A moment I felt the most satisfied with my life
I can remember the first moment I felt the most satisfied with my life. I was 23 years old, living in Oregon with a random roommate (who I got through 'Roommate finder') and sitting in the park by the water. My roommate had to work, I had the day off, it was a Monday. (I used to work Tues - Sat) And I decided that 'today was the day' that I was going to be okay. Trainer had left me in Oregon to go back to Arizona. This would have been April of 1997. Our 1 month of true separation. He wasn't happy, which was making me a nervous wreck and we decided that he should move back. Like I mentioned, I got a random roommate and stayed in our cottage like apartment. (I loved that place.)
This one perfect Monday in April I took my journal down the the waterfront, a blanket and some water and just sat down and watched life happen around me. I didn't wait for anyone to come home and be with me, I didn't want to meet up with anyone, I wanted just to 'be.' The day was lovely and eye opening. I was okay, I was really going to be okay. Everything happened for a reason and maybe Trainer leaving me was the best thing that had happened. I grew up in that time. I gained confidence, awareness and a freedom that I didn't even realize was missing.
After that day I would go see movies by myself, eat out at a sit-down restaurant by myself...I did everything solo. In the cheesiest terms...'I found myself.' And the person that I found was (IS) awesome.
Don't be fooled and think it was happily ever after from that point on. My life became very turbulent after I moved back to AZ in 1998. And stayed in this vortex of confusion until 2008. When again it hit me (over the head like a ton of bricks) that I will always be okay. I always have myself and everything else (my love, friends, house) is icing on the cake. (That would be yellow cake and chocolate icing - fyi!)
Today and everyday I'm satisfied. Like I said, every single day is a gift. Some you have to wait to open, and some seem like it's a 'white elephant' gag gift. Just open your eyes, your eyes, and see all of the gifts around you...starting with yourself. (Below - me in 2008, Oregon coast)