Sunday, August 30, 2009

A year in review

So, I'm 36 now...birthday has come and gone with very little hoop-la. And I'm okay with that. It doesn't really feel like my birthday this year as I said in my last blog. Yoga Zen Babe thinks that maybe I'm growing up. Ha, I don't think that's the case, I just think my focus is on the race. Sports Mama asked me if I was doing anything fun and I replied with, "No, because I really can't drink..." and she politely reminded me that we don't need to drink to have fun. I heard that once from my Soul Mate on our way to Mexico when we were 19...yeah, that didn't work out like we thought it would as I was drinking bottles of wine through a straw out of an ice bucket with The Director. I know, maturity has escaped me throughout my life.

I hope to have a new reader soon - Audrey. She's an old friend from HS. We weren't close then, she was a year older and had a cooler circle of friends. Sports Mama wanted me to put my blog link on my FB, thinking that people would just ignore it unless they were truly interested. I just can't take that chance. I have work people and relatives on my FB friends, who have time on their hands...lot's of time. Anyway, I like to keep my semi-anonymous blog close to the vest. So, with that said, please give a warm welcome to Audrey. And yes, the blog does get interesting some times. :)

Anyway, on to the meat of it all... 35 to 36 was good. Trainer and I learned a lot about each other throughout this year. Still learning... When I had my chart done in 2002 the astrologist said that our relationship was like a partnership and that we would learn lessons from each other throughout our lifetime. That has been pretty accurate over these 10 years. I believe that we've learned to appreciate each other in ways that we hadn't seen before. For him it was seeing my never-ending support of his whole person. The highs, the lows, the bright spots and most certainly the dark. For me it was seeing, finally seeing, that most of what he does around the house or during his day is to make my life easier. He rarely (if ever) makes the complaint that I don't do enough around the house. (Because we all know that I don't!!)

Work wise I have learned that I am still adaptable. I've also learned that I am the brightness in the office. Any office. When I went back to visit my friends in AZ a few years back I stopped by my old workplace. I stopped to say hello to everyone, as everyone was a friend, and a girl in the front said, "I forgot how much life you brought to this place." I didn't think to much of it at the time, but now at my new job I see that I am the glue there as well. I bring the lightness, the laughter (even when I'm all sorts of pissed off), and the compassion that is missing. I know that sounds totally conceited, but it's true. Maybe that is why I'm drawn to the sun, as in the three tattoos on my back. The sunshine is always with me as it is IN me. Hmmm...ponder that.

I have learned that my family really matters to me. This may seem like a 'duh' statement, but really...since I was 3 we've done nothing but move away from family and I continued that trend when I chose to go out of state to college and then again when I decided not to go back. And then again when we moved to Texas. In this past year I lost my grandfather and I was able to see my family all together for the first time in 5 years. Trainer's family came for Thanksgiving last fall. It was nice having them around and I crave that closeness more than I ever have. Our renewal ceremony is coming up and I'm thrilled that my parents and his parents will be there.

I've learned that I'm capable of anything, even if it is a physical/athletic thing. When I was on my ride yesterday I was chatting with this girl. I asked her how long she'd been doing triathlon and she said 4 years, but that she'd been an athlete her whole life. She asked me the same thing and I responded with, well...I just started doing this training in June, but I've been riding for 5 years and running since 2004 out of necessity. She asked if I did sports as a kid and I said, "No, I was a music geek turned music major." Then she asked if I was a music teacher and I said, "No, I went in to accounting." And that made her laugh. I never thought I could swim, actually sustain a freestyle stroke for longer than one length in the pool. And now I know I can.

And finally I've learned that my weight has nothing to do with anything. It doesn't make people like you better if you're lighter. It doesn't make someone love you more because there is less of you. Weight does not have to make or break the day, it is Just.A.Number. Living life and enjoying myself and not living in excess is the key to my happiness and my confidence.

Huh, maybe I am growing up after all.


totegirl said...

Oh best post EVER! I'm so happy! Reading this has been positive reinforcement, and it has brightened my day to know that a dear sweet person like you exists in my world! Yay!

T said...

seriously - I had to sit and think for a minute whether or not I knew this Audrey chick :) Okay - so I'm a dork... now you know the truth of it!

I'm working again on that "weight is just a number" thing... because right now it's a number that I'm not proud of...

you rock - thanks for sending me the link, we bloggers have GOT to have more fun together :)

fattygetsfit said...

good entry.
it's good to summarize these things sometimes, putting it in writing is helpful :-)

The Sports Mama said...

Well hell... I was all set to pout because I sound like an amazingly...grown here...

And then you tie it all up so beautifully. I am so, so, so proud of you.

Damn in. I really wanted to be upset that I sound so.... blah. And pushy. :)

And I had to take a minute to remember who Audrey was, too. :)