. Our poor Executive got sick. She's allergic to peppers and apparently at this Sam's Cafe her meal had more than a few. She tried to eat around them...but you know how that goes. Needless to say, we cleared out of the room and went to sleep. Soul Mate wanted to talk so we stayed up talking for another hour or so. I thought that Tiny Dancer was sleeping, but I found out the next day that it wasn't the case. SO, my apologies to Tiny Dancer for keeping you awake darling! (She's pregnant and needs all the Zzz's she can get!) It was a good talk that Soul Mate and I had and it made her feel better about some things that she's been worrying about. I think my dear friends worry about me being "on my own" in Austin. But, as I remind them...this is not the first time I've been on my own.

We went down to the pool for a little last "hurrah" and then went our separate ways. It was sad, but in a good way. Hopefully we'll continue the tradition of meeting once a year. And yes...I realize that this means that I have to go to the desert in the heat of the summer once a year...ugh.

The Saint was tasked with babysitting me for the rest of the day since my flight didn't leave until 7ish that night. We went to Buffalo Exchange (which if you haven't been there lately...check it out!) and she was overly generous as usual. I ended up with a hot looking pair of 7 for All Mankind jeans that I promised to send her in a couple of months. Although, I don't think they'll fit her since she's a skinny mini now. Sexy Hippy had us over for dinner, it was a nice refreshing salad and really hit the spot, but what was even better was spending time with her mini-diva in training. Her little peanut is SO adorable. And after that I went to the airport and waited for my flight to take me home.

It was a wonderful trip. I loved every minute of it and made me realize how I survived living in Phoenix for that long! Now, there is no way that I'm going back, but I do miss my friends. My friends that represent my heart and soul. The ones that know me better than myself. I miss being there for them in the physical sense, being able to go over when one of them is having a problem with a bottle of wine and a strong shoulder to cry on. I miss being there to encourage them, I miss being there to see their babies come into the world. I miss seeing them happy because that makes me happy. So, all of my dear friends (this includes you Sports Mama and Yoga Babe), remember that you have something in Phoenix that is precious. You have your friends, your support, your hearts and souls that help you live when you can't find the strength. Remember that I'm only a phone call away. Love, Me.

Girls Gone Wild...again!! (A mulit part story)

Wow. Yep, that's all I have to say about the weekend.

Hahahaha, right...we all know me a little better than that. This may be a multi-day post because there was so much fun and fabulousness (is that a word? - Executive? Soul Mate?) that it cannot be contained in one posting. FYI - I'm writing this at 11am on Monday at my kitchen table with a cup of strong coffee and a croissant from P. Croissants that I brought back from AZ. I'm still in my pj's and threw a ball cap on to contain my hair.

Friday - I was right, I couldn't sleep Thursday night and probably got four hours of sleep before the alarm went off and I had Trainer yelling, "are you almost ready," every five minutes. I finished packing in the garage because Fido freaks out at the sight of a suitcase. He's a bit of a momma's boy... I get to the airport and find that the security line is insane. Now, Austin is a tiny, tiny airport and we never have to wait in a security line. The most amazing thing happened though, and I wish I was the one who did it... I was standing in the middle of the line that was, again, LONG, and a soldier in full dress came up from the ticket counter, looked at the line and said, "Shoot" (that's not really what he said, but you get the idea). He was obviously cutting it close to catch his flight and again, Austin being a tiny airport, doesn't move it along at a fast pace. The guy standing next to me said, "Hey" and waited for the soldier to acknowledge him and then said, "Take my place." The soldier did and the other guy went to the back of the line. I was almost in tears. THEN a family that was in the ropes already said, "Come over here, come, come..." and they let him cut in front of them. I was just so proud to be in a crowd of people who were so kind and giving. I'm pretty sure that wouldn't have happened at all the airports around the country. I made it through security with plenty of time to spare and sat down waiting to get on the plane...which of course was delayed. BUT, it was okay because I was going to see all my friends in AZ and I was in a great mood.

We boarded with no problems, I pre-board to get the front seat on the isle, and the flight was great. I made it! I call The Saint and she came to pick me up. After I dropped her off I headed out to BFE to see Sports Mama. I had forgotten how big the Phoenix area was. You get spoiled in Austin, as nothing is more than 15 minutes away. We had an awesome visit and the promise of a good home cooked country breakfast was delivered. I had my favorite breakfast of eggs over medium, hash browns and toast. My dear friend is looking for a job in property management at the present moment so if any of you know anyone in the industry...she's have 14 years of experience and is wonderful with customer service! (That's my unsanctioned plug for her!) After breakfast I went over to see Yoga Zen Babe and her little one. He is SO cute and very astute. He looks at you and scrunches his little brows together and looks oh so serious...then he cracks up and the dimples just brighten the room. Adorable. We chatted for a little bit and then I headed to Soul Mate's house to see her and her babies. She has twinkies (twins) and my adorable little Pumpkin. The twins are just 15 months and Pumpkin is four years old today! By the end of the visit I had them all on my lap and they were fighting for my attention. See, trickery, that's how you become popular. ;) HAHAHAHA!

Once that visit was over and I had my two pounds of coffee (thanks to Soul Mate) safely in my bag, I headed back to pick up The Saint. I hit a traffic jam on I-10 and remembered exactly why I love Austin and it's small town/big city vibe. The Saint had printed out directions and we headed to the Biltmore. By this time all the girls were on their way and calling to see when we'd all arrive. It was so exciting, the anticipation of all 7 of us being together at the same time. This hasn't happened since I left Arizona...crazy. We got a little lost, Google maps...sheesh. By the time we arrived we had a caravan of cars and I jumped out to greet everyone. Tight hugs and kisses and 100 degree heat...yes, let's move it inside. The Biltmore is an amazing property, just gorgeous and take pride in their customer service. We made it up to the rooms, which were awesome, and started chatting it up. The volume kept increasing as we were all trying to talk at once and to different people...it was great.

The tragedy of getting older is that while you're having your family and focusing on your career other things slip away, like your time. The priorities are what they are...that made this weekend even more precious, even to the six that still live in the same state. I'm so happy that I booked my tickets, The Saint found a hotel, and we all agreed to make it happen. Not easy with seven busy women. We brought snacks and wine and before we knew it there was an open bottle and I was drinking. The loose schedule was to go something like this:

Friday -
Chill and chat, drink, order pizza, drink some more, fall asleep eventually after playing games.

it really went like this:
Chill, drink, chat, drink, go to wine tasting in fancy bar, drink, go back to the room, chatting, drinking, order pizza, drinking, wait for pizza guy forever, hotel delays pizza guy, drinking, drinking, laughing, pizza arrives we eat and chat, tried to play "Never have I ever" and we don't make it past the first person, more drinking and laughing.

The volume level was out of control. I think I saw a boob or two, got mounted, learned some new tricks, drank a boat load of wine, and then got to fall asleep on a heavenly mattress with Soul Mate. I didn't sleep very much since I drank about a liter of water before going to bed and my body was on Central time getting me up at 4:30am, then 5am, then 5:30...you get the idea. Finally I just said 'eff' it and got up, got dressed and went for a walk. I made it about 20 minutes when The Saint called me, she wanted to walk too, so I went around and got her and we walked for a good 45 minutes. I was pretty proud of myself for even getting the work out clothes out of the bag! HA! We got back and showered up and found a nice breakfast place off the property. I had this dish called the "Wolf Pack" and OMG...heaven! It was eggs, bacon and cheese layered in hash browns. SO delish and it hit the spot after consuming at least a bottle of wine (each of us that were drinking) and some champagne.

As soon as we got back we all changed into pool gear. We also hired a masseur to come to the room for the day and give massages. We had a method, as soon as the person that was getting a massage was done she would call down to the pool and send the next one up. The Director had to go first because she was being a good mom and had to leave the 'girls weekend' briefly to go see a dance recital that her daughter and husband were in. But she got some pool time in before she left. We ate bad food and ordered drinks as soon as we got down there, which was about 11am...right when the bar opened. I love vacation... The Executive found herself a floating device, it was one of those long thin blue rafts and she sat in the middle of it. She had a blue 1940s sheik swim suit on with a floppy hat and looked like a movie star. The floating device became "the blue taco" and she almost bit it a couple of times. Oh, fun... We were all so good about sunscreen, hats and being staying in the shade when possible. Had we really matured???

This is where I'm going to stop for today. I know, it's not really a cliff hanger, but seriously I need to shower, find more coffee and then wait for Trainer to get home so I can have some...lunch. ;)

Women - we effin rock

Okay, so I had to get some help with my topic this morning. I have the itch to write, but as usual when I try to write my mind goes blank. So I emailed my trusty sources...and I came up with this topic. It's kind of funny too, because two of them came up with the same type of topic.

So today I write about women. How do we get it all done? Here are the great quotes that got me started:

"how we can’t seem to get enough done, work enough, help make the world a better place enough, make enough money, teach our children enough, exercise enough, play with or walk our dogs enough, eat healthy enough, keep our houses clean enough, keep our bodies looking polished enough…" -Sexy Hippy

"I’ve got strong women, strength to overcome incredible odds on the brain… being our mother’s daughters" - The Saint

One kind of answers the other don't you think? Women DO things because they just do. If it needs to get done we do it and sometimes it costs a great sacrifice to ourselves. Can we do it all? I say - yes...eventually. Do things slip through the cracks? I say - yes, but not the really important things. Do we lose our identity? I say - yes, but we find it again, and again, it just takes longer than we think it should some times.

Think about your Mother. Do you think she did everything right? In my case...I think not. BUT, she did everything she could to the best of her abilities and did it better than HER mother. I didn't realize this until I was almost 30 years old. Was our house perfect? No, it was "lived in", which is code for messy, but not dirty. Did she succumb to the weight pressures of the world? Yes, she was always on a diet. Did she make the world a better place? Yes, I think so. She worked at our school so she could be home with us and the neighbor kids until their parents got home. She raised me, so there you go...the world is a better place! HAHA! Kidding. But really, she gave me a sense of right and wrong and filled me with guilt so I wouldn't do stupid things.

Now, how do we take what our Mother's did and apply it in today's world where there are cell phones and computers and it seems like things are going 100 miles per hour? We dig deep and find some strength that we were SURE wasn't there.

I get up in the morning, brush my teeth and get out the door to meet my exercise partner, I come back and walk the pups, I come back and make the coffee and unload the dishwasher while my minute oatmeal is cooking...I say hello to Trainer and make him some oatmeal too (sometimes he does it), and then with my bowl and coffee in hand I take a shower and think about everything that needs to get done today. I eat and blow dry my hair. And then I feed the pups and head off to work. I try and meet my deadlines and balance that with my social interactions via email. I leave work at the last possible moment, get home and feed the pups again, sort the mail and look at my menu to see what I'm making for dinner. I plan in my head what I have to prep ahead of time and do that before I get ready to go swimming. I drive to swimming and make phone calls trying to keep in touch with my family and friends, every 10 minute conversation is precious and if I have to leave a message I'll do my best to make it a message that will make the person laugh or at least know that I love them. I swim and try not to be defeated by the water and the fact that I'm not good at it yet. I drive home, stop at the store to pick up the items that I don't have for dinner and go home and finish dinner. I serve the two of us, clean up the kitchen and sit on the couch with the pups to give them some much needed lovin'. I read a chapter in my book, get my water, take my gazillion pills and kiss Trainer good night. And start the ritual all over the next morning, tweaked with the next days activities.

Now, remember that I do not have children and will never be faced with that challenge. On the other hand I will never know what it is like to have someone look into my eyes and say "I love you Mommy." I can't begin to imagine what life with a child is like. No working out before work...unless you get up at 3-4am and do a stealth run on the treadmill. No swimming lessons...unless it's the kid's swim lessons. But, all of the mother's that I know manage to get it all done. I'm constantly amazed at the bandwidth of a mother. This of course is another post all in itself for I could go on and on about it.

I have friends who have overcome the most devastating situations. Did they think that they could make it? No, not at the time, but they are still with us and stronger than ever. And I'm SO grateful to know these people because they share their knowledge and I become stronger just from knowing them. We share, we love, we evolve...every single day.

Can we save the world? I say - No, but we can try. Can we make a difference? I say - Hell yes we can, one life, one day, one minute at a time.

"That" girl...

You know who I'm talking about right? "That" girl - the one who wears the clothes that are a little too tight, the neck line too low, the shorts too short? The one that we laugh at while sharing catty remarks with our best friends? "Can you believe her?" or "Uh, yeah...who wears THAT in public?" and "Dude, she's an accident waiting to happen!" Last night...I was "that" girl.

This past weekend Trainer and I got swim gear to start swimming, something neither of us know how to do, but we both want to do triathlons and swimming (duh) is a part of that. We went to the triathlon store and we had help getting goggles, swim caps and suits. Now, I'm large chested so I asked for a suit that had an under-wire for a little support. The lady showed me two suits, one was charcoal and the other was a blue crazy patterned something....I picked the charcoal one. I tried it on and even bought the bigger size for a little more coverage. I thought it looked "cute"...well, as cute as a suit can look in fluorescent lights. I was pretty excited about swim lessons, especially after I had all my matching gear!

So, last night I started having some anxiety about swimming. I don't like trying new things that are foreign to me. For example, if i wanted to pick up the guitar I could do that because of my background in music, but this athletic stuff? Ugh, no go. Anyway I convinced myself that I paid money to get the suit, the cap and the goggles so I HAD to do it, I was invested. By the time I got to the pool I was in a cold sweat, but I went up to the counter and said, "I'm here for the adult swim class" and the counter lady said, "GREAT! Welcome, you're going to have fun." Riiiight, because drowning is fun...uh-huh. After I paid I waited on the bleachers for the kids to get done in the pool. There were kids everywhere, on the bleachers, in the pool, in the bigger lap pool...everywhere. And, I knew, they were all better than me. Ugh. What did I get myself into? This girl sat next to me and asked if I was doing the adult classes, she was too. So I went in to the pool with her. She wore board shorts and didn't want to take them off because she said she was uncomfortable....and she was about 110lbs. Okay, well, I didn't have board shorts so I took my clothes off until I was just left with my suit that felt like it was a second skin. Oh well, here we go!

The pool was nice and warm, thank goodness - I hate cold water- and I bobbed over to the instructor and she asked me if I swam. I said, "Well, no...I never learned how to swim properly." Um...duh...THAT'S why I'm in lessons! She looked at me and said, "What are your expectations then?" OMG, so I explained that I can float and swim with my head above the water, but I wanted to learn the correct (more efficient) way to swim. Fine, fine...so we started warming up with push offs. All you do is push off of the wall with your feet, put your head in the water and make it across the pool, which is a very short distance. Yeah! I can do that! Well, guess what else happened? I look down and there are the girls. Sitting pretty in the water, as in they were almost OUT of my suit and in the water! Ugh! So, I discreetly push my girls back into place and wait for the next exercise. They decided to split the class in half and I went off with three other women and we had the girl instructor. The next thing we learned was to do the arm movements. Now, think about that. Your arms extend and make a full circle...and when you do that what happens to your chest? RIGHT. As I was going back and forth across the pool I was very aware that my girls were trying to escape. My attention was focused on them instead of swimming and I kept getting water up my nose because I was trying to look down under water.

What a nightmare. Every time I stopped I had to pull my suit up and stuff them down. Even the girl next to me commented on it. "Looks like your falling out!" Ummm, yeah, thanks for letting me know...I didn't notice! WTF! By the end of the class we had learned all of the steps that will go together to do a proper freestyle stroke. Yeah me! I can do it, I can swim...even if my suit is falling off. The last parting comment from my class mate was, "Ha, looks like you needed a smaller boob job." Dude, she thinks I had a boob job, seriously...how depressing is that? On one hand I'm like, "Hell yeah, they're still lookin' good" and on the other hand I was like "That damn Dr, making me look like I was "in proportion"."

I got out of the pool, changed in the locker room so I didn't have to go home in wet clothes and guess what I forgot? Yep, forgot my bra. So I continued my "freestyle" all the way home.

A weighty issue

Ugh, I woke up this morning feeling like I had sausages, instead of fingers, attached to my hand. I also woke up to the sound of thunder. NOT a good start to the morning. It's Friday, it's supposed to be a day of celebration, no reason, just that it's Friday and I don't have to work tomorrow. But instead I wake up grouchy and bloated. Dandy. Perfect. Freaking Friday. I tried to make it better by stepping on the scale...effing 'a'...the flipping scale. WHY???

Okay, so I do Weight Watchers. I have for years now. Good for me right? Wrong. Well kind of anyway. WW is a "life style not a diet" so really I'm supposed to apply those guidelines to my every day life. However, I made my lifetime weight (a goal set by yourself and the WW corporation that puts you within a healthy weight for your height and age) and as you can probably guess...I didn't keep it off. I'm a stress eater. Not emotional, don't get those mixed up. If Trainer decided to do something really stupid and it made me upset I wouldn't eat, I would have no appetite, but when I have a deadline or have to work long hours to get a critical project done (which happens often) I eat. I eat crap. Today is going to be one of those days.

I walk in to work this morning, and I'm doing pretty good, it's 8:30am. My schedule is pretty flexible as long as I get my work done. And since I'm not a morning person I take FULL advantage of that flexibility, usually rolling into the office between 8:30 and 9:30. As I said, I'm doing pretty good this morning. I get to my cubicle in the cube farm and log into the computer. There is an email from the Director of Ops saying that today was the last day for donations for a baby present for one of her staff. So, I mosey down to her office to give her some cash (hey, I'm a team player) and on the way one of my favorite engineers is standing there with a box. Someone say, "Hey, so and so has donuts." Crap, I love donuts. NO nutritional value what-so-ever, but dammit they're good. I started to gravitate and I said, "No, nope, not gonna do it. I had my oatmeal, it was SO good...I don't need a donut." and passed on by. On the way back they jeered at me, "Are you SURE you don't want a donut? Look...they're calling to you." Bastards.

I get back to my desk and open up the programs that I'll be working with today and grab my coffee cup to get coffee. I walk into the break room to be confronted by muffins. Those big, moist, double chocolate chip and butter rum muffins. Oh my...and they're right in front of the coffee pots. Crap, crap, crap. Deep breath...get your coffee and RUN. I do, I get out just in time. Whew. Saved myself hundreds of calories. I did it, I'm back at my desk. So, I'm working away (and this is BEFORE I started my blog) and my co-worker comes in late. Not as in - she's LATE, but later than me. I make no judgements about when people are here, as long as it doesn't affect me. Anyway, I smell it before I see her...oh double crap...what does she have in her hands??? A box full of breakfast tacos. And these are GOOD breakfast tacos. Homemade tortillas stuffed with eggs, cheese and potato. Effin, effin, effin 'A'!!! That's it. I break down. And now I'm sitting here typing and eating a fatty breakfast taco with salsa AND an old fashioned donut. I'm sorry... I know, I'm disappointed too, but I'm not THAT strong. I guess being tempted three times in less than an hour will break a person.

I've just been informed of what we're having for lunch today...pizza. You all know how much I love pizza. My WW points are shot for the day. It's just going to be one of those days. I get 22 points a day, I've already consumed 13...at 10am people. That's 9 left for the day and a slice of pizza is 5-9 points depending on the type. Guess who's going to be eating carrots for dinner...effin 'A' man...effin 'a'.

Am I Fat?

Hmmm, let's see...how many times has one of your friends asked you that in your lifetime. Better yet, how many times have you asked someone that question? I am a very lucky person in that my friends can be honest with me and me with them. If something is unflattering we say things like, "Hmmm, those are okay, but I liked the other pair better, they make your a** look fabulous" or "You know, I'm really not sure about that color, let's go see if they have something else" even "Dude, no, take them off." Not everyone has friends like this, I'm blessed.

Now, I wish my clothes could talk and tell me things like my friends would. As some of you know, and now the rest of you will, I have been in a walking cast, or a boot, for 7 weeks now. This was supposed to be my last week, but I'm really sick of it and I decided that my stress fracture has healed and it was time to exercise once more. I hurt myself while training for and running a half marathon in January. The stress fracture started about 2-3 weeks before the race and I knew that there was something wrong. However, being me, I decided to ignore the pain. Hey, I was SO close to the race and I HAD to finish. I ran on the bad leg, I finished the race, I couldn't walk for a week...and then was put into this boot. I could have done weights and crunches while I was in the boot, but I opted for the self-loathing path...the one with least resistance, the one that MADE me eat ice cream by the pint and Mexican food like it was going out of style. Anyway...back to the clothes.

This past Saturday was my first day back to exercise. I walked for an hour...whoohoo...and wore one of my new running skirts. The skirt was a little snug at the waist line, but I figured, well, it's new and I haven't worn it before. Fine. Then this morning I met The Democrat, who is my current exercise partner, at 6am for a 30 min walk. I put out my clothes last night, a cute pair of long running pants that have a skirt attached (Yes, I'm in to this new skirt thing, it's flattering and makes me feel girly) and a long sleeved white Nike shirt, oh and a short sleeved Nike shirt for afterwards when I was going to train with Trainer at the gym. Well, I got up...pulled on my clothes, put on my shoes and was thinking...huh, these pants are a little snug. Hmmm....I did remember that they do fit snugly, but I remembered that the skirt was CUTE and kind of flipped up in the right spots to make it flattering. But, it wasn't doing this now.

By the time I drove over to meet The Democrat I was over it. Fine, I need to drop some poundage in the thigh area, it's okay, I'm staring over again...etc, etc. Plus it was super dark out and you really couldn't see. :) After our walk and talk I drove over to the gym to meet Trainer for my weights workout. Now, this is my first lifting workout since our Christmas vacation. I know, I couldn't believe it either...what a slacker I am! Anyway, I get to the gym and changed shirts. Now my short sleeved shirt is a little longer, but it's a little more fitted then the long sleeve. I wanted the longer shirt just in case Trainer had me do some exercises where my shirt would ride up. No...not like our Saturday 'exercise'...these would be actual IN THE GYM exercises...sheesh people...heads in the gutter. I went to the restroom before I started and of course glimpsed at myself in the mirror. O-M-G...WHY didn't my pants tell me that I'd lost all my muscle tone? WHY didn't my shirt tell me that it was going to cling to the tiny roll that was hanging over the too snug pants?? WHY oh WHY? I had no choice but to do my workout in my ill fitting clothes and I was constantly reminded as there are freaking mirrors everywhere in the gym. Trainer was sweet and said that I looked sporty. Code for - not hot, but coordinated. Ah well...at least I was at the gym right?

What is the moral of this story? Can you all figure it out? Well, I'll help you. The moral of this story is that you don't need to ask if you are fat, you're not fat. Your clothes are actually sneaky creatures that start to take a different form if they are ignored for too long, so take them out every now and then and say sweet things or buy some new clothes.