Balance, balance, balance...

There are so many things in life to balance. Nothing can be off kilter. What would we do if that were to happen??

The first thing that needs to balance is your...check book. Sad but true. If this doesn't balance the rest of your "act" could be seriously doomed. Money isn't everything, and believe me I know it's not, but it sure makes things easier. Since Trainer's new adventure this has become a tricky task. I used to be able to do my books on the weekend, or even with a glance of the checking account know exactly how much we could spend or not spend. I never used to worry about what I bought at the grocery store, if I wanted it...I bought it. I clipped coupons because it was fun to look at the Sunday ads, not because I needed them. Of course this all sounds like we're loaded, and we're not, we were just comfortable. Now it's a different story completely. And again, we're not broke - just really tight. But I wouldn't trade Trainer having this opportunity to run his own business. Balance.

What else do we balance? Oh yes...probably bigger than money (again, money makes it easier) is work and home life. This is one of the biggest balancing acts of all. I know that my balance has always been off on this one, it's heavy on the work side. I sacrifice a lot for work, although it's never been a problem because Trainer is the same way. It didn't matter what he was doing, work always came before me. It wasn't a problem until I decided to change my priorities. (Funny how that is....) Most of my friends had the big priority shift when they had kids. Trainer and I will never have that third party to contend with. Good or bad? You don't realize what is truly important until you either have a child or a life-changing experience. You would think that I have had some life changing experiences to shift my balance, but honestly being in ICU didn't do it for me. I haven't found this balance. I'm trying...but I'm not there yet.

Yourself...yes, you have to balance WHO you are with WHAT you do and with WHOM you do it. How to do this and remain true to yourself? Who are you really? Where do you draw the line with giving to others and giving to yourself? How do you balance your insecurities with your needs and how do you tell the difference?

I'm pretty sure that many women my age go through the "finding yourself" phase. I went through it at 23 and I'm still learning. I was left on my own in a place that was new to me. I was heart broken and felt like all of my worth was wrapped up into one person. It took me a year to figure out that I was a strong person and that I loved myself. I found out that I was good company and I found that I could give a part of myself without giving my whole self. Balance.

I wish I were 23 again so I could find that balance. Plus I didn't have these wrinkles...huh.