So, I was on my way home and called Soul Mate at our designated time...that would be nap time. If I get off of work right on time I hit it perfectly and yesterday I did just that. Yeah! I love talking to my Soul Mate, always refreshing. Anyway we were talking about Trainer and some of the silly stuff that he's been up to and I said, "You know, some days I want to be single. NOT to be out on the market again, I don't want to date, I just want to be single." And really, if I wanted to I could make that happen. Then I said, "Here's an idea...." and it goes like this:
We, as women, should be able to split up the year in one of two ways...one way is if you have children and the other way is if you don't.
If you have kids you will split your year like this: Month 1 - You're a mom, Month 2 - Married, no kids, and Month 3 - You're single. Repeat for the whole year. Of course Soul Mate wanted to interject and say that your kids lives just pause while you're away, they don't grow up.
If you have no kids you'll split your year like this: Months 1-6 - You're single, Months - 7-12 You're married. That way you and your husband can do what ever the f_ck you want for six months and then you're truly devoted to each other the last six months. HAHAHA! Right.
I started writing this last week, before the weekend...and I didn't make my weekend post. I hurt myself on Friday morning, I stretched wrong and locked up my neck so badly that I couldn't move my head, couldn't walk without shooting pain going up to my head, couldn't type...ugh. The funny thing is that my neck locking up is a result of all of the stress that I've been under at work and home for the past two weeks. Not good. It's NEVER good when your stress manifests itself in physical ways. Although I think someone is trying to tell me something.
I have a hard time expressing myself to Trainer, I'm sure some of you are like, "What????" but it's true. As much as I talk, gab, write, I just have a hard time being straight forward and getting things out. I don't like feeling vulnerable, and when I have to bring up certain things with Trainer that is exactly how I feel. Vulnerable.
After hurting myself on Friday I was unable to go anywhere, unable to do ANYTHING. It sucked. Saturday was more of the same, not doing much. Sunday...more rest. But I did manage to talk to Trainer, managed to shed some more tears, managed to get out exactly what I wanted, asked the questions that needed asking and you know what? I feel much better.
I still can't turn my head all the way to the right, but it's better, it's a start.
I'm still not completely healed emotionally, but it's better, it's a start.
3 comments:
Good for you, baby! Get all those toxins out of your body. It's good for you. It might not be easy but it's much healthier than bottling that shit up inside you!
I'm so happy to hear that you're expressing to Trainer how you feel. That's so important for you to stand your ground, stand up for yourself and your feelings. You're truly amazing. I hope your neck injury heals super soon!
Ok.... so while it might not be pretty, it's probably easy enough for you to imagine....
Can you see my happy dance for you? :)
I am so proud of you for facing the issue, and putting it out there, rather than shelving it for a "better" time.
And have I taught you nothing in the last 25 years??? Chocolate = sress reduction. Of course, you can always substitute other things for chocolate..... ice cream or oatmeal cookies are perfectly acceptable substitutions. ;)
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