I'm fighting the emotions. Should I be really upset? I think the hardest part for me is what it has always been...seeing my dad hurting. He's my person, I'm his Pumpkin. When I called back he struggled again and my heart just broke. He told me that the services will be on the 22nd of March since my aunt cannot make it to California until then. She will be buried next to my grandfather who passed away back when I was only 12 years old. He told me that he'd send me the address if I wished to send anything and I assured him that I'll be there. In person.
Now I'm trying to figure out how to get to CA on the 21st, all the flights are sold out going OUT of Austin because it is the final day of SXSW, the film and music festival. Trainer told me to use our free ticket, but the times and dates are blocked out, can't use it. If I go the day before I'll be breaking commitments that I've already made. I KNOW that no commitment is greater than my family's need....so we'll just have to wait and see. What channels can I go through to get out of Austin without spending a fortune??
My little brother is going to be coming to CA as well, I hope he does. My older brother can't make it. Trainer won't be coming either, it's just not feasible. I'm lucky that I'll be able to go.
This morning it was hard to wake up, I just wanted to roll over, and after waking I just wanted to stay in bed. Today I'm going over to a sports club close to my house for a fitness expo. I'll be there exercising for several hours. Hopefully that will put some endorphins into my body...make me feel better...pull me up while the quicksand of depression is just hovering. Death. It sucks.