Work...the thing that pays for shit

I've decided that I need to be self-employed. I just had the most excruciating day all so I could get my allotted hours in...so they would pay me my 40 hours...of salaried pay.

Here are the things I like to do:

Read
Write
Talk

How do I make this into a job? Anyone? Well, just popped a pill and now I will rest hoping that my drug induced dozing will produce an amazing idea. Sigh...

Post-op 2 weeks gone

So, when I said I would be blogging more often I did intend for it to be more than once a month. :) And fair warning, this is a LONG ASS post.

I am now bionic. I will now set off the metal detectors in the airport. I now will have to check the box for radiology that says, 'metal implants'. I am repaired!

The surgery went really well according to the Dr., I obviously do not remember much about it. (Whew!) I was really nervous for some reason, not sure why, but just scared. My blood pressure was up to 125/80 or something like that and I rarely hit the 120s. Anyway, that morning I got there at 6:30am and had my blood drawn for my clotting factor. Then I met with the anesthesiologist team, one guy (Joe) was really sweet and he put in the nerve block. (The nerve block basically makes it so you can't feel anything on/in your leg...at all...trippy.) They wheeled me back as soon as they found out I wasn't going to bleed all over the place and started right about 8:35am. T left at that point to take Brodster to be boarded, we needed him nice and exhausted for when we were home together.

I woke up in recovery and was apparently out of it for hours. From my last couple of surgeries I remember that I do not wake up well, I'm cold, disoriented and well...scared...and thirsty. I was there for approx 3 hours and finally I was rolled up to a room, after I made them give me drugs for the vicious headache that just wouldn't go away. They gave me laudanum, which I only know from the movie 'Tombstone.' :) So I was plenty out of it in my room when my first visitor appeared. My friend who is a nurse of anesthesiology and was laughing at me...nice, but seriously it was SO sweet of her to show up. T had to work so he didn't see me until much later.

Have you ever been in the hospital? If not, let me tell you, it is NOT a restful place. They are in and out of your room every 2-3 hours. I was up and walking on crutches that very day! THAT DAY! Can you believe it? I couldn't, I thought the PT guy was stealing my drugs. But with the surgery I had they want you mobile as soon as possible so your quad doesn't wither up and die. Seriously. And of course at this point I still didn't know what kind of surgery I had. Fast forward, T comes by after work, I finally get my phone...my PHONE...my life line. Sad. I took my funny pics for FB. (what did we do before all this technology? Oh yes, relaxed and called and WROTE people...with a pen and paper.) I didn't have breakfast of course, or lunch and so my first meal (hospital meal) was dinner...and what did they bring me? FISH. EFFING FISH. Gross. Okay, well, I do like fish, when I prepare it or have it prepared in a way that I know I'll like. So I had them take that away and the really sweet nurse brought me a turkey and cheese sandwich that lasted me the entire night.

I slept...kind of...for about an hour at a time. Used the bedpan at 3 am...yes, I said bedpan. I hate bedpans, I can't imagine anyone out there who really likes them, but seriously...they suck. And my body refused to 'go' in a bedpan. T came by before he went to work in the am, some more friends stopped by, that was awesome, I had two more PT appts, all this before 3pm! That's when I finally got to go home. I hadn't seen my knee and still didn't know exactly what was done. The surgeon's PA (the one who diagnosed me) checked me out and she said I apparently have a high pain tolerance to have been walking around with a knee like that. I had damage in 3 places, side of the knee, under the knee and the patella, all down to the bone. Rockin.

The first 3 days post surgery were good, I was doing my PT, I was making progress thinking this wasn't so bad and then *BOOM* my nerve block wore off. Holy.Shit.Balls. I woke up and was crying, I don't cry that often, especially from pain. I took a lot of drugs that day. The next day was equally as bad and the day after that was minimally better. The fourth day I was seeing the light, when I didn't have the urge to wake up at 4am, pop a pill and go back to sleep. Fast forward to 2 weeks later, I'm feeling good.

I was weening myself off of the drugs until yesterday when I had my post-op appt. The dr said, "I'll be the first to cut you off if you're overdoing it, but by not taking them you are stalling your recovery." Huh, so today, back to popping pills every 6-7 hours. I have to do PT 3x a day, I generally do it 1.5x a day, I have to do a stim treatment 2x a day, I make it 1-2x as I can fit in, and I have to be on the CPM machine 4x a day. Well, I sleep with it and get one longer session in the afternoon, I figure the hours even out right?

Today was a big day though...I FINALLY got to take a shower. Sponge bathes, not my thing. *shudder*

Okay, so I had a partial knee replacement with metallic implants (or a metallic OATS procedure) and have two metal implants and a plastic patella. It's pretty wild looking. The Dr is going to send me pics of during surgery as well, it was nasty gnarly, but cool.

Alrighty, so I do have more to post about, but it will wait. I've already babbled on for the day. I do apologize if there are a ton of grammatical errors, I am under the influence. I'll be using that excuse for a bit. ;)

Peace out kiddies!

Time...flies....by...

Holy shitballs! Another 6-7 months has slipped by. I really had nothing to blog about, or rather that I wanted to blog about. I just read my last couple of blog posts...hahaha, my 'To Do' list for my 38th year is going to hell. I did do the 3M half and I signed up for the Splash and Dash races, I even signed up for an early race. Had the whole year planned out...SO excited....and then...life.

While training for the 3M half, which by the way was great and was my fastest half marathon to date, I took a hard fall on one of my last long runs. I was by myself, on mile 11 of 12 and was looking behind me to see if I could sprint across the street, and sadly my foot landed on the side of the curb, I was falling and didn't realize it until I hit the ground. I hit my knee and my wrist. Took a week off, went to the Dr (it was my fat clot leg) and they said to watch it. I did, nada, pain but I'm always in pain so whatever. I finished the race a few weeks later and then took about a month off. :)

I was training about 3-4 days a week, when I could squeeze it in. And then the most amazing thing happened..my work decided to send me to Europe! I've been wanting to go and meet my clients for years but never thought it would happen. So in late April I went over with the full intention of starting my training for my first almost Oly race in July. The first week I traveled everyday and the only exercise I got was walking/running to the gates in the airport and lifting my suitcase up above me on every flight. I'll have to write about my time in EU later, good times. ;) The second week I rode a commuter bike to my place of work every day (so 3 days) and swam twice. No running though. SO, when I came back I ran on Monday morning, 4 miles. Then Tuesday morning, 4 miles...exhausted! My next run was Saturday, I had an hour of running to complete and I did 5.5 miles, and then my knee blew up.

Well...it swelled up pretty bad anyway. So bad that I couldn't bend it by the end of the night. The next morning I couldn't put any weight on it so on Monday I got into the Dr. They drained 40cc of fluid out of the knee..gross, and gave me a cortisone shot and sent me on my way. They said to wait a few days before exercising so I did nothing and that weekend I swam...because by day three after I had it drained it was filling up with fluid again. Called the Dr the next Monday and they said to call an Ortho doc. Got in to them on Tuesday, they drained it and sent me for a MRI on Wednesday, and it started filling up again on Wednesday. We thought maybe a meniscus tear.

My inlaws came into town (another post...) and the Dr went on vacation so I had to wait for the results. When I called to check and see if I could exercise (I'd been 4 weeks without any consistent exercise and it was killing me) the medical assistant said, "yeah, so no meniscus tear, acl, lcl, all okay so just don't do anything high impact." Which I took as, "there is nothing wrong with you, it's in your head and you're going to have to deal with the pain." SO I swam on Saturday and rode my bike Sunday. Hurt like a mother effer. Got extremely drunk that Sunday night (it was Memorial Day weekend) and was hungover Monday but still swam that afternoon. Had my appt on Thursday when...

...my Dr (or PA) said, "well, there is no tear, but there is a LOT going on with your knee." Apparently I have a 13mm hole in my cartilage (see fall up above), left knee, and have worn all the cartilage down to the bone on my patella. Bone on bone. Enter pain and swelling and THANK GAWD it is not all in my head. The only fix is surgery unless I want to deal with the pain, not being able to walk my dogs more than a mile, getting into the shower and not being able to put my undies on like a normal person. Oh, and become a swimmer...not gonna happen. So T and I met with the surgeon on Monday, set a date...June 26th, and he is going to decide on which surgery once he gets in there. I have a surgical clearance appt with my primary on Monday, get my doppler done, blood work yada yada. And then we're just 2 weeks away.

I mean, there are worse things in the world. But this really screws with my plans this year. I'm gaining weight like no ones business...apparently my body didn't share with my appetite that we are doing less...therefore I do NOT NEED TO EAT SO FUCKING MUCH! I digress...it sucks. I can't even work out to get in shape before the surgery. Lame ass. And I may not be able to do my IM next year as I've been planning since LAST year. Ugh. Again though, there are worse things that could happen to a person.

Well, this was long, I apologize if I even have readers left. Ha. Peace out kids, I'll be blogging more b/c I will be immobile for 8 weeks, the first 2 at home with not much to do. Brody above at 1yr, he's gonna be a monster, but such a sweet monster.

One dream becomes reality

I started riding my bike in 2004 when my friend Legs suggested that Trainer and I do the MS150 the following Spring of 2005, a bicycle ride from Houston to Austin. She had done it the year before and so we said, great! Sounds Good! Lucky for me a co-worker rode and so did his 2 sons. They had an extra bike that he was willing to sell me for $200. We didn't want to invest too much money into the bike because we didn't even know if I'd like riding. Another $100 went into the bike - seat, handlebars and some other little things. And the next week I went on my first 10 mile ride. Which I thought was SOOOO far!

In 2005, before the ride, Trainer got a brand new bike with Dura Ace (top of the line) components for a GREAT price, it was one of those...'we have to do this, too good to pass up' kind of deals. We trained and trained (he used to bribe me with scones in the middle of our ride) and finally made it to Houston, with our bikes in boxes, and did the ride from Houston to Austin. I loved it. That is also when we fell in love with Austin and decided to move here!

Once we moved here I didn't do much riding, running...anything...for about a year. I gained 10 lbs and was working all of the time. In 2007 I started running again. In 2008 was my first attempt at swimming, that didn't stick. Then I met Mid-West Girl. During our friendship she started training for the Austin Triathlon in 2009. So I told her I would ride with her. It got me back on my bike and remembering how much I LOVED riding. Just for the joy of being outdoors, alone with your thoughts, looking at all the beauty that surrounds us...for me it's like a sanctuary. A really big one. Anyway, after riding with her for months and months, running with my running partner I decided to take real swim lessons with T3 Training group and then I started Triathlons. But my love was and is the bike.

We put off getting me a new bike because something else was always more important. New windows, vet bills, paying off debt...and once we started doing that I wasn't going to spend thousands on a bike. My little, heavy, Cannondale got me through several Century rides, countless weekend rides, 6 triathlons included a Half Ironman, and brought me peace when I needed it the most. I will always love that heavy monster.

It's been a year now that I've been with my new training group FOMO, well...my Coachy Coach  is a sponsored athlete and she can share some of those discounts with her athletes...such as myself. Those discounts included (drum roll) bicycles. OMG. I scored a complete deal on this bad boy below...or will it end up being a bad girl. Hmmm...ponder that. Anyway, no, our debt is not paid off. Yes, this will add about 2 months to the end of our schedule. BUT, this is a one time shot to get something really nice for myself for a really great price. Not everyone understands it. One of my girlfriends said I was crazy and that she'd spend that money going to Europe. (PS - that kind of money won't get you very far in the EU.)

So - here it is...my new ride...that should arrive on Wednesday or Thursday (most likely Thursday b/c that is how my life goes):

What do you think...male or female....hmmm...

Well, time for my long run, I've put it off long enough. Peace out my pretties!

Six weeks until Vacation!!!! (Rambling post)

GAWD I cannot wait to go on vacation. This hot weather is sucking the life and soul out of me. And now with the wind my allergies are mimicking a sore throat and shitty attitude. :)

Okay, so first I have to respond to Shan's comment on my last post. Love my Shan, Sexy Hippy Mama, with all my heart. If I told all of you readers how much sleep I get you might hunt me down and slaughter me in the middle of the night. I get 8-10 hours every night (albeit broken sleep - thank you Brody, but still.) I do sleep, and sleep, and sleep and if I didn't have to get up I'd probably sleep some more. And just to point out to all of my parental readers: Believe me when I tell you that my athletic endeavors are SO much easier and less energy sucking than your adorable children. I can go out on a 7 hour bike ride, run for 30 min and still be able to make it through the rest of the day (with a short nap of course) and be fine the next day. When I watched my precious little 'H' man while Yoga Babe was giving birth (yes, remember I was there during a home birth) for 8 hours I was exhausted. Mentally, physically exhausted for the next 2 days! My point is that child rearing (haha) is effing hard work, a lot harder than this tri shit.

Speaking of tri-shit. I am on my maintenance plan and enjoying it. I have one week left and then I start training for my 1/2 marathon in January. I'm excited. Running with a purpose is good at times, especially when I'm trying to refocus on me, my body, my motivation...etc. You get the idea. Blah-diity-blah-blah-blah.

Fun stuff in life: Went to tea with Yoga Babe and a new friend on Saturday. (side note - I was completely lazy on Saturday, read a book and a half, did no exercise...blissful day.) The Steeping Room is one of our favorite places and after tea we walked around the outdoor shopping area and well, we shopped. I got new UNDIES! YEAH!!! Yes, I am super stoked about my new undies, and they are not Fredrick's undies, they are good 'ol day to day underwear. They have come along way in 7 years. I think that is the last time I purchased undies for day to day. I have plenty of uncomfortable, only on for an hour max, sexy, sassy, play things underwear. I bought 14 new undies. Bikini and thongs. They are SOOOO comfortable. I threw out all of the old undies. Very satisfying. UNDIES!!!! Sorry, still excited and it was 3 days ago. :)

OH, and I remembered why I quit WW this last time. It doesn't quite work right for people that exercise a lot. I guess it could...I don't know, maybe I'm doing it wrong?? Regardless I'm paid up through December so I will lose that $$, but I did join a nutrition challenge through my nutritionist. Probably a better way to go since it is custom to me, my workout habits and life habit...ie; pizza Fridays and pastry Sundays.

K, I'm just babbling again. I will post again tomorrow (mostly b/c work is sucking the life out of me and this makes it bearable.)  I will pick one of those topics from my last post. Have a great day! It's Tuesday, 4 days to go. Rockin.

I need a tape recorder...

...for my bike. So that when I'm riding and have all of these fabulous ideas for blogging I remember them when I actually sit down to WRITE the blog. *sigh*

This is the phrase that has been plaguing my thoughts this week:

"Wanting something means nothing if you're not going to DO anything to get what you want."

When I was trying to organize my 'crap' room I came across my old (seriously old, like when I was 17-18years old...old) journals. Here is the opening sentence to one entry: "I want to be thin...and I'm writing this as I eat a snickers bar." Well duh honey! That's not going to work! And today I find myself doing the exact same thing. Well, not really a snickers bar, but too many calories, not enough burn...etc. Whatever.

My score for the week on getting up early =  0/5, that's right. NO early mornings! DAMN IT! But, I will try again next week. I have to keep trying. One of these days I might actually get a foot on the floor, followed by the other foot, dressed and out the door. It could happen. Really. Swear.

Other things that were going through my head on my ride, which will become blog post (so stay tuned!):

• I need new friends, ones that aren't talented...so I can feel like I am talented. 
• This fat leg thingy issue is a curse, but a blessing.
• Why do I stay at my job.
• Women CAN be crazy and over sensitive, and then there's the other side of the coin. 
• Why did I start this blog.
• If self-loathing were a competition I could podium.

And so on and so on. At least I have ammunition for 6 new posts, and I think they'll turn out well.

But really, back to the 'wants'. Action is needed to make these 'wants' into reality. If I want a new bike I need to save for it. If I want to become a better athlete I have to practice/train. If I want to lose weight, like really lose the weight, I'm going to have to take action (fortunately I'm on the right path for this one!) And if I really want to do an Ironman I am going to have to DO a lot of 'somethings' to make it a reality. Actions speak louder than words, even if the words are only in your head. 

My solo ride was good today. I rode 26 miles at 16.4mph, so getting my speed back...slowly. I'm still about 2mph shy of what I was riding in 2009, so I'll keep at it. Can't get a new bike and suck. I completed my brick (run right after bike) and it was a struggle, but I didn't short myself. Yesterday I did my run, I didn't short myself. Tomorrow I will run AND swim...and that's right...I won't short myself. 

Tomorrow and the next day and the day after that I will strive to become a better version of myself. What will you do today or tomorrow or the next day to take a step towards those 'wants'?

Control

Getting back into the swing of things takes a certain amount of control.

During my lunch with Coachy Coach she asked me some great questions, many were just to get me thinking, but most were to get me moving in the right direction. One was, "well, how ARE you going to get control of your eating and working out?" Legit questions coming from the person who writes my workouts and is seeing no progress...to no fault of her own, which I tell her every week. :)

Anyway, the good news is that even before our meeting I had just joined (or re-joined) Weight Watchers. They have yet another system, I think this will be my 4th time doing the plan?? The first time didn't work, but I don't think I really wanted to lose the weight. Or rather, I didn't want to work at it. And losing weight takes work...a lot of work and perceived sacrifice. (Because really...saying no to a donut isn't a 'real' sacrifice...) I started on Tuesday morning and by my weigh in on Friday I was already down 3lbs. Yes, water weight, however if I keep drinking the water - the weight will stay off - so I consider it a real loss. I will weigh in once a week like I'm supposed to and log-in online and TRACK my shit. Yes, you have to track what is going in your mouth and you are forced to make decisions. I feel more in control and know that this is all in my hands. Good.

And guess what? From there, the weight loss comes the benefits of exercise. I get more 'points' if I exercise...meaning I can eat a little more when I exercise, not the entire farm. ie; after a 2 hour workout I can go have a slice or two of pizza and not worry about it...however, I cannot have the 2 slices of pizza, a cinnamon roll, ice cream and mac and cheese for dinner. Which sadly, yes I admit it, has happened before. I haven't gained a ton of weight, but I popped back into the 160s which ticks me off. So now I am less than 2 pounds away from the 150s (yes, that would be 159)  and I'm motivated to get there. (Oh, and more than that...it is so much easier to run and bike when you weigh less, every 5lbs makes a HUGE difference.)

Motivated to get there....and to do my workouts. Every week my dear Coachy Coach write these workouts and on Sunday I get ALL excited for what the week holds. Then ultimately I work a few 10-12 hour days, come home, feed the pups, start dinner and it is 8pm and dark outside. And then my lovely 9month old pup wakes us up every couple of hours to go outside...and not because he needs to relieve himself, but because it's cool outside and he wants to bark...so I get no sleep and am exhausted and therefore do not get my ass out of bed to get to the gym. Then a pattern of missed workouts start to pile up, I start to feel like shit from missing the workouts....and then we repeat the pattern. (Pete and Repeat go into a bar, Pete comes out, who is left? Repeat...Okay, Pete and Repeat go into a bar...)

Well, Trainer has no choice and has to get up for clients. I've made another decision that I'm going to get up at 5 am every morning next week and GO TO THE GYM (that opens at 5:30 and is 5 min from the house) and do my workouts. At least the ones I can do at the gym, like mid-week cycling and swimming, the running I will only do on the dreadmill if there is no other alternative.

I have the puppies in Playcare 2x a week so on those days (Monday and Thursday) I am going to workout in the AM and/or at lunch. There, I said it. Now I have to accountable. Which is something I obviously need. I will report back next weekend to tell everyone (my millions of readers....hahaha) what I did and did not do. I'm not superhuman, I know that, but I can do SO much better than what I've been doing. I AM better than this. I am. I know it.

And...we're back! Again

Okay, so I don't have the best track record for blogging. *Le Sigh*

I think I'll start the new chapter with - A year to remember...my 37th year.

As we know, if you follow me, my b-day was just a week or so ago. The big 38, so I've decided to do a year in review. What did I learn this year? Well, I learned that grief and depression suck. I learned that when something bad happens it really can get worse. I also learned that when you feel like you are alone, which you are because you've been isolating yourself, there really are people there waiting for you to rejoin life....right where you left off.

Actually year 37 started off awesome with a 65 mile bike ride on my actual b-day. I completed a half Iron Man in under 7 hours. I steadily worked at my debt (which is still there, but dwindling.) And then...well G-buddy passed away. We won't rehash, I've written a lot about it already.

I read a lot of books, I took about 5-6 months off of training...well, really life. :) And then I tried to start back again...and again....and again....and I keep on trying. But I found that this is the key. You have to keep trying. I love my life, my husband, my pups...I mean, I have it really great. So it's worth getting up every day and trying to make myself better.

Today I had lunch with my Coachy Coach (she's so effing adorable) and she was trying to get 'What motivates me' and it is making me think. Self analysis, I know I've been down this road before, but delve into it we must.

I am only competitive with things that I am good at....say like music (although I don't know if that is true any more either! HA!) Obviously I'm not competitive with triathlon. At least not with anyone but myself.

I don't know if it's because I am a Virgo or that I was born to my mother, but I am extremely hard on myself and want to please people. If I don't make a goal I feel like I've disappointed someone...how ridiculous is this??? Ri-dic-u-lous. So each week I get workouts and I can complete them however I want, but lately I've only been doing about 50% or less...and I feel bad about that. This shouldn't be stressful...I do this for FUN...HELL I PAY FOR THIS SHIT! Okay, so how to re-frame my mind, how to get this to be enjoyable again? Suggestions? Ha, actually suggestions wont work, it has to come from within, I know that. Ugh.

So here it is...next year I am pre-training for the 2013 IMAZ. Along the way I am going to set some goals and see how it goes. Here are a splattering of goals for 2012:

-Run Ladera Norte, no walking (really effing steep hill in the NW Hills area)

-Run the 3M 1/2 marathon in January

-Do a Spring race, never done one before

-Do at least 2 charity rides (or non charity, but just fun rides) of 70+ miles in the Spring

-Participate in the Splash and Dash series, they are cheap, fun and I'll get pummeled in the water.

That's it for now, will fill in more along the way. Sorry for the long ass post, but hell...I've been gone for a bit!

'Til later my sweets!! Rockin

Blogging Project - Day 21

One of my favorite shows

Hmmm...well, this doesn't specify what kind of show. I'm assuming they mean television right? Because my favorite show...as in musical...is Wicked. Hands down. Awesome. I was able to see it in Chicago while I was on a business trip.

Okay, one of my favorite television shows. Growing up it would have been a toss up between Family Ties and The Cosby Show. Thursday night prime time, we were only allowed 1hr of tv on that day, other wise it was 30 min a day.

Today one of my favorite shows is House. I love the dynamics between the characters, I love the basis of the show, the medical mysteries...everything about it. We DVR it and watch it on the weekends. I say I don't like reality tv, however two of my other favorite shows are just that. Top Chef and Dancing with the Stars. Yes. I'm not ashamed...and I hope Hines Ward takes it all!!!

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Today I am all packed up and ready to head to Houston after work to cheer on my friends that are doing IronMan Texas!!! We won't get in until late and tomorrow my day will start at 4am, helping my peeps, driving back and forth to hotels and trying to calm nerves. The race will go until midnight, although I believe most of my friends will be done by 11pm. Still...a long day for everyone. I've never seen an IronMan live, very, very exciting stuff!!!

OH, and since this was the only day I could do it...I rode my bike to work today. 'Cause it is National Ride your Bike to Work Day. In case you didn't know. :)

Blogging Project - Day 20

Holy Crap! Can you believe I've done 20 of these so far? Me either. And yes, I'm behind. :)

How important I believe education is

Extremely important. Not just for the knowledge, but the social skills and interaction with adults that aren't your parents. You learn how to adapt in different situations, you learn tolerance, you learn so many thing aside from the books. And yes, books (or information) are important to. :)

So many kids today go to school, yet are uneducated. Seriously, get on FB to see how many youngsters misspell or use words incorrectly. DRIVES ME CRAZY! I'm so glad that I went to school at a time where teachers weren't forced to teach to a test. That is what is happening today. Back in my day....a LONG time ago...teachers were unique, you wanted to be in their class! Now most of the creativity has been driven away. I'm not saying that the teachers today are sub-par, I just believe that they don't have the same opportunity or freedoms that my teachers did. Sad.

College. Is it important? Yes and no. I went to school for music education, I have a degree in K-12, however I have never stepped into a classroom after I finished college. I waited tables (talk about a life lesson!!!) and then went into accounting, and I love it. I think my degree opened the door for me, it shows employers that you can finish something. But I know many people who do not have a college education and are intelligent driven people and are very successful. Toss up. And today's world is based on 'who you know' rather than 'what you know.'

Okay...on to the next day. :)

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In training news last week was awesome. I completed 5 workouts and they were assigned. This week is not going AS well, but I'm still plugging away.

Me...college days:

Blogging Project - Day 19

Disrespecting your parents

This is not a tough one for me. I believe that your parents deserve respect. I didn't even curse around my parents until maybe the last 5 years, and still I cannot say the 'F' word in front of them. I never talked back. My mom was pretty hardcore with the verbal discipline, and I never wanted to find out if she would make good on her 'promises' and I learned to just fade into the back ground.

I only got in trouble once in my youth, I think I was 12, Little Bro would have been about 4, and I said something like, "I wish he had never been born!!!" and my dad grabbed my arm and said, "So you wish that he was dead??" and I got sent to my room. No, I mean...I didn't wish he was DEAD, I just didn't ever want him there to begin with! I was the baby for 8 years! COME ON! That was it though, I didn't want to disappoint them or hurt them.

Our parents have gone through a lot of shit. I mean, most of us have it pretty darn good, but refuse to see it. My dad was tossed from one foster home to the next when his mom was tired of him and his sisters. When grandma needed the money she took the kids back for more Welfare $$. And my mom...well, her house was made of mud...in Mexico. 'Nuff said. They deserve respect. They earned it. And it drives me crazy that kids today get away with way too much and have no consequences...and they think they're entitled. BUT, that is a whole different post...sigh.

Respect your parents. Always.

***Disclaimer....there are certain parents out there who do not deserve the kind of respect that I give my parent. Abuse, neglect and other ugly realities exist and those people don't deserve the children that they had/have.

Blogging Project - Day 18

My Beliefs

Hmmm, how to approach this...list? I think so.

I believe the children are our future...oh, wait....that's a song right?

Seriously, I think I covered a lot of my beliefs along the way here, I'll just do up some bullet points:

• I believe that everything happens for a reason
• I believe there is something guiding the universe (faith) and every person's 'something' can be different
• I believe that a run, coffee and chatting with a friend is great therapy
• I believe that shopping, margaritas, trying on fancy dresses and chatting with friends is even better therapy!
• I believe that every person meets for a reason, we all play a role in this movie called 'Life'
• I believe that teachers are severely underpaid
• I believe that parents should take responsibility for raising their children
• I believe that I grew up in the best decade ever (the 80s-90s rule!)
• I believe that mistakes are life lessons, we should all make them
• I believe that you should pick up after your dog - Pooh Kharma is real people!!
• I believe that every day is a gift, some days it may feel like a prank, but hey, we're still alive
• I believe that I don't want to live past 80, we'll see what I say if I'm still here at 79 :)

That's about it. I mean, there is a LOT of stuff that I believe, but really, this is the good list. Now, in theses past couple of days some of my college day friends have been posting pictures...OMG, funny. I'll be posting these in the next couple of days, starting with this one (take note, I always drank good beer!):

Blogging Project - Day 17

My Highs and Lows this past Year

Ugh, I knew I couldn't go too long without a heavy one! This year, from May 2010 to May 2011 wasn't the hardest year of my life, but man...it was a roller coaster.

Starting on a high note I met D-Bomb at the Rookie Tri last year, we were volunteering. She was really nice, by herself and no one was talking to her...except me...cause you all know that I love to talk...to anyone. We hit it off and have really been friends ever since! Then I did my first tri of the Texas Tri Series, Skees Greets. I trained hard last year, through the summer and met a great group of girls that I believe will be life long friends.

Ummm, got an ulcer from stress, both physical and mental (work!!), but other than that was very healthy last year. My in-laws came in and we reconciled after a long 7 years. And of course Trainer and I continued to grow in our relationship.

Now for the tough stuff... I met my goal of completing a half IronMan on October 17th. Ooh and just before that I was a part of a home birth with YZB and that was amazing...right before my big day! I finished my race in 6hr 55 min. I was sick as a dog from dehydration, but it was amazing. I think right after the race I said, "I'll never do that again!!" (However I'm starting to train for my next one.) I took the next 2-3 weeks off and started with a new coach. THEN Trainer and I went on our much deserved vacation to Florida for Thanksgiving.

That started the downward spiral that I'm just now coming out of... My beloved Gunthar died while we were gone. And for some reason I just could not cope. I tried. Exercise didn't work. Food didn't work. Alcohol didn't work. Talking about it only made it worse... *sigh*...it was a horrible couple of months. I stopped going out with people, stopped exercising, stopped participating in life for a bit. THEN I got help...from a medical professional. Like I said before, just asking for help took a load of pressure off of my heart.

Now I am back to being social, exercising...drinking (responsibly!) and of course talk, talk, talking! (That encompasses blogging IMO!) I teared up just a little writing that above paragraph, but before I would have been in a heap of tears. (Can you be in a heap of tears??)

Back on the upswing. We got a new puppy...Brody...the Brodster...Schmoopy...Pooh Bear...sweet little guy. I got a tiny, ensie-weensie raise, got offered another job on my qualifications, made good life decisions and whacked off another year of debt! So all in all it was a good year. The lows made me stronger. The highs made me appreciate everything that I have in my life.

Blogging Project - Day 16

Sorry, sorry... (SHANNA)...I fell off the wagon temporarily. There are days I actually do have to work where it takes the entire day. :) I know... sacrilegious!

My view on mainstream music

LOVE IT! Okay, really I don't love all of it. But sadly...for being a music major...I don't have a strong opinion either way. I love all kinds of music. Not a big fan of R&B, heavy rap or thrash metal. Everything else from classical to funk to heavy metal is great in my book. Living in Austin you'd think that I'd be a bit of a snob, but really...not so much. My FAV kind of music is an original 'sound' if that makes sense. I love Pink, no one sounds just like her. Sheryl Crow, James Hetfield, Macy Gray...these are people that aren't cookie cutter. Never been a big bubble gum pop fan....Britney, Christina, Miley etc.

Eh, to each his/her own. Oh, and I love mainstream big box office movies too. Yep. Sure do.

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This past Saturday I did the Shiner Ride. It's a 100 (97 actually, but we round up) mile ride from Austin, TX to Shiner, TX...right to the Shiner brewery. Score! Last year was awesome and this year was good, but not as successful for several reasons. It was hot and effing windy. Very, Very windy. The last 10 miles were the worst, but I did have some great spots on the ride. All of this swimming...or finning as I prefer to call it...is helping me with hills! Well, that's my theory anyway! I rode with D-Bomb and it was her first time doing a century ride. These are not for the faint of heart. You have to have a strong resolve and a high tolerance for pain b/c your Whoo-haaa will feel like it's being caught on fire...over and over and over again.

Then yesterday I finned my way around the Quarry with my Ironfriends. I'm just a Sherpa (pack mule that does whatever you need on race day), but I'm an Iron Sherpa! All I do it put on my fins and grab my kick board and swim in front of my friends. They sight off of my feet and board, well, I turn around and put up my bright yellow board when they start going off track! Major leg work this weekend. But I'm getting my training mojo back. Very excited about that.

Hope everyone had a fab Mother's day!! Here's a geek'd out pic of me and D from the ride:

Blogging Project - Day 15

My Favorite Tmblrs

Okay, I must be really, really old because I have no idea what Tmblr is! Okay, just looked it up, and in case anyone else is as old and uneducated (techwise) as I...here you go:

From my Google search

Web definitions

• Tumblr is a blogging platform that allows users to post text, images, video, links, quotes, and audio to their tumblelog, a short-form blog. Users are able to "follow" other users and see their posts together on their dashboard. Users can "like" or "reblog" posts from other blogs on the site. ...

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tumblr

So does it just mean 'Blog'? Eh, whatever. I'm not playing on this one since I don't understand it. HAHA! How old and crotchety do I sound???

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Went to the Dr today for my shoulder that has been jacked up since November. I didn't tear anything, but the therapy is super painful. I'll have to go 2x a week for a couple of weeks to release the muscles that are pinching the tendons and ligaments in my subscap. I almost threw up when he was doing ART (Active release therapy) on it.

I'm doing the Shiner Century (100 miles) on Saturday and I'm so not as ready as I was last year. That's okay though, I will just have fun and peddle my legs off. I'll report on that Monday. :) Ta-ta for now peeps! The Austin Motel sign always cracks my juvie a** up!!

Blogging Project - Day 14

My earliest memory

Have I talked about this before?? Hmmm...maybe. My earliest memory is at age 4, going over to Hoe's house to see if they had any little girls my age in residence. I'm sure I didn't say, "Do you have any girls that are 4yrs old in residence" more likely "Do you have any little girls to play with?" And they did. My mom must have been with me...but I don't remember her as a part of the equation. I do remember Hoe's mom, and her sister...and of course her. She had her golden brown lock (similar to mine) pinned back in barrettes. I can't remember what she was wearing, maybe a dress...but that part of the memory is not clear.

Funny thing about these random memories. There are chunks of my life that I cannot remember at all! But I'll remember the name of a friend of a friend that he/she mentioned in a story...once. My memory is so bizarre. I forget little things all of the time, which kind of scares me, I'm sure it's normal, but lately it's been happening more. Eeek!

After that first memory I remember my kindergarten year, I was burned with a cigarette by this kid named Carlos. I was wearing my Cookie Monster cardigan. We were both just 5 years old and how he got a ciggy I'll never know, but he burned me and put a hole in my sweater...loved that sweater.

I remember dressing up for Easter with Hoe in our matching pink checkered dresses and white patent leather shoes. (We had a lot of matching outfits...) I remember parts of Girl Scout camp. Ooh, I remember in 4th grade...my mom loved my teacher (she was awesome...Ms. Spitzer) and made her a fresh strawberry pie. The teacher cut me a slice and I was allowed to sit out in the hall and have a piece! I remember almost everything my mom baked for my birthdays in Elementary School.

I don't remember much about Jr High or High School. Crazy huh? And there are big chunks of college that I don't remember as well. And no...I didn't do drugs and really didn't drink. No idea why these memories are repressed.

Anywho...those are some of my earliest memories. :) This below is not my earliest (obviously) but one of my favorites.

Blogging Project - Day 13

Somewhere I'd like to move or visit

Hmmm, well...if I could move and live a comfortable life (and own a house that does not resemble a shack) I'd live in San Diego, ON the beach so I could have coffee outside every single morning. But since that is not going to happen any time soon I am content where I am living. I LOVE Austin. There is so much to do...if you say there isn't then it's your own fault for not wanting to leave your house!

And somewhere I'd like to visit...SO many places I'd like to visit. Fiji would be at the TOP of the list. Amsterdam, Ireland...well Europe in general would be cool. Although I do tend to favor the sunnier places on earth...that have white sand beaches where I can read and sleep while listening to the ocean soothe away all of my thoughts. Ahhh...wish I was in St. John right now!

Blogging Project - Day 12

This is a day late because...I had to bullet point my day...yawn! Not that I didn't want to do it, it's just not that interesting!

A day in the life of Rockin' Austin

• Wake up at 6:30ish...
• Trainer brings me breakfast in bed (Oatmeal supreme and coffee)
• Leave the house at 8am (yes, I'm supposed to actually be AT work at 8)
• BORING PART...work from 8am-1pm...at my desk answering angry people all day.
• 1pm - Every Monday I go to the grocery store for my lunch if I can and get the weeks worth of stuff
• 1:45 - unpack groceries and start making my ghetto-tizers for the IM meeting at night.
• 2:15pm back to work
• 5:30pm - leave work, get home, play with pups
• 6:10pm - leave the house to head to Coachy Coach's house
• 6:35pm - arrive 5 min late, set out my food, much and visit with my tri-peeps
• 7:00pm - IM meeting (for the athletes, we're just spectating, but it was cool to hear all the info!)
• 8:45pm - Drive ALL the way back home...it's like 10 miles or something ridiculous! (HA!)
• 9:00pm - Arrive home, play with pups
• 9:15pm - Take pills, wash face, brush teeth and hop into bed
• 9:30pm - Watch silly tv to try and fall asleep
• 10:45pm - Turn on CNN and the sleep timer and lay my head down.
  

Boring right? I think so. No exercise in there since I rode 86 mile on Sunday, my legs were a bit...shall we say spent and let's not get in to the coochy area. OUCH!

Blogging Project - Day 11

10 random songs from my iPod

Well, this is an easy one! Although I have a shuffle, so it's always shuffled. :)

1. Gravedancer - Velvet Revolver
2. Home - Daughtry
3. Home - Sheryl Crow
4. Hot in Here - Nelly (explicit version of course!)
5. In Da Club - 50 Cent (Explicit once again)
6. Into the Ocean - Blue October
7. Jar of Hearts - Christina Perri
8. Keep Away - Godsmack
9. Lady Marmalade - Moulin Rouge Soundtrack
10. Lately - David Gray

Funny thing, this is what I take with me to run or do other cardio (aside from the bike b/c we all know my view on cyclists wearing headphones!!!) I love to run to slower songs, I'm sure it doesn't help my pace any, but it makes me happy.

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Went out for D-Bomb's birthday last night. It was hellafun! Her husband rented a Hummer-Limo and there were 11 of us, drank too much, danced too much, wore high heels and make-up. Crazy good times. Trainer even went (he's such a trooper) and didn't say one thing when we went dancing at Rain (a Gay club in the heart of Austin!) I even danced in a cage...twice... Needless to say we cancelled our 80 mile ride for today. I will have to run, but that's much easier to do when feeling...well, 37 after a night out!

And as you can see, I'm getting back on the workout train. I did a spin session on Thursday, ran Friday morning and then swam 3600 meters with TB (tiny bunny) at lunch for an hour and a half! Today I'll run and possibly swim then tomorrow I will ride long. It feels good. My mind is good. Overall...good!

Blogging Project - Day 10

I know, I know...two in one day! But, I forgot to post my 'Day 9' yesterday!

My first love and first kiss

Well, they are definitely not one in the same! My first childhood kiss was with Alan D., a kid who lived down the street from me, we were in 4th grade. We snuck behind my fence and it was over in a millisecond! Ha! My first 'real' kiss (that made me feel all tingly) was with Dan R. in the back of his mom's van on the way back from watching him play hockey. Super romantic!! (NOT!) We had no idea what we were doing, I believe I was 15 at the time, Sophomores in HS. I was pretty much a prude, so 1st base was really it for me. Okay, that's a lie, I think I got to at least 3rd base by the end of HS. BUT, didn't go 'all the way.'

Until...

My first love...*big sigh*....Ricky. The summer after HS Hoe and I went to upstate NY to spend the summer up there. I supposedly had a job (that is why my mom let me go), but in reality Hoe and I just split her paycheck and we were both the grounds keepers at this pool. I'll have to find some of the pics and scan and post. HIL-AR-I-OUS!

Anyway, within our first week there I had met most of the town (it's really tiny) and we went to a party at the 'beach.' (The beach was really a sandy area where there was once water.) All of the kids hung out there around a bonfire drinking and doing stuff that kids shouldn't be doing. It was great. We were just hanging out and this guy comes up to us, he is CUTE and has the most beautiful smile, hair, eyes...and he wanted to talk to me!! ME! What? I know, I was shocked. At this point I didn't believe myself to be a very good looking person, nothing special and I wasn't an outspoken person (my, how things have changed!), or comfortable as the center of attention. Ricky was the homecoming King, the best looking kid in class, very popular...all the things I wasn't.

He ended up taking Hoe and I home in his little sports car (which was the best car in the area) and gave me a small kiss when he let us out. SMITTEN as a kitten I was. We started hanging out, a lot. He was a runner (yep, apparently my 'type') and used to run 8 miles up to the pool. He would get there all sweaty...and drive my 17yr old hormones crazy! We got pretty far on many occasions, but it wasn't until I feel in love with him that I was ready to take that next step. But I did, and it was awkward...the first time...and glorious...and I loved him even more.

Then the summer ended....and he broke my heart. Not right away. We promised to write, call, do all that sappy shit that teenagers promise. I got to school, he wrote me one letter (ONE!) that said that he started dating this chick the same week that I left. I went back a couple summers after that, he was getting married...yes, to that chick. And he almost called it off after we went driving and all of the feelings were still there. But alas, he went through with it. *Le sigh* And I continued on my path...that led me here.

I'm going back to NY this summer for Hoe's wedding (yippee!!) and I hope that he's there. I don't think he will be though...and that's probably good b/c there was a short period of time that I kind of got stalker like on him. :) Hey, I was young! Can you find my younger self?