Thursday, April 10, 2008

"That" girl...

You know who I'm talking about right? "That" girl - the one who wears the clothes that are a little too tight, the neck line too low, the shorts too short? The one that we laugh at while sharing catty remarks with our best friends? "Can you believe her?" or "Uh, yeah...who wears THAT in public?" and "Dude, she's an accident waiting to happen!" Last night...I was "that" girl.

This past weekend Trainer and I got swim gear to start swimming, something neither of us know how to do, but we both want to do triathlons and swimming (duh) is a part of that. We went to the triathlon store and we had help getting goggles, swim caps and suits. Now, I'm large chested so I asked for a suit that had an under-wire for a little support. The lady showed me two suits, one was charcoal and the other was a blue crazy patterned something....I picked the charcoal one. I tried it on and even bought the bigger size for a little more coverage. I thought it looked "cute"...well, as cute as a suit can look in fluorescent lights. I was pretty excited about swim lessons, especially after I had all my matching gear!

So, last night I started having some anxiety about swimming. I don't like trying new things that are foreign to me. For example, if i wanted to pick up the guitar I could do that because of my background in music, but this athletic stuff? Ugh, no go. Anyway I convinced myself that I paid money to get the suit, the cap and the goggles so I HAD to do it, I was invested. By the time I got to the pool I was in a cold sweat, but I went up to the counter and said, "I'm here for the adult swim class" and the counter lady said, "GREAT! Welcome, you're going to have fun." Riiiight, because drowning is fun...uh-huh. After I paid I waited on the bleachers for the kids to get done in the pool. There were kids everywhere, on the bleachers, in the pool, in the bigger lap pool...everywhere. And, I knew, they were all better than me. Ugh. What did I get myself into? This girl sat next to me and asked if I was doing the adult classes, she was too. So I went in to the pool with her. She wore board shorts and didn't want to take them off because she said she was uncomfortable....and she was about 110lbs. Okay, well, I didn't have board shorts so I took my clothes off until I was just left with my suit that felt like it was a second skin. Oh well, here we go!

The pool was nice and warm, thank goodness - I hate cold water- and I bobbed over to the instructor and she asked me if I swam. I said, "Well, no...I never learned how to swim properly." Um...duh...THAT'S why I'm in lessons! She looked at me and said, "What are your expectations then?" OMG, so I explained that I can float and swim with my head above the water, but I wanted to learn the correct (more efficient) way to swim. Fine, we started warming up with push offs. All you do is push off of the wall with your feet, put your head in the water and make it across the pool, which is a very short distance. Yeah! I can do that! Well, guess what else happened? I look down and there are the girls. Sitting pretty in the water, as in they were almost OUT of my suit and in the water! Ugh! So, I discreetly push my girls back into place and wait for the next exercise. They decided to split the class in half and I went off with three other women and we had the girl instructor. The next thing we learned was to do the arm movements. Now, think about that. Your arms extend and make a full circle...and when you do that what happens to your chest? RIGHT. As I was going back and forth across the pool I was very aware that my girls were trying to escape. My attention was focused on them instead of swimming and I kept getting water up my nose because I was trying to look down under water.

What a nightmare. Every time I stopped I had to pull my suit up and stuff them down. Even the girl next to me commented on it. "Looks like your falling out!" Ummm, yeah, thanks for letting me know...I didn't notice! WTF! By the end of the class we had learned all of the steps that will go together to do a proper freestyle stroke. Yeah me! I can do it, I can swim...even if my suit is falling off. The last parting comment from my class mate was, "Ha, looks like you needed a smaller boob job." Dude, she thinks I had a boob job, depressing is that? On one hand I'm like, "Hell yeah, they're still lookin' good" and on the other hand I was like "That damn Dr, making me look like I was "in proportion"."

I got out of the pool, changed in the locker room so I didn't have to go home in wet clothes and guess what I forgot? Yep, forgot my bra. So I continued my "freestyle" all the way home.


Sexy Hippy (why not?!) said...

I think the other girl was jealous of your ta-tas! Think of them as flotation devices. :) Good for you for trying something new!

The Sports Mama said...

Thank you for giving me yet another reason never to learn to swim. :)

And it might be easier to take nekkid swimming lessons.... I'm jes sayin'....