Coming up for air

Patterns - life is all about patterns. I've been looking at my history and discovering patterns. Such as...when someone in my life passes away I become ill. I don't know if that is due to the break in routine of my exercise schedule or just my body's response to grief. Either way I've been ill since Friday, getting better both mentally and physically every day.

Sadly, I think I grieve more for the loss of my little buddy than I did my grandparents. It makes sense though, doesn't it? He was a constant in my life. He wasn't in my past memories, he was present, he was life itself. Not to say that my life revolved around my dog, that is absurd, but he was in the here and now. I don't know if dogs grieve for one another, or if they comprehend really what has happened. But it seems that Sydney is grieving...or that I'm just projecting it on to her. :)

The time has come where I need to come up for air and really start living fully again. I need to stop going home after work with the intention of working out and just sitting on the couch instead. Lucky, lucky me though...I have a great support team that seems to understand.

I have a wonderful husband, who is taking the loss hard as well, trying to motivate me and doing little things for me that I really appreciate. Example: I bought a basil bunch a while ago, it had the roots and everything, I put it in water to preserve it and kept meaning to pot it, never got around to it...but lo and behold it was done when I got home last night. I never even asked. I have a coach who reads minds, as I was stressing about missing so many workouts, and writes and tells me that we'll get through this and to do what I can right now. I have friends, both old and new, who seem to know when I need to hear certain words, who are there for me if I choose to call...countless friends. I am so blessed.

So thank you to my support team, all of you, even the ones who don't read my blog...like my husband. :) I couldn't make it through times like this without you all.

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Training - As I stated above it's not really great, however my intentions are there.

Currently I'm training for the Austin 1/2 marathon and the time I'm shooting for is going to be a challenge! My fastest 1/2 marathon was in 2007 at the 3M Half, time was 2:29. The hardest course that I have done is the Nike San Francisco 1/2 and my time for that was 2:36. My goal??? 2:15 Yikes! I can do it, I know I can. I just need to follow my plan, do my workouts and believe in myself.

After that I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Coach C has me riding and swimming as recovery days during the run season so I won't lose those completely. I have no idea what tris I want to do next year. Right now I have no desire to do any, but we'll revisit in a while. I'm going to be very selective next year, volunteer a lot, but just do a 2-3 tris. One, budgeting constraints and two, I enjoy training more than I do racing. :)

Well...time to get going for now. I'll be on more often (sorry about the lapse in blogging the past couple of months!) Peace out kids!!

Goodnight my little buddy...rest in peace

It is with a very heavy heart that I share with you that Gunthar has passed on. I realize now how much I relied on him, more so than he relied upon me. He was in every way my baby. He picked us to be his caretakers, his 'parents', his world. He was the first of his litter to venture outdoors, taking that first step with confidence. At the tender age of 5 weeks he chose us.

He was the best kind of dog, loyal and loving and a little bit naughty. He liked to 'help' me cook, meaning that he was glued to my hip looking at everything that I was doing, hoping to get a morsel of whatever it was that I was cooking. He loved to go on his walk everyday, just as he loved to get up on the couch or bed and laze around with us.

You can barely see him here as he blends in with the couch so well. The worst part (for me anyway) is that this happened while we were on vacation. The pups went to the kennel on Saturday, we left Sunday (there is no drop off on Sunday) and he passed on Sunday afternoon at approx 2-4pm, we're not sure when. We had just landed and picked up our keys to the condo as T got the call. We knew it was bad news because the kennel never calls us, but I never expected this kind of news. As T was taking the call I started shaking and say, 'Please no, please no...' over and over again. I was bargaining with God or anyone who was listening, but it was too late for bargaining. He died of bloat, what Sydney had just a few months ago, that we were very, very lucky to catch. You lose them within an hour, if you even get that much time. I just weep for him as he died in pain and alone, not knowing what was happening to him. I weep for Sydney as they've never been apart for more than a few days when she was in the hospital.

It did not seem real. We couldn't pick Sydney up until today because of the holiday. So we just went on with life on Thursday night and Friday as if everything was the same as we left it, that we would pick up both the pups Saturday. It was just before we left for the kennel when T put away Gunthar's food bowl and left only one of the water bowls out that it started to hit me. Something small, a detail that I teared up over, reality was coming fast. I cried silently all the way to the kennel and wept openly as Sydney came out from the back...alone. They handed us his leash and food, I put it in the truck as Sydney jumped into the back as if to say, "Okay, let's get the hell out of Dodge!" And I wept all the way home. She came in the house and could smell him so she checked out all of the rooms. Everything about this was breaking my heart.

He was a great pup, a strong and loving soul put into a dog's body. My baby boy.

The Blogging Project - Day Thirteen

A Fictional Book

Didn't we cover this? I guess that was 'My Favorite Book' post. So, I'm just supposed to write about a random fictional book? Maybe just fictional books in general.

I love fictional books, they take me away from reality (not that my reality is that bad) and into a dream world. My favorite 'fluff' books are historical romance novels. I know, I know...so typical, but I love reading about London society in the midst of war. I always wonder what kind of standing my family would have had. I'm assuming that we would have been of the working class with land out in the country, farmers or the like. The books are easy to read and fulfilling because almost all of them have a happy ending. Yep, sucker for happy endings OR sequels where we find out more about the characters in another book along the way.

Other fictional books, the Merry Gentry series by Laurell K. Hamilton, I know I've mentioned her before. Awesome books about good and evil...and sex...I know, you're shocked. Um, I used to read Dean Koontz until it was a little out there for me, James Patterson is awesome with anything he writes, Patricia Cornwell...so many, so many... I just finished A Great and Terrible Beauty and I could go get the book to cite the author, but it is upstairs and I'm downstairs and feeling kind of lazy on this Saturday morning. It was decent, I like the content...it ended abruptly, but then I saw that there is a sequel, so I'll have to find that and see how it ends.

I do like dramas, such as Good Grief and Water for Elephants, books along those lines. But some of the heavier stuff I just don't enjoy as much. I'll read it, think about it, but really give me a fluff book, a cup of coffee and a pastry and I'm in heaven.

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In other news:

I had to get new compression stockings yesterday, mine are about 4 years old and have lost what makes them valuable. My athlete friends believe that they understand the compression thing, they don't, unless they have medical grade compression that is for something other than recovery, maybe that's not a fair thing for me to say... I guess mine are for recovery, the recovery of circulation and a damaged valve. I spent the better half of last night trying not to get into the 'this really sucks that I need these' depression. I just have to be firm with myself and remember: 'There are worse fates, you are not dying, you have two legs that are functional, and you live a pretty damn good life.'

Life, gotta love it, I know I do.

On the training front. I'm not doing TOO bad this week. I missed a run and decided to forgo the second swim, BUT I met with my new coach!!! I'm so excited for next season. We met on Wednesday for lunch and kind of mapped out my first 'A' race for next year, which is the Austin 1/2 Marathon. This style of coaching will fit me better, I believe anyway. Warning, I'm about to sound like a parrot that repeats itself! In every other aspect of my life I LOATHE being told what to do, but with this athletic stuff I need a firm hand and lots of direction. Left to my own devices I discovered (the hard way) that I mash all of my training into a small window, I get it done, but then need more recovery and the cycle keeps repeating itself.

With this new training regime I will get a weekly schedule that is already mapped out for me. And I report back and someone is looking over my shoulder and giving me frequent feedback. VERY excited. I'm staying with the T3 team on the weekends and joining a gym. This way I can do what I need to do with a facility that is just a couple of miles away. At first I felt guilty, but then I remember that this is my life and I need to do what fits and is good for ME.

Goals for next year:

-Become a stronger runner

-Volunteer a LOT

-Be very picky with races

-Keep it fun and light - I do NOT make money doing this...I pay to do it

-Be selfish with my training (this will be the hardest one)

Alright, time for me to feed my crazy cold weather loving pups and then head to the new Natural Grocery Store that opened up this week! Peace out Peeps!

The Blogging Project - Day Twelve

'Something I am OCD about'

Hmmm... I don't think that I am OCD about anything really. I've been sitting here wracking my brain to think of something (anything) that I do every day. The only thing I can come up with is washing my face and brushing my teeth. Is that really OCD? I do it even if I'm three sheets to the wind, always wash my face and brush my teeth. I don't think it's OCD, just a lifetime of habits.

Oh, maybe there is one thing (again, I don't really think it qualifies as OCD, but whatever) that I do almost every day. I re-arrange the dishes in the dishwasher. Trainer just puts the bowls in there however they fit instead of putting them one after the other. It's not efficient or a good use of space so I end up re-doing every day. Is that OCD? Other than that I've got nothing. Unless someone can tell me what I do that would be semi-OCD?

Huh, well, this is a short one then!

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On the training front - I'm back on the horse. I took my one week of bliss and unmindful eating - meaning I had WAY too many empty cals and fat and didn't give a crap, AND I didn't work out aside from walking all week!!!

Sunday was my first exercise day back, a nice (EASY) 15 mile no-drop ride followed by a yummy brunch. Monday was my usual rest day (I really needed it after that brutal 15mi ride...haha), Tuesday I ran 4 mi with D (need to come up with some new names...) and today I hitched a ride and made it to Coach Pain's swim practice. I've been wanting to go to her practices for a long time, just couldn't wake up to do it. SO I bribed a friend/teammate with coffee if she picked my ass up, and it worked! And now my shoulders are going to fall off...but worth it.

Today I'm meeting with my new coach!! Very exciting stuff. AND she's effing hilarious, we're going to get along great, I just know it. Back soon with Day Thirteen!

Reflections...

My first reflection is: should have waited a day or two to write my race report and let myself process everything. But, I didn't...so here we go.

I recently wrote this to a friend: 'You do not make me who I am. I define myself. I am me.' I think I made it up, but I read so much that I could have taken it from somewhere. :) However, looking at my advice or words to her I can relate them to myself. The race did not make me a triathlete...the months of training did. I still define myself and I am me - an awesome wife, dog mom, friend, athlete, funny (even witty at times) person who decided that racing 70.3 miles was a good idea. And it was.

I like to push myself beyond my limits, and sometimes I choose to do too much too soon. But hey, we have to keep life interesting and it gives me good fuel for my blog.

The race pictures came out last night. I was relieved to know that I wasn't crazy and my left leg was indeed swollen. I was also happy that they came out decent, I was even smiling at the end. If you didn't know me well you won't even see the grimace in the last picture! And looking at the pictures made me realize (once again) that what I did WAS amazing, even more so considering my leg! So I AM a badass rockstar!

This experience has made me stronger, it has given me the opportunity to meet some really great people who will be in my life for a very long time and shown me both my strengths and weaknesses.

Now...on to the entertaining parts of the race:

-I am always amazed by the 'outfits' that people wear for these races. Some people were wearing the bike shorts that they had JUST purchased a day or two before - can we say 'Chaffage?'

- The conversation you have with yourself during a tri:

Swim

Mind - Okay, let's do this!

Body - Yep, let's do it!

M - Strong strokes, remember what your coaches say

B - Yeah, yeah...tpr, rotate, alligator sighting...got it.

M - Hey, we're slowing down

B - Um, yeah...that happens when someones arm is grabbing my leg and we're not on a date!

M - Go, go, swim faster!

B - Look, just trying to breathe, not take in the entire lake, meanwhile belching underneath the water!

M - I see the shore! I see people!!

B - I see...'Ouch. MOFO! (&#%!! Hit in the head!!'

M - We're out of the water!

B - LAND!!! Shit, where did my legs go?

Bike

M - Woohoo, our favorite part!!

B - Yep, let's get into this rhythm thing

M - Circle, circle, keep drawing circles

B - Got it, doing it

M - Oooh, pretty sights...look at that field

B - Hey, concentrate! Focus! Eat! Drink!

M - Be Merry??

B - NO, not merry, shift

M - Uphill, you know what to do

B - Yep...oh, wait, sheister...Hello quads, nice of you to make an appearance

M - Only 2 more hours to go!

B - $(^&#$# 2 more hours to go.

M - Pretty...

B - SHUT UP!

Run

M - We got this. 2/3 of the race down!!

B - Why are my legs always missing through transition?

M - Helllloooo??? 2/3 down,check?

B - Check. Gotcha. Going to start...run...ning...maybe not.

M - Okay, just 2 minutes, get into your zone, we've done this.

B - Yep, I remember the amount of times that I've done this...thanks.

M - LOOK! People!!

B - Crap, people, must run. Ok, shuffle. Ok, keep moving at least.

M - Into the park we go, there has to be shade! :)

B - Yep, somewhere...where is it? YOU PROMISED SHADE!

M - Eat something, you're grouchy.

B - Eat, drink, not very merry.

M - More people!

B - Feet won't go faster, sorry.

M - Come on! People are watching!!

B - Do I look like I give a crap? I'm trying to breathe here!

M - Look, last mile.

B - Oh, sweet, I'm awake now...all good. I'm good. Ouch. Shit. I'm good!

M - Camera alert!

B - Smile!

M - I see the last turn!

B - Oh, look! My stride has returned! Look at my feet lift off the ground!!

M - About time...

B - Hey, doing what I can...

M - Woot! Woot! Finish line baby!!!

B - Rockin! Smile, smile, grimace, smile, cry, smile!

That's all for now. I have plenty more to say and I still need to complete my little blogging project, but it will wait another day!

Thanks for hanging with me through all of this craziness peeps. Next year will be so much better! Wait...did I just say that? HAHAHA!

Longhorn 70.3 Race Report (LONG POST!)

So, buckle in and grab some snacks, this is a long report.

My morning started off at 4am, woke up, made the coffee and oatmeal and sat down at the computer to check Facebook. It's relaxing and mundane which is good for race morning. I had my bags packed and ready to go. I stretched on the floor with the pups (well, they weren't stretching, they were still sleeping wondering WHY THE HELL we were up so early.) My bike was already racked so I gathered my stuff and left the house at 5:20am, should have plenty of time to get there, drop off my run back and put my nutrition on the bike.

I brought a banana and bagel with me to get extra cals in before the start. Coach told us to eat about 600-800 cals before the start. I had 300 down with my oatmeal, the banana would be an additional 100 and the bagel is over 200. Perfect!

Okay, so this is where it gets 'not the way I planned it' and I sat in traffic for 1hr and 45 min. Reaching the parking lot at 7:05am, transition was supposed to close at 7:15am and I still had to catch a bus to the lake. I ran in my flip flops from my car (which they had us park really far away!!) to the run transition, found my number and dropped off my bag. Then I ate my banana as I got on a bus to the lake and bike transition. Got there at 7:13am to the announcement that the race would start on time and 'Please exit the transition area.' I finally heard that the delay was an accident, and I couldn't believe that they weren't going to delay the race as there were still athletes parking. But, I squeezed into transition, my training friend had put my helmet out for me (thank you!!) and I got my water bottles on. At the last minute I remembered that I hadn't pumped up my tires. I found a pump got one tire done and then went to the other side and it was deflating my tire instead of putting air in. Stressed to the max, I finally got it to at least 90-100psi (My usual is 110psi so I was a little freaked) and left transition.

I was so mad from the morning's events and my adrenaline was pumping, but the good thing was that I didn't have time to stress about the 1.2 mile swim. As we all know, swimming terrifies me and I'm not a great swimmer, not to say that I haven't made great strides within this year. Well, it was too late to eat my bagel, I had never done that before swimming so I didn't want to have cramps and dnf (did not finish) in the water. Got my wetsuit on and saw a lot of my T3 peeps volunteering and already giving us morning cheers.

The swim - I rocked this (for me) and finished in 46:35 (2:27/100), which is better than my normal pool time of 2:30/100!! Very excited! I got my wetsuit down, plopped on the ground for the wetsuit strippers to do their thing (sounds dirty doesn't it? Teeheehee) and off I went. Coach called out, 'She's right in front of you! Go get her!' He was referring to one of my training friends. I tried to run up the hill, but it didn't happen. I got stickers in my feet and decided to take my time, get my heart rate down and relax. Transition 1 - 7:27 (whoops!)

On to the bike. We were told to start eating asap, I waited until 7 min had passed making sure that the blood transferred to my legs. So far so good, got my first bottle down within the hour. Took 2 salt tabs and was enjoying myself. The second hour is where things started to go South. I ate 1/2 my power bar and it didn't sit well at all. I tried drinking water and the stomach cramps came. I kept eating and drinking, but I only got half of it down. I poured water on myself like I was told, but MY GOD the chaffing was terrible. I forget that we don't often practice swimming then biking, need to do this more. The ride started to feel really hard, and in spots where I usually fly. It felt windy, but when I looked around I didn't see the trees moving. In the third hour I started on my second bottle of nutrition. Got 3/4 of it down. Didn't finish my water. Total bike - 3:08:17 (17.85 avg mph)

As I rolled into the transition my back hurt and my shoulders hurt. Very unusual for me after riding. But I took out all of my run gear (we had to keep it in bags, which was different) and put all my bike gear in. I saw T and he was saying 'Go, Go!' and I said, 'I'm trying, not working!' and off I went. Transition 2 - 4:57 (way too long!!)

I started jogging (shuffling) and quickly realized that my quads were toast. And they shouldn't have been. My plan was to run an 11 min mile, as I've been doing 10-10:30 on my longer runs. Well...as I got to mile marker 1 I was at 14 min. I DID stop and use the port-a-john, but that didn't take too much time. I did some calculations in my head and knew to make my goal of 7hrs I would have to do a 13 min mile. Here is where it got really, really hard. The sun was beating down (or so it felt) and by mile 3 nausea had set in. I carry my water with me and it has a pouch for nutrition. I started chomping on these gummy Honey Stingers (tasty) and sipping my water. The really hard part about the run is that it's two loops. So when you're on your first loop the first sign you see is 'Mile 8' and knowing that you haven't even hit mile 2. Big bummer.

Through the park we went, the volunteers were great, thank goodness they were there since no one else was in the park, and 2/3 of the course was away from spectators. I made myself a deal. If I needed to I could walk up the inclines, but had to jog any decline and flat section. It worked for the first loop, kind of. My run coach was at the top of this long ass hill and as soon as I knew he could see me I started jogging (hahaha), but man did it help with him out there. At mile 5 I started feeling really sick. I dry heaved and had to stop, but then kept going. I ran past all the cheering sections and they said 'You're looking great! Almost there!' and bless their hearts I just wanted to bite their heads off b/c I knew that I didn't look great or strong and I just wanted to cry!!

I ran past T at the turnaround for loop 2 and he said, 'Almost there!' and I said, 'WTF would you say that???? I'm just starting my 2nd loop!!!' I was pissed. Which I guess was his intention, except unlike most people I don't get motivated with that kind of thing, I get into self-defeating mode. So onto the second loop. I try to take a Hammer Gel and I have to chew it because it does not want to go down...at all. My clot leg was like a lead weight, it felt like it weighed 5lbs and was getting more and more swollen by the mile. I kept sipping water, had 2 oz of Gatorade and as I reached mile 10 I was sick of eating and drinking. Nothing was making me feel better. I really wanted to stop. But I didn't.

I kept going and ran up the section of the hill where my run coach was. I ran through the park and let the volunteers put ice down my back (THAT was awesome) and walked/ran until I got to the spectator section. I ran it in, finishing with a forced smile on my face (you have to have a good finish photo right???) and seriously was wishing that there was no one there. Run time - 2:48:31 (12:51min mile)

I wanted to cry. The overwhelming emotions of finishing, feeling bad, relief...etc. You get the idea. But my husband, friends, co-workers, teammates....they were all there. I finished in under 7hrs, my goal.

It was a good race and it was a bad day. I finished and I'm proud of myself. There are so many lessons and takeaways from this day. But for today it's just - 'I finished!'

Tapering is supposed to be fun???

There is a period in training called 'Taper', pretty self explanatory, you wind down your sessions and rest your body getting it ready for the event. Every time I think about the event I get a little sick, yep, still.

Okay, so I took Wed - Fri off of work to rest and now I'm BORED! There are a ton of things I could be doing, like sorting the crap room (Trainer's name for it, it's really the craft room.) I could be cleaning the floors, house, doing laundry...lots of things. What I want to do is go shopping, however we're trying to save money and I would end up buying crap that I want, not need. I could be cooking, but even that didn't hold my interest, last night we had pizza. Yes, I was off ALL day long (all I did was run 4 miles and do 45 min of core) and we ended up with pizza for dinner. *sigh*

Tapering does not set well with me. Today I rode my bike to work and back (30 min total) and I'll go swim in a little bit in some open water. Yawn!!! I've been on facebook all day, uploaded some albums I've been meaning to get to and really just wasted the day. I think I'm one of those people who need to be busy to be efficient. Maybe? Or do you think I'm just lazy? It could be a combo. Restless, that is what I'll call it...I'm restless...but rested.

Alright. Well, maybe I'll vacuum before I hit the water, maybe that will make me feel like I did something today.

OHHH, please leave a comment and give me a story to think about during my 13.1 mile run. I'm going to dedicate these miles to the people in my life, stories will make it go by faster. Please?? Pretty please? :)

The Blogging Project - Day Eleven

This is supposed to be about a recent picture of me...hmmm, there are so many. Be right back...

Okay, so this picture is from July, not super recent, but it's one that I love.

Not because I look awesome (b/c I don't think that), but because there, on my face, is exactly how I feel when I finish these races. I had just sprinted my way up that little hill to the finish line giving it everything that I could...putting it all out there.

This triathlon thing is hard for me. I think I've expressed that before. Athletic endeavors...yeah, well it's just hard work. Give me a new piece of sheet music to sight read, or a new book to devour...all over it. Give me open water and ask me to jump right in?? I'll look at you like you're evil and slowly lower myself into the water and panic for about 3-4 minutes.

My journey though this past year and some months has been incredible. I've met some wonderful people, new training partners, new friends and found some new confidence. Looking back at the start of this 16 weeks of training when we had to ride 40 miles and then the next day run 7 and then a month or so later be able to ride 75 miles and run 13...well, it's just flabbergasting and it's ME doing it! My race is rapidly approaching and every time the word 'Sunday' is spoken I throw up a little in my mouth. :) Nice right? Sorry, but really this is how I'm feeling.

What have I learned?

That I am capable of more than I give myself credit for.

That my husband does support me, even if it's not in the way that I expect him to (ie; the way that I would do it for him!)

That I have no ambition to do a full IronMan, I won't say never, but seriously this takes enough of my time...I can't imagine doubling up on the training.

That I have incredible friends that have helped me through this time in one way or another.

That the will to finish will overcome the physical challenges of any given day.

And that said...

That I WILL finish this 70.3 mile race on Sunday.

Thank you all for hanging with me through all of this. I hope to get back to the entertaining blogs soon. I miss them as much as you! Peace for now!

The Blogging Project - On hold

Okay, so obviously I've had little time (or motivation) to post in the last umpteen days. The Half IronMan is approaching fast and I've been training, recovering and now tapering. This taper period is not fun. I like the longer miles, the feeling of doing something significant. Now I go run 30 min and I'm like, 'Why bother?' I know the reason of course, but still...eh.

My bestie Yoga Zen Babe had her baby!!!! Sweet little Zen Baby and she is precious. I got to watch my little Zen Boy while his mom was upstairs being the strong, beautiful, warrior princess that she is - having her baby. Home birth, no drugs, no tearing, just a little yelling and it was all over in a jiff. Or that's how it seemed to me...being downstairs and not pushing a baby out my va-jay-jay.

Update on stats: Born on October 6th at 11:15am, 9lbs, 10oz and 19 3/4 inches long!

Truth time, I'm freaking out. I feel like I should be doing so much more. I feel like I'm not ready. I feel like I'm not going to get out of the water. ANXIETY!! And then I breathe....and the butterflies quiet down a bit. Not completely gone, but quiet.

Alright, back to work. I'm going to be a super slacker next week. I took Wed - the next Wed off. I love having paid vacation time. Peace out my lovelies, I'll post next week.

The Blogging Project - Day Ten

Okay, so this post is supposed to be about a photo of me that was taken over 10 years ago...however I don't have one! Oh, maybe on FB someone has tagged a pic of me from a long time ago. I mean, 10 year...I would have been 27...there WERE digital pics back then. Where are they all? So here is what I came up with:

This is me, my senior year of HS and I'm with my a'capella group that we named Octapella...so smart we were. I'm the one sitting next to the teacher. I was 17 and thought I was fat and I would KILL for those legs now!

I was a 'goody goody' kid in high school, I didn't drink, didn't do drugs, hadn't had sex. The furthest I had gone with a boy was french kissing and some feeling up over the clothes. I dressed in clothes that would hide my body. Being a curvy size 4-6 I was embarrassed about my body, I couldn't wear junior sized clothing because of my hips and bust, so my clothes were from Casual Corner. Yep, hip as can be....if you are a 27-35 year old professional....haha.

I don't know what I would tell that girl in this picture. Maybe nothing at all. She ran far, far away from home to get away from everything. The competition she felt with her friends, the repression she felt with her mother, the sense that there was always someone watching and judging... She made her way and became her own person. She discovered that she could be funny and witty. She made a lot of friends, hurt some people along the way (herself included), but in the end came out looking pretty good.

Some days I wonder if I'm still running away. From what now, I have no idea. Maybe distance is something I need to see the world clearly. Or maybe I'm just full of sh*t. My eyes are brown after all. Well, until Day Eleven...peace out kids!

The Blogging Project - Day Nine

A Photo I Took

I guess this is supposed to revolve around a photo I took. Hmmm, should I pick a person photo, the pups, a nature scene? Let me go through my photos really quick and pick something that I can talk about. Oh, here we go, my dad.

My dad is the best, ask anyone who knows him and they'll agree with me. This is all he needs to make him happy - his Broncos cap, a t-shirt, and a beer...although I believe at this point he was drinking water. My father had a rough upbringing, although if you ask him about it he'll tell you stories and just chuckle at the outcome. He was raised by my alcoholic grandmother and was in and out of the foster care system until my grandmother decided to sign him up for the Army at age 17. I thank my lucky stars that this actually happened. I think the Army saved my dad and his future.

My dad hardly ever complains. He was my grandfather's caretaker until the end, and sure, there were times when he was frustrated beyond belief, but he still did it. Married to my mom for 38 years a quite a feat in itself. (Don't get me wrong, I love my mother, but she's a hard woman to live with!) He worked his fingers to the bone to provide for his family, always picking the third shift because it paid more. He was the one that would tell me that he was proud of me, he even wrote me a letter when I went to college. Trying to keep the peace in my family is difficult, that was my job as a youngster and his job now that he's retired.

We have a special bond, I am his little girl, his 'Pumpkin', and I get him. If I can be just a tiny bit like my dad then I think I'll have accomplished something in life. That means that I grew up to be a kind, caring, hard working person that takes nothing for granted and sees the humor and greatness in all events that life gives us. My dad, my hero.

The Blogging Project - Day Eight

A Photo That Makes Me Angry/Sad

Well huh...I don't know that I've ever taken a photo that makes me angry or sad, and if someone took one of me I'd probably delete it. Let me see what I can come up with... So, I was just looking through my pictures and the ones that make me sad are the ones where I'm out of shape and I look 'fat' in my opinion. But, I've come so far from that person that I really don't want to post it...or bring up those feelings of inadequacy. I could get all political an show you pictures of things that disgust me. But really, that's not what my blog is about. I'll have to settle for this:

Why does this make me sad/angry? Because this young girl didn't have parents that looked after her best interest. She had greedy parents who gave into her whim to become famous, and famous she became and then self-destructed. Yes, she made some bad choices, but her parents were supposed to protect her from herself at a young age and give her the foundation, the boundaries, the moral compass...I can go on and on. I'm not a parent so most people don't take me seriously when I get on a soap box about parenting. Understandable, but this is just common sense. It really angers me when parents take the easy road. You really should have to take a test, get a license...SOMETHING...to become a parent. It's okay if your kids don't like you for putting rules in place! I really disliked my mom for a LONG time, but now I cherish her and understand why she did what she did. Okay, off the soap box...

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In training news:

I got new cycling shoes. They run about $200 (I know, expensive - but they last for 10-15 years) for the medium pair. With my discount it was going to end up being $150. Well...I went in again yesterday (I had gone in on Thursday as well to look and try on since it's such a big investment) and talked more to the guy there. The lady on Thursday recommended the Mtn biking shoes b/c of my pedals (all pedals are specific to the cleat/clip on the shoe.) If I got the Mtn bike shoes I wouldn't have to change my pedals, BUT it would limit my pedal choices in the future.

The pedals that I have are pretty beginner, the same kind of clips that are on spin bikes. SO, after talking to the guy in the store yesterday he recommended the top line shoe and changing out my pedals since I've been riding for 6 years and I could be more efficient and have more power with new pedals. When I put on the uber expensive shoe it was like heaven. We looked at the pedals as well and he recommended a mid-line pedal of a better brand (which happens to be a brand that Trainer really loves and started with) and I added it all up in my head and I told him I needed to go talk it over with the husband since it was a BIG purchase.

Went home and talked to T about it over lunch and he agreed that if I'm going to make the investment it should be in the better shoes and I should really have new pedals anyway, since new bikes don't come with pedals I can just transfer them, one less expense when we make THAT purchase! Went back to the store, the guy looked at me with his eyebrows raised (as in, 'we're a go?'), I nodded my head and now I have lovely SIDI shoes (hand-stitched Italian leather, made BY Italian people) and LOOK pedals. T's mom sent me money to buy new clothes (athletic of course) so I just used that and the rest was out of our pocket...which ended up being the original $150 that I thought!

The knee? Did the Zilker relays last night, it went okay, the knee hurts like a bitch this morning, but overall not a bad performance. I went a LOT faster than I thought I could...so naturally both Trainer and think the course is a short 2.5 miles. Right now? Going to get ready, put on those shoes that make my heart sing and go for a short 25-30 mile ride. LOVE!

The Blogging Project - Day Seven

Okay, Okay...so I skipped the weekend? It was my birthday weekend after all! (Which, btw, was fabulous and is still ongoing - I take my b-day week to extremes...it's sad really.)

A Photo That Makes Me Happy

Just one??? Really? I may have to use a couple...or more than a couple...you can guess why they make me happy.

This is a picture taken before Yoga Zen Babe and I ran the Nike Women's San Francisco Half Marathon. I got into the best shape of my life and met one of the most wonderful, inspirational, beautiful people I could have ever hoped to meet. We were running partners and became best friends that shared more than you can imagine. She is still in my life and I thank my lucky stars every day for that. :)

These are the babies, not too hard to guess why this picture makes me happy. The best part about this picture is the way he is looking at her, almost like, "Get Serious Syd!" This was taken during their obedience class when they were 4-5 months old.

And this last one...Trainer, relaxed and on vacation in Cabo. I'm sure he had just said something snarky and this is his, "What??" expression and gesture. This whole week made me happy, it has made the past 15 years worth every minute. Not that given a choice I wouldn't have taken an easier road on some of those journeys, I'm not a glutton for punishment after all. But if those heartaches and headaches meant that I'd end up with him at the end of the day, stronger for everything we've been through? Yeah, I'd do it again.

The Blogging Project - Day Six

20 of My Favorite Things

Not in any particular order:

1. The smell of rain, especially when the air is crisp
2. Sitting by the ocean, listening to the waves and soaking up the positive ions
3. Being told "I love you" for no particular reason
4. Sleeping in and watching Sports Center in bed, not getting out of bed all day...hehehe
5. My Kate Spade purse (took me a long time to get one)
6. Reading books
7. When I'm feeling down and my puppies come and love on me b/c they just know I need it
8. Peanut butter
9. When my dad calls me Pumpkin
10. Coffee/Espresso
11. When my buddy Zen Boy (no longer a baby!) yells out my name and jumps into my arms when I go visit him.
12. Pedicures
13. Sitting on the porch/balcony of a place near the ocean drinking Coronas at sunset
14. Cooking and mostly watching people enjoy the food I've cooked
15. Making people smile or laugh when they're having a hard time
16. The feeling I get after riding an absurd amount of miles on my bike
17. Hanging with my girls, any of them at any time, love my friends
18. Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream by Hagen Daaz
19. Baths, love them! Wish I had a bigger tub in this house!!!
20. My BIRTHDAY! (you knew that was coming right?)

Those are just 20 of my favorite things....that wasn't as hard to do because I didn't have to pick just one! What are some of your favorite things?

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Ran my 12 miles, the knee is not doing good. It just had to hold out for two more races. I just can't bend it...shouldn't be a problem right? Have a great day everyone!

The Blogging Project - Day Five

My Favorite Quote

Oh, how does this quote go...I should have it memorized right...if it's my favorite??? Yeah, you figured right, I don't have a favorite quote. Here are some that I'm very fond of:

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” –Albert Einstein

“Leap and the net will appear.” –Zen saying

“Everything we do affects other people.” –Luke Ford

"Pain is temporary, but quitting lasts forever!"- Lance Armstrong

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” –Winston Churchill

All, have the same concepts: struggles, difficulty, learning, understanding, accepting and the will to keep going. If I had to chose a favorite it of these it would be "Leap and the net will appear" as this is how I've been living my life. A series of leaps and unknowing. AND if you notice, is the founding phrase for my blog - Another Leap of Faith. Sometimes the net is a little lower than I thought, but it is always there, always supporting and enabling myself to bounce back up and jump again.

Sorry for the late post, this means two blogs today...but my wireless wasn't/isn't working and I prefer to write my nighttime blogs in front of the tv so I can be with Trainer.

Do you have a favorite quote that inspires you, makes you think about your choices, or one you just really like?

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Training news - I'm supposed to run 12 miles today, solo. Which about a month ago I would have been okay with. But I've been running with people and you get used to that. So it will be me with my Shuffle out today on the road. I should have gone out about 2 hrs ago....which would have meant me getting up at 5:30am. My alarm was set, but my hand got a mind of it's own and kept hitting the snooze until said hand just turned the darn thing off. Up at 7am, no bueno. Just took the pups out though and it's still a little cooler out. I'm leaving in 20 minutes whether I like it or not.

Tweaky knee - still tweaky. We're just dealing with it and moving on. Everything on my body is in revolt, tightening up and screaming at me...but, I just put on my shoes and go until I can't hear it anymore.

The Blogging Project - Day Four

My Favorite Book

Are y'all bored yet? See, I thought maybe blogging everyday would get some of my older readers back, but really I think it's made them go...eh, whatever...we'll catch up next week. No? Yes?

I think there are two more 'favorite' posts and then on to other topics.

Books....oh lordy...books. I love books, as in 'Puffy Heart with Glitter on it' love. I've been an avid reader since I was 8 I think, yes, 8 was my first long chapter book. Then I fell in love with being in another world when I was 9. My parents read all of the time, my older brother read and when he was old enough I used to read to my little brother to help him go to sleep. Of course he reads now as well. We weren't an athletic family, but man...we were a well read family!

Once again, I don't have just one favorite. The only kind of books that I don't care for are Horror novels, at least ones that will scare you...because I like the Anita Blake series by Laurel K. Hamilton, and that is considered Horror. And I could do without most Sci-fi and Fantasy. I tried reading those in my youth and they didn't take.

The one book I can say that I truly love is Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I went on a rant already in this post so I won't bore you with the details again, but in short - changed my outlook on life and how I deal with things. VERY healthy book for me. Other books that I can read over and over - All of the Harry Potter books (I used book 6 to get me through my 4 hour tattoo) and all of the Merry Gentry books by Laurel K. Hamilton.

Books that I eat like yellow cake with chocolate frosting??? Historical romance novels. LOVE the ones with great sex scenes. ;) Yes, the dirty girl continues to rear her lovely head! I also love them when they are in a series so you can continue the family/friend line and read more about their lives. Ahhh....to be transported to England during the Napoleon years.

Do you have a single favorite book?

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Went on a three mile run with the tweaky knee and it was doing okay until mile 2 point something. Then I had to stop, hopped on one leg and massaged the knee area until I was able to go again. I didn't walk though, did not want to walk any of these three mile. I came home, iced it and put on a compression stocking (the whole leg is gross and swollen so that may be adding to it) and went to work.

My eating has been crappy lately so I decided to make Crockpot Applesauce Chicken for dinner, I'll let you know how it turns out. I just about burned my rice while blogging...so that may not turn out either. Low-fat, Low-sodium, hopefully not 'Low-taste.' Anywho....tune in tomorrow for my next 'Favorite' post. :) Peace!

The Blogging Project - Day Three

My Favorite Television Program

What is it with all these 'favorites' topics?? In the time of my life where I'm really trying to cut back on tv...ugh. Again, I don't really have a favorite.

Growing up it would have to have been a tie between Family Ties and The Cosby Show. Those were great shows. I didn't watch tv while in college (too busy studying) or the years following (too busy drinking.) I really don't remember getting back into television until my late 20s after we were married and moved into the house. My favorite show then would have to have been Alias, although I didn't watch it while it was on...I rented all the DVDs through Netflix. We'd have all-nighters watching just 'one more' episode. In fact my pups are named after Alias characters! Sydney Bristow and Gunthar Jack. :)

By day:

Monday - Football or Intervention

Tuesday - White Collar

Wednesday - Top Chef

Thursday - Grey's Anatomy or Burn Notice

Friday - nada

Saturday - nada

Sunday - nada

On the 'nada' nights we'll watch a movie or I'll read OR I'll be getting my stuff ready for the next morning when I get up at o'dark thirty to exercise.

These are shows I like to watch, but it never kills me if I miss any of them. They just don't make shows like they used to! OH, what I don't like?? 'Reality' dating shows. Gag.

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In other news, the knee is still tweaky (I like that made up word.) I'm going to try and run tomorrow, see how it goes. Frustrating.

In fun news I found some OLD, OLD friends on facebook. Good times. I spent some time last night talking to my lifelong best friend who is really more like my sister - Hoe, as we all know her. It was good to chat and laugh and today we talked some more and cracked up over old boyfriends and how awesome our lives are now. Ahhh...we've come so far...and still have so much to learn! Be back tomorrow peeps! Peace. :)

The Blogging Project - Day Two

My Favorite Movie

Another hard one, not quite as hard as the 'favorite song' topic, but still...I have to pick one? I think these are all hard for me because really - I have no favorites...see #17 of that post. (Funny side note - today I was bored at work...well kind of avoiding work...and I was going through my older posts, good stuff in August of 2008!) Sorry, back to the topic at hand.

Maybe I can break it down into genre?

Favorite action flick - Indiana Jones The Last Crusade

Favorite historical movie (loosely based on historical events) - Gladiator

Favorite Western - Tombstone

Favorite comedy - Tommy Boy

Favorite teen movie - The Breakfast Club

Favorite drama - Chocolate (Hmmm, this probably doesn't qualify as a drama...) so maybe Dead Poets Society

Favorite chick flick - Bridget Jones' Diary

Favorite series - Harry Potter

Overall Favorite - Good Will Hunting (I think...well, I really love it anyway)

Eh, not a great topic for me. I'm so wishy washy with this kind of stuff. But I'll ask (because I want to hear from you!!) - What is your favorite movie??

In other news....today was a much needed rest day. My left knee is killing me and I hope it's just a tweak and not anything serious. Tomorrow is strength training and swimming at night so really one more day of rest before I do more running/cycling. Going through my older posts today was kind of fun, some of them I don't remember writing and I was actually entertaining myself thinking, 'Where did this funny girl go??' Then I remember that work is slowly killing my soul. ;) I really need to get my shiznit (not a word) together and start writing...and maybe actually go to some workshops to hone that skill...and maybe, just maybe make some money doing it....maybe.

Oooh...did I mention that it's Birthday Week???? NO? Really? Well it is. And I'm not too excited this year...why is that? Maybe I'll enlighten myself as this week goes on. See you tomorrow for Day Three!!

The Blogging Project - Day One

My favorite song

Wow, this is a hard one. I've been studying music since I was 7 years old. I love all kinds of music, really there are only a few styles that I don't like and only because I don't see any musicality in them at all. Such as Thrash Metal...I just don't get it.

I have several artists that I adore, several composers who have put life into my soul. To pick just one song...gah, almost impossible. Well, it won't be a composer because I consider those compositions works of art, and I believe this Blogging Project is asking something a little more mainstream. (However, 'The Planets' and 'Finlandia' are my two favorite compositions.)

If we're talking mainstream music, songs that most people would recognize I would have to say 'Soak up the Sun' by Sheryl Crow. She's in my top three favorite artist of all time. The song is upbeat, fun, makes me want to be driving along the beach in San Diego with the windows down and singing loudly with the music. Here is my favorite part of the song:

I don't have digital

I don't have diddly squat

It's not having what you want

It's wanting what you've got

It resonates with me and this is how I've tried to live my life, loving what I've got and trying to not want materialistic thing (which of course I do...I'm human!) over things that are irreplaceable. Some of my other favorites:

Dave Matthews - Crash

Ashlee Simpson - Beautifully Broken

Velvet Revolver - Fall to Pieces

Wow, this project may be harder than I thought! But look for a post a day for the next 30 days.

What's your favorite song?

PS - The run was great, knee is hurting a bit, but I got 10 miles in.

The Blogging Project and other rambling

I still have readers!! And thank you for the comments, love you guys too. :) Yoga Zen Babe sent me this 'blogging project' that one of her friends is doing and she suggested that I give it a try - so here we go: 30 days of blogging, I have the topics in my inbox for each day. I'm not sure if I'll start this today or tomorrow, probably today, but later.

Right now it is o'dark thirty and I'm up eating my oats and drinking my coffee in anticipation to go run 10 miles. Since my body is all jacked up it takes it a while to be able to 'go' in the am, and 'go' I must before a run or the consequences can be dire. As in, 'if I don't find a bathroom RIGHT now we'll all be in trouble' kind of dire. I started running with the group, now that I've found my own little group of turtles. We're not the fastest, but we always finish. It's been great. I'll have to think of nick names.

The girl I'm running with today I'm going to call Little Bit because she is tiny, tiny, tiny and so sweet. I met her out on a random ride one day, her group was coming in and I was riding solo and we chatted the whole way in. Ever since then any time I've seen her she's been super friendly and made me feel really welcome. My tri-group has been great through this Longhorn training and it really has helped finding my little niche of peeps that I can hang with.

Yesterday was a 54 mile bike ride on the Longhorn course, that was okay, less than fun, but not terrible. Another girl and I did a 30 minute brick (running right after you ride, no break, simulates a triathlon - kind of) right afterward and that was hard. It was hot and it's really hard to get your legs going, but that is the point. :) THEN I had to come home, stretch and recover in time for Trainer's first Client Appreciation Happy Hour!! It was a success. I had two beers while at the restaurant and have figured out that exercise and booze - bad choice for me. NO more drinking until this triathlon is over. And it's not a 'healthy' decision, it just makes me feel like crap.

Well, time to suit up for my run, I have my running skirt on, my watch and some random tank top. Now it's time to put on the bullet proof vest (my running bra), socks and my shoes. OH, best part about today's run?? We meet at Barton Springs and after we're done with our run we take off our shoes and sit in the 68 degree water. We go to the free 'hippy side' with all the puppies. Not quite as cold as an ice bath, but pretty close. Definitely something to look forward to! Have a great day and I'll be back later to start my project!

And once again...

It's now the middle of August....two months (almost) since my last post. I'm not sure what happened but I really stopped feeling like I had anything to say that was entertaining. Of course that isn't why I started this blog, but some days I think 'Wow, my life is dull and who the heck would want to read about it?' Out on my rides (that have gotten much longer) I think of all of these things to say and when I get back *Poof* they're gone.

I am getting ready for my next event, the Austin Tri Olympic. Last year this was my 'A' race and this year it's just another brick in the road leading to Longhorn 70.3. This past weekend was my longest weekend of training yet, I rode 70 miles on Saturday and ran 11 miles on Sunday. It was supposed to be 75 and 15, but sometimes your body just doesn't cooperate. All this training just makes you tired. I want to get to the point where I feel stronger! Not happening.

I cancelled my trip to AZ to see my best girlfriends and then watch my teammates race in the IMAZ. It was a fairness/money thing. If Trainer and I only get one trip this year (which has been decided) we should really do it together. So we found a week that works for both of us, Thanksgiving weekend, and made plans to go out of town. A nice, cheap trip that lands us on a beach and gives us some much needed time away from here - together. I guess I was being selfish, not really considering that he hasn't gotten away at all since our trip last year in October. I mean, why wouldn't he want to get away too right? So there you have it.

The pups are good, just trying to survive the summer like the rest of us in the blasted nasty humid really gross Texas heat. It wasn't too bad until the temps reached over 100 degrees with 91% humidity. Can't breathe....which makes it hard to do many other things...like train for a triathlon!!

Well, that's all for now. I'll come up with something witty this weekend I'm sure and I'll try to get it down so you have something entertaining to read! I hope I haven't lost all of my readers. Peace to everyone!

Has it really been that long?

It has!!! Wow the time is flying by and June is almost over. Just a quick update as I'm about to meet Yoga Zen Babe to go have tea and shop. LOVE these afternoons. Tonight I'm meeting up with Mz. Kitty and her crew, they just moved here from Utah and I'm SO excited. They wanted BBQ so we're taking them to Rudy's.

Had a 20 mile ride this morning followed by a 20 min run. Hilly route and I found out that I'm very allergic to coconut. Kind of sucks. I can eat it toasted but one swallow of the coconut water made my throat start to swell up. NOT good when it was my "nutrition" for the ride. I had put my carb powder in it so I just had plain water in the other bottle. Ugh, no bueno. My throat is still swollen, but I can breathe easier now.

Pups are good, Syd had another vet visit. She's scratching the heck out of where her hair is growing back in on her belly, leaving her with all sorts of sores and scabs. $200 later and antibiotics we're doing good.

Well, time to get going! Tomorrow is another 20 mile ride and then a 4 mile run, although I'm doing the run in the am and riding the 20 'recovery' miles with Mid West Girl. I'll try to update with more details next time! Peace everyone!!!

OH, and a very special shout out to my T3 teammates who are AMAZING and doing the CDA triathlon tomorrow. GOOD LUCK!!

I need to get my sh*t together

3 1/2 weeks until my next event. Last week I only got 7.5 hrs of training in, I was supposed to be in the 10hr range. You may not THINK that it's a big difference, but really it is.

See, I keep doing these silly things...like participating in this event called 'The Tour of Tens' which I had NO intention of doing!! This was a non-sanctioned/sponsored event put on by the Austin Hill Country Trail Runners (and I do have to say that the event itself was awesome, well thought out and fun in a Ireallyliketobetortured kind of way.) Anywho, the idea was to go to 5 of the hardest hills in Austin and do 10 repeats on each. When I saw it posted by one of my T3 teammates I thought 'Trainer would LOVE this' so I forwarded it to him and told him I would be the support vehicle. Little did I know that I would get sucked in.

I did two repeats (up and down the hill) at this really long hill called Jester (hmmm...yes, the hill was quite entertaining) and then ten at this other hill called Wilke. Now, Jester is 0.8 miles up/down and Wilke is only 0.38 miles up/down. However, Wilke is a steep mofo and this was my first time EVER doing hill repeats. Probably not the smartest thing to do while you're training for triathlons. I mean, yes...hill repeats are a good part of training, just not 12 when you've never completed 1 before in your life.

Sunday - Tapped out man. Couldn't even walk, there are knots in my FEET. IN.MY.FEET. Should have walked it out, foam rolled the calves (that were screaming wtf were you thinking?), and should have done so many things that I didn't do.

Monday - Uh, it hurt to walk to the bathroom in the morning, not a good sign for the day ahead. Did manage to take the pups out, although they were schooled in heeling once again.

Tuesday - Legs better, feet...not so much.

Today - Well, walked the pups. This afternoon I will swim and tonight after work I will run, possibly bike.

Trainer? Yes, he did two of the longest hills and ended up with 16 miles of hill repeats. He looked fabulous on the first hill and not too shabby on the second hill. However on the way to Wilke he cramped up and I had to pull over and shove salt tabs and nutrition down his throat. Thrilling. Really. But he was running on Monday, rode yesterday and probably got a run in. I swear if I didn't love him so much I would really hate him.

Side note - Went and saw my dietitian on Monday, we're going to tweak things, take ALL the salt out of my diet. I'm retaining on average about 5lbs of water and I drink about a gallon a day. SO, out with the sodium. Do you realize how much stuff has sodium in it? It's insane. No more lunch meat for me. I'll give more details about the meeting later. This is already a long post. :)

Peace to you kids out there!

Just a quickie

You know how I love those! Tee-hee-hee!

Kidding aside, I had a great weekend of training. It was rough adjusting to the heat and humidity, but overall not too bad! Got in two swims, a 35 mile bike ride with the team, an hour of core/strength and a not-so-successful-but-rolling-with-it run!

Stomach issues...well, we're still having some. However I'm willing myself to be completely healed by Friday when I go back to get my blood checked. :) Think it will work? I see my nutritionist on Monday the 14th so this week I'm documenting what I'm eating (again) and taking notes on what is less than pleasing to the tummy. Hopefully with her help I'll be able to get my 'issues' under control and have a good performance plan for the rest of my season! Easy Breezy (beautiful...always want to add that...)

I'll chat at you later!!

It's not going to kill me...so it better make me stronger!

I never intended this blog to be a whiny account of my life and ailments...but lately, really...WTH?

Saturday May 22nd - As we know I didn't do the Real Ale Ride, which by the end of the day was probably a good thing. I had my massage, good timing as my lower back and side were starting to feel really achy. I believed it was because of the adjustment. I figured that maybe the pain just transferred or that maybe it opened up some movement. Anyway, the massage felt great. Then I had dinner with an old HS friend and his family. We went to my favorite pizza place but I could hardly finish a slice. When I arrived home a few hours later I couldn't stand up anymore, the pain was bad...really bad. I was on my bed in tears and I couldn't breathe very well. I just figured it was a bad muscle spasm or something. Trainer helped me into a chair and we put heat on it and the pain subsided a bit. I slept with the heating pad.

Sunday - Woke up with the same pain in my side. No running. I cooked most of the afternoon for the week. Every now and then I would sit down and put heat on it, but sitting started to hurt as well.

Monday - No core workout. Woke up with pain, went to work, balanced myself on my left side all day b/c my right lower side/abdomen/back hurt. It was a constant dull pulsing in my side, hard to pin point and felt deep. I talked to a guy at work and he scared the bejezus out of me and convinced me that I needed to get the ER and have it looked at. I called my chiro to check and see if it was possibly related to the adjustment, it wasn't. But I had an appt with him Tuesday morning and he would check it out then. So, I waited.

Tuesday - Woke up once again with pain. It starts out dull in the am and then by the end of the day and especially when I ate the pain was super intense. Went to Chiro appt and he felt around in there and he hit a spot and I almost cried...again. He was convinced that it was my gallbladder and suggested that I go see my primary asap. Which was my next stop since I had to get my blood tested anyway. When I arrived there the nurse asked me how I was and I told her about my pain and I asked if I should make an appt. She told me to hang out and the Dr would be in shortly. The Dr came in and started asking questions, told me to lay back and he was poking and prodding my organs and when he hit my appendix it hurt so he was convinced that I had appendicitis. They scheduled me for a CT scan and told me not to eat, just in case I needed surgery. (He was prepping me just in case - WTF!)

Went to the CT appt, they asked if I had already drank the barium, which I hadn't since my Dr said it would be a CT without contrast. I was told that it wasn't up to my Dr and the radiologist wanted the barium AND iodine. Yippee. Not. Barium is disgusting, my happened to be banana flavored and I had to down about 22-24oz of it. I wanted to puke, however my better sense told me that if I did I would just have to drink more. You have to wait 90 min before you can do the scan so I went home and laid down. Went back, had the scan and my organs are clean! However I am still having the pain at this point...not a good thing.

Wednesday - The last thing to come in was my blood work, which showed both above and below normal white blood counts and an assortment of other inconclusive stuff. With the localized pain, type of pain and the fact that it hurt any time I ate and/or drank anything my Dr diagnosed me with an ulcer. He put me on Prilosec and took me off the aspirin.

Thursday - Nothing significant, except the fact that my Father in-law and his wife came to visit...not so good for the ulcer.

Friday - Dr Appt: I have two weeks to lose all of the symptoms, if not I get a GI scope, and THAT is something that I do not care to experience. We're (as in the Dr and his colleagues) looking into other kinds of platelet therapy.

Saturday - Nada. Although the pain has lessened. I've discovered one dietary change - no spicy food. It hurts ON the meds, can't imagine what it would be like without the meds.

Sunday - Ran 2 miles, some of the ugliest miles I've ever run. I almost puked on the way back. Awesome. The best part of Sunday? After we dropped the in-laws off we went to the Saucer (where I drank a heavy beer, less carbonation) and then back home to play Kissopoly....heheh...good times.

Monday - Not much, read a book. No exercise.

Today - Well, not too much. Worked, Dr, worked out, grocery shopped, came home and cooked and now I'm typing this. Which is super long...my apologies. Just had to get it all out.

I just updated my training log with my zero workouts for last week (except my 2 mile run) and I'm a little scared...because I have a tri in 6 weeks. Flippin' A.

Real Ale Ride: DE-nied

Better sense or maybe the pain upon waking this morning deterred me from going on the ride this morning. At first I tried to bargain with myself 'I'll just do the 30 mile, or maybe just the 15' but when I turned my neck and pain shot through my shoulder down to my hip....let's just say I fed the pups and sat up in bed.

Sometimes doing the right thing really sucks. I'm mad and disappointed that I didn't go, although I know in my mind that it was a good call. Pfffttt...that's what I say. Not sure what I'll do today. Maybe the pool will open and I can get some soothing laps in or something. At least I have the massage and dinner plans to look forward to. :)

One step forward...and then another

Yeah, you thought it was going to be '...and two steps back.' But, it's not. I took Monday off as my rest day. It wasn't supposed to work that way, but it did. Tuesday I woke up and did my 4.5 mile run. On the way out I was feeling pretty good, my muscles weren't too tight from the race, like I said - good. I have to cross over some railroad tracks on my route, usually not a big deal, however today as I was ON the tracks the lights started flashing, bells ringing and the cross arms started coming down...fast! Holy Sh*t! As slow as I am I ducked and crunched my neck and made it out on the other side as my only options were ducking and going under or going off into a ditch on the side of the road.

Whew! Close one that was. I kept on my merry little way down my route and on the way back the arms were down again...this lead me to believe that the RR x-ing is jacked up and that there was no train earlier.

6-8 hours later my neck starts hurting, bad hurting, but I didn't think too much of it...until I couldn't sleep that night. When I woke up in the morning (at 4:30am) I asked Trainer to leave me the number of his Dr. It hurt to breathe, raise my arms, move my head...well, it hurt to move. I went to work and looked up the Dr, they didn't open until 11:30 on Wednesday, just my luck, but I made it through lunch and they got me in late that afternoon. (bless them)

The Dr. said I had a compression injury, he said it was as if someone squished my head into my shoulders with a violent impact. I was thinking, 'Well, I did get tossed around in the water at the tri,' but really that was nothing too severe and for the pain to be so delayed? I didn't even think about the RR incident, but that is probably what happened. Just moved wrong and it ended up compressing two nerves, one in my neck and one in my back. He worked on me, manipulated the tissue around the nerves and sent me on my way.

Bottom line - I need to work on my posture doing just about everything: sitting, driving, cooking, reading...bah! The really jacked up thing? I am a MUSIC MAJOR, we've been taught to sit up straight with our shoulders back our WHOLE lives! I think the slouchy thing is a rebellious thing. Haha, I wish. It's just bad habit upon bad habit picked up since I graduated ASU in 1995...gawd I'm old.

Anyway, this weeks training has kind of sucked, I did manage to make it to 2 swim practices (I only made it through 30 min, but better than nothing), a strength workout and tomorrow I'm attempting the Real Ale Ride. The Dr cleared me to ride today, although he added that I will probably regret it b/c it's going to hurt. The good thing...I have a massage scheduled for the afternoon and then pizza with friends in the evening!

So, we just keep taking those steps forward, one foot in front of the other. The finish line is out there somewhere.