Blogging Project - Day 8

Holy crap...are you all as amazed as I am? I've blogged every day with the exception of Sunday??? (That is my weekly gift to myself - no computer Sundays!) And on with the project:

A moment I felt the most satisfied with my life

I can remember the first moment I felt the most satisfied with my life. I was 23 years old, living in Oregon with a random roommate (who I got through 'Roommate finder') and sitting in the park by the water. My roommate had to work, I had the day off, it was a Monday. (I used to work Tues - Sat) And I decided that 'today was the day' that I was going to be okay. Trainer had left me in Oregon to go back to Arizona. This would have been April of 1997. Our 1 month of true separation. He wasn't happy, which was making me a nervous wreck and we decided that he should move back. Like I mentioned, I got a random roommate and stayed in our cottage like apartment. (I loved that place.)

This one perfect Monday in April I took my journal down the the waterfront, a blanket and some water and just sat down and watched life happen around me. I didn't wait for anyone to come home and be with me, I didn't want to meet up with anyone, I wanted just to 'be.' The day was lovely and eye opening. I was okay, I was really going to be okay. Everything happened for a reason and maybe Trainer leaving me was the best thing that had happened. I grew up in that time. I gained confidence, awareness and a freedom that I didn't even realize was missing.

After that day I would go see movies by myself, eat out at a sit-down restaurant by myself...I did everything solo. In the cheesiest terms...'I found myself.' And the person that I found was (IS) awesome.

Don't be fooled and think it was happily ever after from that point on. My life became very turbulent after I moved back to AZ in 1998. And stayed in this vortex of confusion until 2008. When again it hit me (over the head like a ton of bricks) that I will always be okay. I always have myself and everything else (my love, friends, house) is icing on the cake. (That would be yellow cake and chocolate icing - fyi!)

Today and everyday I'm satisfied. Like I said, every single day is a gift. Some you have to wait to open, and some seem like it's a 'white elephant' gag gift. Just open your eyes, your eyes, and see all of the gifts around you...starting with yourself. (Below - me in 2008, Oregon coast)

Blogging Project - Day 7

My Zodiac Sign - and do I think it fits my personality

My Sun Sign is Virgo, with Libra Ascending and a Virgo Moon. :) I dabbled in Astrology for a bit and had my chart done. I'm fascinated with it. The funny thing is so are my two brothers, although we didn't know that each one of us was looking for the same information at the same time...siblings. Ha.

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Here are the basic traits of Virgos (from http://lilycat.net/virgo.html):

The sixth sign of the zodiac is concerned with:

* self-perfection, critical faculties

* altruism, honesty, responsibility

* cleanliness, hygiene, health, healing

* efficiency, daily routines, reliability

* strength of character, veiled sensuality

* service, hard work, passivity, modesty

* incisive communication, shrewd logical thought

Elemental Quality

Virgo is the mutable earth sign of the zodiac, indicating adaptable practicality. It can be likened to a semi-shaded patio which has been adapted to make a garden filled with a great variety of plants, climbers, and an arbor. Half-hidden, here and there, are garden chaise lounges with rich patchwork covers, bottles of homemade organic wines, and other unexpected practical delights.

Spiritual Goal

To learn to discriminate between destructive criticism and simple wisdom.

The Virgoan Female

If a woman behaves in a way that is distinctive of the personality associated with the zodiac sign of Virgo, she will have a tendency toward the characteristics listed below, providing there are no influences in her personal birthchart that are stronger than that of her Virgo sun sign.

Appearance

The typical Virgo woman:

* has a pointed chin and a face in repose

* the eyes are often soft and very beautiful

* the hair may be long or short but is normally impeccably groomed

* the mouth and lips are well formed

* is typically clean and very neatly dressed

Behavior and Personality Traits

* can analyze situations in detail

* is devoted to her work, usually serving others in some way

* is basically shy

* has incredible strength of purpose

* will pursue happiness wherever it leads

* is pure of mind but not naive

* thinks of herself as more orderly and efficient than other people

* has a delightful, straightforward personality

* does not express her feelings easily

* can be soothing one moment and critical the next

Young Virgo

If a child behaves in a way that is distinctive of the personality associated with Virgo, he or she will have a tendency toward the characteristics listed below.

Behavior and Personality Traits

The typical Virgo child:

* is quick, alert, and an excellent mimic, and so can learn many things in a short time

* gets upset if he or she forgets something that has been learned by heart

* rarely questions authority but frequently questions facts

* is honest and reliable

* is usually shy among strangers

* loves to do jobs around the home imitating an adult

* is sometimes a fussy eater

* is usually tidy, with occasional bouts of disorganization

* gets very upset if teased

* is often an early talker and reader

This next part from the website gives me a LOT of insight:

Bringing Up Young Virgo

Young Virgos will try very hard to please, as long as they know what is expected.

As they grow up they will often find close relationships with the opposite sex very difficult.

Virgos take a lot of convincing that they are attractive people. Lots of genuine praise and encouragement early in life will help to smooth the path to true love in teenage and early adulthood.

Parents should never interfere when their young Virgo begins to notice the opposite sex. Even the slightest hint of criticism or teasing may cause Virgos to withdraw and choose the single life.

Young Virgo's Needs

Young Virgo must have physical affection, in the form of hugs, and sincere compliments every day in order to build the self-confidence that every typical Virgo child lacks.

Negative Factors

Virgos are nervous worriers, and a friend who in some way feeds the worries will reduce Virgo to a nervous heap.

Virgos can be cold and critical, so a friend who softens the barbed remarks with caring laughter will bring out the Virgo wit.

Most Virgos find it almost impossible to admit they are occasionally wrong.

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The website goes more in-depth and I agree with the majority of traits on there. I display the good and the bad of the sign, however with the Libra rising I'm also a peace-keeper/moderator...which has been/is prominent in my life. So, in a rather large nut-shell, yes...I believe it fits me.

Blogging Project - Day 6

30 Interesting Things about ME

Okay, some of these may be repeats from the past, but if you're a new reader and not obsessive (like me) you may not have seen these!

1. I am not a morning person or a night person, I'm a day person.

2. I have no favorite color

3. My dad calls me Pumpkin, still. To this day. And I tend to call other people's kids Pumpkin.

4. I believe that everything happens for a reason, even the bad stuff.

5. I love my birthday, I try to make it last the entire month, although Trainer only indulges me with a week.

6. I've had 4 major surgeries, two that put me into the ICU.

7. I can play every instrument proficiently, with the exception of the guitar.

8. I love peanut butter. Love, love, love.

9. I did not want kids prior to learning that I cannot have kids. But it still hurt when I was told.

10. I work so I can live, I do not live to work.

11. I love the Fall, you still get the warmth but with some crispness in the air.

12. I have to work at being athletic, it does not come naturally.

13. I believe that everyone should read a contract before they sign it.

14. People that take advantage of 'the system' make me angry.

15. I love the Akita breed and cannot fathom owning a different kind of dog.

16. I want to write a 'coffee table book' about pizza, just travel, try different local pizza and write about it.

17. I love dark chocolate, red wine and black coffee. It's a rich (tasting) life.

18. I love breakfast in bed, fortunately I found someone who loves me enough that it happens often!

19. I love growing old, every year is a gift.

20. I love to read.

21. I love hanging out with my cronies (as Trainer affectionately calls my friends!)

22. I hate scary movies.

23. I am the middle child and have a classic case of Middle Child Syndrome.

24. I am messy by nature, but have a very organized mind.

25. I love buying athletic clothing.

26. I love road trips.

27. I love staying in expensive hotels.

28. I think the worst feeling in the world is rejection.

29. My favorite movies are: Chocolate`, Bridget Jones' Diary, any Harry Potter movie and the Bourne Series.

30. I am spoiled. And I deserve it!

Those are just 30 things. Wow, that is a lot of 'I' there! I hope everyone had a nice Easter and a fantastic Monday. Later Gators!

Blogging Project - Day 5

A time I thought about ending my own life

Hmmm...this is going to be a very short post. I have never thought about ending my own life. I've been overwhelmed by sadness many times in my life, to the point of not wanting to get out of bed or function, but the thought 'death would be better than this' never crossed my mind. I believe that suicide is a very selfish act. I've known people (personally) who have taken their own life, and then I witnessed the aftermath. The shattered lives that are left behind. I could never consciously do that to another human being.

Plus, as we know, my life is pretty darn good. I've always had a roof over my head, food on the table and people around me that love me.

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In other news, Brody is growing like a weed! Trainer and I had a good night out last night, started at Opal Divine's for some awesome local brews, then went for sushi at Tomo (amazing sushi, like seriously amazing) and then back to Opal Divine's for some more awesome local beer. Passed out by 10pm....sad.

It was a late start to the morning. We ventured out to a closer Farmer's Market...which was a complete bust. Had coffee at one of my favorite bakery's and then drove through my dream neighborhood. We took a flyer from a house that is for sale, I was thinking 'It's got to be at least $350k' and I was wrong. $599,000!!! Holy crap! We'll have to do some hard looking to find a house that is not in shambles that is in our budget. Two years to get there...two.short.years.

Off to do stuff...have an awesome Saturday!!!

Blogging Project - Day 4

My views on Religion

How to approach this... I guess I'll start with my background. I was raised Catholic, by my mother. My father's religion was Sunday football, which I learned to love and embrace. I was in the 'contemporary' choir and went to the 9am mass when I could drive myself. Before that my mom and I attended the 6 or 7am mass. I was baptized, I was confirmed, and then I went to college.

When you go away from home you leave everything you know. My church was pretty straight laced Catholic, Gregorian Chant was the early mass and what I was used to, even the 'contemporary' choir wasn't too loose. I went to Sunday mass on the ASU campus and was appalled. People were wearing SHORTS and FLIPFLOPS to church!! What kind of madness was this? There was no 'and also with you' part of the sermon, I just didn't get it, it didn't fit into what I knew, so I refused to go. No one cared anyway, no one was watching over my shoulder...which was why I went out of state to attend college. :)

After that experience I started learning more about Theology and religion and found that I really don't care for organized religion. Believing in one meant that you thought someone else's beliefs weren't just or correct. Perhaps that is an extremist's view?

My aunt once told me that astrology was the work of the devil...and that I shouldn't be reading that rubbish. Really? For real? I have more of a universal approach...for my belief system:

Everything happens for a reason.

There is a higher power that I pray to, but it is neither man or woman.

I will pray when I feel like praying, and my church is usually on the road, whether I'm running or riding.

That's about it. Wishy washy? Yeah, you could say that. Simplistic? Yeah, maybe that too. But I won't apologize for my belief system or lack of structure. That's it for today!

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In training news (or lack of training) I ran today, 3 miles with D-Bomb and we did it so we could have coffee talk afterward. I love training days like today! I may actually get 4 or even 5 workouts in this week?? Crazy. I know.

What I believe makes images like this possible:

Blogging Project - Day 3

My views on drugs and alcohol

My drug of choice is caffeine. Yes, it's a drug. And we all know how I dig my red wine and fancy beer. But as far as being an advocate of drugs...not so much. I experimented with pot in my early 30s, did it 3 times. Each time I just wanted to find a dark room and go to sleep. So for me it wasn't a big deal. I've never tried harder drugs. I guess I just don't like that 'out of control/out of my body' feeling. I like control, I'm a bit of a control freak (and I'm okay with that!)

Each time I was in the ICU I had access to some pretty hard drugs. I was allowed Morphine every 30 minutes. I only took it once. I wasn't out to prove anything, but I would rather feel pain than be in pain and not really care. Does that makes sense? Any surgery I've had I was prescribed Percocet or Oxycontin and I always had most of the 'scrip left over. Just not interested. It's all Nancy Regan's fault...'Just say No to drugs!'

In a nutshell - LOVE wine, LOVE beer, not into drugs.

Blogging Project - Day 2

Where I'd like to be in 10 years

Hmmm...where would I like to be in 10 years? Alive and kicking for starters. Seriously though, I'd like to be living in a much smaller house about 5-7 miles South of where I reside today. I would like to own his and hers beach bicycles that Trainer and I could ride everywhere together. Mine would have to be equipped with a basket so I could go to the grocery store. I can see us peddling to the coffee shop on Saturday afternoons or Sunday morning and to the bar at night! It's going to be great.

Job wise I really don't know. If I'm still here and growing I'd be okay with that. If I get stuck in this position for too much longer I'll have to find something else to do. I've always tossed around the idea of going back to school...for psychology...to be a therapist. But more than anything within the next 10 years I would like to take some writing classes and get these stories that I've started published. I know, it's cliche' but I want to write books and if I can get something off the ground in the next 10 years I would be very, very happy.

Also, in 10 years (more like less than 2!!) I will be debt free, with the exception of my house. I will have an emergency fund and a HUGE retirement fund started. And Trainer and I will finally go on our Trek trip to Napa.

See what I mean about getting older!! Look at all of these things I have to look forward to! Getting older, aging, letting the years go past...it's a celebration I tell ya! Bring.It.On.